A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I lost my girlfriend about a month ago. It didnt end too well. She told me that we didnt have room in each others lives and that she has issues that she should have dealt with before getting me involved. It wasnt seeming very clear and I asked her to be more open into why she just stone cold dropped me. She says it's not her responsibility to explain herself to me. Like I said, it's been a month but I still find myself thinking of her and the good times we've had together. She'd not replying to messages or anything for that matter. I've not tried to call, I've not just showed up at her house or txt her. We broke up over FB and we've only talked on FB. I'm guessing it's impossible to get back together with her but is there any way to get back in contact and atleast be friends? I respect her perspective on things so much that i'd atleast like to be friends..
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2011): It's alot harder to give up someone that you truly love, than you'd think... I cant even get into contact with her. I'm not really sure how to. I dont want to intrude by calling or just showing up and that's why I havent done those already. I wish she were a bit more humanistic about how she made me feel. This was my question btw..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2011): Your desire to remain friends is based on romantic attraction not respect for her philosophy. And having that 'friendship' gives you some hope of building upon it in the future. Your ex knows this as well as you do which is why she isn't interested in keeping in touch.
Do yourself and her a favour and move on. The way she broke up with you was a bit offside, but you can't always get the clear and definite answers you want from life. She has told you what you need to know; that she no longer wants a relationship with you. THAT is really all that matters.
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A
male
reader, Yusha  +, writes (16 July 2011):
 Just leave her on her's way.. and find out a new girl for a new beginning..And If she really loves you.. She'll get back to you...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2011): just give her time and don't pressure her. Maybe in the future when things have cooled down and the distance makes the pain less, then she'll be able to talk as friends. it could take a while, like months or even years perhaps. So in the mean time you should find a way to move on and give yourself closure even if you don't know what went wrong.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2011): I guess it seems she said as much as she's comfortable sharing. You can't go nuts over this if she's being so defensive. I think you did have a right to know the whole story bc it was kinda rude and cold to say she doesn't owe you an explanation. Move on, don't text her. Maybe she'll come around later but I wouldn't hold me breath. Besides, she. Doesn't sound like friend material
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (16 July 2011):
 I don't think you should be friends with her. Why be friends with someone who doesn't want to be your friend, no matter how much you care for them? It's best to leave her alone because she doesn't want to talk to you, so let it be and let her deal with herself on her own.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (16 July 2011):
 Her actions are like a little girl trying to avoid responsibility to authority figures (such as parents) and therefore running away. You can make her feel safe to express herself by accepting what is. That she needs time and you are not pressuring to get back to how she was at the beginning. Just ask how her day was and talk about all that fun stuff in your life. Slowly by slowly convince her (not directly) that you two do have room for each other. If your contact with her is light and fun she is more likely to keep in touch with you.
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