A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys, thanks for looking :) I've been with my partner for 6 years now, living together for 2. We've had a few problems recently, and my boyfriend has started going out/drinking a lot more with this new group of friends... I've also seen some changes in him, although overall he's a lovely guy.Well recently (and very sadly) his old training coach passed away to cancer. She was a lovely lady though I only had the pleasure of meeting her once. I booked off the day of her funeral, assuming my partner would want me there for moral support... though today he told me he doesn't want me to go with him. I told him I had booked the day off but he said he'd rather go without me. I can't help but feel a little rejected, considering I would always invite my partner for moral support. He doesn't understand why I'm upset - am I being unreasonable? I was just trying to be there for him. I feel as though he's pushing me away, or prefers being without me. Of course now I won't be going to the funeral as it wouldn't be appropriate, but how do I deal with this? Perhaps I'm wrong to assume, but I've always invited my partner to funerals for moral support. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2016): I agree with Honeypie and Aunt Honesty I think you should respect his wishes. My husband has attended funerals without me and I didn't see it as any kind of issue and we've been together for a decade.
I think your anxiety is based more around your concerns for your relationship and that's why you feel rejected. You should talk to him about that. It's common for people to change throughout their 20s but that doesn't mean your relationship has to suffer. I wasn't the same person at 30 as I was at 20.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 October 2016):
 It was a kind offer from you, but you have to respect his decision whatever his reasons are. He is the one grieving here so allow him to do it his way.
You mention he has changed recently, maybe you both need to talk about this as it is obviously concerning you. Try communicating with him about it. All the best.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2016): I love honeypie advice .. but mine is some where different. . My husband ..at the time we had just not long maybe 8 month dating and his uncle died I had only met him once .. and unthinking he went by himself and I felt he didn't give me my place .. so I identify with where your coming from .. If we had been living together for 2 years I would have been livid
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 October 2016):
 You need to respect that this isn't about you.
His grief isn't about you.
He might not want to cry in front of you, he knows she didn't mean anything much to you but meant something special to him.
I'd respect that and go to work or just take a day to do something FOR you.
He wants to go by himself, so let him. He is a grown man.
It's kind and nice of you to offer (big EMPHASIS on offer) to go with him, but he declined to bow out with grace.
...............................
|
