A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey there. I really need someones help. I'm 19 years old. Me and my ex boyfriend broke up. We been together for almost 2 yrs. Before we ever started dating, I had gotten out of a relationship a few months before we stared dating. I was in high school then but after my breakup with my 1st boyfriend I stayed single for a while. My friend who was very shy (which I found adorable) pulled me to the side and told me how he actually gelt about me. How told me that he had fell In Love with me and he was head over heels for me but he couldn't tell meehow he felt until bc I was in a relationship. He told me whe. He first met me he felt a connection with me and he would get a little jealous and sad that I already had someone. Months after our breakup my friend asked me out. When hung out and everything. It was so perfect. He told me he was in love with me way before I told him I loved him. But as we started hanging out more I started falling for him too. Before me, he dated 2 other girls but they never loved him. He went to middle school and dated one of his ex's but she ended up cheating on him. He took her back and she swore she would never hurt him again... But she cheated again so he left her. The 2nd girl he been with, he met online. He lives in North Carolina but she lived in another part of North Carolina. They never met in person before. Somehow he ended up finding out she cheated on him with multiple guys and she ended up pregnant. He gave her another chance but things didn't work out. Now she has two kids. When me and my ex met, we were just friends and he had strong feelings for me. He asked me out on a date and things were great. I was his first real everything, his first kiss, his first love, his first everything. I was the first girl his parents ever met and loved to this day, he was a virgin when we first got together but I wasn't anf he knew bc I told him. I loved me NC I was honest with him. He use to always show love and affections ( always writing me love stories, notes, songs) we always hung out on weekends (he would always wanted me to come to his house) he would try and do anything to see me and be witn me. Things were great until all of a sudden things like that stop. I took a chance on him. I gavebjim everything I had. ( when I first met him he was quiet and shy around me but also outgoing which I loved) but he somehow changed. We actually never really argued... That most we say to eachother is through txts msging and the only thing we "argue" argue about I'm quite and he automatically assume I don't want to be with him which isn't true at all. He use to keep me at his house until 1 or 2a.m. Then I have to wake up to get ready for school at 5a.m. (I was a junior when we started dating) he would always be the one breaking up with me for no reason and then claims I broke up with him. Our relationship has been on and off. But our last breakup he told me he wanted to see if what he felt for me was real or not. I was heart broken but he couldn't tell if I was or not bc I tried not to show him. 3 weeks ago his cousin wanted me to come visit her and her and her twin sis before she went back to NYC. So me and my 2nd boyfriend broke up, I went to visit his cousin but the bad thing is is that they were staying at his house. When I got there he was staring at me. He said 'Hey' and I spoke back nicely. And continued to chat woth his twin girl cousins. For some reason he kept hanging around outside the room and then he ended up knocking on the door and pulling up a chair to sit across from me while I was sitting on his cousin bed. He kept peeking a eye at me. And the for some reason he was wearing s shirt I brought him for out first Christmas he was wearing it. Its like everytime I see him he is always wearing the clothes I brought him. But anyways, about 3 weeks ago some girl wanted to be friend on Facebook (eve though I didn't know her I just accepted her) the next day he txts me and asked me how I know her and I him I didn't know her, she just sent me a friend request...I didn't want tk be mean and not accept her. So he told me I was trying get in his business when I had no idea she was on his page bc he had added her to his page 2 days before she sent me a friend request. I told him I was happy for him and I didn't know she knew him. I wasn't trying to get any trouble started so I deleted her. He got mad at me ( like always) and claime. He made me so upset to the point I said 'I'm not trying to mess up anything you have with her. I'm happy for you. I have no reason to be jealous bc I'm happy where I am.' But the worst thing I said I wish I could take back was 'I have no reason to benjealous, its not like I still have feelings for you or love you anymore.'I regret saying that in a txt msg bc he didn't reply back. The next day after what I said, he changed his relationship status to married to the girl whi sent me the friend request. It broke my heart. I didn't mean to say what said I knew it wasn't true. He usually say things that makes me upset or hurt me. He even told me heehated me just bc he was mad for no reason. I love him so much and we been though so much its hard giving up on him. But the crazy thing is is that I was his girl real girlfriend and not some girl he met off the internet. Now the girl he "says" he married to lives in Arkansas and he lives in North Carolina and she already told him she loves him after only a few days of knowing eachother and he said he love her too. They never met in person before and he actually told his best friend that he hates long distant relationships but he's in one with someone he never met. I need some help. I really want him back but I want him to realize thay he gave up on something good. Both of our family love eachother, when we won't together he brought me 12 dozen pink roses with candy for my birthday when we won't together, he was the first person to tell me happy birthday at 12a.m. On the dot. On Valentine's day he sent me a Teddy bear that says I love you when I was single, ect... What does all of this mean? He sent me all the stuff before he met that girl. I know him he gets really tired of a relationship really quickly and will find a way to destroy it somehow. But for reason my relationship with him was the longest he has ever been in before. I need some advice. How can I male him miss and want me back. I want him to realize what he had woth .e was real and I was the only one who had his back when he was down. I want him to regret leaving me for someone he never have or will meet in person.. Why won't he return my love letters and I sent him? Why won't henlet them go? He broke my heart so much I didn't tell him I deleted him from my page bc I want him to miss me and wish I was there with him bc we both know he's only doing to try and make me jealous but its not working.. I want him to see how his life is without me. Hopefully he'll realize I was the only person thay ever stood by his side when things was rough. But until then ima focus on my life and maybe love will find its way back to us. He will always have my heart
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best friend, broke up, christmas, cousin, facebook, fell in love, his ex, I love you, jealous, met online, my ex, shy, the internet Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (30 December 2010):
 Ok, I think I followed that. Basically there is nothing you can do. Walk away. He has a lot of maturing to do. Honestly, he sound like a prick. I know that sounds harsh. "But you don't know him!" Here's the thing. Because I'm separated from it, I see his behavior without the blur of love clouding my vision. He's an immature prick. Could he change? Maybe. Do those things he did mean anything? Probably, but at the same time all he seems to be doing now is hurting you.
Sometimes when you love someone, you just have to let them go. They may realize what they lost and come back, or they may find their own happiness somewhere else. You need to take that risk.
You have the right attitude about focusing on your own life for a while. Do your best to find happiness without him. Ignore him. Don't text, email, nothing. It would be best if you didn't visit with his family either. That's not appropriate anymore.
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