A
female
age
36-40,
*azel_eyes2
writes:My baby's dad and I have been together off and on for 6 years. It hasn't been a good past 6 years. He has 2 children with another woman and yes, they were both during these last 6 years. We are currently not together but he has come over and been on my computer and I have kidlogger on the computer which takes screen shots every one min and he has been looking at gay and shemale porn. I was floored when I first figured this out and am thinking this: is why he can't be happy with me or the other woman bc he's into men? But I'm trying to remain positive because he's always had a healthy sexual appetite. However, he has been less interested in me lately and has been acting suspicious so I started monitering his computer. He is a man's man so I was very floored when I discovered this. He doesn't dress in woman's clothing, that I know of, so I don't think that it is because he is a transvestite himself. I'm confused. I've read all kinds of forums and some people say that there is no way he's gay because gay men are not attracted to femininity. Others say straight men would never be turned-on by someone with a penis. However, what if he is gay, but is ashamed etc. and feels that searching for a woman with a penis is a suitable compromise for now? This may be too personal, but I feel it is relevant, he has a thing for anal sex (which I do oblige, and sometimes anal sex and give fellatio when he wants) If we do have vaginal penetration he's always saying hurry up, also I am one who squirts and I've had men in the past LOVE that, and he HATES it and won't let me have an orgasam, because he doesn't want the "Mess". I've never thought these details strange until now. I just need some opinions on whether or not straight (not bi or gay) men could be turned on by gay/transvestites enough to look at them everyday. Yes, I will eventually ask him myself, but for now, I'm really not supposed to have found out this information (I used kidlogger because he deletes his entire history every time he's on the computer..hence the suspicious action). I really don't want to cause additional problems in our relationship with this fact if this is just some common fetishs that most people would never pursue physically
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (11 July 2011):
 This guy does not sound like a good stable guy to be in a relationship with. In my experience on again off again relationships rarely work out in any long term sense because there's no ability to rely on the other person. Also the fact that he immediately goes off and impregnates women he's in short term relationships with when you're "off again" doesn't show a huge amount of responsibility or thought about anything farther in the future than a few hours.
I really can't comment on whether the porn makes him gay or straight. Which sex a person fantasizes about generally does say what their sexuality is, however since porn isn't fantasy and he's not coming up with the images in his head, it's impossible to say.
"won't let me have an orgasam, because he doesn't want the "Mess"."
This is ridiculous. Does he not ejaculate when he orgasms? Next time you have sex stop him before he orgasms and say you don't feel like dealing with his mess either.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): OK. Firstly, I do not think he is gay cos he looks at these sites. I sometimes look at lesbian porn and i am not a lesbian, i am not even bi, but i am sexually curious and have a very high sex drive and am into a lot of different things sexually. I have also known men who loook at differnet types of porn but they too are sexually curious and open minded to different experineces.
So that issue does not conecern me.
What does concern me is that he had two kids with another woman whilst he was with you. There are other indications in this post that this relationship is not a very positive thing for you.
I also think that it is a little odd that he went on your computer to use porn. I think that is a bit of a boundary issue.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (11 July 2011):
 I believe some men look at shemale porn because it's different. You do not know for a fact that he's turned on by it. I had been a porn watcher when I was younger. I used to like it so much. I had a good sex life, tried out many things. Now porn doesn't do a thing for me anymore. I watched shemale porn with my boyfriend. We are mainly looking at their bodies and being at awe at how different they look. Neither of us were turned on by it. We watched it just because we were curious.
When you are having sex he may be saying hurry up because he's about to cum and it's painful for him to hold it in. Some men really don't like the mess.
Only he knows the answers. You can ask him without being accusative, why he enjoys looking at shemale porn. You may discover a hidden side of him and it's not necessary to make him feel shameful about it.
If you two are incompatible sexually or in other ways in your relationship then see if you can resolve those issues first before just pinning the problem down as a porn problem. Also he could be "less interested" in you because he knows that you wished he could last longer and you have had longer lasting guys in your life and he feels inadequate that he couldn't. So maybe fantasizing about a "different" person gives him some distraction to this problem.
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