A
female
age
41-50,
*ina amor
writes:I am 5 months pregnant with my boyfriend of a year. I broke up with him at 9 weeks. He was layed off from his job and I was working 2 jobs at the time. I would come home and he was never there, claiming to be looking for jobs (at 9pm at night). I knew something was not right and considering i was emotional going through my first trimester, I fell into a bit of depression. I couldn't take it anymore and told him to leave. I was shocked, he left and I didn't hear from him for weeks. He wanted this baby more than ever, its all he talked about which made this even more difficult to believe. It turns out, he is living with a probation officer from the same unit where he is on probation. He has a lot of court cases, lengthy probation and could be facing jail time. Not that this matters but he is extremely attractive and I would never in a million years suspect him being with this girl, but he is. 2 months went by and he started calling me and coming over. We started having sex, he tells me how much he loves me and he wants to love back with me but he needs to stick it out with this girl until his court cases are over cuz she is helping reduce probation, etc. Trouble is, I find myself going out of my way for him way too much, I understand he "might" just be using this girl (his family says he is) but i feel he respects her and caters to her way more than me. The other issue is if i allow him back in my life, my family will disown me and they are the ones there for me throughout this pregnancy. So I love him, want to have a family, but have to hide it from my family which is becoming extremely hard for both to deal with. I am so hurt, lonely, confused and don't know what to do. He also asks me for money occasionally which is why I cut ties with him although i am missing him like hell. Any advice is appreciated.
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (4 January 2011):
 Thanks for the update. Be strong. He isn't worth it, baby or not. What kind of role model would he be?
A
female
reader, mina amor +, writes (3 January 2011):
mina amor is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHmm...very interesting! Well I guess he played himself because that's a tough one to hold back. Turns out, both her parents are cops and he has an assault of an officer on his record. Apparently, her parents found out and they are no longer together. U can never believe con artist stories though. Yesterday, she dropped all of his belongings on my lawn! This is when I reallyly need to get strong. Thanks for all of the great information...I will keep you posted!
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (3 January 2011):
FWIW, I checked with my father, who was a probation officer for 20 years, what the consequence would be for the situation you describe. He told me two things. First, any probation officer caught having such a relationship would be at a minimum terminated, and if a sexual relationship was found could be prisoned for up to 7 years. Second, a probation officer has nearly zero influence over sentencing, so his story about that being the reason is bullshit.
You should leave this poor excuse for a man. He's playing you.
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A
female
reader, mina amor +, writes (30 December 2010):
mina amor is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou are so right and I have been holding back. If there wasn't a baby involved, I would have no trouble doing that. I know he wants to be in our daughters life and either know he is a piece of s&#, I know he will be a great father. Besides, I think she might be the one to get in trouble, not him. Thanks for your feedback.
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A
female
reader, mina amor +, writes (30 December 2010):
mina amor is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou are so right and I have been holding back. If there wasn't a baby involved, I would have no trouble doing that. I know he wants to be in our daughters life and either know he is a piece of s&#, I know he will be a great father. Besides, I think she might be the one to get in trouble, not him. Thanks for your feedback.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (30 December 2010):
So, you'd want to be with someone who would use a girl just to reduce his sentence. What a great guy. Really. He's perfect in every way.
Get serious. What they are doing is illegal. What you SHOULD do is call the supervisor of the department and rat him out. Then he can go back to jail where he belongs and she can lose her job like she should.
He's such a player he can even play the system and those enforcing it. Impressive.
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