A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am very tempted to have lots of sex and see what is out there for me. I am in a long distance relationship with an older man who has done it all and been there but I have no experience and I feel like I am missing out on plenty of things. I need advice on what to do. He is a great man but he is not here with me. Please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, I think is time for me to live my life. It's never too late to sow my wild oats. Have fun everyone! I know I will.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): Yeah... Go out there and sow your wild oats.play it safely.hope you find what you are looking for.goodluck and take care!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2010): soul-less one night stands with many different men will not teach you much about what what really matters in life. You could try safer options than that.
Have you read the Kama Sutra cover to cover several times? Have you read the internet available books on fellatio techniques? some of these guides are fantastic. Have you got intouch with what you enjoy the most by improving your own masterbation techniques? People read murder mysteries to try to solve the problem, and learn all about the crimes. They don't have to murder someone themselves to improve their experience. Instead they read the experts. Just as chefs read cook books to improve their techniques and experience.
People continue to be unlucky enough to mix with, and share body fluids with others who already have a STD - with people they hardly know. Thus they are still contracting sexually transmitted diseases. Like Herpes which will then be with them forever. Even a condom can fail. And you would need condons against STD and the pill as protection against pregnancy. Plus sleeping around also puts you at risk of the occasional cruel man who likes to hurt women. Some of those STD cause infertility in the female. People are still dying of AIDS. Or complications of AIDS. Research it in the internet, it may put you off getting some 'experience'.
But why can't you move in with your older friend and enjoy unlimited daily assignations, cuddles, love making (to improve your 'experience'). That would have to be far more rewarding than sleeping around.
What you are proposing is akin to working as an unpaid prostitute. Who wants to be thought of, by men, as 'cheaper than a prostitute'?
Because men in a community DO compare and discuss women they have bedded, with other men. Men would very quickly compare notes on who did what, what you did, how you did it, where you did it, eventually piece together who you have done it with. togther
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (20 November 2010):
 Just because he's not here with you does not give you permission to cheat. You agreed to be in a relationship and either you need to respect that or break it off with him. It's unfair for you take his being elsewhere as permission to cheat. If you're unhappy being in this relationship, then leave and go play the field. But do not cheat, that's just uncalled for.
Just my opinion, but unless you were unhappy with this man, leaving to go have casual sex seems like a pretty bad trade-off. The way you worded the question sounds almost like you want to kind of get even, as in that you're upset he's had a lot of experience. Like I said before, leave if you are unhappy or think you can't be fulfilled without this experience. But it seems like a mistake to get rid of someone you actually care about for a couple one night stands.
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male
reader, shawncaff +, writes (20 November 2010):
 I think you need to ask yourself what you think you are missing out on. Going on a journey to expand yourself and your horizons is a wonderful and exciting thing. But it needs to emerge from a feeling of wanting to grow as a person, of feeling contained and stifled in who and where you are. If you are acting out of jealousy, a feeling of wanting to be accepted, or desperation, your journey can really just be a flight into self-destruction.
I think before doing something like having a lot of sex, you need to have more self-understanding of why you want to do this, which you have not explained. Is it because you feel he will like you more? Are you envious of him? Do you feel you will not satisfy him?
Also, I think most would agree that the pursuit of physical pleasure for its own sake is ultimately empty. Having many sex partners without love or caring has a coarsening effect on the soul, making you feel like a commodity and making you view others in the same way.
I'd be happy to hear your response.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (20 November 2010):
 You both have to agree on your status of your committment. Are you exclusive to each other? Is casual sex okay with other people as long as you still call him boyfriend? You said he has done it all so you may be surprised to hear that he actually approves of you experimenting. If not, do what you have to do to get it out of your system. Enjoy life and don't regret anything. He's not the last great man on earth.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2010): Oh No!!
Yeah get out of that relationship....youre feeling some very unneeded pressure to go and do certain things. Im ahh *cough* a little inexperienced myself and was with a girl who was a *cough* very promiscuous and it did not work out well at all. I was always comparing myself, always worried about not pleasing her, blah blah blah...I just knew I needed to go and find a girl who was just like me and even if I didnt, not to ask questions about her past and just pretend shes just like me haha...after all thats all that matters is shes with me. Its worked so far...all I know is I think youre in the wrong situation. Good luck.
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