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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Can't stop having sex with this ugly girl. HELP!!!
Q. Right now I am currently married. The relationship has fizzled out the last few years. For the past 2 and a half years I have been having sex with this girl Jamie. Shes my age and has a daughter. The problem is that she is got a nice body but she is ...
A. 6 August 2011: Your wife definitely is prettier than the other one yet you don't want sex with her, so I wonder what kind of problem you could have.
When you are dealing with a fling, people can say whatever they want, such as they want a relationship, then don'... (read in full...)
Can't stop having sex with this ugly girl. HELP!!!
Q. Right now I am currently married. The relationship has fizzled out the last few years. For the past 2 and a half years I have been having sex with this girl Jamie. Shes my age and has a daughter. The problem is that she is got a nice body but she is ...
A. 4 August 2011: The guilt and the lies are far more uglier. Find out why your relationship fizzled out and see what can be done. Your last question, yes, there are weird fetishes that's why there is all kinds of porn on the net. For God's sake if you are not having ... (read in full...)
What does it mean for a relationship to 'move forward'?
Q. Yo so I got a question. My girl broke up with me last week because she says our relationship wasnt movin forward. I asked what that meant, I asked if it meant she wanted me to propose marriage. She said no, she didnt mean that, it was just that the ...
A. 4 August 2011: So her solution to that is stop moving at all? As if breaking up will make you realize what to do?
You have to let her know that it takes two to make a relationship work. Although you are in love you are not a mind reader. Perhaps she is scar... (read in full...)
Which is considered more attractive - quiet or cocky? I can be both
Q. I'm a bit stuck. I don't want anyone to answer 'just be yourself', because it isn't that simple. I'm only 18 and still haven't really discovered myself. Sometimes I can be bubbly and confident [if perhaps a little annoying], and other times, deadly ...
A. 4 August 2011: Quiet doesn't mean boring. It's important to leave a good impression on the first date. Even if you don't dominate the whole conversation, make the best jokes, at least you have to have a lot to share about yourself. See if you can do this genuinely ... (read in full...)
Parents found the naughty texts I sent to my boyfriend. Help!
Q. I've just asked a recent question about this same problem but things are seeming to get a little out of hand. So... i recently sent some naughty texts to my boyfriend, my mum checked my phone because she said she knew something was going on, she ...
A. 3 August 2011: Your parents are being protective of you. They are not angry because we all went through this and unluckily some people make bad mistakes. They understand this is a part of growing up but it only takes a condom to break to change the course of your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a 19 year old pregnant girl on his hands. What next for our relationship?
Q. So, things are bad and I find myself wishing I hadn't started this mess. I am crazy in love. I have been with this man for 9 months now and I spend almost everyday with him. Needless to say, I'm attached. He is also in love with me. Problem is m...
A. 2 August 2011:
How long is he keeping that secret or is the girl keeping that secret?
It looks like an overlapping relationship here, if he had not been cheating.
I don't care if it was a stupid drunken mistake, he should try to have a relationship... (read in full...)
Is he pulling the wool over my eyes and I'm ignoring these red flags because I care about him? Should I just contact his ex to get her side of the story?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 7 months. Like normal couples, we have our petty fights from time to time and have the usual annoyances of living day in, day out with one another, but I truly care about him and after all we have been through, ...
A. 2 August 2011: Your boyfriend is keeping the messages secret not because he has something to hide, but because he doesn't want to make it a bigger issue. At first he was giving her advice, trying to get closure but she used that as an excuse to see him more and ... (read in full...)
Cut off all ties or remain "friends"?
Q. This one is going to be a bit long and thanks for reading and offering any suggestions/advice. I am divorced for three years and after having been in a sexless marriage for too long, I was excited about the opportunities that awaited as a single m...
A. 2 August 2011: I am in the same situation. When sex is too good, there will be problems staying broken up.
Tell her as long as she keeps contact with her ex, you can't totally open up to her. Ask her what her intentions are, what is she getting out of. Is it the ... (read in full...)
I just discovered that my wife has been living a secret life, plz help!
Q. My problem is this, i am/or was a happily married man of 22yrs w/3children. We had what i would consider very minor and infrequent everyday life problems that u plow thru as a married couple, like kids,money, etc... I recently discovered that when ...
A. 28 July 2011: When you ask open ended questions such as who is this guy and what did you do you are not going to get anywhere. Show her that you already knew what's going on but not reacting strongly to it, just acknowledge that you feel distance between you and ... (read in full...)
Want to rekindle relationship with ex but she now just wants to be friends. What to do??
Q. Hi, To make this as short as possible, I was with my girlfriend for a year and I was a real jerk to her, I wasn't showing her love or caring for her most of the time. After 1 year I came to my senses and realized what a jerk I was and a...
A. 27 July 2011: Think of everything in a different light. When she says she hates all men, she really means she would love it if men behaved like . . . . I would say more consistent, loving, caring, men who can handle his own emotions, etc.
When she says she want... (read in full...)
Do I tell my boyfriend how badly depressed I am?
Q. We've been going out for awhile, but he's not used to me sharing emotional issues. Or knowing how to comfort them. I appear happy and normal to him. Inside, my depression is very severe. When we dont see each other, it's even worse. I feel...
A. 27 July 2011: Yes share it with him but be prepared that he won't know how to make you feel better and he will feel helpless. You have to tell him that just by listening you will feel better. What will help is if you tell him what will make you feel better, what ... (read in full...)
How do I talk about sex with a man who was sexually abused by his father?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am dating a guy that told me he had been sexually abused by his dad. I knew he didn't have a great relationship with his family, but he brought it up in a strange context. We were in bed after he had stopped me from going down on ...
A. 27 July 2011: Men don't like being analyzed. It makes them think they have a problem. Well he does have a problem and if it has to be solved, that person won't be you. Your role is to be a supporter, and not an authority figure because his father was his ... (read in full...)
After this, do you think I will hear from him again??
Q. Me and a guy i knew from school (we're 24 now) used to have a casual thing when we were both single. I'd never done "casual" sex before and after a while i began to have feelings for him. At one point i told him that i didn't think i could be casual ...
A. 26 July 2011: Yes you will hear from him again. Basically you are waiting for each other to say no, ever again but your passion is betraying your decisions. If you are sure you can't handle casual, then you don't want to hear from him again. You should not ... (read in full...)
We have been in touch again for 7 months...why does he keep coming back to me?
Q. I know this guy who said that he wanted to be friends with benefits with me.i met him in the place he works at last year,and ended up finding out that we went to the same school.we knew each other a little at school.he is two years older than me.his ...
A. 23 July 2011: It's called "you never know if you don't try." Some people would do anything when they are going through a dry spell. Nothing he said to you gives you a good reason why you want to meet him again. At least he is being honest and not deceptive. That ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to choose between him and my dad
Q. I accidently sent my bf a text that was meant for my sister, discussing what my dad had said about my boyfriend and how i should take a university place at the other end of the country because it would get me away from my boyfriend. and I ended up ...
A. 22 July 2011: If both universities are on the same prestigious level, there is no reason to move away, unless your father refuses to fund your education if you choose to stay in your area. You can tell your dad you decided to end contact with this guy because you ... (read in full...)
Separated from a 'soul mate' (the one that got away)
Q. I knew there was something special about this person from the first time I saw him. Call it love or lust at first sight, call it what you will but it was only until recently I began to think of the term 'Soul mate'. Subsequently after first meeting ...
A. 22 July 2011: I believe in soul mates, many of them in my life. If he was your one and only soul mate, he can't get away, and if he did, he's not really your soul mate. The definition of a soul mate, for me, is that there is some divine intervention that brings ... (read in full...)
Need guy advice: How can I keep my man interested in me?
Q. To all guys out there: Can you give me tips on how I can keep my man interested with me? I know and feel that he is in love with me and he says it all the time. We are together now for a year and we are still very much in love with each other....
A. 22 July 2011: If your relationship is already great, my advice is to stop looking for potential problems. This site has great advice, insight but you have to separate your problems from other people's problems. One bad thing from visiting this site too often is ... (read in full...)
Should I purposely not answer his calls every other day?
Q. Hello Cupid! Recently, I befriended this guy who shares everything in common with me. We are both from the same state, love seafood, comedy and share an affinity for basketball to name a few. If our lives weren't constantly on-the-go, we co...
A. 22 July 2011: At first I would suspect that just talking would put you in a friend zone and nothing more. But I always think that guys are not great talkers and few of them can handle conversations longer than 15 minutes. For a young guy to continue talking to ... (read in full...)
How do I make him see that I am different to other girls and I wont hurt him?
Q. hi everyone so this is my problem me and this man have been having sex for the past 4 months we have just started sending each other dirty pictures and texts we get on really well even though he is 10 years older than me. he has never slept with ...
A. 22 July 2011: Every one is scared of entering a relationship whether they had been hurt badly or not. I am not sure if this is really a valid reason or just an excuse. I would not do or say anything to convince him. To do so is to make him think you are more ... (read in full...)
I hardly trust anyone! I don't want to be scared anymore...
Q. Hello. I have a problem: i cant trust people. I have several reasons for this, many things have happened over the years and i think its quite normal that after all of this i dont have confidence in no one except God, not even in me. 1. My f...
A. 22 July 2011: I think the most disconcerting thing is that people say one thing and do another. Even normal people without past trauma do that. To love is to accept that for whatever reason there is a possibility the relationship is going to end one day. Your mom ... (read in full...)
Is it too much to expect the man who wants to marry me to treat me to a gift once-in-a-while?
Q. I’m trying to figure something out concerning my relationship with my boyfriend of two years. We don’t live in the same town and see each other at weekends. We get along well, he does housework, he cooks, he calls me in his lunch hour just to say h...
A. 21 July 2011: This simple question leads to bigger ones in the future. If he can't buy you a $200 necklace, do you think he would want more kids with you and spend gifts on them too? A stingy man calculates and tests how much or how little he has to give to get ... (read in full...)
Why does she ignore me and distance herself if she loves me so much?
Q. I have been seeing this girl for around 2 years. We are both in our mid to late 20´s. The relationship started after we met on our way to work for a long long time. She was seeing someone else at the time which i didnt know about but i thought sh...
A. 21 July 2011: Because she thinks there is still a possibility she would get back with her ex but she will say enough sweet things just to keep you there in case her ex doesn't want her.... (read in full...)
Can't get over 4 year relationship, feeling depressed and lonely. Help.
Q. Hi everyone. It is me again. I just keep asking for help. Don't I ;) Well the problem is the same. But with a new symptom now. It is the 6th month since she dumped me after a relation of 4 years for another guy in only 10 days after my departur...
A. 18 July 2011: I read your profile. You immigrated and she decided to stay, maybe because she is strictly religious and fear that living in the USA would "corrupt" her? Sometimes love is not enough to keep a relationship together if you don't see eye to eye. I bet ... (read in full...)
How do you overcome and push past relationship and commitment fears?
Q. How do you overcome and push past relationship and commitment fears? Because I really want to, but whenever i feel i'm getting close to a guy, i guard myself and start pushing him away. I try not to do it, but most of the time i do it subconsciously ...
A. 18 July 2011: We all want relationships and independence at the same time. Don't think there is anything wrong with you. Whenever you feel like disconnecting, do it gently and gracefully and tell him this weekeend no good but you would love to see him again next ... (read in full...)
Can't get over 4 year relationship, feeling depressed and lonely. Help.
Q. Hi everyone. It is me again. I just keep asking for help. Don't I ;) Well the problem is the same. But with a new symptom now. It is the 6th month since she dumped me after a relation of 4 years for another guy in only 10 days after my departur...
A. 18 July 2011: The reason why it's hard to get over it is because there is no closure (not saying you need one) and that you believed you were not loved. My understanding of this is that you broke up because a long distance love is not worth it for her. I assume ... (read in full...)
On relationships: The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Q. The following was forwarded to me by a member of my church. It is adapated from a book: "Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work" I believe its worth passing on: "Dr. John gottman can predict with 96% accuracy within the first three minu...
A. 17 July 2011: Eh, the first 3 minutes of conversation with my boyfriend was about sex and what we look like, on the phone. We are together for 3 years. We have our downfall in our communication styles but are learning to improve. I learn that whenever I get angry ... (read in full...)
He ended it because of his jobs and his son, but he still watches me?
Q. hi everyone! so heres my problem, im a single mum to a 2 year old. i met a man 4 month ago who has a 8 year old son. i really like this man. we started dating in march for 8 weeks and i started getting feelings for him until he told me he didnt have ...
A. 16 July 2011: No time for you bullshit. If he doesn't have time then why bother looking for women to date? He is teasing you with romantic emails. Tease him back by flirting with him until he's frustrated with blue balls that he can't get the real thing. The ... (read in full...)
Is a sexless marriage common or should I do something about it?
Q. I have been reading a lots of different opinions on sexless marriages.Some says it is very common after long term marriage, that the marriage becomes sexless, for different reasons. And couples just keep living together sometimes a whole decade ...
A. 16 July 2011: The only thing you do about it is have sex and tell your husband you still love him. If you go several months without sex, that sex will become fresh again. Your partner is not the same person from months before. Train yourself to look at him as if ... (read in full...)
We weren't together at the time, I didnt see the harm...how can I reassure him?
Q. I love my boyfriend so much. We're only seventeen but have been together for almost a year and a half. We broke up for about two months near the start of the year and both saw other people during that time. We broke up basically because we argued so ...
A. 16 July 2011: If you love him enough, you can withstand peer pressure to drink and just explain to your friends and why you couldn't. For people who tell you it's rude to refuse a drink, to hell with them. Call him few times that night to make sure he is feeling ... (read in full...)
So what do guys really want?
Q. So what do guys really want? last night I went out with my friends to a pub/club and they were projecting music videos. Of course as "club music" videos go, they all had "hot" girls in them with skimpy clothes. My guy friends were all commenting ...
A. 16 July 2011: You must not take what they say literally. Love is a universal need. A man wants a woman who needs them, who is comfortable with herself. Men also say things they don't mean. The reason you have this question is because young men usually don't know ... (read in full...)
Relationship ended badly, is it possible to salvage a friendship?
Q. So I lost my girlfriend about a month ago. It didnt end too well. She told me that we didnt have room in each others lives and that she has issues that she should have dealt with before getting me involved. It wasnt seeming very clear and I asked ...
A. 16 July 2011: Her actions are like a little girl trying to avoid responsibility to authority figures (such as parents) and therefore running away. You can make her feel safe to express herself by accepting what is. That she needs time and you are not pressuring ... (read in full...)
Ex wants me back after I met someone new!
Q. My ex and I have a little boy together. We went on a break 6 months ago because we were not getting along. He wanted some distance and I was hurt badly by this response. I thought I would never get over my ex. Now I have met a new guy and I was ...
A. 16 July 2011: If it takes him 6 months to sort things out, then it takes 6 months. To love is to risk feeling hurt. The only way to be sure is to be single and lonely. This new guy is a rebound guy. Just because he says he is ready to commit does not mean he ... (read in full...)
I always wonder if I am doing something wrong in the relationship, or am I with the wrong man?
Q. My boyfriend had mentioned that he is bothered because I seem analytical and cold. I am very affectionate. I give him hugs. I tell him I love him. I asked him why he is bothered by me being analytical. He said he couldn't tell me. Do men just expect ...
A. 15 July 2011: It was a night with full moon so my emotions were crazy. I started to ask him where we stood and he said he was unsure. I reacted strongly to that. We were bickering back and forth and I made a lot of complaints about him. Me being analytical ... (read in full...)
I always wonder if I am doing something wrong in the relationship, or am I with the wrong man?
Q. My boyfriend had mentioned that he is bothered because I seem analytical and cold. I am very affectionate. I give him hugs. I tell him I love him. I asked him why he is bothered by me being analytical. He said he couldn't tell me. Do men just expect ...
A. 14 July 2011: He does not flirt with other women. I am analytical on everything, not just relationships. I was secure up until he broke up with me three times and got back with me three times. The reasons were ambiguous and they change each time. When I tried to ... (read in full...)
There's something wrong when my fiance isn't coming home until dawn is breaking
Q. I have been with my fiancee for over 5 years. I love her, and couldn't imagine my life without her. That isn't to say we aren't without our problems. Our most pressing issue is that we work different schedules. I'm an attorney, and she's in the ...
A. 11 July 2011: I can imagine a life without her. You are already without her. She is married to her career and life after career. Maybe I am biased. I won't bother with drinkers, I won't bother to reason with them and change them. You should have said something ... (read in full...)
Is it too late to be his friend?
Q. Hi, I'm in a bit of a dilemma and wondering if it's possible not to change a man, but to change the way he feels about situations. Or is this never going to work and and should I accept that, and deal with it. Besides I think I'm never going to hear ...
A. 11 July 2011: We are all equals and have unique struggles in our paths to growth, so I wouldn't think it would work for you to want to help him. A lot of people would have stayed away from this guy. You like a challenge, and that's a very good quality. Discover ... (read in full...)
Do I really know my guy? Now that I know he looks at Gay'Tranny and SheMale porn?
Q. My baby's dad and I have been together off and on for 6 years. It hasn't been a good past 6 years. He has 2 children with another woman and yes, they were both during these last 6 years. We are currently not together but he has come over and...
A. 11 July 2011: I believe some men look at shemale porn because it's different. You do not know for a fact that he's turned on by it. I had been a porn watcher when I was younger. I used to like it so much. I had a good sex life, tried out many things. Now porn ... (read in full...)
Now what do I do, how can I tell if she likes me?
Q. I posted a question here a couple of days ago and got some quite helpful advice so I thought I should try it again. Anyway the girl that I though liked me but wasn't sure and then felt bad for not doing anything before she left is coming back for ...
A. 8 July 2011: Keep hanging out with her with your cousins. It's too early to confess your feelings. Get to know her more and find out what you like in her as a person. Maybe get some clues as well as to whether you two could be a good fit. Have your cousins talk ... (read in full...)
Should I cheat on a potential cheater?
Q. Is it wrong to cheat on your boyfriend if you think he may have cheated on you? I know most of you will probably say - YES! and that we should just break up. But lately, it feels more like we are dating casually than boyfriend and girlfriend. ...
A. 8 July 2011: Don't drag yourself as low as any cheater. There is no proof. He could have been very busy.
I just won't get involved with men who have to go on business trips. I see them as people who don't want to get tied down in one place, in one rela... (read in full...)
Recently separated from my husband, should I now confess my feelings to my ex who is also my FWB?
Q. My husband and I have been having problems over the last 3 years, which have escalated to several talks of divorce but then he always tries to convince me that things will be better. During this time I ran into my ex unexpectedly (almost 1 yr ago). ...
A. 8 July 2011: I don't know if you and your husband laid down the boundaries, whether you could see other people while you are separated. Even if you didn't, I am very sure he won't be happy to learn that you are FWB with your ex. You may have a desire to have an ... (read in full...)
I love her but I keep catching her in lies, and she insists she's telling the truth even when lying right to my face!
Q. Sorry for the length of this one. Im in love with a girl I have been friends for 5yrs and lovers for 5 months. We were co-workers/friends about 5yrs ago, parted ways, kept in tough and now in love and happy for the most part. Only problem are the ...
A. 8 July 2011: She has asked you to propose, but you two are not an item yet. There is no relationship when there is no real self to love. She does not belong to you. Don't let your happy brain chemicals fool you to believe that it's real love. It seems like she ... (read in full...)
My husband is always crossing the line with females!
Q. i have been with my husband 5 years married nearly one. weve always been up and down..but thats just us. but as long as ive been with him and dated him..he alwayss crosses the line with female friends. hes always flirting etc. and it bothers me to ...
A. 8 July 2011: Tell him honestly that his flirting with other women makes you feel uncomfortable, like he is keeping his options open as if he's still single. Every relationship has its ups and downs. The issues weren't worked through and he is looking for ... (read in full...)
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