A
female
age
30-35,
*ust_Me_16
writes:How do I last longer in bed I'm 18 and when me an my boyfriend get intimate I always have to stop an he don't get to finish sometimes because it hurts. I want him to be able to finish an be happy. And one more question does it make men mad when they can't finish. I feel bad because we have to stop.? Should I be worried.
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male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (25 May 2011):
 Trust me, you never have to take it all in your mouth for it to be plesurable. Once you get too far past the head of the penis it is wasted effort anyway. I'm sure you do things just fine, you just need to believe in yourself.
A
female
reader, just_Me_16 +, writes (25 May 2011):
just_Me_16 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have thought about getting him off another way but me going down on him I can't fit it all in my mouth an I feel like that's the only way for him to get the pleasure too. We talk about it I mean were very open with each other
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (24 May 2011):
Yeah it would definitely get to him eventually but he doesn't want to be mean about it. You two should talk and work together about how you can make the situation better. Sex is a two person act so there is no point about you trying to improve this on your own.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 May 2011):
 Listen, if a guy says it doesn't bother him, it doesn't bother him. Men don't speak in riddles or say no when they mean yes. They say it like it is. It doesn't bother him. If it does bother him, he will let you know.
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A
female
reader, just_Me_16 +, writes (24 May 2011):
just_Me_16 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe says it doesn't bother him but I just think different like it does.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (24 May 2011):
If it hurts you stop. Period. You can finish him off with a handjob or blowjob. Alternatively you can have longer foreplay. If he's been horny for a longer period of time, through foreplay for example, or if there's been several days since you last had sex, he will come quicker. You can usehandjobs, blowjobs, rubbing up against each other, as foreplay that will stimulate him and make him come faster once you get to the intercourse.
Another way to make him come faster is find the positions where he gets more stimulation. It varies from man to man, but there is always one position or more than will make him come faster than others. The speed of the thrusts also determine how fast he will come.
You guy also needs to learn how to make himself come faster. So many guys focus on how to last longer, but really, it can be just as challenging to come fast. It could be he isn't allowing himself to come fast because he thinks you like it when he lasts longer, despite you telling him it hurts. Make it very clear to him that you would like for him to come faster.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (24 May 2011):
If it hurts you stop. Period. You can finish him off with a handjob or blowjob. Alternatively you can have longer foreplay. If he's been horny for a longer period of time, through foreplay for example, or if there's been several days since you last had sex, he will come quicker. You can usehandjobs, blowjobs, rubbing up against each other, as foreplay that will stimulate him and make him come faster once you get to the intercourse.
Another way to make him come faster is find the positions where he gets more stimulation. It varies from man to man, but there is always one position or more than will make him come faster than others. The speed of the thrusts also determine how fast he will come.
You guy also needs to learn how to make himself come faster. So many guys focus on how to last longer, but really, it can be just as challenging to come fast. It could be he isn't allowing himself to come fast because he thinks you like it when he lasts longer, despite you telling him it hurts. Make it very clear to him that you would like for him to come faster.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (24 May 2011):
 I don't know about the men but it sure makes this woman mad when they don't.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (24 May 2011):
 importantly, why does it hurt? do you mean hurt YOU or HIM? this needs to be resolved, maybe you/he has an infection that is causing the pain (see your doctor) or is it caused by being too rough? if so - make a change. make sure you are both getting sufficient foreplay too. it does not sound as if you are communicating though, and you need to!
if you are intimate to be having sex you's should be intimate enough to be able to talk about it
x
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A
male
reader, Nithyanala  +, writes (24 May 2011):
 Mad as in 'angry'? No, not really, never. But frustrated, yes. I usually jerk off when that happens though. My lovers are normally happy to let me cum on their body or watch me cum on myself. Perks of being a bisexual transgender, I guess?
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A
male
reader, Wheeler +, writes (24 May 2011):
 I agree with all that has been said and would add this: You can alleviate the problem at least somewhat by offering to finish him off through other means.br
brIt has never bothered me if I didn't finish. I would much rather the lady did.br
brHowever, in this case we are talking about him not being able to finish because of what sounds like a medical issue that is probably easily resolved. Go that route first and see where it takes you. If you can solve your issue of pain and therefore be able to last longer then the problem will likely resolve quickly.
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (24 May 2011):
I wouldn't say mad but it is very fustrating when it happens. It sounds like you need to use a lube because you are not producing enough of your own which is why it is hurting. Take it slow and see if you can figure out why it is hurting you. It doesn't take fast pounding for a guy to finish. If it continues to be a problem I would see a doctor and if you feel bad about it you can always stop and finish him with your hands to be nice.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (24 May 2011):
 Normally I would not call it "getting mad," but it must be disappointing for him. Why don't you ask him?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2011): Well if it really does hurt then you should stop. Are you using enough lube? I dont think it makes them mad but more so sexually frusterated. If he is not able to finish before you have to stop why dont you offer to suck him off? Ive had two kids and you have to hold off on sex so you can heal so when i cant have sex i offer to suck him off or give him a hand job and if you dont want to swallow you can always let him cum on you. And just a thought dont know what ur limits are but anal sex may be an option but only if u r comfortable with it. If it hurts every time you have sex you may want to check w ur dr as well.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (24 May 2011):
 When sex hurts you are doing something wrong. For me, it only hurts afterwards when all the adrenaline goes down. Maybe you are not aroused enough. The purpose of sex is not to let him finish and get it over with. It doesn't make men mad when they get finish. A gentleman always puts you first. He would make sure you are satisfied. My boyfriend would hold it for me until the phone rings, someone knocks on the door, or my son wakes up. Sometimes I have to tell him just release when he feels like it. Inexperienced boys are not familiar with the female genitalia and your erogenous zones. You have to tell him what turns you on. Never make it a habit for him to enter you when you don't feel ready.
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