A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a member of a local swimming pool and a few months ago I got talking to a guy who had just joined.Since then we have become really friendly seeing each other there a couple of evenings a week. A few weeks ago the guy asked for my phone number and to connect on Facebook. Since then we still see each other at the pool but when we are there we spend all of our time making an effort to be together and we let each other know what our schedules are like and when we will be there. We also recently discovered we would be going out of town to the same place soon so he offered to share the car ride together.All of this is giving me signals that he's attracted to me but he actually hasn't asked me on a date yet and everything is still centred around swimming. I know he's busy at work at the moment but I'm just not sure what's going on.Any advice please?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHiSorry for the delay in response, I was sure I had posted a reply!Anyway...he's definitely not gay and we do speak sometimes via text or whatsapp. He was engaged but the relationship ended earlier this year and there's no mention of anyone else. I too was in a long term relationship that ended earlier this year and have just got myself back to 'normal' after a devastating split. When were at swimming we can spend an hour together a couple of times a week just chatting away. We know what each other's schedules are like and he's even asked me what I'm doing at Christmas break. I'm also due to make a trip,out of town in a few weeks time and he has to go to the same place too and offered to drive me there which would mean a four hour drive together. He remembers everything I tell him and always pays a lot of compliments.I like him a lot, but I'm nervous and I would feel mortified if I read the messages wrong. I just don't know what to do.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 October 2016):
 why does he need to show interest, why can't you? If you like him then ask him out. He might be shy, he might be waiting for you to ask him out, or he could just be friendly. Only one way to find out, bite the bullet and ask him out.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (2 October 2016):
 Agree with YouWish. Absolutely nothing to stop you asking him out for a drink after swimming. After all, you are on friendly terms and this is something friends do. Just casually ask so there is no suggestion of dating, just in case it is not what he is looking for. Something along the lines of "Gosh, I could murder a G&T. Do you fancy a drink?"
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (2 October 2016):
 He may be just after a friend. However, if you're interested in him, why not ask him out?? You could ask him out on a date, or coffee as just friends, or whatever! If you like him, why not? Carpe diem!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies. I know he split from his girlfriend last winter and he's never mentioned anyone else.
We do text and Whatsapp each other sometimes. And I was so sure at swimming that he was interested but it just doesn't seem to be progressing anywhere which is confusing.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (2 October 2016):
 Perhaps he is homosexual and just wants you as a friend. Perhaps he is heterosexual and just wants you as a friend. If nothing is moving forward then don't waste sleep over it. Not every exchange of phone numbers is about dating.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (2 October 2016):
Is there anything to stop you asking him out for a drink after swimming one evening? Maybe he is just very unsure of himself and worried you might turn him down.
Do you know for sure he is single? Perhaps he is being friendly but only wants to be friends, nothing else?
Did he say why he wanted our number? Does he contact you about swimming nights? Has he definitely got the right number? (Only checking as a friend of mine was really put out when a guy she gave her number to didn't contact her. It eventually turned out he had got one of the digits wrong and had been texting the wrong number with no reply, so had assumed she was not interested.)
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