A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Boys, would you like it if a girl u were interested in told you she liked talking to you? Or would you lose interest in her b/c u'd think she was easy to get? I told a guy i liked talking to him, hes a shy guy and i wanted to reassure him that i was interested. Now ithink i made a bad move because he might be like oh she likes me now ....How would u feel if you liked a girl and she told you this? But then she didnt make any other moves after EVER.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionu guys were right, by saying this he opened up more :) thanks boys!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (3 December 2010):
 Before I begin my work, let me tell you that, in this time and age, some of us take whatever comes from the mouth of a woman very literally. We might have a suspicion or two, we might even take the hint, but we try to understand that in the simples, most verbatim way. Meaning that if you told ME that you "like talking to me", I would take it to mean that you "LIKE TALKING TO ME". I wouldn't take it to mean that you want a piece of me, because, if something went wrong, you'd claim you said you "LIKE TALKING TO ME". Get it?
Even if I'm just paranoid or freak or whatever, WOMEN, PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU READ "THE RULES": SPEAK YOUR MIND. If you want a piece of the man, say it. Don't just drop hints he might not understand.
Personally, I think it's kind of foolish to "give him" three days. If you like the man, put your cards on the table and see where that leads you. Don't wait for the man to take the hint and sneer him if he is not smart, or assertive or whatever enough to understand what you meant.
Also, if he happens to have someone, you'll know immediately and that will be the end of your problem.
Happy putting the cards on the table!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): If women act unobtainable, they have a tendency to remain unobtained.
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male
reader, Cupid Boy  +, writes (3 December 2010):
 I have to agree with everything Jmtmj said.
The guy actually has been initiating way more than you, calling you every few days and saying nice things to show he cares about you. Then you give out one tiny, platonic compliment and expect some big change from him.
btw, readers of "The Rules" are major game players who follow a manipulative script. Being the first to say "I like you" isn't anyone's "job".
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (3 December 2010):
 Here's another great quote.
"Your job is to treat the man you're really really crazy about like the man you're not that interested in. Don't call, be busy, do all of this from the beginning, from day one, from the second you meet him, or should we say- the second he meets you."
and another...
"Perhaps a therapist would say that men are shy, but we believe that most men are not shy, just not really really interested if they don't approach you."
I could go on and on, but my point is that "The rules" has done more harm for women everywhere than it has good and
I absolutely believe that 100%. It might be a good book if every guy and every girl in the world was exactly the same, but we ain't.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (3 December 2010):
Ahh yes, "the rules"
"The purpose of the rules is to make mr right obsessed with having you as his by making yourself seem unobtainable" ... page 4
UNOBTAINABLE...
Yeh... winning advice there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhave you REAED THE RULES? dude, i initiated a lot in the past and it blew up in my facee everytime, in fact i love being the pursuer, i love being the first to kiss, to be the dominant onee, but it doesnt help me ever! idk, i make men run away from me and im so cute too lol i dont get it :(
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male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (3 December 2010):
Kinda asking for this to back fire on yourself by putting a 3 day deadline on this, he's not a mind-reader and there's no point playing games like this. Especially when the other person doesn't know the game's even started, let alone the rules.
Doesn't sound to me like you put yourself out there at all to be honest... You gave him a generic compliment that is socially acceptable to say to someone you just met 5 minutes earlier. Putting yourself out there involves risking or actually showing your intentions- (ie, making it clear that you're interested in more than just a platonic friendship.)
I really don't think you've done that if you're only basing it on that one statement... not to mention he's a shy guy and probably needs more signals that its actually ok for him to make a move.
One more thing... if its a "man's job" to say "I like you", what exactly is the woman's job? Ironing? C'mon, it ain't the 1950's no more ya know.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni will go cold because i put myself out there, and if he doesnt wana take that then im going cold for sure. That means if he doesnt initiate convo now. I told him this so he'd call me more, hes the one who calls me but not everyday, its like every 3-4 days, sometimes cuz ill message him online and he'll say let me call. this is fairly new, he has said some nice thigns to show me he cares about me, but i cant wait around so im giving him 3 days, and im not making any contact. if he doesnt contact me, im done. but if he does contact me, no im not gona go cold, ill just be normal. i do not wana b the first to say i like you. thats a mans job.
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male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (3 December 2010):
So lemme get this straight...
You told him that you LIKE TALKING TO HIM.
You didn't tell him that you LIKE HIM.
These are two very different things. If he's a shy, nice guy then he's probably heard "I like talking to you" a million times from girls who just wanted to be friends. Saying that really doesn't send off as big of a signal that you're interested in him as more than a friend than I think, you think it does.
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male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (3 December 2010):
I think most men would love it if a girl told them she likes them. Is the man in question somewhat engaged or committed or in love or whatever?
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male
reader, Cupid Boy +, writes (2 December 2010):
Ok, I'm not really a "typical" guy but for me it would be great if a girl was that direct. Especially since I'm quiet too and tend to assume girls aren't interested even if they seem to be doing other subtle, nonverbal flirting. If the girl didn't make any moves after, I might think she had changed her mind or something. But shy guys can also get more nervous if they know for a fact that a girl likes them because I guess it makes them self-conscious of their behaviour and they don't want to be a disappointment.
Anyway, nice to know quieter guys aren't universally loathed by girls, that at least some women find them sort of okay.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (2 December 2010):
 I'd be confused. I wouldn't be put off if a girl told me she liked me. BUT, if she said she liked me and then went cold toward me, I'd be confused and upset.
If you like him, there is no problem with you telling him. This isn't the 50's anymore. Just don't go cold afterword.
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