A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I dated a man for almost two years. We fought a lot and it wasn't the most heathy relationship. We've been broken up now since July and surprisingly, I'm having a hard time getting over him. I think of him often , laugh about the good times and really miss being intimate with him. But I know we should not get back together. It will never work out. I want to move on and start dating but I always think of him. How can I forget ? I really didn't think I would miss him so much.
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broke up, get back together, move on Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 October 2016):
 You don't just forget a chunk off your life. Off course it is hard getting over someone you spent two years with, the relationship might have been unhealthy, but it still happened, you will still miss the good times and the things you both done together. That is normal. It does get easier in time, but all you need to do is give yourself time. It has barely been three months so it is still raw for you am sure. At least you know that going back to him is not the answer. Don't rush in to dating, give yourself time to heal. Spend time with friends, do things you love and in time you will know when you are ready to date again.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (4 October 2016):
 You miss the good times, nothing wrong in that, but maybe when you think of him and those 2 years YOU need to focus not on all the fun times but the reasons WHY you didn't work out. When you constantly try and convince yourself of the "good times" or that maybe you could have made it work, if only.. blah blah blah. NO, it didn't work because you two weren't a good fit AT ALL. No ifs, buts or anything else.
It Is NOT better to have a crappy relationship than NO relationship. Know that YOU deserve a good one. Don't settle for less. Don't settle for a partner, like this ex, that isn't a VIABLE partner for a healthy relationship. It's OK to be picky. AND it's OK to be single
2 years of arguing? Sounds exhausting! And a waste of time.
It's NO fun being lonely for most people. However, being SINGLE right now gives you the opportunity to figure out what YOUR standards are, WHAT you want from a partner and WHAT you can give in return. WORK on YOU. Take the time to look back on those arguments, and figure out what YOUR part in those was, are those things you need to change etc.?
Time for some self-improvement and self-indulgement!
Catch up on things you haven't done in a long time that you enjoy, be it a book and a glass of wine on a Saturday night, game night with family and/or friends, karaoke night, going hiking with friends, shopping, spa day, new hair do, whatever you all enjoy. Make YOU the priority.
LIFE is too short pining over something that wasn't working. It's like pining over a pair of Louboutin shoes you "could" have bought for $100, but they were 3 sizes too small, yet you still wish you had bought them.. why? They would be USELESS!
Life is for LIVING.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (4 October 2016):
 It is a bit too soon to move into a new relationship. Breaking up brings similar emotions to bereavement, and you go through similar stages.
Now is the time to concentrate on mending you. Get out, do things and be grateful for the freedom you now have to go anywhere without having to think of anyone else.
Restaurants can be difficult for a single woman. A book and a corner table is a good solution. Sometimes other couples shy away from inviting another single woman out - I'm not sure why - perhaps fear you will hit on their man. Doing things with other single female friends is a good way to go.
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