A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:For the past few years, I have had sexual fantasies of my sexy cousin. I have wanted to do anything and everything to her. I don't care if she is blood, she is so sexy. I want to have sex with her, and i am not sure as to how i should tell her. When we were little, we did kiss and make out, but that was about 12-14 years ago. I want to know the best way to ask her if she wants to be my fuck buddy? Please help. Do not repsond if you say its gross. I don't care.
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male
reader, oliver1  +, writes (5 December 2010):
don,t do it it will cause all sorts of problems later on ,AND YOU WILL GET CAUGHT .
A
male
reader, legolas  +, writes (3 December 2010):
Poor guy.. nobody has answerd the question he originally asked.. neither would i, because u could think of fucking your sexy cousin..but just keep it to thinking. the brother sister relation is supposed to be sacred not a sexual one. maybe you could masturbate to her fantasies and remain happy..or... ask her straight away, if you are a braveheart and dont care for the future.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): let me teach you... girls don't evenlike to be asked to be a booty call by guys they're not related to.
girls don't like dealing with drama (you know, like comes from sleeping with a family member.
girls have feelings.
girls can slap really hard when they're mad.
I know these things about girls because I am one.
if you read this and still feel like asking her to jump into bed would be a good idea then go for it. If not, take a cold shower and tell your little friend to lay down.
Abby
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): I have a cousin that looks at me probably the same way you are looking at your cousin. I can tell you first hand that although we get along and I think he's really nice the idea grosses me out. He has asked we hang out several times but I get an overly friendly vibe from him so I don't. It's made things uncomfortable over the years so even though we could've been great friends we rarely speak. I don't know what relationship you have with her but if you want to preserve her friendship I would advise you keep quiet about your feelings and rent some porn for release. Whatever you do, grow up and find someone else who is within your reach.
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A
female
reader, kalykush +, writes (2 December 2010):
 wow this is the best thread ever.... and im not refering to the question...
i do love dirtball's reply... i know i was thrilled when my serious bf decided we should be just fuck buddies... i believe my response was something along this line...
wtf? a year and now we are fuck buddies? -insert punch in the face here- and me turning away and leaving...
have fun with that...
as for telling her your feelings... GO FOR IT... but be warned she's your cousin... so i'd wear old clothing that can withstand vomit :)
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 December 2010):
 Well which is it, do you want a fuck buddy or do you want to know if she has feelings for you? Last time I checked, feelings aren't an option when it comes to fuck buddies.
Unless you know both know sign language or you're telepathic then it looks like you're going to have to verbally ask her. In which she'll probably freak out and tell her aunt (your mother). Who just might look into getting you psychological help. No, it's natural to fantasize about screwing your cousin in fact it's rather disturbing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): thats probly not a good idea...
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A
female
reader, josephy  +, writes (2 December 2010):
 Excuse mw!!you don't love her, you just wanna F**k her.
Where did the respect go. huh
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (2 December 2010):
 Sarcasm?!?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 December 2010):
 A couple of thoughts for you here. One, unless you have evidence to the contrary, assume she doesn't have sex with any guy who asks her. (I recognize that in other parts of the world, cousin relationships are not considered taboo. Here in the US, for the most part, they are, so work with that assumption, okay?)
The point dirtball is making, in his ironic way, is that what you are proposing to do is unbelievably insulting to a girl who doesn't mess around with guys. You're basically asking her if she's a slut. Most girls would hate having that assumption made about them. Even girls who DO sleep around don't like to be considered a sure thing. It's deeply insulting, okay? Get that through your empathy-challenged testosterone-laden brain. You are insulting the girl by asking her that.
The other thing you fail to take into account is the potential aftermath. What happens if it all turns to crap? What if she gets attached to you, as girls often do with the guys they have sex with. We females tend not to be as good at FWB because the act of sex tends to release chemicals that create an attachment. What if she falls for you, big time? What if she thinks you two can date, like officially? So you are going to be expected to drive over and pick her up and take her to the movies and pay for dinner and do all of this right under your parents' watchful eyes. Your parents, who are siblings. Brothers and/or sisters. How well will this go down with Mom and Dad?
Look, it's not uncommon for cousins to be attracted to one another. I thought my older cousin was very handsome too but there was no way that his Mom and my Mom would have been okay with us dating.
I'm pretty sure your cousin would be flattered that you think she's hot. I'm also pretty sure she'll be insulted that you think she's good for a no-strings fuck. You're in a lose-lose situation. For 5 minutes of physical pleasure, you are willing to create a ridiculous situation. The risk-benefit ratio is not in your favor, man. It's kind of funny to see how blinkered you are. Can't see past the end of your zipper, that's a problem.
So
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (2 December 2010):
 The best thing to do is just ask her, I guess. But be warned, if my cousin ever came on to me I would probably throw up first, slug him and then tell his Mom. And I am a really sweet, peaceful, steady-stomached, open minded person (if I do say so myself). There is just no way... for me, family is family and that is that.
So go ahead and ask if you must, but know that you could be screwing up the family dynamic. I would feel very uncomfortable around my cousin after such a confession. And if she tells another relative, soon everyone will know and you may find yourself being judged and in a mess of drama. Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionahahah dirtball, your sarcasm amuses me...
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (2 December 2010):
You want to know if she has the same feelings as you do. Ok.
1st) Tell her your feelings.
2nd) Ask, "Do you feel the same way about me?"
Make sure to slip in the phrase "fuck buddy." You saw how many of the women here agreed with me! They LOVE IT!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlet me re phrase. I dont want her to be my fuck buddy, I want to know how to ask her if she has the same feelings as I do.
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (2 December 2010):
 Okay look. Dirtball is absolutely right.
Just keep that to yourself, the last thing she wants to know is that you think of her that way. SHE will think it's GROSS.
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A
female
reader, AgonyAuntiee93 +, writes (2 December 2010):
Dont ask her to be your fuck buddie;
she will be crushed at the thought of it!
fantasize, do whatever;
dont tell her or your family;
it'll tear them apart;
sorry to be harsh;
but its the truth; 3
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 December 2010):
I think guys your age can have fantasies about a tree if it's shaped just the right way. I diagnose a hormonal firestorm, which has depleted bloodflow to your reasoning centers in your brain. This, coupled with the extreme narcissism common in teenagers, means you're thinking with your little head, instead of the sensible head. It may take some years for this to resolve.
I'm assuming you've never asked a girl to be your fuck buddy. As dirtball's post so exquiisitely points out, it's not what we want to hear. The reason you think you can approach your cousin is that you know her better than the other girls you know. Kind of a proximity thing.
I prescribe keeping your fantasies just that, fantasies. Family lifewill be a lot better if you haven't sexually harassed your parents' niece. Parents are funny that way.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (2 December 2010):
 Why on earth would you tell her about this fantasy?
You need to get professional help before you tear your family apart.
Nobody on here is going to tell you what you want to hear.
You obviously know its wrong...
Seriously, go find another poor girl you can crush on.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (2 December 2010):
Women just love being asked to be someone's fuck buddy. It's every little girl's dream that one day a handsome man will get down on one knee and say those magic words, "Will you be my fuck buddy?" They melt at the thought of it!
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