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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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My "uncle" is my father and I have to keep it a secret
Q. I grew up in a different city to most of my extended family, they all live near each other in one area. My mother brought me up as a single parent and we have had a turbulent relationship, as a child she would get frustrated and lash out at me, ...
A. 16 February 2012:
Many people nowadays have a private wedding at the court with a witness and no one else. You don't really want family members who are strangers and ashamed of the affair to be at your wedding. I don't think this family would ever be reunited, even... (read in full...)
Why could my husband last longer sexually with other women?
Q. My husband and I were married for over 11years went through a divorce and have been remarried for about 7 months now. During sex together he only last a few min and it has always been this away, never bothered me cause he pleases me with foreplay as ...
A. 14 February 2012: It would be a very insensitive thing to talk about sex experience with other women while you were broken up. If he was not telling the truth he could be lying to cover the insecurity of his sexual ability. It's the "it's not me, it's you" kind of ... (read in full...)
Is it too early to be discussing marriage and children?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, we are 23 and have discussed moving in, but he says hes not ready yet and mayb in a year or 2. Also he says at the minute he doesnt want kids or marriage in the future. It is something i would probably ...
A. 12 February 2012: Young people want to have fun and they want to postpone responsibility for as long as his partner can be patient. You have to decide if you can be happy just dating. It's not too early to discuss but you probably won't want to start this ... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriend ditch me, or am I completely overreacting?
Q. Yesterday, I took lunch to my boyfriend of 6 months while he was at work. He mentioned catching a 7:30 movie, and that he would talk to me when he got off work. So, I assumed that we had a date, just like every Saturday night. Usually, we go out and ...
A. 12 February 2012: If this is the first time he chooses to stay in, then it's not big deal. He wants the night to himself but feels obligated to see you, and didn't want to disappoint you. When there are moments you feel left out in the relationship and you wonder ... (read in full...)
I want to stop being infatuated with my friend
Q. First, a little about me: I'm 24 in university and one year ago I broke up a five year relationship. It was one of the best dcions I've made and I don't regret although I miss sex and kissing, especially that. I'm shy and don't really know how to ...
A. 12 February 2012: I would not do anything to deny parts of myeself in order to keep a friendship. You are paying too much and not getting enough value from this guy. A young person wanting monogamous relationships can seem rare. But they are there and they are worth ... (read in full...)
Strange situations cropping up make me think my husband is fooling around
Q. There are three things I'm concerned about. 1) There's a woman at my husband's job that's always texting him. I've seen her messages a few times when we're together(sometimes he tells me to grab the phone and see who it is). I haven't said too much ...
A. 12 February 2012: No something is really going on. He is not admitting to it but he still wanted you to know about it by leaving obvious hints. He secretly wants this to blow up but by blaming it's all your problem. It's your decision on what to do now. ... (read in full...)
How do I let him go, when I'm not even sure that I can?
Q. Hello again aunts and uncles. Title speaks for itself really! How do you let someone go from your life, when you genuinely don't think you can do it?? I know what people will say as i have commented on many posts just like this, "keep yourself b...
A. 12 February 2012: No matter what people say, in my experience dating someone new is the fastest and best way to let an ex go. A date is not a promise that a relationship would happen, but it certainly makes you focus on the new person. It would be unrealistic, if not ... (read in full...)
My best friend/room mate found my vibrator and won't stop teasing me about it!
Q. I've been single for a couple years now and I've been living with my best friend (who happens to be a guy) for four years. We've known each other since we were 16, though, so it's not a huge thing and he's also been single for longer than I have. ...
A. 12 February 2012: It's all human to have desires. Express to him that you know it's a funny thing for him but if he continues to tease you you feel uncomfortable, awkward and embarrassed around him. You need a roommate who gets along and feel good around each other. ... (read in full...)
He came to visit so we could meet in person, but I caught him talking on the phone with other women during his visit.
Q. Dear Aunts, I finally met the man I was talking to online, and that was afraid to meet because I am too shy and did not drive. We met in person two weeks ago, and he is the sweetest and most gentleman man I have ever met; he drove the whole time s...
A. 12 February 2012: Lying is always not cool, but people who you just met, with no certain future, are entitled to their privacy, so snooping is just wrong. I don't know if you have talked about being exclusive before going on a date. You can filter out men who are not ... (read in full...)
What to do with old sex tapes? When to get rid of them?
Q. I think it's fairly likely that I will be in a new relationship soon and I'm not quite sure what to do with sex tapes that were made with about 7 or 8 different partners over the past ten years or so. I suspect that if we become a couple she'd b...
A. 12 February 2012: Old tapes are of no value to me but this is not what your question is about. You can put them in a safe and hide it somewhere. I imagine if I am pure myself, 7-8 partners in ten years is quite high. ... (read in full...)
My past is haunting me. Who DO I love really?
Q. Hey,well im 17 and im feel very lost right now.well heres my story I used to date a guy about 2 years ago "yes i know young" but the problem is now im dating a NEW guy He's like everything a girl could ask for. He treats me like no other guy can...
A. 11 February 2012: A year and two months is a long time to be with someone you don't have feelings for. A good guy does not automatically make you fall in love. There are other factors like chemistry, compatability and common values. The thing that's missing could be ... (read in full...)
How can he so easily forget what we have? I'm blonde. His blonde jokes offended me
Q. Hello aunts. This guy and I met 4 months ago and things have been moving really smoothly infact, better than I had predicted. He checks on me a lot, calls me often and its the first time I've been in a relationship where the guy is so into me. We...
A. 11 February 2012: A dumb joke is enough to turn me off. Not that the joke would have any way pertain to the real you, it's his tackiness. There is no graceful response to this joke. To lessen his guilt he blamed you for the disconnect. Some men are pressured to have ... (read in full...)
It's complicated, but she doesn't want to put in the effort. I really do care for her!
Q. I have an issue. I am complicated with a girl that I've since highschool. We have gone out our senior year for a year into our freshman year of college (which was long distance) until complications got in the way. After our breakup, for about a...
A. 11 February 2012: You have to accept that there are people who would not settle for friendship when feelings are involved. When she says she thinks you shouldn't talk, she is disagreeing with you that this can be a healthy relationship. She is showing you that her ... (read in full...)
Should I question my girlfriend about her past relationships prior to proposing?
Q. I am thinking I want to get engaged to my girlfriend. We have been living together for some years now and it just feels like it's time to make it official. I don't know very much about her romantic past. I know she had a boyfriend who che...
A. 11 February 2012: You go into this for the purpose of understanding each other's preferences, and not to judge or fear being judged. You can learn from each other without talking about exes. You can generalize by asking what she learned from the past experience ... (read in full...)
I need to leave my husband! He is posting photos and soliciting sex on Craigslist!
Q. I just found out that my husband is been posting pictures of him and soliciting sex on craiglist. I am disgusted with the fact that he lied and never admitted to anything.He did apoligized after a long argument that we had. I dont trust him in any ...
A. 11 February 2012: Since you are married you don't simply just leave, and when you leave it should be forever. I don't believe in leaving as a punishment to reinforce good behavior. I would say a lawyer is the first place to start. Before that weigh in the pros and ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is going back to his old ways and I don't like it!
Q. Hi, long story cut short.. I need some advice on my boyfriend of nearly 2 years, everything's been great! I split up with him In October and cut a contact we had the biggest argument because he stopped calling and texting me he was being so weird! I ...
A. 10 February 2012: There are two options. You can either accept his cave man syndrome or you can stop allowing his bad behavior. When we women stop dating stubborn cavemen, maybe more will have no choice but to evolve into loving caring men. And no, replying to a ... (read in full...)
Is it love or compassion I feel?
Q. Okay cutting the whole story short about 3 or 4 months ago i was desperate to get out of a relationship with this girl. She was constantly depressed due to health/family/past-issues and problems and i just kept getting drained constantly i had...
A. 10 February 2012: Love can be a feeling but practically it's also a decision. If she is genuinely happy she should be so with or without you. Some compassion drives people to protect and nurture, while some run away not because they are selfish or incapable, but ... (read in full...)
How do you get from being friends to actually being a couple?
Q. Hey guys could really use your advice here! I’ll give you a little back story first just so the situation makes sense. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for just over three months now but it’s how that came to be that’s a bit complicated....
A. 10 February 2012: I think it's more personal to ask him this. If you are sure about him you should work as a team rather than guessing individually. The debate whether people can go from friends to couple is split into two opinions. Kissing can break the tension. How ... (read in full...)
Can you forgive a person after destroying your trust and crushing your heart?
Q. so my gf had been acting weirdly for months and i found out she had an affair with a man howeever she only saw him 3 times and only had sex once. she was on medications and depressed with an eating disorder and huge self esteem issues and at the ...
A. 10 February 2012: You can forgive a person so that the issue does not sting your heart anymore. Whether she is the right person for you is another story. You can simply decide that her good qualities do not outweigh her flaws and start fresh. You can forgive, support ... (read in full...)
How do you get from being friends to actually being a couple?
Q. Hey guys could really use your advice here! I’ll give you a little back story first just so the situation makes sense. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for just over three months now but it’s how that came to be that’s a bit complicated....
A. 10 February 2012: You have to know what you like about each other romantically. It's not very clear what you see in each other besides friendliness. Tension is not all bad. Without tension you are lukewarm as friends. He may not be fully ready for another ... (read in full...)
Why does everything get messed up but he keeps coming back?
Q. There's this fella and we have a weird relationship. We're really good friends but we fight so so much and we're like this uniffical couple aswell. We fall out all the time, but we Always work it out. He always comes back. We be great for a few ...
A. 9 February 2012: Why would you refer to him as good friend when there is sex and intimacy. Maybe that's where the tension lies. Only you could tell why you are arguing so much. He keeps coming back because there is passion and unpredictability. Focus on your ... (read in full...)
After three years it feels like he's not that into me any more
Q. Lately I have been feeling like my bf isn't really that into me anymore. We have been dating for almost 3 years now and we also live together and I guess were both just in our "comfortable stage". I feel like I'm starting to become more of his ...
A. 9 February 2012: First is not to take it personally. I bet you are not really into a guy who's addicted to the computer. If at first you knew he was like that you wouldn't have dated him. You are into finding out what changed, you are into seeking the love you lost. ... (read in full...)
My husband says I ask too many questions! How do I deal with it?
Q. i have been married for a year and my hubby says i ask too many unecessary questions?. he gets irritated. the problem is i dont seem to know what is ok and not ok to ask? eg, we went grocery shoping and he asked me to pick items. i asked him how ...
A. 9 February 2012: You tell him that he is expecting you to read his mind and he needs to communicate like an adult. I know this because my 6 year old talks like that and gets irritated when I try to clarify what he's saying.
The short answer to your question is I do... (read in full...)
Sexual woes bode ill for my romantic life?
Q. I've got a question which might seem a little silly but nevertheless, it pertains to a matter of some importance for me. To give you the rundown, I'm someone who watches porn on a daily basis and I fear this might have had insidious consequences ...
A. 9 February 2012: Porn is not real life. Not every man is meant to last for more than 30 minutes, let alone 10 minutes without cumming. In porn they cut and edit when the actors pause for a break. Sex is not the foundation of a relationship. Of course good sex and ... (read in full...)
Did or did he not cheat? Is he still?
Q. I was away for two weeks in September, while I was gone, apparently my boyfriend and best friend were doing alot of talking. It caused a huge argument and I stopped talking to my friend for a few months. Recently, I started talking to her again. I ...
A. 9 February 2012: Ask him why he isn't being sexual. The obvious reason being you are becoming parents and he needs a big mental adjustment. Tell him you still desire his sex. Ask him why your friend has to back off talking to you. Focus on what you want right now ... (read in full...)
Breakup up, becoming friends and getting back together?
Q. Hey guys, I have a few questions regarding my relationship. I would love to hear your opinions. I broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years after a nasty argument because "she couldn't love me they way I want her to" - She studies a full time post g...
A. 9 February 2012: I don't believe that a full time student is busier than full time working parents with children. Does that mean busy people do not love? Hell no. You are also studying law, so how come you can make the time, spend time thinking about the ... (read in full...)
Is the fact that she's pretty a good enough reason to ask her out?
Q. Ok so there's this girl i like and want to ask out but i dont know if i should. The only reason i want to ask her out is because she's gorgeous, i dont really know much about her. We see each other once a week due to work, and because we are working ...
A. 9 February 2012: Being attractive is the most obvoius reason to ask someone out. It doesn't mean you don't care about the insides, the personality. You can ask her if she is still single. Just keep in mind that some don't like to date coworkers. But you'd never know ... (read in full...)
Emotional affair and got caught
Q. Please give me advice as what to do. I had an emotional affair with a married man... I am married too. We never saw each other after the affai began but we had met previously thru work. We talked everyday and I loved him deeply. His wife caught ...
A. 9 February 2012: Ignore her. Your connection to your husband, your peace of mind is worth more than your curiosity about his wife. What she needs is understanding her part in the failing of her marriage, forgiving and moving on, or divorce if nothing solves. You are ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend like to choke me? How "rough" is normal?
Q. Hey there, So my guy and I have been together for two months or so now, and things seem pretty great. We see each other about once or twice a week, and usually we go out to dinner or to a movie. We have moved very fast emotionally and sexually...
A. 8 February 2012: See if he can explore gentle love making, tantra style love making. If he can only be aroused by being dominating, then he has a problem. There is a slut and goddess within you. If he only chooses to see the little girl slut side because it makes ... (read in full...)
What are people's thoughts on how to go about ending a LDR when the partner has health issues?
Q. Hi All For the last six months ive been unhappy with my LDR, the relationship itself is great when together however time apart is hell. Neither of us will give up our jobs (weve discussed it many times) because we both have safe jobs and the job...
A. 8 February 2012: When you are sure about ending a relationship, that would be the easy part because the first part is always the most difficult.
There will be haunting things in your mind, such as you are selfish, aren't sick people worthy of love too? Am I just... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's way too busy to settle down, but I don't think I can wait 4 years for him
Q. I need help soooo bad, and don't know what to do. About 3 1/2 years ago, my husband passed away from a tragic accident and left me with three kids. I dated a little afterwards, but never found anyone worth while. I stumbled upon an old friend fr...
A. 8 February 2012: It's hard to tell after 4 years if his heart is finally ready to settle down. You only went out with him a few times, so you can't really tell who he is because there might be things he hasn't told you. So you shouldn't feel like you should settle ... (read in full...)
On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1=not important and 10=most important, how important should sexual attraction be in a relationship?
Q. OK Aunts, here is something that has been troubling me. How important should sexual attraction be in a relationship? The reason I ask is because sometimes I think sex and sexual attraction is a distraction and sort of leads us down the wrong ...
A. 8 February 2012: I would rate it a 7. If you and your partner view sex highly, then it means you have one common value already. I would not rate it after common interests and compatability. It's equally important. It's just that when people get older you get a ... (read in full...)
How can I make him take notice of me like he used to?
Q. I wanna know how can I stop being so needy and flip the script to show him I can be good on my own. I wanna make him Chase me and work for me like he did when we first met... Me and and him been off and on for a year now, and I can't help it that I ...
A. 19 November 2011: When he was taking notice of you he was chasing you and that was part of his game. Some men chase for fun, some do it for real. You have to know that the excitement that comes with it is not love. Players say things to get you fall in love and then ... (read in full...)
How can I make him take notice of me like he used to?
Q. I wanna know how can I stop being so needy and flip the script to show him I can be good on my own. I wanna make him Chase me and work for me like he did when we first met... Me and and him been off and on for a year now, and I can't help it that I ...
A. 19 November 2011: You can't make him do anything or feel anything. I know that a break up is on you mind. You won't do it but at least you think about it. Let's be realistic, if most men get like this when things get comfortable, then a threat of a break up won't be ... (read in full...)
How do I overcome my boyfriends past behaviour and gain my confidence back, should I stay or go?
Q. Hello everyone, I would really appreciate some advice off both men and women please, I desperatly need help of some sort, as much as possible please. I am a 22 year old woman, my boyfriend is 32, I have been with him near 4 years now. He is my fi...
A. 19 November 2011: In porn, many actresses have small breasts. They are easy to look at (you don't wonder do those implanted breasts hurt when they jiggle), also small breasts make a woman look very virginal and fresh. Small breasts can also be very feminine. Big ... (read in full...)
New baby, but an unsupportive abusive husband. No wonder I'm depressed. What should I do to cope with all this pressure?
Q. I've been feeling very unhappy after I got married.. been feeling depressed..I had a baby 7 months ago; I have been staying at home watching the baby and my husband has been complaining about expenses. He 's been telling me I wish That he could be...
A. 18 November 2011: He is the one mentally unstable. The things he said to you didn't even make any sense. With or without the baby he is going to blow up whenever life gets unpleasant. He is too old to expect that a relationship is all leisure and comfort. I know that ... (read in full...)
Online dating etiquette...
Q. I am trying my hand at online dating after being newly single and out of an 8 year relationship. I keep getting bombarded with messages from men I am not interested in. If I ignore then they keep messaging me and plus I feel it is better to be ...
A. 18 November 2011: Either way people don't like getting rejected. Some have been there for a long time and for some reason, they are bitter because either they project negative energy, or they have nothing to offer in a relationship and therefore keep getting ... (read in full...)
How can I change my G/f's mind about sex? She's had some nasty experiences in the past but my friends' are nagging me about why its taking so long with her
Q. Hey guys, me and my gf have been dating for 5 months already. The thing is she's a virgin and I'm not, I of course care about her and do not want to pressure her into doing anything shes uncormfotable with. We've been talking about sex (well maybe ...
A. 18 November 2011: Talking is useless and all it does is create more fear in her. I suggest you take the pressure off of penetrating her, but instead warm her up to it by more foreplay, and less verbal persuasion. Develop sensual touches, discover her erogenous zones. ... (read in full...)
Are people joined at the hip once they marry?
Q. Once people get married are they joined at the hip? Do they get time outs like a week at a time, a few times a year? On average is this acceptable? Kids can survive without a parent once in a while right? Do you think giving partners time out will ...
A. 14 November 2011: All four of you are at least 10 years older than me but there are people your age who do the modern thing. Won't you think that if people have the choice to be single for a moment, then be family oriented for a moment, then there will be fewer ... (read in full...)
I have learned that my boyfriend has not healed from childhood sexual/physical/emotional abuse and have some questions for the aunts!
Q. I am asking a question here because I was talking to my boyfriend for 4 hours last night and neither of us has the energy to do that again today. We have a 3 year relationship. Whenever our relationship progresses into the next level, he would fi...
A. 13 November 2011: He has therapy in his work place. Today he is going to a sweatlodge for healing. The elders invoke spirits for healing. I hope it is helpful. It was very difficult for me to help him when he kept breaking up with me and coming back. I had my first ... (read in full...)
He's trying to stop drinking but it always ends in tears!
Q. I have had a horrible evening, my partner is trying to stop drinking, for the sake of ou relationship, its been happening for 3 years, he has stolen from me and others to get drink. i have ended this relationship time after time. because of ...
A. 13 November 2011: Where is your partner now? The worst that would happen to him is that he goes to jail. In order to protect yourself and your child he would indeed go to jail one day. In jail they offer free counselling and therapy. It is more than nonsense to go ... (read in full...)
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