A
female
age
36-40,
*lapure4
writes:Hello Cupid! Recently, I befriended this guy who shares everything in common with me. We are both from the same state, love seafood, comedy and share an affinity for basketball to name a few. If our lives weren't constantly on-the-go, we could easily talk from sunrise to sunset because the conversations we have are so amazing. Even though I'm starting to develop some feelings for him, having a strong friendship is what I really want because it's the only thing that feels right at the moment. I have alot going on in my professional life where I can't dedicate time to one and he feels the same way. Plus, we both agreed that relationships only complicate things in the short run if no genuine friendship has been established. I'm trying to learn from past mistakes and not repeat them. In a nutshell, I'm concerned that if we keep talking on a regular basis that our connection will fizzle out and he will lose interest. On one hand, I want to remain anonymous but then not completely ignore his calls and texts..its inticing because I look forward to our conversations! So, should I purposely not answer his calls every other day? Second..what will he think if I decide to change the frequency in our dialogues from every other day to 3-4 days out of the week? This would greatly help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (22 July 2011):
 At first I would suspect that just talking would put you in a friend zone and nothing more. But I always think that guys are not great talkers and few of them can handle conversations longer than 15 minutes. For a young guy to continue talking to you and not expect anything, I suppose there is some love involved but would wait till you are ready.
Your mind and heart is in conflict. Perhaps a relationship could actually make things simpler because when you surrender your mind and heart would be at ease with each other. You can't tell your heart to just stop loving. There are two outcomes when you cut down on conversations. One is, that makes him want you even more. He would think of ways to actually meet you in person. Second one is, he thinks you are losing interest and begin talking to other girls. The latter one is less likely if you have an amazing connection to start with. You know that the conversations is not just for the sake of talking. You are sharing your life and your passion. It grows deeper and it can't just stay at the friendship level as much as you want to keep it that way. A relationship will complicate your life, it will give you emotional ups and downs, but the alternative is to be single, lonely and bored.
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