A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:I'm 13 with a 14 year old boyfriend who's parents are super chill and unrestrictive of most things, but mine are sometimes restrictive sometimes not which can be a real pain in the rear. My older brother, who is 16, had a girlfriend when he was 14-15 who used to come over all the time after school, and my mother was a-okay about all of it. But now my mother is very harsh on when he comes over and when he leaves when he's over, one of us would get home at about 10-12 on school holidays and my mother would not be okay with that, and on regular school days it would be 8-9. If I get home 10 minutes later than expected I would get yelled at. So maybe that's why she doesn't like him coming over. But you're going to think that I'm overreacting but I just hate that I get yelled at for having a good time and being in love. Like I'm in the middle of a board game with his family and i have to go home, so I may be a little late, and she's standing at the door when I get home with a super pissed look on her face and she yells at me when my boyfriend goes home. I really hate it. And as I said before I'm in love with my boyfriend and my parents have said they love him too as well as his family, but why not let him over? I don't get it. Sometimes it's for homework reasons, but I'm in year 7 and I get most of my homework done and she still thinks I have homework. And now his parents always think my mother is going to be angry all the time and I hate that they think she doesn't like them. As I said she used to let my brothers girlfriend over all the time but what has changed? I don't understand. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2016): Your post underlines you young and innocent you are. Thank goodness. That's the way it should be at 13. I remember being 13, thinking I knew it all and my parents didn't understand. I'm much, much older now, way older than your parents and I realise that I still don't know it all about the opposite sex and love.Listen, trust me, your Mum knows way more about your boyfriend and what's going on in his mind, than you do. This is why she is setting boundaries and trying her best to keep you safe. If I was five minutes late when I was over 16, my father was on the phone to the police!!He knew I'd hate that and that's why he did it. It made my social life hell as I was so worried something was going to happen to make me late, I couldn't enjoy myself.As you mature, you will realise that your Mum loves you very much and is trying to protect you from under age sex. She knows exactly what a young man of 14 has on his mind ...and it isn't homework! Try to imagine you are a parent of a 13 year old girl and she is 'going out and in love' with a 14 year old boy. And you know that the 14 year old boy is probably talking to his friends about whether he's been able to touch her anywhere yet, kissed her and more! And this is what he's interested in achieving. I hope that you would be laying down boundaries to keep her safe, bearing in mind her innocent and inexperienced outlook.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 October 2016):
 You should be thankful your parents are allowing you to have a boyfriend and go over to his house, most parents off a 13 year old girl would not even allow this.
You say you are mature enough to have a boyfriend then you should also be mature enough to respect your parents and be home at the time they ask you to be home at. If you are always running late, that is very disrespectful to your parents. You should always be home five or ten minutes earlier than your curfew, show your parents that you can be trusted. Also your studies are important so make sure you do all your homework before meeting up with your boyfriend. Also make sure you make time to spend with friends as well. The more maturity you show to your parents the easier it will be.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (2 October 2016):
 "Get most of my homework done"? So, you do still have more and your mum knows that?
OP, this may come across a little patronising, but I'm going to try to explain to you why it's like this.
You're professing being in love at an age where you're too young to understand it. Sure, there's puppy love, but it's not the same as in love. Most teens who claim to be in love do things they shouldn't do yet and your mum is probably worried about that.
You need to be grateful for what you have because a lot of 13 year olds wouldn't be allowed to have a boyfriend/girlfriend and you're allowed to spend a lot of time with yours. Take a step back and try to appreciate the boundaries, understand them a little more and respect them.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (2 October 2016):
 Parents are generally more protective of daughters than sons. That being said, the fact that you're 13 years old and are allowed to have a boyfriend is in itself a big thing. I don't think my mom would ever have been OK with me claiming at be in love at 13 and socializing to this extent with a boy. You might disagree but you're way too young and as the mother of a daughter, it's only normal to be worried that you don't end up doing something wrong that you'll regret for life
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2016): Every mum is going to react that way honestly. And you're only 13 so it's obvious that she'd react in a certain way when you get home. Plus, this is another thing that parents do, when their son has a gf it doesn't matter because "he's growing up" but when it comes to girls, they're overprotective and would think of the worst possible case in the world.. I'll tell you abit of my parents and you can see where I'm coming from. I was 15 when I really liked a boy and my parents disapproved right away. But when they met him, they liked him but they disapproved of me having a bf in general. But I disobeyed them in a way because that boy became my boyfriend for almost three years and we're still together. Parents don't get that as you're growin up you're gonna start having feelings and all but their reaction to girls are going to always be different from guys. (Sexist, I know) but this happened to me as well. So I suppose, come home around 9 the latest and holidays I suppose 10.. Don't go up to midnight. That's my suggestion.
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