How do I respond to my wife now I know about the affair she had with my (then) best friend behind my back?
Q. I just found out that my wife had a sexual relationship with my best friend and the best man at my wedding. This happened 26 years ago! We had been dating exclusively for 4 months at the time. Even though it was so long ago, I feel like it could've...
A. 20 February 2017: thank you for the update. However I do feel it is unfair that you are able to forgive one and not the other. But however that is your choice. I do hope that your marriage can work. ... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 11 January 2017: You need to stay away from your cousin or else you will end up having all off your family having a big huge fall out and over nothing because you will then realize that it was a crush not love but your family will never trust you again. You need to ... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 28 October 2016: Just because you are going to see her next year does not mean you need to talk to her now. If you leave her alone you will be well over her by then.... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 17 October 2016: That is a good thing, now you stop texting her. ... (read in full...)
Losing V card in a hookup good idea?
Q. I've been considering this a lot...I was thinking a hookup would be a good idea. I like the idea because I don't want to be romantic with the guy or see him again. BUT everyone says it's a horrible idea to have a hookup to lose your V card and you ...
A. 11 October 2016: Nobody mentioned sexual assault or rape. We mentioned that he might not be up for doing specifically what you want him to do. Unless he forces you to do something or does not stop when you say no then he is doing nothing wrong. Sweetie you don't ... (read in full...)
Losing V card in a hookup good idea?
Q. I've been considering this a lot...I was thinking a hookup would be a good idea. I like the idea because I don't want to be romantic with the guy or see him again. BUT everyone says it's a horrible idea to have a hookup to lose your V card and you ...
A. 6 October 2016: Nobody is insulting you, you asked the question you should be open to what people are saying to you, nobody is being rude, everyone is just concerned about your point of view. Probably because most have experienced sex and they don't want you to be ... (read in full...)
Losing V card in a hookup good idea?
Q. I've been considering this a lot...I was thinking a hookup would be a good idea. I like the idea because I don't want to be romantic with the guy or see him again. BUT everyone says it's a horrible idea to have a hookup to lose your V card and you ...
A. 5 October 2016: I am sorry OP but I think you are being naive here, you have a image in your head, but if you are going to hook up with some random guy, he is going to want to have sex with you, not listen to what you want, he will do it his way, he won't care ... (read in full...)
I love my husband but sex with older man is passionate!
Q. Hi, I've been married for just over a year I'm 23 and my husband is 27. We have been together for 4 and a half years and ever since we have got married everything has changed even though we have a daughter together and we lived with each ...
A. 5 October 2016: I also agree that you should be honest with your husband, sometimes secrets and lies have a way off coming out and it would be better he heard it from you than someone else. ... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 5 October 2016: At 14 you should not even be thinking about marriage, legal or not it could turn out very messy. You are to young to be getting in to something like this. Treat her as a friend. Your crush will fade.... (read in full...)
Why am I never enough for boys , please read!! need advice
Q. Hi, my story is lengthy however I need advice seeing as I constantly am allowing myself to be in situations where I feel less of myself. I am 19 years old and I was never a huge relationship girl in high school because i valued relationships and ...
A. 5 October 2016: In his mind he knows deep down he is doing wrong, he is using his age to manipulate young girls. I think deep down you know that there is something wrong here and that is why you have not told your mother his age. She probably thinks this is just ... (read in full...)
Losing V card in a hookup good idea?
Q. I've been considering this a lot...I was thinking a hookup would be a good idea. I like the idea because I don't want to be romantic with the guy or see him again. BUT everyone says it's a horrible idea to have a hookup to lose your V card and you ...
A. 4 October 2016: If you think a hook up is a good idea, then you go for it, its your body your choice. You like the idea because you don't want it to be romantic and you don't want to see him again. Personally I would feel used. I would feel traumatized.
Are you ... (read in full...)
What is proper funeral etiquette?
Q. Hey guys, thanks for looking :) I've been with my partner for 6 years now, living together for 2. We've had a few problems recently, and my boyfriend has started going out/drinking a lot more with this new group of friends... I've also seen some ...
A. 4 October 2016: It was a kind offer from you, but you have to respect his decision whatever his reasons are. He is the one grieving here so allow him to do it his way.
You mention he has changed recently, maybe you both need to talk about this as it is obvi... (read in full...)
What challenges can I expect in dating this woman?
Q. Hey, I am looking for some advice I met a wonderful woman a few months back who is a single mother. We are both 28 years old. I have never been married, she is divorced with 2 boys ages 3 and 9. I really enjoy being with her...more than any...
A. 4 October 2016: What is it you are worried about? Is it the children? It is great that you are getting on well, but before it goes further you need to accept that she comes as a package with two young boys, she is divorced and am guessing they still see their dad. ... (read in full...)
I love my husband but sex with older man is passionate!
Q. Hi, I've been married for just over a year I'm 23 and my husband is 27. We have been together for 4 and a half years and ever since we have got married everything has changed even though we have a daughter together and we lived with each ...
A. 4 October 2016: You should have worked on your marriage and not jumped in to bed with the first guy that looked at you. You make excuses as to why you have cheated, but there are no excuses, you are the one in the wrong here not your husband, you are the one that ... (read in full...)
Why am I never enough for boys , please read!! need advice
Q. Hi, my story is lengthy however I need advice seeing as I constantly am allowing myself to be in situations where I feel less of myself. I am 19 years old and I was never a huge relationship girl in high school because i valued relationships and ...
A. 4 October 2016: He is not a boy, he is a grown man who should know better. No he does not love you, he preys on young girls, he knows just what to say and do to get their attention. Sweetie you have fallen under his trap, but please get out of it now. He is a ... (read in full...)
Sex has diminished should I worry?
Q. Me and my girlfriend moved in together a month ago having been together for 5 years (we lived apart due to work as I lived in another part of the country for 2 years hence the late move in and she was at uni). When we have sex it is great but I'm ...
A. 4 October 2016: Sometimes life just gets in the way. I can see why you are both concerned. I don't think it is anything to worry about in the sense that it will break up your relationship, but I do see why you want more intimacy. If your girlfriend is tired as soon ... (read in full...)
Has he forgotten me? or is he just upset and stubborn/ getting me back? PLEASE HELP BOY ADIVE
Q. 21 year old girl..met a boy during summer but i go to school in a different country. we were seeing each other casually, i kissed someone on holiday stupidly!! I told him and he didn't talk to me for a week. i kept trying to see him and he was ...
A. 4 October 2016: You told him you just wanted to be friends and didn't want long distance, so that is your answer, he is moving on with his life just like you should. It seems that you are both playing games and wanting each others attention. You told him it was ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend ran into a guy from high school that made me feel insecure. I feel upset about their encounter
Q. Ive been dating a guy for a few months now. He has been very good to me , kind , caring, selfless, all those things. I hate that this has bothered me so, but it has. He shared with me tonight that he spent some time the other day with a guy I went ...
A. 4 October 2016: This guy has the issue not you, I understand why this brought up some uneasy feelings in you, but he is the one with the problem not you. It sounds like he is jealous of you. Ask your almost boyfriend to not mention him again as it brings back bad ... (read in full...)
I don't want to send messages to her like a stalker but why won't she at least talk to me?
Q. Let's start by saying I'm bisexual but more of a lesbian woman.. I meet a woman online a few weeks ago we hit it off same birthday (Aries) only I'm 36 and she's 50.. I noticed she said she was jealous and worried about who else I was talking to or ...
A. 4 October 2016: You have had a lucky escape. Please stay away from her, don't contact her again. This woman sounds like she is very much damaged, and the fact that you are married and keeping that from her is only going to damage her more. Please just don't contact ... (read in full...)
We broke up but I still think of him and miss him
Q. I dated a man for almost two years. We fought a lot and it wasn't the most heathy relationship. We've been broken up now since July and surprisingly, I'm having a hard time getting over him. I think of him often , laugh about the good times and ...
A. 4 October 2016: You don't just forget a chunk off your life. Off course it is hard getting over someone you spent two years with, the relationship might have been unhealthy, but it still happened, you will still miss the good times and the things you both done ... (read in full...)
If my boyfriend settles down will he someday resent me?
Q. I've never used one of these sites before but I have a question that's driving me crazy ill give a little background first I'm 25 and have been with my boyfriend 9 years weve been working and travelling for the last two years around Asia the sout...
A. 4 October 2016: It sounds like he is willing to compromise, I don't see the problem. I understand you feel like you are holding him back from travelling, but you are not, he has said he wants to settle with you. Don't stress about these things, as things like this ... (read in full...)
Does prior promiscuity / lack of self care mean danger in a relationship?
Q. So.... a couple meets on tinder. They like each other, go for "the test". Turns out person A has an STD but makes out like they were just "unlucky" to have contracted it. Person B accepts and tries to move forward confidently. Person B had a clean ...
A. 4 October 2016: It is less about the sleeping around and more about the cheating and being dishonest. I don't think I would want to be with someone like this, if they are capable of cheating once they are capable of doing it again. ... (read in full...)
We had our ups and downs should I go back to my ex?
Q. My ex is recently single and I miss him a lot. Should I go back? Weve had ups and downs when we were together but the sex was off the charts amazing and hot and everything you can imagine. We use to laugh a lot but our relationship was...
A. 4 October 2016: No don't go back, no sex is worth getting heart broken over and over again. If he wanted to be with you he would have contacted you, he would have dated you and made an effort. If you contact him now it will be sex and he will leave the moment he ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend diagnosed with bipolar disorder! Break up?
Q. I've been dating my girlfriend for a year and recently she found out she has bipolar disorder. Now I understand why she has always been hot and cold with me, I'm thinking about breaking up as I'm not happy anymore. She' taking BP medications but ...
A. 4 October 2016: If you are unhappy in the relationship then there is no point staying in it. She has been diagnosed now so it might shed some light for you on why she behaves the way that she does.
If you are wanting to make the relationship work, then you both... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin love me back?
Q. Hey guys and girls im 14 year old and im 9th grade i love my girl cousin and she lives in another country so only 3 times i saw her 2006 2011 2016 so this year i loved her so much and we had really really good times but she went to her country back ...
A. 4 October 2016: You have a crush it is not love. Don't spend time alone with her, try and not contact her so much. You need to accept that she is your cousin, she is family not a potential girlfriend. Try and keep yourself busy and meet girls that are not ... (read in full...)
My dad is in an abusive relationship and I don't know what to do.
Q. I'm pretty sure my dad is in a psychologically abusive relationship (as far as I'm aware of) and I don't know what to do. He has been with her for 15 years. They met when I was already an adult, off at college 1500 miles away so I've had minimal ...
A. 4 October 2016: I can see you are at your wits end, but sweetie realistically there is nothing you can do. Your dad needs to be the one to make changes if he wants to. I understand why you are worried honestly I do, it is hard to sit back and watch but you have no ... (read in full...)
I'd like to ask this older lady out but don't want to lose our friendship
Q. I am 23 and she is 37! We first meet each other in a social website and after we exchanged some messages and chat we agreed to see each other as friends, not for a dating purpose. I found her very attractive and nice but it has taken some time for...
A. 4 October 2016: At your age that is quite a big gap. You might work as friends, but in a relationship it more than likely would cause problems that you are both at different stages of life. My guess is that is why she said she just wants to be friends.
If you real... (read in full...)
How do I slow things down?
Q. After only 4 dates, but numerous messages and phone calls, we slept together. Everything is just SO perfect. This guy is truly amazing! I'm 54 years old, and feel like a love sick teenager, I'm falling for him, although trying to hold back and slow ...
A. 4 October 2016: You are probably a bit worried now that you have slept together that it will all go pear shaped. My guess is you want to slow it down so that you don't fall head over heals and get hurt.
You are not a teenager, you know how you are feeling. Go with... (read in full...)
Is it normal that he's always hard around me?
Q. He loves me and has proven that to me so many times through his actions. I have no doubt in my heart that we connect very well. I wrote a post here before about my boyfriend not taking me out or do special things for me. We spoke about it and he has ...
A. 4 October 2016: Yip very normal at your age. I am glad he is treating you better. If you don't want to have sex as much as he does then simply say no, if you want to have sex six times a day then go for it, but don't feel pressured. Everybody has different sex ... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting to their friendship?
Q. Hi, I'm looking for some advice regarding a guy. I'm seeing this guy for 6 months now. We both are in our early 40's, and it's going well, he's honest, tansparent. However, I'm struggling with a few things, and I'm wondering am I over reacting...
A. 4 October 2016: You need to have trust in a relationship, do you trust him? Because if you don't then not much point being with him. Do you both do things at the weekend? Instead off him going out with his friends, why not make plans at the weekend so you can spend ... (read in full...)
I can't date my co-worker but I think he likes me too. What should I do?
Q. I've been working at my retail job for almost 2 years, I am extremely close with everyone who works there and love going to work. Over the summer me and a group of people hung out a lot and this one guy in particular (lets name him T) started ...
A. 4 October 2016: From reading your post I think he wants to have sex with you, I don't think he has genuine feelings for you. If he did then he would have respected you when you said no and he would have asked you on a date not try and kiss or touch you.
Stay away... (read in full...)
I miss my ex sometimes but am afraid to tell my girlfriend
Q. I miss my ex from time to time. We were together for 4 years. I have a gf and we are honest about everything. I feel bad for not telling her. We have been dating for 5 years. I never use to understand why people kept secrets between someone the...
A. 4 October 2016: How much is time to time? If you occasionally think about the old times that is okay, but if you are missing her daily then there is something wrong. I don't think telling your girlfriend is going to achieve anything. But you do need to think if it ... (read in full...)
My ex broke up with me so why is she acting so weird about avoiding me?
Q. My ex was picking fights so we broke up and it ended messy. I tried everything to keep it going. At the time I thought it was completely my fault and I was doing something wrong but looking back now I know it was both of us but largely because of ...
A. 4 October 2016: The real question is why do you care? Do you still have feelings for her? Do you want to get back with her?
The thing is well all feel awkward bumping in to an ex and most of the time we make it even more awkward with our silly actions. Just be civi... (read in full...)
Is it possible for your BF to have a tryst in an hour?
Q. Likely or unlikely? Possible or not possible? Your boyfriend goes to the Home Depot and is gone for exactly one hour. Is it possible for him to leave his car in the Home Depot parking lot, have another woman pick him up, take him somewhere ...
A. 4 October 2016: Please go and seek professional help before you drive yourself crazy and send your boyfriend over the edge. ... (read in full...)
I'm not ready to see someone all the time but I think he is!
Q. I got out of on again, off again 1.5 year relationship about 5 months ago. I recently started to date someone and while I feel its going well and there is defiantly potential, I know I am not at the same pace as him. I want to go much slower, and ...
A. 4 October 2016: You are not ready for a relationship which is fine, but have you told him that? You need to make that clear to him, so that he knows where he stands. It is great he is treating you well, but don't lead him on. Just be honest with him, tell him you ... (read in full...)
What's going on? He asked for my number. Yet he still hasn't asked me out for a date?
Q. I'm a member of a local swimming pool and a few months ago I got talking to a guy who had just joined. Since then we have become really friendly seeing each other there a couple of evenings a week. A few weeks ago the guy asked for my phone num...
A. 4 October 2016: why does he need to show interest, why can't you? If you like him then ask him out. He might be shy, he might be waiting for you to ask him out, or he could just be friendly. Only one way to find out, bite the bullet and ask him out. ... (read in full...)
My mother was ok with my brother's Gf visiting but she is not as welcoming towards my Bf. Why would my mother react this way?
Q. I'm 13 with a 14 year old boyfriend who's parents are super chill and unrestrictive of most things, but mine are sometimes restrictive sometimes not which can be a real pain in the rear. My older brother, who is 16, had a girlfriend when he was ...
A. 4 October 2016: You should be thankful your parents are allowing you to have a boyfriend and go over to his house, most parents off a 13 year old girl would not even allow this.
You say you are mature enough to have a boyfriend then you should also be mature enou... (read in full...)
How do I respond to my wife now I know about the affair she had with my (then) best friend behind my back?
Q. I just found out that my wife had a sexual relationship with my best friend and the best man at my wedding. This happened 26 years ago! We had been dating exclusively for 4 months at the time. Even though it was so long ago, I feel like it could've...
A. 4 October 2016: My heart goes out to you it really does. What a horrible situation to be in. I am sorry I have to ask but are you sure this only happened 26 years ago? Can you trust her when she says it was back at the start? If it was me I would be doubting it, ... (read in full...)
How can I establish a good relationship with my sister in law if she wants nothing to do with me?
Q. I've been married to my husband for two years. We're not a perfect couple, nobody is, but in general we are very happy. On certain issues we are not the most compatible, but again, we are happy and we make it work. He is a middle child. He has an...
A. 4 October 2016: I can see it from both point of views, I am getting married next year and I am very close to his two sisters, but that is probably because I was friends with them before I met him, so they are my friends. Now I am not close to my brothers wife at ... (read in full...)
Is it worth calling her up after 3 years? Or should I just let it go?
Q. 3 years ago I met a beautiful and smart girl at comic con and we hit it off right away. She was 19 and even though we lived 80 miles from each other, we made it work and saw each other every weekend. We got into a relationship and everythi...
A. 4 October 2016: I don't think you need us to tell you that it is a bad idea contacting her, because deep down I think you already know. But you still want to, because you still cannot quite understand why she broke up with you. You want to know has she changed her ... (read in full...)
He was my FWB. Should I just leave him alone, for now?
Q. About a year ago I had a one night stand with a guy i met on a night out, we got on really well and started texting and having casual sex regularly. Both of us didnt want a relationship so we decided to be friends with benefits. After a few months ...
A. 4 October 2016: Yes leave him alone from now on. The first thing you done after a five month gap was jump in to bed with him again, if you wanted him to take you serious that was not the way to go around it. You are both comfortable having sex with each other, but ... (read in full...)
My husband lost his job but he wants to stay here and tough it out in the midwest. How can we resolve this?
Q. Me and my husband moved from one state to another state for my husband's new job three months ago. As of last Thursday, he's lost his job and I am beginning to question if this was even a good idea!! I'm a mom to a 6 year old daughter, and wo...
A. 4 October 2016: It is a tough situation, I can see where you are both coming from. You uprooted your life so that your husband could take this job, but now it has not worked out. Your husband probably does not want to go back and tell everyone he failed. Plus it is ... (read in full...)
How can I encourage and support a friend who is depressed? What words of encouragement can I say to my friend?
Q. hey , quite a bit to read but i wanted to explain things in better detail . I have a new friend. Four weeks ive known them and they decided to tell me they suffer from bouts of depression and at the moment they are at a low point they have been to...
A. 3 October 2016: I think you are doing a great job being her friend, I am sure she is already very thankful. My advice would be just to be there for her. Listen to her, share your problems with her and how you have came out the positive side. Arrange to meet for ... (read in full...)
Criticized, humiliated and not loved and not appreciated. What do I need to do to get over this loveless marriage? I've put on weight and eventually my health will be affected.
Q. I know I should be thankful for my marriage, home and trying to build up to a good life. But I have just woken up this morning and feel like maybe my marriage is just too hard to keep going. Mainly because our communication is terrible. I had ...
A. 3 October 2016: If you are not ready to let go off the marriage and get a divorce then sign up to couples counselling. It is worth a shot so you can both talk things through with a professional. It sounds to me like she is no longer loving like a wife. She wants a ... (read in full...)
I'm worried he's getting fed up with me! I think he wants perfection!
Q. Hi, I am a female, 24. My husband and I have been married for 2.5 years now. We were one of those couples who fell in love and got married soon without a big ceremony. We loved each other to bits. I still do. Last night he was at a friend's place ...
A. 3 October 2016: I think you should go to a doctor about you having no energy and feeling depressed.
Communication is important in a marriage, I am sure he still loves you I guess he is stressed and wondering why you always need to sleep and walk slowly. It soun... (read in full...)
My future husband doesn't want to raise a family where I want raise a family. How can we reach middle ground and negotiate a solution?
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and I are the perfect match. We are contemplating marriage early next year which will take place in my families backyard in Atlanta. It will be a small, intimate wedding because we want to take the remaining funds we'v...
A. 3 October 2016: Nobody can make this decision but you and him. But you really do need to discuss this before getting married. As once you are married you may feel trapped and in a life you are not happy with. You both need to just sit down, tell him how you feel ... (read in full...)
I still have feelings for her. Should I keep in touch? She's about to marry another girl.
Q. So I need a little help. Last year around this time, I started seeing a girl. She was beautiful, smart, educated, sweet. All things I look for in a relationahip. Honestly nothing was really lacking and we were pretty great together. We dated fo...
A. 3 October 2016: If she wanted to be with you she would cancel the wedding. It sounds like she is playing you. You are asking us what you should do, well you have two choices, cut her from your life or be the other woman and watch her get married yet be her bit on ... (read in full...)
I still have feelings for her. Should I keep in touch? She's about to marry another girl.
Q. So I need a little help. Last year around this time, I started seeing a girl. She was beautiful, smart, educated, sweet. All things I look for in a relationahip. Honestly nothing was really lacking and we were pretty great together. We dated fo...
A. 3 October 2016: If she wanted to be with you she would cancel the wedding. It sounds like she is playing you. You are asking us what you should do, well you have two choices, cut her from your life or be the other woman and watch her get married yet be her bit on ... (read in full...)
I lost the ring my wife purchased for me. She'll be very cross. What should I do?
Q. My wife left for Paris last week, and instead of going to work, coming home to a lovely empty apartment and playing video games like I been doing, my brother convinced me to hang out with him for the night. When I got there all the boys were the...
A. 3 October 2016: Hmmm you get in to a fight and she asks about your ring? That makes no sense to me, must be more to this story? What are you not telling us?... (read in full...)
Did I do something wrong? Once the pastor was friendly to me. Now he does not respond.
Q. Ok this is a strange one so please bare with me. I have started going to a new Church and it has been great. I got on with the pastor from day one and he came out to visit me a few times. Chatted over FB ect. Then I went on a date last night and p...
A. 3 October 2016: Just saw your update, glad it got sorted.... (read in full...)
Did I do something wrong? Once the pastor was friendly to me. Now he does not respond.
Q. Ok this is a strange one so please bare with me. I have started going to a new Church and it has been great. I got on with the pastor from day one and he came out to visit me a few times. Chatted over FB ect. Then I went on a date last night and p...
A. 3 October 2016: He may have been busy and that is why he did not reply? I think you are worrying over nothing, just give it some time. ... (read in full...)
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