A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend has been putting hands on me for while and gets outta control when we get into arguements sometimes. I am 20 and he is 20 years older than me. He always says the things I do causes him to do what he does. I really started thinking that I really was the cause of all that. But I know now thats not true, there's no excuse for abuse. I have told him that and he says he wants to change but he says that a lot but I really believe he does when he says it. I'm now pregnant and he still continued to do it. I do not know what to do. He says he means it this time and wants to change. I told him this was the last chance. It's just so hard because I don't want to give up on this relationship and I'm hoping there's someway I could help stop this. Please let me know if there's any suggestions or advice on how I can help the situation. I just want everything to change and work out for the baby's sake. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xxbuggabu24xx +, writes (30 December 2010):
 Things wont change. I was in a abusive realtionship for 2 years i am now almost 21 and he just turned 30. I was pregnant with him and last christmas he kicked me in my stomach and i lost the baby. He was very abusive and always told me it was my fault and that we needed to change but i couldnt change because i wasnt doing anything wrong other then letting some man put his hands on me. I left him this past summer and it was hard it was very hard i wont lie. I couldnt sleep i was always crying but i got thru it i stayed stronge and i am now. with a man closer to my age who is supportive and kind and my nest friend and i couldnt be anymore happy. Ive also learn ed and this isnt always the case but most of the time it is that older men that get with a young lady are more likely to control and abuse her. If you need to talk or need anymore help you can message me i will get back to you. Your young and only live once dobt make the same mistake i did and please get away from him.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (30 December 2010):
 He'll say that every time. He does not mean it. Put the bastard in jail where he belongs!
Abusive people don't change. They always say they will. They talk a good game. It's how they shift the blame for their actions to you. You don't make him hit you. There is NEVER an excuse for abuse. NEVER.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2010): "always says the things I do causes him to do what he does"
Not true, classic story of an abuser who knows what he is doing and how to excuse his behavior.
Get out, get help, call the police, contact a domestic violence hotline now.
The baby, well, if you have a boy and you put up with this he will treat women the same way, if it is a girl and you put up with it she will allow herself to be treated the same way.
Get help NOW.
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