A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: 21 year old girl..met a boy during summer but i go to school in a different country. we were seeing each other casually, i kissed someone on holiday stupidly!! I told him and he didn't talk to me for a week. i kept trying to see him and he was acting off, eventually i said whats up!?!?.. i thought he didn't care.. but he told me he was upset. we decided we would be together. we only dated for 3 months and then i left, so i told him i thought maybe we should take a break from being committed to each other as it was so soon, but to still talk and catch up cos i really liked him.. he agreed.a week after i left he told me he was upset about this and was worried i wanted to hook up with other boys. i reassured him that wasn't the case at all, just that it had only been 3 months and that i really liked him but didn't want to commit to long distance so soon as was worried it could ruin it. he told me he would think about me regardless.I've been trying to contact him since(1 - 2 weeks later) but he's been acting cold, taking sometimes a day to respond.he was snap chatting this girl giggling and laughing but he never normally snapchats and i had a feeling it was to get my attention. i messaged him how he was doing and then asked if he had lost his feelings.. he responded 'course i like you, but your away',, and didn't seem to want to continue the convo.i tried to call him a few days later to try regain our nice chats.. and he didn't pick up and read my messages saying i wanted to talk and missed him, but he didn't reply. i had enough of trying. i told him i really liked him but he was messing with my head and that i couldn't continue in christmas time because i needed to concentrate on work. I was hoping he would have the balls to say how he was feeling (if id upset him/ if he just didn't care)..but he read it and said nothing..I need to know if he's just hurting and if i should try harder to make him open up! i think he finds it hard.. OR if he just doesn't care anymore.. its a month later now since i left.. possible he met someone ?can feelings go that quickly?this whole situations made me realise how much i care and like him and would commit even though its only been a short time, but i can't to someone that is incapable of saying when they are upset.its his first GF situation btw. has he met another girl and forgotten? or is he upset and stubborn? PLEASE HELP
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a break, christmas, long distance, on holiday Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 October 2016):
I think you are not seeing it from his side at all, just yours.
First, you tell him, I want us to be together and then... YOU told him, I don't want anything serious and I don't want an LFR. He is free to do whatever he wants, just like you are free to do what you want. IT seems like he wants no longer talk and be "friends" with you. And I think you should respect it.
If you feel like he is playing games, WISH him well and block him. Don't accept a guy to treat you like crap. And don't treat others in a way you wouldn't want to be treated either.
It seems to me that there isn't much of a future here between you to, that you just want a chat-buddy and he wants a GF.
If this guy was SO special you wouldn't have kissed another guy. Think about it.
I'd say let him go. It's not going to work.
A
female
reader, newgia667 +, writes (5 October 2016):
Hi, I am 19 years old so I understand the immaturity of boys using silence to over come their feelings. I believe he does like you because if he wasn't bothered why wouldn't he messaged you seeing as you two shared many good times and memories.. I think he likes you but he understands (as well as you) the logistics of a long distance relationship. It can be emotionally draining, not being able to physically be with that person. I think you did the right thing with ending it and you should stop reaching out. I think he needs his space to get over you and so do you, the more you continue to message him the more it may hurt him and he might think your still interested.Time truly heals all wounds and I believe within time you and him will be friends again and you guys will be able to talk. Seeing as the wounds are still fresh to him he needs his time to figure his stuff out as do you. Besides I'm sure there are tons of great guys at your school waiting to get a whiff of how great you are.Best of luck-Gia
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (4 October 2016):
You told him you just wanted to be friends and didn't want long distance, so that is your answer, he is moving on with his life just like you should. It seems that you are both playing games and wanting each others attention. You told him it was over yet you still want him to be there for you and tell you he likes you. Sweetie it is not going to work, you both live in different countries. I don't think he wants you as a friend, you are someone he liked, not someone he wanted to have as a friend. I think you should give him some distance, concentrate on school and see where the future takes you.
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