A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My problem is this, i am/or was a happily married man of 22yrs w/3children. We had what i would consider very minor and infrequent everyday life problems that u plow thru as a married couple, like kids,money, etc... I recently discovered that when she went out with her facebook friends she wasn't always where she said she was going. Then i found out she had been in extremely close contact with 1 single male in particular. In a roundabout kind of way I was able to get her page with most info and inbox messages. From that and phone info it was quite obvious she was doing some heavy flirting for a married woman, along with obvious effort to hide it from me. As well as one of the places she was going was to be with him. Also a few secret emails and pictures, also secret fb inbox messages that cannot be found. To make a long story short, i have since confronted her, she claims innocence and that all the secrets and talk(mostly sexual innuendos) and taking off early from work to be with him, without my knowledge. and other things along those lines. I mean trust is out the window! what do I do from here? when I ask direct questions about specific issues I don't get an answer that is satisfying to me. Just hit by a train, im a little scuffed up. Any and all advice is tremendously appreciated!! I will be monitoring this regularly throughout the day since I'm not a registered user for answers and thanks again. One torn up dude
View related questions:
facebook, flirt, married man, married woman Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): She is lying. She is either having sex with him or about to.
Get a lawyer, change the locks, confront her with exactly what you know. Have her leave the house until she agrees to stop seeing him. And if she refuses to stop, get a legal separation.
Be blunt about what she will be losing.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2011): She's lying.
She's having an affair, and she hasn't told you a tenth of it.
That is what an affair is like.
How to find out the truth?
Hire a detective?
Tell her to leave, without the kids, till she gets to a decision point on which way she wants to live (with kids and husband or without kids and husband)?
Give her the book "Not Just Friends" by Nancy Glass as a present?
By the way, when people get caught in affairs, they lie their ass off more than you can believe, this is people you love and trust and who you think trust you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2011): Oh boy! Married for 22 years? The gym where I work out at is full of women in their forties who are clamoring for passion, affection, cute guys, excitement.....you name it. They all feel like they have been taken for granted, or that there's more to life than just being a wife and raising kids. Women in their forties/fifties seem to want recapture that romantic experience from days gone by. I don't know what to tell you as far as advice is concerned, but I'm glad that I'm single (in my forties)because I have been exposed to a lot of the shenanigans and trysts that wives with kids seem to subject their husbands to. But make no mistake about it, because they all blame it on their husbands; woman have this uncanny ability to get away with and rationalize deeds and actions that would make them scream **** murder if their husbands did it to them.
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (28 July 2011):
 When you ask open ended questions such as who is this guy and what did you do you are not going to get anywhere. Show her that you already knew what's going on but not reacting strongly to it, just acknowledge that you feel distance between you and her, and that you are willing to work on whatever issues in your marriage. Then contemplate on why she needs an affair, why she thinks that she can't get that spark from you, what she needs, etc, and what you need from her to feel loved.
...............................
|
