A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hey , quite a bit to read but i wanted to explain things in better detail . I have a new friend. Four weeks ive known them and they decided to tell me they suffer from bouts of depression and at the moment they are at a low point they have been to the doctors and are on medication . I've suffered from this myself so understand what they are going through. i would put on a fake front , if a friend asked me to go out i would go out just a casual couple of hours away from my life / my problems all left at home . I wasnt the life and soul of the party but no-one knew how low i really was. i wrote on here about it and got fantastic advice. ( i dont think my friend would write to an advice place ) Since then my life couldnt be better its turned around for the better , my problems and situation are totally different to my friends i dont want to push them for details or push to get them to come out but spending a couple of hours away from my problems really helped and i want to encourage my friend to come out , my friend has already said im too nice to them ,im just me . i told them i understand depression as i had suffered with it. its different dealing with someone whos suffering to actually having depression . I want to be positive towards them thinking before i message them so i dont chat about anything negative but also dont make a big deal of everything being great , for instance ive got flu at the moment and i tried to make it sound its part of life , and lucky me ive got flu but oh well ill pop the shop for some medicine and relax for the day , trying not to focus on their issues or making it sound bad . So if anyone has any thoughts as to how i can encourage my friend to come out for a couple of hours and any general positive words without it sounding like im praising a child for counting to 10 , id be grateful . thanks
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 October 2016):
 I think you are doing a great job being her friend, I am sure she is already very thankful. My advice would be just to be there for her. Listen to her, share your problems with her and how you have came out the positive side. Arrange to meet for coffee, shopping, cinema, a few social drinks. Anything that she is up for but won't be to much out of her depth. She is lucky to have you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2016): Im the op. i do just have flu im not depressed i understand why you would think it but i try not to see negatives in things anymore
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (2 October 2016):
 Sometimes just being there and listening means a lot. If you want to get your friend to come out for a couple of hours, how about something which will require little actual effort from them (they may not feel up to chatting or mingling with people). Maybe a visit to see a film, or even a shopping trip with a cup of coffee thrown in?Well done for being a good friend and trying to support your new friend (although your comment about trying to make it sound like flu is just part of life made me wonder if you are actually over your depression because, to most people, flu ACTUALLY is just part of life).
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