| A
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Me and a guy i knew from school (we're 24 now) used to have a casual thing when we were both single. I'd never done "casual" sex before and after a while i began to have feelings for him. At one point i told him that i didn't think i could be casual anymore and he said that a real relationship wouldn't work because of the distance between us. He lives miles away from me but stays at his dad's when he's in town. I should have ended it then and there but i liked him so it carried on for a few more months. At one point we didn't see each other for about 3 months and during that time he got back together with an ex girlfriend. It really hurt when i found out but we stayed in touch anyway.We met up a few months later. It was supposed to be just for a drink and a chat but i guess the chemistry was still there and we slept together. After that we met up a few more times and kept doing the same thing. This went on up until recently when things came to a head. I went over to his and we talked for a bit then went upstairs. We just laid on his bed for a while and talked. He said he hoped i didn't think he just wanted one thing and that if i wanted it to happen that's great but if not that's ok too. Then we slept together. Afterwards he gave me a lift home and held my hand in the car. I told him that he should stay away from me and we can't keep doing what we're doing. He said he wasn't going to stay away and it wouldn't happen again. I removed him from Facebook so i couldn't talk to him or see anything about his girlfriend.A few weeks later he texts me a bit drunk and starts acting flirty and invites me over to his. I blow up and text him saying i'm not going to sleep with him then let him go back to her anymore and how much he hurt me. After i said that he got all serious and kept saying "sorry" every 5 mins and that he was so worried i thought the worst of him now. He kept going on and on asking me just to meet up and talk but i didn't. He text me the next day saying it was a shame he didn't get to see me.I tried adding him back on Facebook because honestly i miss him but he didn't respond so deleted it. It's been 2 weeks since we spoke or contacted each other and now i'm wondering if he'll ever speak to me again. Do you think i'll hear from him again?
View related questions:
drunk, ex girlfriend, facebook, flirt, got back together, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2011): He's using you, thinks very little of you, and you are letting him do it to you.
There is no chemistry, unless you call it chemistry to allow someone who has no respect for you to have sex with you.
You really should seek professional counseling, so you can begin to figure out why you allow this type of treatment.
This is not love, this is not affection, this is self destructive and poor self esteem.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (26 July 2011):
 Yes you will hear from him again. Basically you are waiting for each other to say no, ever again but your passion is betraying your decisions. If you are sure you can't handle casual, then you don't want to hear from him again. You should not encourage him living a double life. He is not the only man in the world who has great chemistry with you. If you find it hard to say bye to him forever, a gentler way is to not pick up his phone calls. After maybe 10 times he would really stop calling.
...............................
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (26 July 2011):
 Move on from this guy. There's no point hoping he's going to give you anymore than he already has. While you are invested in him you are closed off to other opportunities that come along. Go out and find someone you can have a real relationship with and be happy.
All the best!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2011): Yes, you'll hear from him when he wants sex again and he's sure you'll comply. What will probably end up happening is you'll contact him and then he'll know he can keep using you as a booty call.
...............................
|
