A
male
,
anonymous
writes: Me and my girlfriend moved in together a month ago having been together for 5 years (we lived apart due to work as I lived in another part of the country for 2 years hence the late move in and she was at uni). When we have sex it is great but I'm worried about frequency as we are now down to doing it once a fortnight. I'm 29 and she is 26 and whilst the first month has been hard due to trying to sort out house and me adjusting to a new commute, I feel now we are settled. However I try to make moves to have sex and she says that she is too tired as soon as she gets into bed. Whilst our jobs are pretty full on (I'm an engineer and she is a doctor working in hospital), it's something I am concerned about. I've tried speaking to her asking what is wrong and if she is worried about anything but she says she is not worrying about anything besides this.What ways are there to improve our sex life? I'm not expecting sex 5 times a week but I want to improve the amount of sex and so does she.
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female
reader, MartiJJ +, writes (24 October 2016):
Give her a break, literally, don't seek any for at least a month, there's nothing worse than being pestered for something when you haven't got the energy, wether it's sex, housework or just simply travelling to visit family. I'd also suggest upping the romance, double the amount of romantic gestures you do for her so she understands literally that you care for her, when the pressure is off and she feels re-energised she'll come to you, but be careful not to pressure back on by asking if things can go back to how it was before, or you will be back to square one, let it build slowly, these things are organic and often go through slumps or dry patches, in the mean time entertain yourself! You will probably find that the longer the break the more anticipation it builds and it might actually improve your sex life in the end. Tread gently and best of luck!
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (4 October 2016):
Sometimes life just gets in the way. I can see why you are both concerned. I don't think it is anything to worry about in the sense that it will break up your relationship, but I do see why you want more intimacy. If your girlfriend is tired as soon as she gets in to bed then try something different. Don't wait until bed time. Take a shower together, give her a morning or evening massage. Try and make more time for each other just being close and intimate. But mainly communicate with each other.
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