A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have two questions. When you break up with a boyfriend, especially when it was a serious relationship, do you trash/give back gifts, or anything that reminds you of him? And by getting rid of those things, does it make you get over him faster, make you feel more in control, or what other reasoning do you have? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2010): I think it helps to get rid of these things. You could give them to charity, and then not only you, but someone else, will benefit - the person who gets it cheap and the charity itself.
A
female
reader, Tbosse  +, writes (30 December 2010):
 I would not give them away, for memory's sake.and that they were given to me.some are very expensive to destroy.put them away, allow yourself to heal then you'll be fine.goodluck
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (30 December 2010):
 hi
i would suggest that if it hurts you at the moment to see the gifts, quickly put them in a box and put them somewhere that you wont see them (attic, spare room etc) you can decide what to do with them in the future when you are not feeling as raw
xx
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A
male
reader, shawncaff +, writes (30 December 2010):
 I recently felt I needed to purge myself of all emails, files, and online photos of the woman whom I had broken off from. I think it helped--but my case might have been particular.
The reason I got rid of that stuff was because I felt like the person with whom I had been in a relationship with was not the person I imagined. So purging myself of the material was just a reminder of how I feel I was manipulated and led on. It also helped me to feel more in control, and to open myself to new and better relationships without being bogged down by memories.
But I think if you had an honest relationship it might be different. Maybe the old stuff can serve as a memory of your life, rather than of the ex. When you are 80, you can look back and reflect on this as an experience of growth. I guess it all depends on how hurt and bitter you feel now.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (30 December 2010):
 People do different things. I typically don't get rid of that stuff. Definitely don't give anything back unless it was just given very recently. Some people will have a bonfire and destroy any memory of that person. Some people will put those things in a box and pack them away. It all depends on what things we're talking about.
I have some keepsakes from all my relationships. They're good for a stroll down memory lane sometimes. That's me though.
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