A
female
age
30-35,
*lexneedslove
writes:So my sister likes this guy who is my age. Shes only a year younger. Were both in high school but go to different schools so i've never met him. She told me a lot about him and from what I heard he was definitly my type. We like the same music, same personality etc. But i never met him so i blew it off and encouraged my sister, who happens to have terribly low self esteem, to go for it. So yesterday my friend told me that the boy is kind of interested in my sister and they said they would come over my house the next day to hang out with us. So he came and unfortunatly, I fell completely head over heels for him. He was here for the whole day and it seemed him and my sister had no chemistry.She was very shy and awkward around him. And the worst part was it seemed like he was interested in me! My sister did not talk to him and he came all the way to our house for her. All of our friends know how much my sister likes him, none of them know I do yet. But im to scared to tell anyone because they would say I am betraying my sister. I have never felt this way about a boy before. I dont want to lose him, but i love my sister as well... After he came to our house he told my friend that he sees my sister as a friend but maybe theres something more. I was so torn up I felt sick the whole day from thinking about him. So he left his ipod at our house and we said we'd return it, but my sister is going away to camp tomoro for a week and wont be able to give it to him....but I can. I want to use this as an excuse to hang with him, but I feel so guilty for my sister. I would never go behind her back and if she ends up going out with him I will leave it at that. But i really dont think it will happen, shes not herself when shes around him. So i am asking, if nothing happens should I go for it? Or if they break up can i go for it? Or should i just endure the pain for however long it takes and try to forget......
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female
reader, blueangelx15 +, writes (8 July 2011):
If I were you, I wouldn't do it. This is almost like my situation, one of my best friends who's close to being my sister, told me she didn't mind me dating her ex, then her mind changed 3 times and she's completely ticked off at me now.
You and your sister, have a much stronger relationship and you shouldn't let ANY guy come between you two. Even if she doesn't care. I would let her figure out this guy for herself to see what she plans on doing but I would stay out of it and away from him if I were you.
A
female
reader, masquerade711  +, writes (8 July 2011):
 You need to talk to your sister about this. In saying that, I think you're really close to crossing a line here. In my opinion, you NEVER, under ANY circumstance, go after a guy that your sister was with/liked/almost went out with, etc. Or any variation. You should consider him OFF LIMITS, because I can guarantee you, even if you have a conversation with her and she says it's okay with her, you don't know if it really IS okay with her. She may just be saying so because she doesn't want you to be angry and resent her, but if she's not okay with it, she will eventually end up resenting you.
In the end, this is between you and your sister (and the guy, of course). I can tell you this, if I was in your shoes (and I have been), I wouldn't even go there. She's your sister. That lasts forever. He's just a guy. That might last forever, or it might last a minute. The fact that he could leave you and your sister never will kind of spells it out pretty clear from my perspective.
masq
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (8 July 2011):
 You should open up to your sister about your feelings. She will respect you if you are honest yet having no intentions to betray her. Ask her how much she likes this guy, and whether you can return the ipod to him. That's the only way to find out if she would mind you dating this guy.
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