A
male
age
30-35,
*en345
writes:I'm a bit stuck. I don't want anyone to answer 'just be yourself', because it isn't that simple. I'm only 18 and still haven't really discovered myself. Sometimes I can be bubbly and confident [if perhaps a little annoying], and other times, deadly quiet and modest. I think the quieter 'me' is the real one, but like being louder so I'm not considered boring and don't get left out. Which do girls find more attractive? A cute, quiet, modest lad, or a confident, memorable, maybe even a little cocky guy? x Reply to this Question
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female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (5 August 2011):
Had a really cocky guy in my class. When I first laid eyes on him I was impressed: jet black hair, wolf blue eyes, dimples, the whole package. You'd expect all the girls to flock to him like flies on shit, but his cocky attitude turned them off, just as it did me. He ended up irritating everyone to no end with his attention grabbing look-at-me behavior.Don't try to be something and be yourself. No need to put up an act because you'll feel like a fraud and people will pick up on it. If you fear the bubbly and confident mask of you is perceived as annoying, it probably is. If you need to work on your confidence, do so by taking more initiative. But again, it's not bad to be quiet. It's bad to be non existent. Someone who listens intently for a while and then says something insightful is valued over the loud blah, blah, blah types. So make your mark the quality-over-quantity way. Don't say something for the sole purpose of not being boring because you'll probably end up saying rather forgettable things that way.So relax and stop caring about their opinions about you and loosen up. By simply being okay with who you are you'll radiate the kind of confidence you were looking for. I like guys who are at ease with themselves. Most girls do.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2011): Quiet and intelligent type. A man's looks may be the initial attraction but wit and humour--not cockiness-- keep you coming back for more!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2011): Quiet for sure. Cocky guys are dick heads for boyfriends. Honestly, its about being confident not quiet or cocky
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A
female
reader, Rebeccaa +, writes (4 August 2011):
 Hi, every girl is different and likes different kind of boys, Some might like cocky bad boys, some like realy sweet smart quiet ones, and other girls (like me) like somwhere inbetween, not too quiet and shy but not too cocky, personally i don't like cockiness, i like a boy who is not shy and quiet one who will talk to me, but not one who is too loud either i find loud boys a bit annoying and immature.I hope i helped :)
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (4 August 2011):
 Hello, well first of all both as you probably know has the same amount of down sides, if you are often quiet people tend not to recognise you and sometimes think you could be insecure and shy which is most the time is a turn off for girls, but its good side is that at least if you don't say anything girls who are confident enough will speak to you first. With being cocky, girls can find you to be extremely arrogant, and irritating and even a bit too loud if you make out to be "all that" and people find out it isn't true you can be classed as a liar as well, however girls are more likely to see you as a confident person who is not afraid of sharing their opinions. As a girl i think it is good to have the equal balance of both, like Annalisa said its good to be able to have a simple intresting convorsation instead of being the life and soul of the party. I think many girls will find you attractive if you are confident enough to have a good conversation and make the first move and hit on them first and things like that, but you're not overly confident to the point where you can be concidered as annoying. Best of luck x
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 August 2011):
 "Bubbly" guys scare me.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (4 August 2011):
 Quiet doesn't mean boring. It's important to leave a good impression on the first date. Even if you don't dominate the whole conversation, make the best jokes, at least you have to have a lot to share about yourself. See if you can do this genuinely and try not to make it obvious that you are selling yourself. Honestly, I feel that guys who try to appear humorous by joking, are annoying. Equally important is that you show interest in the girl. Attraction is an emotional instinct, you can not describe it logically why you are attracted to someone. You either click or you don't. What makes a good date is that you make a girl feel like you two are the only one that matters in the whole world, as if time stopped.
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