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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Should I wait until the holidays are over to leave him?
Q. I'm 22, I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we have a 3 year old son. I've been miserable in the relationship for the past 2 years but we've both tried to make it work the whole time. If we didn't have a kid together I'd be long gone. I'm ...
A. 9 October 2011: If you both had mentally checked out then a break up won't feel like a harsh blow. Whether you make the final talk is up to you but that won't stop the holiday celebrations, specially when you say he is basically a good man. When you find a new man ... (read in full...)
I slept with him after the first date, he hasn't contact me yet, and now I'm obsessed
Q. I feel I am obsessed with a guy I slept with on a first date. I have never felt such incredible connection before, it wasn't just physical, it was emotional and spiritual too, really cannot explain it - it was crazy! I keep looking him up online ...
A. 9 October 2011: I once was infatuated like that but once I focused my attention on someone else that infatuation was gone like the wind. He probably had some chemical clicks with you, matched your criterion of a good father gene, and that's it. It is definitely not ... (read in full...)
We broke up and he hasn't called me or texted yet
Q. Okay .. Umm so me and my boyfriend had a fight the other night and it turned out to be pretty nasty unfortunately we both were hell mad at each other and were being really selfish. In the end he was like "lets end it here only", I said "if that what ...
A. 9 October 2011: Give him time and space so he comes up with his own conclusion that the relationship is worth continuing. A void works wonders for guys. It makes him misses you. Throughout the relationship gift him with mini break ups, he would appreciate. I am not ... (read in full...)
She doesn't know how to tell guys to back off and I'm starting to think you like the attention
Q. This girl I'm kinda seeing doesn't really feel comfortable telling guys to back off. And she always tend to have guys going after her. I'm not sure if she likes the attention. I mean she tells me the guys are losers and it's annoying, but she ...
A. 9 October 2011: My answer is not going to help because I am an extremist when it comes to drinking. Whenever I see or hear the word alcohol, drunk, I automatically say "bye bye" in my head. It's not about jealousy. I look down on people who get drunk at 3 am.
T... (read in full...)
Can masturbation change people?
Q. Many people masturbate. Some people more than others. The question is, can it change people? Do you think it can make people into a sex-addict? Or maybe even narcissist? I've been masturbating for a long time now, and I want to know, what is the ...
A. 9 October 2011: Quite the contrary, masturbation keeps you sane and helps you function better by getting rid of distractions. If your sexuality is healthy you have nothing to worry about even when that rare one day you feel like masturbating 7 times.
Most peop... (read in full...)
My "best friend" (girl) walks around me naked, teases me, and then when I try to do something, she refuses sex saying it would ruin our friendship!!
Q. So this girl I met this year is like amazingly gorgeous, and she has been my supposed "best friend" for a couple months now, even tho ive never been in a platonic relationship. The thing is were both really attracted to each other and she "swears" ...
A. 9 October 2011: You also have to take into fact that women and some men don't say what they mean and what they say they want is not what they really want.... (read in full...)
My "best friend" (girl) walks around me naked, teases me, and then when I try to do something, she refuses sex saying it would ruin our friendship!!
Q. So this girl I met this year is like amazingly gorgeous, and she has been my supposed "best friend" for a couple months now, even tho ive never been in a platonic relationship. The thing is were both really attracted to each other and she "swears" ...
A. 9 October 2011: I honestly don't hate this girl like you all do. If I like a guy and I know he likes me too but does nothing. I am not going to walk up to him and say do you want to be my boyfriend? No.
I know that sexual teasing is the worst way to do but howe... (read in full...)
She cheated but I love her to death....how can we make our relationship stronger?
Q. I have a question and that is if my and my gf stopped having sex like going cold turkey would that cause problems in our relationship. So far it has I've been extremely frustrated not being able to have sex with her and she likes or should I say ...
A. 9 October 2011: At first i suspect this relationship is toxic but I understand passionate love can cause us to do stupid things. Think whenever a married person gets murdered the cops would contact the spouse first.
Your relationship will get stronger if you both... (read in full...)
My "best friend" (girl) walks around me naked, teases me, and then when I try to do something, she refuses sex saying it would ruin our friendship!!
Q. So this girl I met this year is like amazingly gorgeous, and she has been my supposed "best friend" for a couple months now, even tho ive never been in a platonic relationship. The thing is were both really attracted to each other and she "swears" ...
A. 9 October 2011: I can say this relationship is no longer platonic. She only says she doesn't want to ruin the friendship because she has this internal dilemma of wanting to prove herself attractive, feeling horny but not wanting to be seen as a whore. She wants to ... (read in full...)
Embarrassed of getting erection while hugging my date. Opinions needed!
Q. Something very embarrassing happened to me and I would like female readers' opinions: There's this girl at work with whom we've been flirting for a few months now. Finally she initiated to go for a friendly coffee where we had a really nice and...
A. 9 October 2011: I won't think your mind is only on sex but when you pulled back you made it obvious and you brought to her attention that this flirting could go further. She turned you down not because you had a natural reaction, a hard on, but because she wants to ... (read in full...)
Does he like me or is just a flirt and playing me?
Q. Yesterday I went to the movies with my friends Julia, Jay, Jack, Cassie, and Jose. Julia, Jay, Jack and Cassie know that I like Jose, as in more than a friend. And they think he likes me too so theyre trying to set me up with him. Jack told me to ...
A. 8 October 2011: When Jose told you to kiss Jack, it is a sign that he wants you all to just be friends. An apology kiss makes sense. I think he really meant business about the friend deal. Don't think too much into it. ... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble dealing with my retroactive jealousy
Q. I have a question that maybe some of the women readers can answer. Why would an attractive, intelligent woman -21 years old at the time-carry on an affair with a much older married man {25 years older}with children of equal age for 7 long years? He ...
A. 8 October 2011: Retroactive jealousy and a 21 year old woman with an old boss. So you are now dating this 20 some year old woman? As an outsider I would say they both got what they wanted even for selfish reasons. This isn't really an issue of jealousy, for me it's ... (read in full...)
I want to take my family back into my life, but then ask myself, why would I, after all the hell that they've put me through?
Q. I'm battling lots of different emotions right now and could really use some advice. For years, my sister has been sick with bipolar disorder and it's broken my family apart - worn my mum and dad down to shells of their former selves. I staye...
A. 8 October 2011: You haven't really abandoned them. Most adults grow up and move away and come back on the weekends to visit. Distancing from parents is a healthy part of growing up. Whether parents are good or not children will distance one day and this part of ... (read in full...)
We's been together for 4 years. But is my 22 year old partner losing interest in me?
Q. Hi I've been with my partner for 4 years he's 22 snd I'm 34 , we always had a spontaneous sexual relationship but for the past year and half we hardly ever have sex I am gettin frustrated with him as I caught him pleasuring himself , why don't he ...
A. 8 October 2011: You said for the past year and a half. For a 22 year old to say he is tired something is up. There is a very small possibility that he is stressed out or he has a medical problem but I doubt it. Rather than digging into him, asking questions, like ... (read in full...)
We had a fling. I'm meeting up with him again soon. Want more from him. How will I get over him if he rejects me?
Q. I work sometimes with a guy who is married we had a fling not all the way. I know it is wrong I will be seeing him next week and I plan on acting like nothing happened. I feel anxious about it already because I'm so attacted to him. If he rejects ...
A. 8 October 2011: I don't think you will get good advice on the future of something that shouldn't be made present. If you want peace it is what a committed relationship is for.
Rejection is a big thing. It triggers our sense of worth and identity. Always reme... (read in full...)
I am constantly worried he will break up with me. How do I prevent this? How do I act to ensure I keep him?
Q. I've recently got a boyfriend who I like a lot, except I'm constantly worried he'll break up with me even though there isn't any real indication that he will. Is this normal? What are things I should do to prevent this? and will playing kind of hard ...
A. 8 October 2011: There is an interesting psychology which says the thing that you focuses on you tend to get. It would be wise to only think about the positives but even then there are no guarantees in life. If you can't accept the ups and downs in life you can't ... (read in full...)
Is masturbating nasty? Some girls say it is. Girls don't like me
Q. I am 29 year old i have been single for 5 years now . Girls dont like me because i am stocky and they say that i am ugly . Is masturbateing nasty? because i do it every night . I started doing it when i was younger. Don't girl...
A. 8 October 2011: Girls who can't keep their mouths shut are not worth your time. You said girls don't like you, to your face? How many (for you to post this generalizing question)? In a joking manner? Why do you have to tell random girls you masturbate every day? ... (read in full...)
Going to meet him. To talk. But can I get him to like me as more than 'friends'?i don't want to lose him.
Q. Hi i'm a 23 year old female. I met my boyfriend 3 years ago as (then) just mates no emotional connection just friends. His little sister passed away and i was there for him. 3 years later i moved to a new city and it was a shock that he was movi...
A. 8 October 2011: If he doesn't want to be intense he probably doesn't want to talk about relationships and trust on Sunday. The conversation should be light hearted, and about testing each other's likability. Slowly and slowly if things are good you can build up the ... (read in full...)
I think I've made the biggest mistake of my life ending my affair. Don't want to be hated. But how do I make this work out right?
Q. Hi, not sure how to start this but hoping to get some good advice. I have been with my wife for 9 years married for 4 and last year i had an affair for 3 months with a woman who is friends with one of my friends. There was a connection from ...
A. 8 October 2011: Wow, this was from last year. I doubt your affair partner still hates you. In fact you hope she hates you because this proves she still has feelings for you. I guess you don't want the mess but you hate that she became indifferent to you.
My advi... (read in full...)
What is do the numbers signify? What's normal for you? Is more sex with more people success? Or is more relationship with one person more?
Q. Out of curiosity, how many a) romantic relationships (i.e. dated for a while, no sex) b) full-on-committed relationships (i.e. with sex) and c) sexual relationships did you have by the time you were 22/23? This question is both for men and wom...
A. 7 October 2011: (1) 1
(2) 2
(3) 2
I had quite a few after 23 but I guess you just want to compare with other people because you are probably 22, 23.
Numbers signify nothing. What's normal is that you find out what you like and who you are through interact... (read in full...)
I think I've made the biggest mistake of my life ending my affair. Don't want to be hated. But how do I make this work out right?
Q. Hi, not sure how to start this but hoping to get some good advice. I have been with my wife for 9 years married for 4 and last year i had an affair for 3 months with a woman who is friends with one of my friends. There was a connection from ...
A. 7 October 2011: Chemistry can't be developed if it wasn't there at the first place. You have two good options. Accept that a passionless marriage is what you will have, out of honor, and, a divorce, in hopes of looking for a non attached attractive female. After ... (read in full...)
She contacts me all the time. I ignore her. I am heartbroken. How do I move on? How do I forget her?
Q. I Just recently broke up with the love of my life. We broke up about a month ago. I cant stop thinking about her. I want to so badly. I broke her heart and i want to forget her. I cant. I thought maybe I can get her back, But i realized the...
A. 6 October 2011: You just broke up. You need time to refresh your mind and to make sure your break up wasn't a mistake. Maybe you need mental adjustments to accept her past. If after a month you find that you won't change your mind or she won't change her (...blank) ... (read in full...)
Am I too sensitive? Or is he insensitive? And when do you call it quits when it comes to a relationship?
Q. I am engaged to my guy for a year and a half now. In the beginning everything was great, I was completely ready to marry my guy. However, the past 6-8 months is making me re-think this whole marriage thing. We're hardly ever intimate, we har...
A. 6 October 2011: He is at least 44 so I find it hard to believe he wouldn't find you attractive. I would say it's him not you, such as him having a medical problem that he can't talk about. He is at an age where he knows who's attractive who's not. I guess he wants ... (read in full...)
Am I about to get played AGAIN? Help!
Q. Please bear with me... I know this is long, but I DESPERATELY need your help! Well, I am having a little bit of boy trouble. Y'see I've been crushing on this boy since last year. But then I got over him because I thought that he was a stuck up s...
A. 29 September 2011: You are probably very beautiful and he is free to express his mind. For a guy to fall in love they need emotional connection. What makes him emotionally attracted to you is that you are confident inside and out. You have to realize that you are also ... (read in full...)
My ex is confusing me.Is he doing it on purpose?
Q. hai everyone.Am in a confusing situation.My ex boyfriend and i were together for 11 months,we broke up 4 months ago.We are at the same university.i broke up with him after i found out that he cheated on me when we closed school.The girl he cheated ...
A. 29 September 2011: I think you can still ask him whether he is trying to get over you, and if it's possible to do so with the new girl. Underneath there may be a lot of anger, so try to talk slowly and calmly (prepare a script if possible) because your purpose of ... (read in full...)
Should I confess how I feel in a non-confrontational way?
Q. I have been struggling with this for a while. And so I just want one more bit of advice. Should I confess that I am jealous of my husband's best friend and this other girl, who is also a mutual friend? And that I feel insecure? I'm jealous of ...
A. 27 September 2011: Now I hear more details from you, your insecurity is justified. He sounds crazy. He crushed your self esteem, your ability to decide and stand up for yourself.
If you are wrong all the time, then what's the point? You are not right for each othe... (read in full...)
How do you change your entire personality?
Q. Hello, I myself am a really lonely individual, I don't have any girls that are friends guys that are friends, don't have any girlfriends. I think the problem is my personality. Here's what my personality is. I like doing dorky loser things like, ...
A. 25 September 2011: My boyfriend was born in 1967 in Canada. He did all those geeky things you did, a nature guy. He hated partying, he couldn't stand the smell of smoke, alcohol and mindless chit chat. He paid a hooker at the age of 14 from his hard earned money and ... (read in full...)
How can I know that my virgin girlfriend is really ready for sex?
Q. My gf and I met through mutal friends, I knew she was a virgin and planned to stay that way until she met`the perfect guy`` before we started dating.I am 23, she is 21. Its been over a year (14 months) and I respect her decision about sex. I will ...
A. 25 September 2011: Attraction goes both ways. Ask if she's attracted to you. Society has made it a one sided thing that only guys look at girls and girls don't look and that a girl has to wait and wait for the guy who doesn't look. Nonsense.
She has to know that you ... (read in full...)
Is my man interested in more than friendship with her?
Q. Well my current relationship is kinda unsure to me, only because i often hear about his friend he had in high school. He said more then once that if he was ever to marry anyone, it would be her. He claims she is a friend to this day and often calls ...
A. 25 September 2011: What I would say to him is that you worry this relationship is not working because you were wishing for someone who is crazy about you, dreams about you and wants to take care of you, and he isn't that person. ... (read in full...)
I'm not sexually attracted to my girlfriend!
Q. I've met a fantastic woman, she is funny, intelligent, thoughtful, sweet with a heart of gold... doesn't sound like much of a problem does it? The problem lies in attraction, I met her from a dating site, we hit it off immediately as we are both of ...
A. 24 September 2011: We can't help who we are attracted too. Sometimes looks as nothing to do with it. I know breaking up with her makes you feel like an asshole at first, but she would be better off. Someone else would find her attractive. Do the honest thing. If all ... (read in full...)
Is my relationship destined for doom, or can it be fixed?
Q. Well, I have been with my husband for 5 years, we have 2 amazing kids. In the past, I believe he has cheated on me several times, I could never get over it then though he hadn't admitted to it. I know in my heart he has, I had reliable sources. Any...
A. 24 September 2011: There is possibility that he feels remorse over what he had done. To forgive him you need to allow him the space, the second chance. Not knowing the truth you may think it can protect you from the hurt but it hurts just as much not knowing, thinking ... (read in full...)
Its easier for us to be mean to each other rather than nice!
Q. i have been woth my boyfriend for 4 years and we have a 3 year old son. recently i dont want to have sex with him and dont like it when he tries to kiss me. we argue alot about nothing and i cry alot.we both say very hurtful things to each other and ...
A. 24 September 2011: It would feel easy at that moment to just vent instead of expressing true feelings like hurt and anger. But afterwards it is not easy for you. When you are mean, what you are doing is withholding yourself from love and shutting down.
Lots of peop... (read in full...)
Is there medicine for wetness?
Q. is there any medication one can take to reduce the wetness during sex?...
A. 24 September 2011: Wetness is not a problem, it is a natural body function to prevent chaffing. It is like asking how to reduce saliva during eating. ... (read in full...)
He is such a tight-wad in everything. Should I stay or go? It bothers me that he thinks women are after his money.
Q. I am a 46 years old woman. I've met this man 16 years older than me after my divorce. He is a wealthy man with his own house and car and still earning a good income. Im in a low paid job and just earn enough to support myself. I've got my own h...
A. 24 September 2011: You should go when you can find someone who suits you better. But for now he is still your friend and can fix things for you and keep you company.... (read in full...)
My brother in law is a womaniser--- Should I tell my sister about this?
Q. We are indians. My sister got married to an American Indian man.This was his second marrige and he hid that from us. My sister came to know about it during hers immigration process. However, she accpeted that man. She came to US in 2008.Fortunately, ...
A. 24 September 2011: He is a natural flirt. It is very unpleasant when he flirts with another family member. You can tell him to stop or your husband can reprimand him. You heard of his nasty past, but what had he actually done after his marriage to your sister, besides ... (read in full...)
Does he want a hook-up, FWB, or a relationship?
Q. I've been friends with this guy for two years, and last night we were talking and it became pretty obvious that we thought of each other as more than friends. He asked me if I'd ever be interested in hooking up with him...I said yes. The problem is ...
A. 24 September 2011: He sounds like a responsible person. He knows that relationships are very time consuming, especially when both of you are still studying. If you have fun with him, develop connection with him and never complain about not having enough time, it could ... (read in full...)
Breaking up was the right thing to do, but I'm still SO sad
Q. Here's the thing.. For the last few month I dated this guy .. and I had very strong feelings for him... I don't usually fall so fast but he has this thing over me that I can't explain... anyway it was a complicated relationship from the beggining I ...
A. 24 September 2011: You should allow yourself to feel whatever because that's the only way to grieve and to get over a person. Just feel and try not to analyze the problem. Something you can think about is that while you are sad right now, a year from now on you would ... (read in full...)
Should I confess how I feel in a non-confrontational way?
Q. I have been struggling with this for a while. And so I just want one more bit of advice. Should I confess that I am jealous of my husband's best friend and this other girl, who is also a mutual friend? And that I feel insecure? I'm jealous of ...
A. 24 September 2011: Why such poor self esteem? If you want to talk about it you can mention first that you are feeling sad, and you don't think it has anything to do with him, even though his behaviour triggered the sense of abandonment pain in you. You are not trying ... (read in full...)
How can I get through to my b/f? He cannot stand confrontations
Q. Hello there. And thank you for taking the time to read and help me to solve my problem. I am a divorced mother of two children. And I am so lucky to be engaged to a wonderful man who accept them as his own. Please let me tell you about his po...
A. 19 September 2011: There may be semantic differences when you talk. When he says he is going to do something, he may mean he is thinking about it, and he is free to express whatever's on his mind. For you, going to do something means it's going to get done.
You also... (read in full...)
The danger of porn
Q. What do you think about porn addiction? Many marriages are ending up because porn, prostitution....
A. 19 September 2011: I think people who had never had good sex, and think they will never had good sex will be more prone to porn addiction. Good sex and passion is our birthright, and it is up to us to find it, to be fulfilled. Porn is an escape from doing all the ... (read in full...)
How do I discuss with my daughter any future contact she has with him if it is the case that he really is mentally ill? And how can I get a healthy and less victim-like view on how he has treated me?
Q. I got married when I was very young and the marriage lasted around four years. My home life prior to that had been extremely chaotic with a severely schizophrenic/violent elder sister and an abusive mother. In contrast my husband seemed calm, but I ...
A. 19 September 2011: There is really no strict criterion of what it means to be mentally ill. A narcissistic person can be of sound mind. A bi polar person can also be of sound mind. What I know is that it's not uncommon for a "problematic" father to start calling his ... (read in full...)
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