A
female
age
30-35,
*ofialoren
writes:We met on our year abroad. Ok so for the first five months or so I would always pay half the bill. After sometime when we formally started going out he started to pay more and now I don't pay at all. We live in different countries and meet regularly. The thing is he is supremly rich and I'm normal haha. I could afford to pay the amount he does. He doesn't want me to pay and I don't offer.He's a little old fashioned and likes to treat me. I'm 20 and he's 26. Also I have been to his country and saw his parents houses. I always knew they were rich but I was taken aback- their houses are huge, their cars are fantastic. I have never seen so much money in life. His family are lovely though, they like me a lot, his parents send me cards and gifts for my birthday, Christmas. They are absolutely lovely people and do not show off.The problem is with me. I know I shouldnt, but I feel totally inadequate- I study in a different country from where my parents live and pay international fees. My parents had to take a huge loan. I really admire my parents, we dont have much money but my father is in the military-less money yes but a very respectable job. My boyfriend knows I dont have the same money as him, he pays for me everywhere. I love him for that. We both know we are together because we love each other, we've been together for almost two years now.This summer my boyfriend has an internship in the country Im studying in and we plan to live together for that period. We have rented an apartment and my boyfriend's paying more than half the money for that period which is just as fair because he's getting paid for his internship while I will not get paid for my volunteership.I spoke to my parents, they are very supportive and want us to to spend the summer together but its hard for them to put that money together, they have to pay for my third year at uni and my accommodation for next year.What do I do? I've told my parents I wouldnt go back home over the summer, so the plane ticket money can be used to pay my boyfriend.Should I tell my boyfriend the true picture? I know I shouldnt, but feel very embarrassed. Please help :(
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 May 2011):
 You should tell him how much your parents can afford, matter of factly. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. You can express that you feel uncomfortable about him always paying more, but let him know that when you have a career you will divide financial responsibilities fairly. If he is supremely rich, monthly rent should feel like nothing to him so he probably won't want you to sweat over it. Always be proud of your parents. You have different backgrounds but one common thing we all have is that we want to be cherished and appreciated.
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