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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Is Pornography cheating?
Q. The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
A. 17 September 2011: I read something on the newspaper. It is not quite prostitution. It says that in Toronto, 50% of the exotic dancers are students. They are not necessarily selling sex, they are selling sexuality. Some are on the way to become doctors and lawyers. So ... (read in full...)
My husband is always crossing the line with females!
Q. i have been with my husband 5 years married nearly one. weve always been up and down..but thats just us. but as long as ive been with him and dated him..he alwayss crosses the line with female friends. hes always flirting etc. and it bothers me to ...
A. 8 July 2011: Tell him honestly that his flirting with other women makes you feel uncomfortable, like he is keeping his options open as if he's still single. Every relationship has its ups and downs. The issues weren't worked through and he is looking for ... (read in full...)
I like my sisters potential boyfriend but I don't know what I should do..
Q. So my sister likes this guy who is my age. Shes only a year younger. Were both in high school but go to different schools so i've never met him. She told me a lot about him and from what I heard he was definitly my type. We like the same music, same ...
A. 8 July 2011: You should open up to your sister about your feelings. She will respect you if you are honest yet having no intentions to betray her. Ask her how much she likes this guy, and whether you can return the ipod to him. That's the only way to find out if ... (read in full...)
Do I have any chance to get my ex back?
Q. My ex broke up with me nearly 1 month ago and to be honest i'm still struggling, feeling wreck, we were together for 2 years, physically 1 year and 10 month and we're in long distance now.... So this is one of the reason that she broke up with me i ...
A. 25 June 2011: I think that depends on how much connection you had before. Your email scriptl made you sound like a victim in a weaker position. If your view of her is an ungrateful, untrustworthy person, then there you go she is not worth your time, then this ... (read in full...)
What are the defining qualities that you look for in a man, from initial attraction to wanting to develop a relationship with someone?
Q. Question to the women out there on dear cupid... What are the defining qualities that you look for in a man, from initial attraction to wanting to develop a relationship with someone? I only ask this for a little advice as I struggle quit...
A. 31 May 2011: The women here will tell you different things. You should define what you want in a woman instead of become a generalized likable hot guy to every woman.
What makes me attracted to a guy initially is that he knows what he wants and is not afra... (read in full...)
The guy I dated briefly said that I scared him with my questions!!
Q. I dated this great guy for a month. He said on the third date that he like me very much, we also had such a great time togheter, lots of laugh,and a great chemistry. We were also very attracted to eachoter, even though we didnt have sex (he said it ...
A. 31 May 2011: I think you should focus on light stuff for now. Suggest something to do that he might like. Your message should not be about why he didn't contact you, what he's scared about. Instead, be light hearted and find something to tease him. You had a ... (read in full...)
The guy I dated briefly said that I scared him with my questions!!
Q. I dated this great guy for a month. He said on the third date that he like me very much, we also had such a great time togheter, lots of laugh,and a great chemistry. We were also very attracted to eachoter, even though we didnt have sex (he said it ...
A. 30 May 2011: I am thinking why the questions were scary. I guess it's because he doesn't have the answers for you. Sometimes when girls ask questions they are not looking for answers right away, they are just brain storming. He is afraid that because he doesn't ... (read in full...)
Husband jumping to conclusions.
Q. I really need you help here.....please be patient with me as this is very confusing to explain.. here a bit of background.. my husband of 7 years constantly brings up my past, he doesn t believe what I have told him is the truth and thinks I have w...
A. 29 May 2011: Give him the divorce. I don't know how you can stand 7 years of being interrogated. There is nothing to explain about. It was from years ago and you moved on. When you have to answer something which isn't his business to know, and then make up stuff ... (read in full...)
I suspicious that he's cheating again
Q. I have been dating a guy for awhile now. The relationship started off kind of rocky, as he was an alcoholic. We fought about this for a long time, but he promised that after his birthday he would stop drinking. I didn't completely believe him, but I ...
A. 28 May 2011: It seems like he is always addicted to some underground activity. If you stopped his drinking and cheating then he would find something else to fuel his addiction. He is getting something out of texting the girl. Even if nothing happens between them ... (read in full...)
After 1 year of being the perfect FWB, I ended things. I will miss him but did I do the right thing?
Q. Hi, Everything started one year ago. This guy and I got extremely close and I honestly thought he felt the same as I did. We slept together during all this time but he started to be more and more distant. It was clear for every one that he didn...
A. 28 May 2011: You can not control the feelings and actions of other people, and neither can other people control you. You may have the magical thinking that because you remain cool and distant and therefore a guy should start chasing you and caring about you. ... (read in full...)
I'm enjoying keeping him a secret
Q. Why do i like the idea of seeing a guy secretly? Normally if I'm just texting a guy or seeing someone, i always tell my friends. Literally anything to do with a guy i will tell them!! But recently, I've decided that i like keeping it to myself and ...
A. 28 May 2011: Talking to your female friends about boyfriends is too much of a common thing to do. You want to make your relationship a special one, a one that's better than the others. You also don't want your friends' opinion to affect how you think about the ... (read in full...)
I am not attracted to my husband and I have a crush on my CPA. What do I do?
Q. I am a 40 year old woman in a marriage for almost 20 years. I love my husband, but I may not be "in love" with him. I'm not really sure what the difference is. I had other boyfriends sexually, but he was my first real emotional relation...
A. 28 May 2011: I think you married the wrong person. Not that he is a horrible guy and deserves no good woman. You two are a mismatch. I believe you stayed that long because it's comfortable and you feel guilty leaving what's otherwise a good man. You are still ... (read in full...)
When a man says I love you first
Q. Been seeing this man for 7 months, I always knew he had feelings for me but never knew how much until he told me a week ago. He told me he loved me and he wanted to me to have his baby. I was shocked by this, I had no idea he felt this way. He ...
A. 28 May 2011: It's up to you to let him know that a future with you is a good thing. At first when men think of other people's kids they worry they don't have a place, and that the kids won't listen to a new father, power struggle and relationship dynamics such ... (read in full...)
One minute he wants a relationship the next he just wants to be friends!
Q. I have been seeing a man who has had his share of heartache not only through his children, but through his two marriages, both of which were fairly long term ( 22 years for the first and 6 for the second). He and I have an obvious chemistry, ...
A. 24 May 2011: You tell him that a true fulfilling relationship is what you want. A boyfriend is a lover, a friend, a protector all in one. He is free to be with whomever but if he is with you, you want it to be exclusive. Having chemistry is good. Now the next ... (read in full...)
Nothing I do entices him sexually, should I just leave?
Q. My boyfriend of a year is completely different to when I met him. When I was with him first we had sex several times a day, and now we rarely have sex and when we do it's me who inniciates it. I am 20 years old, he is 25... I always thought I was an...
A. 24 May 2011: I think he has an erectile dysfunction and he doesn't want to admit it. He's using excuses and cover ups to avoid dealing with the problem. He's afraid that if you knew of his problem you might leave him. It is usually an old man problem so he feels ... (read in full...)
He broke up because he's worried I'll cheat on him!
Q. I and him broke up 1 months ago. In that time I think very carefully and figured out that he is the love of my life. But after I stopped contact him one week then he called me last saturday but then after 30 minute talking very nice, he asked me ...
A. 24 May 2011: That juicy girl is some distraction. He knows that she is not marriage material, at least for him. So if nothing happens between them it's not a big deal. I believe this break up is a time for you to rethink things, and it's not a permanent one. ... (read in full...)
A million thoughts are going through my head after he told me he cheated on me!
Q. Hey heres some background my boyfrind who iv been with over a year and is pregnant with his baby (just found out 2 months ago) Cheated on me about 3 or 4 months ago he confessed and i know he was truly sorry he was crying well he was tring to tell ...
A. 24 May 2011: From all those questions remove those that had to do with the other girl. Ask him if he finds you the most attractive. Ask him if he cares about you. Ask him if he thinks that one woman can make him happy for life. Does he think that marriage can ... (read in full...)
Does it make men mad when they can't finish
Q. How do I last longer in bed I'm 18 and when me an my boyfriend get intimate I always have to stop an he don't get to finish sometimes because it hurts. I want him to be able to finish an be happy. And one more question does it make men mad when they ...
A. 24 May 2011: When sex hurts you are doing something wrong. For me, it only hurts afterwards when all the adrenaline goes down. Maybe you are not aroused enough. The purpose of sex is not to let him finish and get it over with. It doesn't make men mad when they ... (read in full...)
I just can’t be just a friend because I will always want her. Please help.
Q. Hi everyone. I have a huge shot in the heart right now and its been two weeks and still feel the same pain from the moment it happened. The final result before you all read the story is that she emailed me and said she wants to be friends, that she ...
A. 23 May 2011: Picky means that just by being a nice guy is not enough.
When it comes to picking a mate, the decision is more emotional and instinctual. It's true that girls want to be fed, given flowers. These are things you do after you know each other well... (read in full...)
Should I give my ex another chance or will he just continue his previous behavior?
Q. Hey everyone - would appreciate your thoughts! Basically just over a month ago my ex boyfriend was having doubts about our relationship as he was really unhappy and didn't know if it was us or something else that made him feel unhappy. He even ...
A. 22 May 2011: Sometimes it takes a break up to realize what you are losing. I've had boyfriends done this to me before and I swear this has got to be the biggest sin they are doing. As he makes the promise to be with you also tell him to write an article here ... (read in full...)
20 years older than me, is he just being friendly?
Q. I know a man who is much older than me, and he winks at me every time he sees me, and he always says i am special, and he said that if he was 20 years younger, he would go after me. He also knew about this guy who treated me badly once, and he said ...
A. 22 May 2011: He is more than friendly and basically saying whenever you are ready he is. He is testing whether you find this age gap acceptable. If he's not married and he's nice, there is no harm in being his friend and more. He is only making hypothetical ... (read in full...)
Is Pornography cheating?
Q. The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
A. 22 May 2011: "I'm not touching or forming attachments to any other woman in any way - it's basically the same as imagining a different woman, only faster."
That's imagining having sex with another woman, which is a problem for a lot of begrudged wives here. Can'... (read in full...)
Our relationship is getting rocky. Can I fix it? he's acting like a jerk
Q. I am feeling really unloved by my boyfriend of two years. At first we were really close, and did a lot of things together and we're inseperable. He said and did all the right things. But lately, it's just been a rocky road and I mean rocky. He a...
A. 22 May 2011: If you want to be appreciated, show him that just by listening to you you feel appreciated. When you talk more than he has the capacity to listen, he feels like you are using him as an emotional punching bag. Crying won't make him want to appreciate ... (read in full...)
Is Pornography cheating?
Q. The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
A. 22 May 2011: I think it's problematic for a man to take out anger on women. I would have noticed the anger problem in a guy long before he becomes my husband. I don't know where you watch your porn. My impression from reading your post is that you actually watch ... (read in full...)
Is Pornography cheating?
Q. The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
A. 20 May 2011: I sympathize with women who feel hurt by men who ignore them and watch porn for hours. I have no intentions of taking sides. I just want to put things in a different perspective. If women can understand what's in a man's mind they may be able to ... (read in full...)
Does body odor matter when you feel chemistry for someone?...
Q. This might sound weird but... do you guys think the smell is part of feeling chemistry with someone? LOL ok, well a guy doesn't have to necessarily smell "bad", but isn't true that when you feel chemistry with someone, their body smell drives you ...
A. 20 May 2011: Body odor is a big factor in attraction. There was TV show with a women team and a men team in a gym. The women picked one man to be their favorite based on looks and then the men went to work out. Afterwards the men removed their sweaty shirts and ... (read in full...)
We are close to calling it quits. I am asking generally, what works best to resolve marital conflicts?
Q. How usually do people resolve a long standing conflict in a marriage? What is a healthy way to deal with conflict? what doesn't go away by itself? What else is possible to do, than talk about it? Me and my husband are close to ending it, beca...
A. 19 May 2011: There are things that can be resolved, things that can't, such as serious health problems, addictions, and personality problems such as being controlling and disrespectful. Does he tell you to let go because he doesn't care about your feelings, ... (read in full...)
Emotionally scarred by my ex. how do I move on from this?
Q. I want to cut my "ex" from my life completely and its too hard. We live in different country's now but i'm the kind of mug that would jump the next flight out to see him, where as he wouldn't. Its been also 3 years we have been seeing each other, ...
A. 19 May 2011: No more contact for sure. You are actually in different countries so whatever he does to himself you wouldn't know. He could be clubbing right now. He's manipulated you to the point that everything he does in life is because of you. He's probably ... (read in full...)
I've broken up with my partner of eight years - have I done the right thing?
Q. I've recently broken up with my boyfriend of eight years and I can't decide whether to make the split permanent. It took me ages to make the break - he's kind, generous, affectionate, good round the house and he loves me. On the other hand, our sex ...
A. 13 May 2011: You can have it all. Stable relationship, adventurous sex, and kids. Don't let other people influence you that it's not possible. It's normal to be hesitant about a permanent break up but I say here it's better to be single than be with a person ... (read in full...)
I feel inadequate because my boyfriend has more money than me
Q. We met on our year abroad. Ok so for the first five months or so I would always pay half the bill. After sometime when we formally started going out he started to pay more and now I don't pay at all. We live in different countries and meet ...
A. 12 May 2011: You should tell him how much your parents can afford, matter of factly. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. You can express that you feel uncomfortable about him always paying more, but let him know that when you have a career you will divide ... (read in full...)
I can't win.... I already go out of my way to spend more time with her but it never seems enough, what do I do?
Q. I've been with my fiancée for over a year now and lately we've been arguing more. We're both full time students and still live with our parents and I try to spend as many nights as I can at her place. Lately every time I go back to my place to take ...
A. 12 May 2011: She makes it sound like you are her whole world, besides doing homework. She needs to develop her own interests, and pamper herself too. Until she finds value in her life, your time would never be enough. Tell her that your schedule is set and you ... (read in full...)
Is my intuition correct?
Q. ok so ive been dating this woman for a month in a half and all of the sudden she tells me this guy she used to have sex with {just a FWB relationship} keeps texting her and asking to have a threesome..so was she really wanting to do this and we ...
A. 12 May 2011: This woman definitely doesn't hide anything. She does need to develop sensitivity though. Was the threesome for two women one man or two men one woman? In your post although you said you thought you were having a real relationship, you didn't say ... (read in full...)
Looking for advice about my online friendship
Q. I have been sending messages to a man on a dating site ,almost everyday for the past 8 months .We get on well ,last week when i didn't reply to his message ,he sent me a message saying why didn't i reply and if i didn't want to carry on writing just ...
A. 11 May 2011: 8 months is a long time to commit to just writing without expecting anything. I would say he will like you more than friends if you show him first that you want him as more than friends. You are both playing the waiting game with nothing to lose. ... (read in full...)
Is he trying to get revenge after I had sex with someone else? Or does he just not care about me?
Q. I've had a relationship with a guy for about a year and a half now, we have never actually called each other " boyfriend, girlfriend" but when him and I are on good terms, he doesn't mess with other girls and I don't mess with other guys. We have ...
A. 10 May 2011: You aren't official. Your having sex with his friend is confirmation that it's not time to make anything official. When someone is not ready for a relationship, a better solution is to find out the root cause of his resistance, then ease his fears, ... (read in full...)
Does everything need to be close to perfect before you propose?
Q. I am in love with my girlfriend and she says she is in love with me. However, our relationship is not without problems. There are still a few complex issues we are working through with the help of a therapist, some of which are not directly...
A. 9 May 2011: I think you should wait. I don't believe there is a deadline for marriage. When you have to ask then it's not the right time. It should come so naturally. Explain to her that it's not that you don't want to marry, it's just that you are allowing ... (read in full...)
Is she using me as a baby maker?
Q. Here we go, it started early 2009 wen i got my new job, i was a virgin and i met my work mate late that yr (8yrs old than me) let me call her freedom. She stays near my township so we use 2 walk together after work. So i became more attracted 2 her ...
A. 7 May 2011: The age thing is not too much of a concern. There are some women who are torn between two types of men. The comforter provider type and the wild, animal type. A woman prefers the animal type to make babies and the provider type to take care of her ... (read in full...)
I know need to move on, but could someone give me insight into his sporadic behavior?
Q. Hello all, Please can I have your thoughts on the following if possible. Thanks. I dated a guy coming up to a year ago now. All was well, until after a couple of months he turned out to be controlling and nasty. By the time I found this out, I...
A. 7 May 2011: The faster way to move on is not to try to understand him. His sporadic behavior makes you curious. He wants to occupy your mental space. He can't be with you but at least he knows that you are still thinking about him. When you give time and energy ... (read in full...)
Why is my ex trying to make me jealous?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend 2 weeks ago. It ended badly but he wanted remain friends but I said that it wasn't what I wanted and cut all contact. The relationship was 9 months (but we knew eachother for 5 years) and ended because of a mutual frie...
A. 7 May 2011: The relationship obviously was stressful to you but your boyfriend did not see that and was shocked about the breakup. Since you cut all contact with him you didn't give him a chance to talk and resolve problems. He feels nothing he does matters ... (read in full...)
Is it time to dump, date, or do nothing?
Q. I am dating this guy for the past 3 months. I only got divorced 7 months ago after a 13 year marriage and 3 children. To me, my kids are my first priority. I was a stay at home mom until the divorce. I have been working for the past 5 months and ...
A. 5 May 2011: Wanting to marry you does not mean loving you more, or make him marriage material. He is more ready than you are. Some people are just more possessive. I am sure many abusive men marry and also "love" their wives. I think you should take the time ... (read in full...)
I'm angry towards my FWB, but the sex is great. Should I end it?
Q. Hi All. Please can I have some thoughts on the following!! thanks. I am in a FWB situation, and the sex is great. It makes me feel relaxed, happy and good. I am very highly sexed, and this guy is giving me exactly what I need. However, I am not ...
A. 3 May 2011: Does he know that if he stops doing questionable dodgy things then you might consider being his girlfriend?
It feels to me you are looking for more than just sex. Even though it's too early for exclusivity, you still want companionship and you want... (read in full...)
Not sure whether I am right or wrong in this situation...
Q. I feel really upset right now and don't know whether I am justified in feeling this way. Yesterday (for the royal wedding) my boyfriend and I (been together 15 months) got invited to my cousin's bbq. Meanwhile he also got an invite to attend...
A. 30 April 2011: I would be wary of his mood. I would understand feeling disappointed about leaving but grumpy, and fired up? After 4 to 5 hours of partying and still not satisfied? I wouldn't expect my man to always read my mind but I think his words were ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant, he's married but I still wants us to be friends
Q. I got a crush on a bus driver. He plays and teases me every now and again but I never let him know how I felt. One day, I got on his route to go to my college campus and he began telling me his college goals. Next thing I knew, we had more than ...
A. 29 April 2011: He can't be friends with you because he knows you want more than friendship and he can't provide that. Either you are a single mom or your relationship with your boyfriend/husband isn't good, because you have nothing in common. I can't tell from ... (read in full...)
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