My husband says he doesn't watch porn or masturbate ever. Is this possible?
Q. All I ever read on this site is how men use porn. If a guy says he isn't using porn then he is lying. I read a post just the other day for a woman who wanted a man who didn't cheat, watch porn, look at other women, etc. It got tons of replies all ...
A. 31 January 2013: Leave the guy alone! He stood by you when you were in the hospital. I assume he went out of his way to take care of you when you came home. This is how you repay him??
If there's one attitude that can help you in regards to porn/mas... (read in full...)
My husband bought a necklace for a random waitress. I find it inappropriate, he thinks it's charity. Thoughts please.
Q. Mod note: I added she was the waitress to make the question more clear. I found a receipt for a swarovski necklace in the sale in my husbands week day apartment. When I asked him about it, after a few laughs, he said that he goes to a chinese ...
A. 31 January 2013: If I were you, I'd find a way to end the whole "day apartment" arrangement, because I think he's being disloyal to you big time.... (read in full...)
How do I handle girls flirting with my boyfriend in front of me?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles! My question is : how to hande girls flirting with my boyfriend in front of me? See, today I went to a bank with my boyfriend, we are very serious, and he really wants to be married and wants me to meet his parents. He i...
A. 31 January 2013: Your boyfriend did the right thing. Seriously, you've got him, and instead of get your hackles up that she kept flirting with him, feel sorry for her because flirting with a guy who's obviously attached and is making it painfully obvious that he's ... (read in full...)
I'm still in love with my ex-boyfriend and I wish I wasn't.
Q. I need help or someone to talk to... I'm still in love with my ex-boyfriend and I wish I wasn't. We've been broken up for 2 months but he is moving halfway across the country in a month, so we've been spending time with each other, acting li...
A. 31 January 2013: Why did you two break up??
So, you officially broke up, but these past two months, you've still been spending time together and acting like a couple?? I'm guessing that you're both still sleeping together as well??
There's not much you can do ... (read in full...)
Should I apologize for saying that his friendship with this other woman makes me uncomfortable?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, please advise: My guy has a married girl friend who is flying in to his city for a week, without her husband, just to hang out with my guy because she “misses him”. I don’t live with my guy yet, though we’ve been together fo...
A. 31 January 2013: Of course you don't trust them! It's okay not to, and don't apologize for it!
I would not be happy one bit if some married woman flew into town for a week for no other reason than to spend time with my husband. It's one thing if they were old... (read in full...)
My husband bought a necklace for a random waitress. I find it inappropriate, he thinks it's charity. Thoughts please.
Q. Mod note: I added she was the waitress to make the question more clear. I found a receipt for a swarovski necklace in the sale in my husbands week day apartment. When I asked him about it, after a few laughs, he said that he goes to a chinese ...
A. 30 January 2013: No way. Jewelry is a very intimate gift. He has no business buying random gifts for servers, and if it truly was innocent, he would have informed you of his intent to do it and not waited for you to find it in his weekday apartment.
And yes, why... (read in full...)
My husband says he doesn't watch porn or masturbate ever. Is this possible?
Q. All I ever read on this site is how men use porn. If a guy says he isn't using porn then he is lying. I read a post just the other day for a woman who wanted a man who didn't cheat, watch porn, look at other women, etc. It got tons of replies all ...
A. 30 January 2013: Not all men are porn hounds who masturbate constantly! His sex drive very well may be satisfied at the level it is now. There have been guys who have posted on here who found porn degrading and disgusting.
Seriously, not all guys need it, like... (read in full...)
Is this a normal cooling off period or silent treatment/emotional abuse/manipulation?
Q. I have been dating a man for just over a year. We broke up at one point for three months because he got cold feet about the relationship. (He’s been divorced for a number of years and hasn’t had a committed relationship in that time, only dated ...
A. 30 January 2013: What on earth does he have to be pissed about? That you invited him to a nice place? That you wanted to share your poetry with him? That you dared to act hurt when he said he didn't want to go and criticized the fact that it was on a Sunday ... (read in full...)
I hate that my boyfriend said his best vacation was with his ex! Should I be mad?
Q. Hi everyone, we talked with my bf the other day about spending some summer vacation together. We want to go to the sea, because we haven´t been by the sea for a long time. My BF told me he was by the sea few years ago and it was the best, most ama...
A. 30 January 2013: It wasn't his ex who made it great! It was the location, and he wants a new "best vacation" with you! Just because he went somewhere with an ex doesn't make it spoiled territory!... (read in full...)
Why do people have to make comments that are hurtful?
Q. Dear Cupid, The other night I was talking to this guy that I know fairly well but is still considered an acquaintance. We were texting and he asked "why do you wear so much makeup? Not to say you look bad but i'm sure you're pretty naturally...
A. 30 January 2013: I disagree with everyone who's said it's a backhanded compliment. It's actually a criticism of the amount of makeup she's wearing.
Seriously, the "not to say you look bad" is the same as "No offense, but..." people say to soften negative... (read in full...)
Boyfriend can't keep it up and I'm ready to walk!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We came across a sex problem after about 6 mths. The problem was, he couldn't stay hard and we got into an about that aftet it happened several times cuz I was left hanging. Now, it...
A. 30 January 2013: It's peeling? Yikes! I wouldn't have intercourse at all until that's cleared up! He needs to see a doctor big time. Peeling skin isn't part of masturbation.
Did you say he was older? By how much? Many guys have dealt with ED as they aged, so... (read in full...)
Is this a normal cooling off period or silent treatment/emotional abuse/manipulation?
Q. I have been dating a man for just over a year. We broke up at one point for three months because he got cold feet about the relationship. (He’s been divorced for a number of years and hasn’t had a committed relationship in that time, only dated ...
A. 30 January 2013: Thanks for responding, OP.
Yeah, I mean, come on. Cabaret nights aren't known as late night party affairs, unless in this case, "Cabaret" is code word for "all night drinking binge". Somehow, I doubt it. I have had friends involved in communit... (read in full...)
Cheating:( How do guys keep their girlfriend from cheating?
Q. How do you keep your girl from cheating? Please i am asking for a range of different answers, so please give me your opinion on whats the best way to keep a partner faithful, or atleast, what actions can a guy do, to keep her girl from seeking ...
A. 30 January 2013: You can't keep a partner from cheating. You can trust that the one you fell in love with is loyal, honest, and loves you.
There are things you can do to raise the risk that she'll choose to cheat, but let me make one thing clear: It's not your... (read in full...)
What to do with flakey friends? When she has a guy she ignores me.
Q. One of my good friends from highschool tends to ignore me when ever a guy pays attention to her. When things end I am the first person she calls when she is sad. I am sick and tired or being put on the back Burner the minute a guy shows her inte...
A. 30 January 2013: Ahh geeze. I think all of us have had friends who are the greatest, truest, most reliable, greatest people to be with, but they turn into fluttery flakes who suddenly forget that there's life outside their newest love interest. It's annoying!
... (read in full...)
Is this a normal cooling off period or silent treatment/emotional abuse/manipulation?
Q. I have been dating a man for just over a year. We broke up at one point for three months because he got cold feet about the relationship. (He’s been divorced for a number of years and hasn’t had a committed relationship in that time, only dated ...
A. 30 January 2013: Personally, I think it's neither a "normal cooling off" period nor a manipulation thing or a silent treatment issue. This situation is something different than either choice.
You are his weekend girl. He's kept you at arm's length pretty m... (read in full...)
Are long distance relationships all about the sex?
Q. I'm just gonna go right out and say it... are long distance relationships just about sex? I mean, if you meet someone online and see them, say, a couple of weekends a month... and it takes around 3 hours to get to them and you're paying for the ...
A. 30 January 2013: Right. Not all LDR's are created equal, but in your example's case, everything you've said is absolutely correct, and here's why:
"but I know this guy who is telling some girl he loves her after knowing her a week or two"
Whether it's ... (read in full...)
Got dumped by BBM and then he deleted me as a contact as soon as I read it
Q. If you are familiar with BBM you will know that someone knows when their message has been delivered and then eventually read. Today I got dumped by BBM and then as soon as he saw that I had read the message, he deleted me! What a coward!! Duh... I ...
A. 29 January 2013: So, uh, what exactly is your question??
It sounds like your question should be "Should I keep being a desperate masochist who never learns?"
You already know the answer to this, and it's that you shouldn't waste your time with this loser.... (read in full...)
Can I live with my boyfriend and still keep the sexual spark?
Q. hey readers, how do you keep sex and physical intimacy fresh and exciting in a longterm monogamous relationship? I'm asking because my bf of 1.5years wants us to live together but i'm worried it'll lead to complacency and the dying down of our curr...
A. 29 January 2013: Sounds like when you cut through all of this worrying about the sexual spark and the squabbles, you're not sure about this guy. You're worried that either YOU will get bored with him, or he'll not like you when he gets to know you in a more ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't talk to me and threatens to leave me if I don't stop nagging him!
Q. Hi My bf of 3 years always ignores me, he doesn't even talk for 10 minutes with me but has time for his friends and for watching TV and playing games. Whenever I ask he says I'm nagging him and if this continues he is gonna leave me. He doesn't eve...
A. 28 January 2013: I think he's either fallen out of love with you OR he might just be taking you for granted. Some relationships simply have an expiration date. Is he still trying to have sex with you?? Do you live together? Doesn't sound like it if you're not ... (read in full...)
My best friend who is like a brother to me admitted that he's gay and attracted to me. I am now avoiding him because I don't know how to handle this
Q. I’m a man in my early thirties and right now I have a complicated situation in my life. My best friend confessed to me that he’s gay. We know each other for almost 25 years and he’s like a brother to me. We grew up together, we went in the same ...
A. 28 January 2013: Oh man, my heart really goes out to both of you. Him because the unbelievable pressure he must have felt that finally caused him to not be able to hold it in any longer, and you because it took you by surprise, and I'm sure you feel like you lost a ... (read in full...)
I want a man who doesn't cheat or look at pornography. Does he exist?
Q. I want a man like this does this even exist? Basically i'm after a man who does not engage in any kind of cheating at all (glances at swimsuit pics mildly acceptable.) but no porn, no talking dirty to others, little female friends, no strip clubs. ...
A. 28 January 2013: Yikes, you've gotta get something through your head right now, or you're in for a lot of heartache:
You're not a guy's mom. You don't get to ALLOW or DISALLOW a guy to do anything. That's controlling. How would you like it if a guy were to ... (read in full...)
Do you think I have missed my chance with this guy or is it worth being somewhere by "accident"on the chance I will bump into him? Or is that desperate?
Q. I had to wait in a queue for half hour or so yesterday and got randomly chatting to this guy who was also waiting. during the conversation he told me 2 or 3 times he was single,divorced, asked if I was.We kept chatting till it was my turn to be se...
A. 28 January 2013: Why does it have to be accidental? If he dropped hints at how you can find him later, why not drop by and ask him out?? It's not desperate! You're interested in him, and you want to date him. Nothing wrong about that!
Just go get him, and let ... (read in full...)
How do I make sure my friends don't judge me for having sex?
Q. Okay before I begin please dont judge me. I know a lot of you are going to and I dont come here to be judged I come here for advice. Okay so my boy friend and I are both the same age and we were both virgins. We both decided that we were ready an...
A. 28 January 2013: Hold a second here. Why are you so terrified of being judged? If you don't regret having sex, then what does it matter? People live for judging other people. Some people have a kind heart, and then they judge you, they also have compassion and ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants me to sell my house and move with him.
Q. I've been with my bf for nearly 4 years. Before i met him, i started building a house and after a few delays it was finished 2 years ago. I have lived there since but he has remained living at home. We are on the verge of breaking up beca...
A. 28 January 2013: Sorry, but your boyfriend is a tool. This whole thing would be a HUGE red flag to me if it came up in a relationship.
Seriously, you worked hard and built a new home, which is very admirable. You are enjoying the fruits of your success. But thi... (read in full...)
Boyfriend drunk said "you are too good to me" What did he mean?
Q. I went drinking with my boyfriend (of nearly 2 months) and his friends. He got drunk and I had to take care of him and get him home safe and tuck him in bed. Before he passed out he said "You are too good to me. You know what that means?" I said ...
A. 27 January 2013: It's a compliment. The "figure it out" was because he was too drunk to spell out where his burst of affection came from. You took care of him and tucked him in.... (read in full...)
I have trust issues with my BF after he sexted his ex on Facebook
Q. Hello all! i have a question about my partner. It's been a rocky road for us but he moved in in november 2012. A week after i discovered messages to his ex lovers, not one but a few, which angered and hurt me immensely. He reminisced about their se...
A. 27 January 2013: If you stay with him for one more day, you might as well tattoo "Doormat" on your own forehead. He doesn't respect you, and you should have tossed him to the curb a long time ago.
He's doing this crap because he can, and because you let him, and... (read in full...)
I want a man who doesn't cheat or look at pornography. Does he exist?
Q. I want a man like this does this even exist? Basically i'm after a man who does not engage in any kind of cheating at all (glances at swimsuit pics mildly acceptable.) but no porn, no talking dirty to others, little female friends, no strip clubs. ...
A. 27 January 2013: There are a lot of honorable men who aren't womanizers or oglers of woman. Sounds to me like you must have dated a serious dog of a guy in your past.
Remember, it'll stunt any future relationships if you carry grudges from what past boyfrien... (read in full...)
Everything else is great. So why does he have to masturbate so often? It's the why I can't understand.
Q. Hello All! I am a woman in my late 40s, in a relationship with a man my age. We're 5 yrs in. Im a widow 6 yrs, 3 grown children, 6 grandchildren -- Pisces. He's a Leo. 2 grown children, diff mothers, always paid child support. But he enjoys lots...
A. 27 January 2013: You need to be honest with him. You've told him before that you think his porn use is okay with you and you find it sexy, but you won't confront him and tell him that it's gone too far, he's addicted, and it's interfering with your sex life.
... (read in full...)
Is looking at porn the morning after you've slept with your girlfriend, a bit odd and uncalled for?
Q. Would anyone else agree with this? Looking at porn the morning after you've slept with your girlfriend is a bit odd and uncalled for? Why would they want to look at someone else that soon?...
A. 27 January 2013: You asked:
"I'm saying wouldn't the satisfaction from the night before still be there?"
Especially if it's a young guy, the refractory period after sex could be as little as 20 minutes and many guys could go again in a couple of hours, so eve... (read in full...)
Is her faith a problem for me?
Q. Hello, My name is Cody and this is my fist time on dearcupid. I'm a college student, English major, and I have been seeing another English major from my class. We seem to have a lot in common, we can talk openly, she is the kind of woman I go for. ...
A. 27 January 2013: How do you know that she's avoiding anger? Choosing a path that doesn't embrace anger or finds ways to tap into a more serene outlook on life isn't the same as avoiding it. Many people who don't believe in God choose a spiritual centrist ... (read in full...)
Is her faith a problem for me?
Q. Hello, My name is Cody and this is my fist time on dearcupid. I'm a college student, English major, and I have been seeing another English major from my class. We seem to have a lot in common, we can talk openly, she is the kind of woman I go for. ...
A. 27 January 2013: Interesting. It's fine to be an atheist, and if she believes in God and accepts you as you are without judgment, what more could you want? But you feel yourself getting angry that she believes in God and you wish she'd turn her back on her ... (read in full...)
Caught fiancee cheating whilst I was pregnant now I am sleeping with his boss
Q. Me and my now EX fiance where dating for 1 and a half years and i became pregnant and we were excited but 6 months into my pregnancy i came home early from my part time job as i wasn't feeling to good so i come home and i hear him shouting out my ...
A. 27 January 2013: It sounds like you're using his boss to get back at him, and that it's not a real relationship here. He cheated on you with a friend, and now you're sleeping with his boss out of revenge.
I say leave it alone, make sure your ex is meeting ... (read in full...)
Porn haters, what would you do in this dilemma?
Q. Hi I am female who hates porn in a relationship first off but I have a dilemma.... Porn haters what would you do in my situation... Go back to the guy who was viewing artistic porn with the sound off and didn't give it up until I ask for a ult...
A. 27 January 2013: I'm curious -- what do you mean by "sexually special"??
Personally, I find that when a guy's interested in me and wants me, I feel pretty sexually special. No incense, rose petals and soap opera sappiness required for me!
Other than that, it's ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is another woman's 'back up guy' in case they're not married by 40! How would you feel about this?
Q. Dear All, How would you act if your boyfriend told you he was another girls back up guy and if there both still 40 they would get married as his rich and reliable? I feel this is disrespectful and it"s upset me but he can't see why? Opinions p...
A. 26 January 2013: I read this a few times and my first thought was that this is the sort of thing people say to each other that they never hope the other takes seriously.
It *is* disrespectful to you for the following reason:
1. He's letting you know subtly that... (read in full...)
Is looking at porn the morning after you've slept with your girlfriend, a bit odd and uncalled for?
Q. Would anyone else agree with this? Looking at porn the morning after you've slept with your girlfriend is a bit odd and uncalled for? Why would they want to look at someone else that soon?...
A. 26 January 2013: I know, it's so weird, right?? I've never quite understood that either! No one's given me a straight answer. My husband's best answer was "I don't know!" which was quite helpful. heh.
So my best theory is that it's not about looking *at* som... (read in full...)
Out of the blue he says he loves me but can't be with me. I don't know what happened!
Q. i met this guy on a dating site.we are talking by mails and on the phone before to meet 5 mnths ago.was a romantic trip.after that we met few more times.he wanted me to be a part of his life and share everythings with me.met me with his friends and ...
A. 26 January 2013: Yeah, don't let yourself break over this guy. Sounds like he's already married/has a girlfriend and was looking for a little sex on the side, so he pursued you, met you, I'm guessing you two slept together, and then he flaked out?
The big indi... (read in full...)
If someone you liked told you not to get in touch would it be really hard not to?
Q. I met someone recently and we spent the night together, it was really great. I know he likes me but I am not ready to get involved with him so I told him not to text or call me. Now I regret it even though I don't want anything serious, and am ...
A. 26 January 2013: I'm not a guy, but I'll answer anyways.
Most guys don't play games. If you tell them to not bother you, chances are they'll take you at your word and not do it. They might also take a blow to the ego too and think that you didn't care for them... (read in full...)
BF reacted badly when I mentioned my physical insecurities about sex - should he be so upset, and how can I fix this?
Q. Ok, I need some insight. Without being too graphic, my boyfriend of over a year and a half and I had finished having sex and were lying in bed. Somewhere along the lines of us just talking he said that he really like when I’m on top and in reverse, ...
A. 26 January 2013: Insecurity is less attractive than a flawed body.
Women with minor flaws with confidence get a lot farther than a pretty woman with crippling insecurities. To a guy, it seems like you're needing validation and that gives off a needy/cl... (read in full...)
What does friends with benefits mean to you?
Q. I have a question for you lovely people.. Me and my ex stopped talking for a long time all of a sudden he missed me ( so he says) he asked me did I wanna be friends with benefits and told me I can't sleep with nobody but him... What is friends with ...
A. 26 January 2013: Friends with benefits is supposed to mean that two people who are fond of each other have sexual itches that they use each other to scratch. FWB means there is no strings, that either person can sleep with anyone else during the arrangement, and ... (read in full...)
My father is a hoarder and has poor hygiene refusing to bathe or wash his hands!
Q. Let me start out by saying I know this is a relationahip forum but this is one of the better sites that gives advice so please answer this question about a family member. This question is more for my mother to ask but the entire family is being ...
A. 25 January 2013: Yeah, if he's been like this for years and it's getting progressively worse, then there's nothing you can do in terms of trying to motivate him, or getting into arguments with him, or pressuring your mom to lean on him. It is the situation, and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to know if he can go to a party where his ex will be. What do I say?
Q. My bf met up with his ex behind my back 2 years ago. He lied about it but the truth eventually came out. Not only that he'd saved semi naked (recent) photos on his computer from her facebook. We had a massive argument and had a break but I ...
A. 25 January 2013: Absolutely go with him! It's a positive sign that he talked to you about this before it happened, and it shows to me that he's more serious about you now than he was two years ago.
Your hesitation is normal too. You've been rebuilding trust wi... (read in full...)
14 and confused about my sexuality
Q. Im 14 and in the Past few months I have been masturbating and suddenly feel an attraction towards gays and orgasm more quickly. Yet at the same time I have never had a crush on a boy and have had many over girls and regularly get erections thinking ...
A. 25 January 2013: Many people have questions about their sexuality from time to time, and at age 14, you are still evolving. Not many people fit neatly into some label and stay there for the rest of their lives, so don't sweat it! Right now, at your age, your ... (read in full...)
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