A
female
age
41-50,
*enta
writes:Been seeing this man for 7 months, I always knew he had feelings for me but never knew how much until he told me a week ago. He told me he loved me and he wanted to me to have his baby. I was shocked by this, I had no idea he felt this way. He always told me I was beautiful and we see eachother almost everyday. So since then we have said it a few times to one another but I have not asked him his intentions? When he told me he loved me he did mention it was going to be hard for us since I have two boys. So it seems like he put some thought into saying he loved me and also since we been together 7 months this isnt a spur of the moment thing. But he hasnt brought up if he has a plan or what he is thinking for the future with us? Now when a man says I love you do they automaticly think that there is a future with that women? I just do not want to rush anything so do I just ask what his plan is with me?
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female
reader, muso888  +, writes (29 May 2011):
I reckon with most men 'I love you' when they mean it doesn't always mean they have a plan... but usually that they are open to start thinking about making plans. Don't rush him, he seems to be the kind of guy who takes his time to think things through carefully... enjoy the moment. Drop a few hints if you like, and see if he responds, but don't get ahead of yourself - be in the moment as you are and enjoy it, and you'll find the plans will fall into place without too much extra pressure.
A
male
reader, Universe Man +, writes (28 May 2011):
He probably doesn't have a plan. He just loves you and felt like saying it. Saying he loves you has probably been his big plan for some time now.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 May 2011):
 every man is different.
you need to ask him.... which I know is very hard to do... but men are not mind readers and you need to let him know what you are thinking and wanting...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2011): I also have 2 children and am in a relationship to a great guy whom i love and adore, he told me in the first few weeks that he loves me and i felt it too, he has a child also from a previous relationship and is a great dad, spending loads of time with his child, he also treats my children like their his own, without trying to hard. We have also spoke of kids together (he brought it up first too)and we manage to juggle the three kids and his hectic job and still have time for eachother. I feel that he see's a future with you , dont ask him because you dont want him to feel pressured but the fact that he has expressed his love and the fact that he wants you to have his baby shows that he see's a good mother in you, let him develop a stronger relationship with your children and take each day as it comes there's no need to rush things just yet but if the matter arises again then of course say to him about how he see's you and your boys in his life at least that way you will get a clear answere. Its hard to find a good man that will take on a woman with two kids its a hard job he sounds like a keeper, best of luck in the future :)
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (28 May 2011):
 It's up to you to let him know that a future with you is a good thing. At first when men think of other people's kids they worry they don't have a place, and that the kids won't listen to a new father, power struggle and relationship dynamics such as favoritism, and kids competing for your attention, etc. What you do now is enjoy the time with him and let him bond with your kids. Live life as with he's already your husband, then commitment should just come naturally. There may come a day that he thinks having 3 plus kids is the best thing ever. He needs to know that your love is stronger than stress of raising 3 plus kids together and the conflict that may come. He needs to know that he still has enough intimate time with you alone. When he says it's hard it doesn't mean the relationship won't go to the next level. You can help him let go of his fear and resistance by showing you can handle it with him. A good man is a natural leader. There is a profound satisfaction when he feels that he can be a model for your kids.
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