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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Am I just thinking too much and putting us both under too much pressure?
Q. I haven't posted to this website for some time. But I feel it's time to write back and thank all those who helped me in the past. Your advice allowed me to make the right decisions and see clearly. And to also provide a safe outlet for expressing my ...
A. 9 September 2011: I am confused about what the real issue is. I think God put you two together to work on self esteem issues. She is a challenge for you to stand up to your real self. Ask her what she likes about you because if she is still with you obviously you ... (read in full...)
Wife says the root of our arguing is that she does not trust me--even tho I have never lied or cheated!!
Q. Hello all. I recently asked for advice about how to renew the spark in a very argumentative marriage. I recently found out some news that explains a lot about the arguing. My wife told me last night that she doesn't trust me. She said she jus...
A. 25 August 2011: At first thought the men broke it off with her. It's her that had commitment issues. So it could be guilt and the fear of punishment of what she did. Anyways I am not sure what she is expressing here. Let the therapist clarify things.... (read in full...)
Wife says the root of our arguing is that she does not trust me--even tho I have never lied or cheated!!
Q. Hello all. I recently asked for advice about how to renew the spark in a very argumentative marriage. I recently found out some news that explains a lot about the arguing. My wife told me last night that she doesn't trust me. She said she jus...
A. 25 August 2011: She needs to tell the therapist the reason why she has trust issues is because two of her engagements were broken off and that crushed her self esteem. The hurtful feelings were never processed and dealt with. The therapist would tell her how to ... (read in full...)
Porn: sometimes it's helpful
Q. I’ve read countless posts about porn. Women saying porn is killing their self-image, ruining their relationships. Men replying that it just goes with the territory, get over it. By and large the women having a problem with porn are young (18-25)....
A. 19 August 2011: Sorry for feeling emotional. I wish I could understand asexual frigid people, men with ED, etc. Did religion screw them up? Do they think being a family mom mean they can't enjoy sex too? Do they marry just for comfort? Is sexual pleasure too much ... (read in full...)
Porn: sometimes it's helpful
Q. I’ve read countless posts about porn. Women saying porn is killing their self-image, ruining their relationships. Men replying that it just goes with the territory, get over it. By and large the women having a problem with porn are young (18-25)....
A. 19 August 2011: Happy place, can't you see that the OP is desiring her, already doing his best but nothing comes out of it. Some how menopause is the cause of a frustrating sex life for a married couple, and also kids and privacy equally became the scapegoat, ... (read in full...)
Porn: sometimes it's helpful
Q. I’ve read countless posts about porn. Women saying porn is killing their self-image, ruining their relationships. Men replying that it just goes with the territory, get over it. By and large the women having a problem with porn are young (18-25)....
A. 19 August 2011: In your article you made it that marriage, routine, and kids did this to you. Now we find out that it's your wife who only enjoyed sex at the beginning if at all. I could be depressed, crying, sick, and I could still get wet and enjoy sex, ... (read in full...)
I've just caught my boyfriend using cybersex chat rooms
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years, the relationship has never lacked anything. We love each other, we don't fight, and we have fun together where ever we are. Here's the problem, during the first year i caught him for ...
A. 18 August 2011: By saying addiction he may want to sound more innocent than he is. Like the internet is doing it to him, he's victimized and had no choice but to look.
If you want to talk to him about it simply express how that makes you feel. Tell him he has the ... (read in full...)
Porn: sometimes it's helpful
Q. I’ve read countless posts about porn. Women saying porn is killing their self-image, ruining their relationships. Men replying that it just goes with the territory, get over it. By and large the women having a problem with porn are young (18-25)....
A. 18 August 2011: Just to check.
Perhaps she's one who says if she has no sex for the rest of her life she couldn't care less?
Perhaps your wife never had a G spot orgasm?
Perhaps she has body image issues?
Does she fake orgasms?
If she never enjoyed sex how can ... (read in full...)
Porn: sometimes it's helpful
Q. I’ve read countless posts about porn. Women saying porn is killing their self-image, ruining their relationships. Men replying that it just goes with the territory, get over it. By and large the women having a problem with porn are young (18-25)....
A. 18 August 2011: It's hard to fantasize with someone who doesn't want sex with you, someone who could never find time in real life. The answer is not porn though. It's just a quick fix. I wish you could do something before all your kids turn 18, or worse, before you ... (read in full...)
Porn: sometimes it's helpful
Q. I’ve read countless posts about porn. Women saying porn is killing their self-image, ruining their relationships. Men replying that it just goes with the territory, get over it. By and large the women having a problem with porn are young (18-25)....
A. 18 August 2011: No Tilly, if the wife arranges once or twice a year for sex otherwise she doesn't want to do it, you have to wonder if she really loves him. I think it's amazing that the OP still sticks around in the marriage.... (read in full...)
How to handle crossing the line?
Q. I've been seeing a girl for several months now who I absolutely love and even live together with. She has many guy friends and has always been very open about things with them and has never hidden that some of them have romantic interests with ...
A. 17 August 2011: So you are saying if your female friend sent you a gift you would thank her and stop being her friend? Either the friendship becomes too awkward or one person gets hurt. Perhaps your girlfriend can handle this well and have good self control. I ... (read in full...)
Does this woman only want me as a FWB?
Q. My girlfriend is incredibly selfless,kind and would do anything she could do for someone. We have had this friends with benefits type of relationship. She has a family ( Dad,sister,brother) and keeps that part of her life separate from me and pretty ...
A. 16 August 2011: I am not sure what other kinds of signals she has given you. She can be snooping because she knows you want more and you might look for another woman. If that's the case she gets relief and she will look for another FWB. I am not sure if being ... (read in full...)
She dumped me, I am still jealous and obsessed with her
Q. Right, well I'm not really sure what category to place this in because there are three portions to my problem; self-esteem, grief and romantic. And I'm not sure there is an answer. But some independent advice on any of the aspects may help. So ...
A. 16 August 2011: Dump is a strong word. It implies you are not good enough. It didn't work out and it would never work out because of distance. Some people know from the beginning they can't handle an LDR and they turn off emotionally. You on the other hand risked ... (read in full...)
Am I just thinking too much and putting us both under too much pressure?
Q. I haven't posted to this website for some time. But I feel it's time to write back and thank all those who helped me in the past. Your advice allowed me to make the right decisions and see clearly. And to also provide a safe outlet for expressing my ...
A. 15 August 2011: I've seen people who had been hospitalized for bi polar disorder. Then they decided they don't want to go on medications for life. They figured there has to be a reason for the suffering. The pain is actually a healing process. What they need is ... (read in full...)
He's trying to move on, but he's not there yet. Should I move on?
Q. Been dating a man for about 4 months. He has been divorced for 2 years, I've never been married. We have really hit it off, and have had really wonderful dates together....constantly texting...have long telephone conversations several times a ...
A. 15 August 2011: Every single man is in between relationships and is afraid of intimacy at the beginning. If you move on every time just because a man says these classic lines then you will be single forever. What you should respond is you enjoy spending time with ... (read in full...)
Do I ask him the hard questions or do I wait?
Q. I've been seeing my boyfriend for almost a year. I know he cares for me. I've seen his reactions (concern and almost fear of losing me) when he thinks I'm upset about something. He said he loves me (once)and I believe it. After a recent ...
A. 15 August 2011: The easiest way to make a man feel you are his number one is to tell him how happy you are with him, how your life is being enriched by him. Men really depend on us to know whether we are on the right track or not.... (read in full...)
Need help Advice Pls: How to break up and leave an Aries BF?
Q. First, I am still in love with my aries Boyfriend. He's 36 and I am 28. We have dated for 1.6 years striaght but on and off for 2years. But we fight so much and pick fights over everything, and this is NOT new. We have broken up a few times in the ...
A. 15 August 2011: First of all I have seen very responsible, family oriented Aries. But I have had no luck with them in my life.
I left my Aries ex husband and went to another city. Never saw him again.
I understand how you still care for your ex but I have no ... (read in full...)
Am I just thinking too much and putting us both under too much pressure?
Q. I haven't posted to this website for some time. But I feel it's time to write back and thank all those who helped me in the past. Your advice allowed me to make the right decisions and see clearly. And to also provide a safe outlet for expressing my ...
A. 15 August 2011: Again, you try to hope that this is a cultural shock, a family custom passed on to her that makes her a quarrelsome person. Her mom is trying to patch you up by saying she did the same thing to her husband. If you withdraw her visa it would be a ... (read in full...)
Am I just thinking too much and putting us both under too much pressure?
Q. I haven't posted to this website for some time. But I feel it's time to write back and thank all those who helped me in the past. Your advice allowed me to make the right decisions and see clearly. And to also provide a safe outlet for expressing my ...
A. 15 August 2011: Hi I am sorry I was wrong. The relationship wasn't fake. She has terrible mood swings and you can't just expect her to act like a normal supportive girlfriend. I am not sure what she needs now. She definitely wants your love and understanding and I ... (read in full...)
We have a great relationship all around--so why does he need to watch porn??
Q. Hi, I am trying to understand why my bf watches porn and would like your insights. We've been together 1 yr, and everything is great:) We have told each other we love each other. I love spending time hanging out with him, we share interests, make ...
A. 14 August 2011: I watch porn because I am a visual person and I get a reaction. None of the guys are as good as my boyfriend. I still watch it. Time and time I know I will be disappointed again but occasionally there are actors who surprise me. The majority of porn ... (read in full...)
Wife says the root of our arguing is that she does not trust me--even tho I have never lied or cheated!!
Q. Hello all. I recently asked for advice about how to renew the spark in a very argumentative marriage. I recently found out some news that explains a lot about the arguing. My wife told me last night that she doesn't trust me. She said she jus...
A. 14 August 2011: She knows something is missing but doesn't know what it is. A marriage, a baby, did not ease her sense of emptiness. There is nothing wrong at all in the relationship. There is always the possibility of a failing relationship. The fear of something ... (read in full...)
Why am I falling out of love with my girlfriend?
Q. I used to be so in love even obsessed with her. We have been together for 6 or 7 years ever since high school. We don't kiss or touch as much anymore and hardly ever have sex anymore, romance is fleeting I really love her but don't know what to do. ...
A. 14 August 2011: I see that gay marriages are becoming common but it still takes more determination than heterosexual marriages. The average family will find it hard to accept a daughter being a sexual minority. A relationship requires growth. Without direction a ... (read in full...)
Is this how the average relationship works or am I just not ready to be committed?
Q. So I have been "with" my boyfriend for a little over four months now. I say "with" because a little over a month ago we had broken up but we are still actively talking/dating, it almost feels like we are still together. (Complicated, I know.) ...
A. 14 August 2011: There are many relationship models you have to find one that works for you. A relationship has its unique challenges but this guy is going to give you a panic attack one day. You have to set boundaries and you can refuse to talk when it reaches a ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with this online guy who seems to want nothing but sex?
Q. Okay so I met this guy online through a dating site, he seemed nice but never really spoke about himself much, which always bothered me, then we chatted online with web cam but he wouldn't let me hear his voice at first, later he told me he doesn't ...
A. 14 August 2011: There are young guys who wants friendship. A good dating site has a few different categories you can choose from: friends, hang out, dating, relationship, and intimate encounter. You have to be aware that some people have different accounts, people ... (read in full...)
Does he like me or is he a player?
Q. Confusing situation. I have been living in a rural rental property for acouple of years. At the beginning I developed a bit of a crush on my landlord. He said he was single but I think as soon as he started to see that I liked him he mentioned this ...
A. 13 August 2011: He is a player because he lied to you as he lied to his wife and his long distance girlfriend. He can be a player and still like you, but in a limited way. ... (read in full...)
Would you date a girl who had many sugar daddies??
Q. So I met this girl. Real pretty. Grew up in Europe (Czech Rep.). Dated a few times. Then she tells me about her sugar daddies. For those who dont know a sugar daddy is an older man who gives money to young women in exchange for sexual favors. ...
A. 12 August 2011: There are sugar daddies everywhere in the world. They are popular among teen models who need lavish accessories and a lifestyle they can't afford on their own.
She went through 4 sugar daddies on average in a year. It would raise a question of why ... (read in full...)
I feel I botched it with a great guy. Now I am lost. Now what?
Q. I met a guy and felt something towards him instantly but time was never right. This year we decided to get closer but seems I was insecure about him because of his playful history even though he said he is no more playing. He also complained about ...
A. 12 August 2011: You attached to much important on this guy. He's just like any other guy who's unavailable to you. You don't know if he's that great in real life, although he left you with a great impression and sometimes our minds do tricks on us thinking that he ... (read in full...)
I miss how we used to be....is there any way to make it good again?
Q. Basically i have been with my partner for 11 months and we are only young, but i really do love him. Recently i cant help but feeling that the relationship is dry, and i always think about how we used to be, compared to now, it really gets me down. ...
A. 12 August 2011: It's the routine and boring things that keep the connection alive. I don't think anyone could function if they stay up until 5 for years. What are your biggest fears? Face them. If the relationship is plain and dry? What would happen? We all hear ... (read in full...)
Why isn't he doing the little things like kissing and forgiving me?
Q. Should I stay or go? I have on and off (more on) with my bf for about 18 mos. now. He s divorced and has full custody of his kids one girl 4 and one boy who is almost 2. He works alot and sometimes it seems that he just don't have the time I need ...
A. 12 August 2011: Some people need more time to heal than others. Perhaps he feels you are not right for each other. If you cheated recently it shows that you are not ready for starting your own family either. If you can accept that he has baggage and would be ... (read in full...)
Am I just thinking too much and putting us both under too much pressure?
Q. I haven't posted to this website for some time. But I feel it's time to write back and thank all those who helped me in the past. Your advice allowed me to make the right decisions and see clearly. And to also provide a safe outlet for expressing my ...
A. 12 August 2011: My brother got married the traditional Chinese way. It is rare nowadays.
You are thinking A LOT. The issues circle around does she love me does she love me not. She loves you being nice to her, she loves that you put on a show in front of her pare... (read in full...)
Why can’t I just think YES - for better or worse – if the man I love starts talking about marriage?
Q. My boyfriend is divorced with one child. When I met him I didn’t want to date him (he approached me first) because I prefer men who have not been married before, as I have not been married before. I had never dated a divorced guy before him so the ...
A. 12 August 2011: He has financial issues and that's a big assertive reason for saying no, and not because he has baggage. I can think of many positive things about this once married man. He has experience, the maturity to deal with life's ups and downs. He has the ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend afraid of love?
Q. I think my boyfriend is afraid of love. He will be so into me for a few days, and just during the height of things he will start acting funny. One day he will say he loves me, the next he will say he doesn't know. Whenever I start to get really ...
A. 11 August 2011: The problem with talking is that whenever you make an absolute statement, the opposite can be true also. To argue towards one statement to proof a point won't do any good. Let him go back and forth, then one day he will exhaust himself and just ... (read in full...)
Can I find out somehow if my b/f has joined an online hook up site?
Q. When my bf looks at porn on the computer he is always sure to delete the history. I don't mind that he looks and masterbates as long as it doesn't take away from our sex life. But in the past he has been known to not tell me little things so when i ...
A. 11 August 2011: Yes there is. Exactly I don't know how. It's called a cookie tracker software. You have to insert it in his computer and you will see everything he sees on your computer, even chats.
I highly discourage you from doing this. Some one did it to me a... (read in full...)
Should I see a future with this guy, or break up with him?
Q. We've been going out for 2 years and 1 month already but he'll be going to college in 3 days while I still need 2 more years of high school. He says he won't cheat on me because he loves me, and he could if he wanted to because he's had many chances ...
A. 11 August 2011: The temptation to cheat in college is not greater than in real life, in real marriages. It can be just as likely that girls cheat in high school so he could have the same worries. You shouldn't break up with him. Always give yourself one more ... (read in full...)
Every time I have sex with my new boyfriend, I can't help but cry because I still think of my ex...
Q. I've been going out with a classmate of mine for about 2 months now, and we've been sexually active lately. Now, a couple months ago I had a terrible breakup with my ex for 2 years. I've known my ex longer than that because we were originally best ...
A. 11 August 2011: You gave yourself to this new guy because you want love right now and you hope that the sex would replace the loving feeling you had lost. Unfortunately it didn't. For you sex is associated with love and since you are not sure if you love the new ... (read in full...)
My partner walked out and now I'm worried about how it is affecting our children....
Q. iv recently broke up with my boyfriend, im really worried about our oldest hes 4 and seems very quiet constantly staring into space, hes usually a outgoing little thing, i feel for him as hes used to going to bed getting up and seeing his dad before ...
A. 11 August 2011: He isn't much happier at his friends. That's for sure. If the arguing is about the kids then I can guarantee you he is not going to permanently break up with you and start a relationship with another woman who would go through the same problem with ... (read in full...)
My partner walked out and now I'm worried about how it is affecting our children....
Q. iv recently broke up with my boyfriend, im really worried about our oldest hes 4 and seems very quiet constantly staring into space, hes usually a outgoing little thing, i feel for him as hes used to going to bed getting up and seeing his dad before ...
A. 10 August 2011: There is no such thing as a perfect family because children has insatiable needs that parents can't give. Your partner is probably sleeping at his friends, or parents, or he rented a room at a hotel. He may have unrealistic expectations of what a ... (read in full...)
I slept with my ex boyfriends friend and it's destroyed his head
Q. I was in an abusive relationship for 7 years and i tried to leave 6 times, but as it goes with abusive relationships, that's how it is. I finerly managed to brake free 8 weeks after my daughter was born but had not left the family home until the ...
A. 10 August 2011: You were broken up, so technically it's not cheating but your ex felt it as a true betrayal, especially it's with his friend. His friend doesn't love you, and I am sure you don't love him. You didn't mean to hurt him but subconsciously I think you ... (read in full...)
I made my boyfriend change for me but I'm not sure if it will ever be enough.....
Q. I don't know how clearly I can explain this because it doesn't make that much sense to me but i'll try my best. A lot has happened during the last 5 years of my relationship, he has cheated on me a few times, broken up and gotten back ...the usua...
A. 10 August 2011: When you said you made your boyfriend change, does that mean stopping his cheating ways, or some personality make over? Did the cheating happen out of the blue or after some argument that made him think it was over? What you are missing here is fun ... (read in full...)
How do I start to trust my husband again? Or how do I start to put all this to the back of my mind?
Q. I discovered my husband was using chat lines for sexual reasons. He was chatting to various women about sex and looking at their photos. He even bought a webcam! I know this side of things was pure fantasy (I've asked advice from male colleagues) ...
A. 10 August 2011: This is not so much a trust issue as his erectile dysfunction.
Him being angry is a way to stop you from confronting issues and to gain authority over you. You are real in his life and you know his problems. Those online people don't and he need... (read in full...)
He won't marry me. Should I issue an ultimatum?
Q. Okay, I made a mistake by moving in with my boyfriend, but the damage is done and if anyone can help me, I would appreciate it. Basically, I want to get married and he does not. I have been with him for four years, and have lived with him for thr...
A. 9 August 2011: You should never take that personally and as an insult. He doesn't feel like a husband if he doesn't have a job. I believe he does love you and respects you. Without a stable income he is not going to be happy in a marriage anyway and unfortunately ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend dumped me but still wants to be friends. I can't because I'm still in love with him
Q. Why wont my ex boyfriend let us part ways? he wont let me go:(? My ex bf dumped me saying he doesn't want a relationship. He broke my heart. I loved him so much. Is been 4months now and he won't leave me alone. No matter how long we go ...
A. 9 August 2011: I see this happening all the time but in fact men are scared of intimacy and they think that breaking up is the only way to get space and to cool off. What you do is to not contact him, not talk about the break up. Occasionally talk about your life ... (read in full...)
Do I need prior experience to get and maintain a romantic relationship?
Q. I don't have prior experience in a romantic relationship. A friend of mine advice me to go on some "practice" dating, to get to know the field so to speak, before reaching for a the real thing. So when the right lady comes along I'll have the know...
A. 9 August 2011: In my experience, men who had played the field can still be very clueless as to understanding women. Every woman is different. You get practice with each person. You get to know what this particular person needs. In general, women like flowers, they ... (read in full...)
Am I going to end up hurt by my older man?
Q. I've been dating a 39 year old man (I'm 24) for 2 weeks now and last night we had our first little discussion about 'us'. Nothing too major as its too soon for that, but a few things he said concerned me and now my question is am I going to end up ...
A. 8 August 2011: He worries that he is the one being hurt here because you seem to have more options. You can have kids now if you want to, you can wait to have Mr. Perfect, you can also choose to be single. You have to think about what you want too. Do you see ... (read in full...)
Can't stop having sex with this ugly girl. HELP!!!
Q. Right now I am currently married. The relationship has fizzled out the last few years. For the past 2 and a half years I have been having sex with this girl Jamie. Shes my age and has a daughter. The problem is that she is got a nice body but she is ...
A. 6 August 2011: Your wife definitely is prettier than the other one yet you don't want sex with her, so I wonder what kind of problem you could have.
When you are dealing with a fling, people can say whatever they want, such as they want a relationship, then don'... (read in full...)
Why is my wife so angry at a former friend for seeing one of my wife's exes?
Q. A few months ago I overheard my wife talking to her friend about a guy, saying he was complete loser, very sleazy and dishonest, no career, self-centered, cheated on women, a complete phony, etc. I then realized they were talking about one of my ...
A. 4 August 2011: There are two possibilities. What if her friend is having a good time with this guy then that would negate everything your wife said about him. The other one is that your wife sees herself in her friend and was angry that the loser is about to do ... (read in full...)
Can't stop having sex with this ugly girl. HELP!!!
Q. Right now I am currently married. The relationship has fizzled out the last few years. For the past 2 and a half years I have been having sex with this girl Jamie. Shes my age and has a daughter. The problem is that she is got a nice body but she is ...
A. 4 August 2011: The guilt and the lies are far more uglier. Find out why your relationship fizzled out and see what can be done. Your last question, yes, there are weird fetishes that's why there is all kinds of porn on the net. For God's sake if you are not having ... (read in full...)
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