A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes: I have been seeing a man who has had his share of heartache not only through his children, but through his two marriages, both of which were fairly long term ( 22 years for the first and 6 for the second). He and I have an obvious chemistry, however, he blows hot and cold. One minute, he wants a relationship and the next he only wants to be friends without the intimacy. He even so much as said that he is in love with a ghost (meaning his second ex-wife who took him for a lot of money..how he can be in love with someone who is rotten to him is beyond me.) Further, he is always asking for my opinion on things (most recently about a purchase of a vintage car he's been eyeing for quite some time), texts just to say, "Hi, thinking about you," and does seem to pay attention to things I say. The question I pose is this, should I just hang in there and hope he comes around to having a truly fulfilling relationship, or do I just remain friends? Would a man care what your opinion is as well as humor you with what you like (I asked him to grow his mustache and goatee back to see what it looked like and he did!)if he just wanted to be friends? It's hard for me to second guess this one...is he interested in a relationship or just friends?
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female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (24 May 2011):
You tell him that a true fulfilling relationship is what you want. A boyfriend is a lover, a friend, a protector all in one. He is free to be with whomever but if he is with you, you want it to be exclusive. Having chemistry is good. Now the next step is to figure out how much he is willing to give to you. He might not have that much to give after that last divorce. You shouldn't be hanging in there because there are men who are ready to give what you are looking for.
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