A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Recently I started hanging out and getting to know a co worker. Everything is going great between us, but they are having issues with their ex (3 kids together). My question is how long would be a fair time to give them to take care of the ex issues before giving up? We are not dating yet, waiting till things calm down. I don't want to get into a relationship that starts out with nothing but drama, and she doesn't want me to get dragged into it. We have talked about dating and both want to, but not sure how long would be far to both of us to wait for the issues/drama to simmer down.Thank you
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (30 December 2010):
 Ok, so you've got some time yet before things calm down. A relationship like that takes a lot of time to get over. 7 months is a good start, but I would bet it will take longer.
Perhaps you can do some small stuff together without getting too serious. Go on some dates and such, but don't commit. Perhaps easing into something will be both a stress relief for her, but not so much of a commitment that she freaks out or you get sucked into the drama.
The best thing you can do is keep the lines of communication open. Don't let things get stale between you two.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2010): I think you are very wise to let things calm down and not get involved yet. Keep it on a friendship level and just see how things go. I don't think you can put a time limit on such things.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (30 December 2010):
 hi
no straight answer to this. you'll just have to wait and see. it'll take as long as it takes for things to calm down. in the meantime its good to see that neither of you want to rush into a relationship. before you start a relationship you need to be sure that the break up from the ex is not just a rough patch and they end up back together. also a relationship with someone who's ex is not accepting it is a total nightmare and lots of trouble. so the length of time you will have to wait is a very variable thing, and depends on who is causing the drama and what does the drama relate to
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo my knowledge they were dating for 4+ years and have been broke up for 7 months now.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (30 December 2010):
When kids are involved you'll never be completely rid of the drama. If you both are planning on getting together, you just need to give her the time she requires. It's different for everyone.
How long has it been since they broke up? Were they married or just dating long term?
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