A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why do i like the idea of seeing a guy secretly? Normally if I'm just texting a guy or seeing someone, i always tell my friends. Literally anything to do with a guy i will tell them!! But recently, I've decided that i like keeping it to myself and seeing how things go with the guy before saying anything to them and i like it this way. I think that if the guy did become my boyfriend, i would still want to keep it fairly low profile.It's weird because I've always been the person who loves to share and tell people about pretty much everything that happens in my life! Especially guy related!!? Yet I'm enjoying knowing that nobody else but me knows. It's nice this way and i prefer it... Why is that, why the sudden change do you think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2011): One reason is to assert independence. Sometimes shared information implies shared ownership and group accountability. It invites unsolicited advice from others.
Keeping things to yourself allows you to explore new possibilities instead of just continuing to do what the group expects of you.
A
female
reader, kylieekristina  +, writes (29 May 2011):
 Maybe you don't want any outside opinions steering you in a direction that you wouldnt end up on your own. That' part of growing up.
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A
female
reader, Little Miss Love  +, writes (29 May 2011):
 most people will find that their favorite part of a relation ship is the "chase," because its full of flirting and you feel all loved up, and by keeping him secret you are holding on to that sort of on edge bit but in a differnt way :) it makes it more special and fun
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2011): Keeping things to yourself is not always a bad thing, you have the right to keep secrets, everybody has them trust me.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (28 May 2011):
 I think that you might be feeling the relief of not having all your friends put their input into your relationship. This way you can be with the guy and not have your friends asking so many questions.
As we grow up I think we drift away from wanting all of our friends and the rest of the world to know about our relationships. We get to the point where we want to be in the relationship alone so that you can figure it out with minimal background noise.
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A
female
reader, muso888 +, writes (28 May 2011):
I was like you, until my current boyfriend. Sometimes something is so delicious you have to keep it to your self to fully enjoy it. Maybe it's just growing up! I hope you continue to enjoy what ever happens with this guy :)
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (28 May 2011):
 Talking to your female friends about boyfriends is too much of a common thing to do. You want to make your relationship a special one, a one that's better than the others. You also don't want your friends' opinion to affect how you think about the guy. It's a sign that you value this guy, and he's more than just a conversational topic. I don't really see this as a secret
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