A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I want a man like this does this even exist? Basically i'm after a man who does not engage in any kind of cheating at all (glances at swimsuit pics mildly acceptable.) but no porn, no talking dirty to others, little female friends, no strip clubs. No talk of attractive celebrities unless prompted. No pictures of glamour models/celebrities hanging about. Masturbation allowed as long as they are only using their mind. Is this possible? Also no trying to change my appearance or negative comments on my appearance. Seems amazing I bet someone has that somewhere!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2013): It is possible and reasonable to find a man who doesn't cheat on you and who doesn’t verbally disparage you by saying you are not as attractive as other women (whether real women he knows or celebrities). But one who never ever looks at porn or has never? In this day and age of the Internet this is going to be highly unlikely. Men differ in how much and how often they look at porn but I think these days most men would look at least once in a while. And not looking at swimsuit models or celebrities? That's unreasonable. Basically it is reasonable to expect to find a man who doesn't invade your boundaries against your will (which is what it is if he tells you that you're not attractive compared to other women). Or who conducts himself honestly by not looking to initiate sexual relationships with other women.But you're taking it too far if you expect a man to not masturbate except with thoughts only (and where do you think those thoughts come from?). Or who never even looks at celebrities. These actions do not invade your boundaries as they are his private actions that don't involve you and he isn't making it into your business, you are.Expecting a man not to have any female friends. Possible to find men who don't but I would be wary of men who don't have any female friends. They tend to not respect women as they cannot see them in any role other than a sexual one (wife or girlfriend) or maternal support one (mother, grandmother etc). I would worry how such men treat female co-workers (disrespectfully?) or female bosses (resentfully?) or subordinates (patronizingly?). Men can and should have sister -type friendships with women as it makes them more emotionally well rounded and sensitive human beings in general. As does having brother type male friends for women.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2013): When I said female friends I am talking about the ones they talk to for ages online, the ones they hang around with in person when there is just the two of them. I'd sat it's fair enough to say no porn allowed aswell as strip clubs.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2013): He might exist. But then when you find him you might not find him attractive. Or he might be boring. Or he might not get on with your mother. Or he'll be incredibly untidy. Or he'll forget your birthday. Or there'll end up being something else wrong with him.Truth, is, the longer your list of specifications for the perfect partner gets, the less and less likely you are to find them. No-one can blame you for wanting a man who respects you and doesn't cheat - we all want that. And it's OK that you're uncomfortable with pornography, if you don't like it you don't have to accept it and don't let anyone tell you different.However, if you're looking for a man who's never ever watched any porn, never even glances at another attractive woman - well, you could be waiting a long time.I would recommend you re-consider why it is you don't want your boyfriend to have female friends though. Personally I often consider a man having female friends to be a sign that he respects women as people and knows how to talk to them, rather than just treating them as sex objects who are of no interest to him unless they're girlfriend material. Men who spend a lot of time in strip clubs or checking out men's magazines (I mean all the time, as opposed to just the occasional look, which most men do) often don't have real female friends because they like to look at women, rather than speak to them.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2013): Well I have read there are some men who don't masturbate in relationships. I have also read that masturbating in a relationship hurts some people in general so masturbating to porn is a double insult!
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male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (28 January 2013):
As others have alluded to, this is not a man issue, this is a you issue. You need to find your confidence and deal with your insecurities. Trust me, the man you are describing doesnt exist.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2013): I have that kind of man and I feel very blessed. It is all about me and my body and mind. I am amazed I actually found one.
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (28 January 2013):
You're going to have to sort out your extreme insecurity issues if you ever want to have a nice, fulfilling relationship with someone.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2013): Hmmm... I meant just looking at it for a bit of recreation, but masturbating to it is too far for me.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 January 2013):
 ", glances at swimsuit editions when I'm not there allowed. "
... Do you even realize how many times a day you yourself look at men in their underwear? How do you intend to stop looking at commercials for boxers, or fitness commercials, or TV-shop selling some workout equipment, or the tanning studio commercials, or simply... guys without shirts on a hot summer day.
How exactly are you going to make it "not allowed" to look at these things? And.. what exactly is the problem with seeing these things? Does it burn your eyes? Do you get wet by seeing a mans naked skin? Are you promoting women and men alike wear a burka?
Unless you were to get turned on by the mere glimpse of these things, why would you need to never look at it? What is the supposed effect this has on you?
There's a difference between jerking off to a swimsuit commercial, and simply looking at it as you read through a magazine. Do you honestly think that men get turned on and want to have sex with a girl just because she wears a swimmingsuit? I guess you can forget about going to the beach with your boyfriend then, or go swimming with him, or go hiking (as women often wear just shorts and a sports bra when hiking).
You need to apply more logic to this irrationality.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (28 January 2013):
 Yikes, you've gotta get something through your head right now, or you're in for a lot of heartache:
You're not a guy's mom. You don't get to ALLOW or DISALLOW a guy to do anything. That's controlling. How would you like it if a guy were to ALLOW you to only wear certain clothes, or ALLOW you to only hang out with certain friends up to certain hours per night or week? Seriously. What if a guy thought one of your friends was too promiscuous, so he wouldn't ALLOW you to have a friendship with her?
Everyone would jump all over the guy's case for being controlling, and rightly so!
You can expect a guy to be faithful and true to you, but you don't get to dictate what turns him on, or what he can and can't look at, or how long his phone conversations last, or anything. You have to take ALLOW out of your vocabulary, or good and honest guys will run away from you.
Relationships are trust, and your insecurities are destroying your ability to trust, no matter what, and a guy isn't supposed to accommodate your insecurities, because they are never satisfied. Insecurity is insatiable, and you'll go LOOKING for him to so-called cheat on you by doing something innocent that you perceive as NOT ALLOWED.
Trust that he won't cheat on you, and find a compatible guy from the start who isn't a porn addict, and you won't have to worry about allowing or not allowing things. Other than that, you don't own his sex drive any more than he owns yours. For you to tell him "You can only use your mind and cartoon porn" is like him telling you "You can only get stimulated by my penis for 40 seconds, not my hands and not your own hands or a sex toy". Nope.
Take "allow" out of your vocabulary, work on your own insecurities, and deal with your trust issues before you inflict them on an otherwise good guy.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2013): I'm sorry, but your standards are set way too high. I'm sure you're a great person, you're just apparently VERY insecure. Anyway, I think you should know that men are always going to notice beautiful women no matter how "in love" they are. It doesn't mean they think the women they look at are more beautiful then their partners, but there's just so many different types of beauty they can't appreciate just one, different hair colors, eye colors, skin tones, body types, facial structures, etc. You could be the most beautiful woman in the world (if there is such a thing), and your man would still notice others. That said, I agree with you about not having pictures of glamour models. That's different than just noticing an attractive woman walking by every now and then. I mean, if I walked into a guy's bedroom and saw pictures or posters of models hung up all over his wall, I would think "and how old are you again?" That's something a teenage boy would do, NOT something a grown man should be doing. As for porn, I wouldn't worry too much about that. In most cases, I suspect guys watch porn to see sex/sex-related things, and they don't care too much about the actresses. Now, if they're looking up videos or pictures of one particular actress, and spending more time looking at her than you, then you should be concerned. No guy should ever make his partner feel second best to some random porn star.The other aunts/uncles pretty much covered what I was going to say about having female friends. I agree you should never try to control who someone is or isn't friends with.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013): There are these type of men out there. But honestly, who would want to be with someone who controls what they look at and who they're friends with? In order to have a complete mature, fulfilling relationship you need to be secure with yourself first, because I can tell you 100% wholly that no man is going to stop noticing other beautiful women and appreciating the beauty of others just because he is with you. A man who is in a relationship doesn't all of a sudden turn blind.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013): I dont know why women are so much bothered by the fact that a man watches porn. How can anyone even care about that, and what exactly does it signifies? I dont even know if my husband watches pon, may be he does,when i m asleep,i couldnt care less. Now, if he watched some illegal porn, That of course would be different, but regular porn, who cares!I also wouldnt care about his female friends, unless he hangs out with them instead of me. If we hang out together, or he goes out with them when i cant, so why would it bother me?Unless he gives me reasons.My husband deffinitely looks at women. And he likes them petite,and thin, no big boobs. I m very opposite,average height, size 8, big boobs. We discuss passing by women together, having fun. How can it possibly bother me.he doesnt do anything innapropriate, he gives them a glance.He doesnt cheat, thats all that matters, but other insignificant things dont bother me at all.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013): Okay female friends allowed but no exstensive phone chat. Cartoon porn allowed, imagination allowed, glances at swimsuit editions when I'm not there allowed.
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (27 January 2013):
"little female friends"
What does the number of female friends mean though? I fail to see how that is in any way relevant. The way he treats his female friends is far more relevant. If he is respectful to his female friends and has 20 of them, then there is no problem. If he's got one female friend who always calls at 2 AM saying how much she wants him, then that's one female friend too many....
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (27 January 2013):
Headline question: yes, these men exist.
However.. what are you on about? " Basically i'm after a man who does not engage in any kind of cheating at all (glances at swimsuit pics mildly acceptable.) " Looking at other women is NOT cheating. I think you need to define what constitutes cheating. Cheating = going behind your back in terms of betrayal towards you and your relationship, tends to include a lot of lying. Things YOU dislike, but are not cheating: looking at other women in general, talking dirty to others (I guess this includes his male friends, and any sexually related joking).
"No pictures of glamour models/celebrities hanging about." You do know that most guys DON'T have pictures hanging around? And the only place I've seen such pictures at at work, where by the way women work to, I mean I've seen them haven't I? Doesn't mean I go around hanging them up, but they're going to be seen, by men, and by women, once others hang them up. What would you expect your man to do, tear them down for your sake?
You're asking for too much control. In a relationship you always need to give your partner freedom, and not try to control everything. You can't control what he looks at, or what he thinks, not should you. However there are men who freely and happily will only think of you. But that doesn't come from demanding it, that comes from the guy just being that type of person. And discovering that he IS that type of person, well, that can take however long. It's not as if a man will tell you that his sexual fantasies all revolve around you on the first date.
"Masturbation allowed as long as they are only using their mind." Masturbation ALLOWED? Listen to yourself. A man is free to do as he wishes, you desire to put him on a leash. You will not have a good relationship if your starting point is to control what he does or does not do. In a relationship you are not entitled to tell a man if he can masturbate or not. You are free to ask if there's a specific reason for it, but you are not entitled to demand it. You need to leave behind that type of attitude. Rephrase it to: I do not apporve of porn, but what you imagine is your business not mine. That is a more gentle approach, that doesn't include the word "allow" or "deny".
As for changing your appearance or dislike how you look.. I've never come across a man who had any negative comments. That's not really something you need to ask for, it's a given. It speaks for itself... You can't be in a relationship with someone who dislike how you look!
So to sum it up, at some points I think you have a wild imagination about what men do. You think they critizise womens looks and hang up posters of glamour models everywhere and cheat every chance they get. But they don't. You have a very negative outlook on men, and I wonder how that came to be. Either you're inexperienced in relationship, or you've had bad luck with me.
Then again, on other points you demand too much. Such as not being allowed to masturbate unless you've given it your approval. A man owns his own body just like you own yours... Being in a relationship doesn't entitle you to anything, it doesn't mean you own one another. Yes, there are men who don't look at porn, but you need to go find that man who doesn't like porn, and then be content with that. You can't go out and demand to be presented with such a man, or declare that the relationship is over if he as much as glances at a woman in a manner that you do not approve of. That would bound for an endless series of check-ups, controls and arguments over what basically is your imagination running wild.
When a man looks at another woman it is the same as when you look at another woman. You can LOOK. You can see that over there stands a female with blond hair, or hey, that one over there is wearing a skirt and that one over there is wearing jeans. You look, you have eyes. A man looks too, he too has eyes. But looking does not equal picturing her naked and wanting to lay her down and hump her. Not any more than you want to spread your legs to every man YOU happen to look at on a daily basis.
I happen to have a boyfriend who's perfect fantasy is me. I didn't ask for it, and seems like a waste on me when I don't mind porn at all. Yet he'd rather think of me. It's charming, but although he prefers me he does look at porn from time to time (although rarely). So I think that even if you find a man who desires you most of all, he'd still want to think about something else from time to time, for a chance. Maybe he wont need porn, a man does have imagination... But where will you draw the line? My man has the hots for woodland elves. They're not real, there's no real porn with elves. But there's tons of erotic images, painted or drawn. Is that porn or imagination? Where will you draw the line?
I think in your case it would be best if you have a conversation with a botyfriend about this, and together define what you think is okay and not. Is erotic litterature ok? Is it okay if he primarily thinks about you, but is free to imagine others (humans or fantasy creatures)? There are so many gray areas, and you and him need to sit down and determine where the line goes, without things crossing over into you demanding things from him. It needs to be a mutual agreement.
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female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (27 January 2013):
 Well there are men around like this. Go out date more you will stomp or run across some I sure with that controlling insecurity you have. But on a positive note just cause past lovers did alk these things listed dont me all do. Plus I here 2 out of 10 isnt bad at all. Give the next guy a chance he may be week in one area but lacking in others so if you have high standards keep them especially with cheating and respect. Hope it works out for you.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (27 January 2013):
There are a lot of honorable men who aren't womanizers or oglers of woman. Sounds to me like you must have dated a serious dog of a guy in your past.
Remember, it'll stunt any future relationships if you carry grudges from what past boyfriends/husbands did to you. You never hold a future partner responsible for the sins of the past.
A guy will always appreciate beauty no matter where it is. But a well-mannered guy won't rubberneck other women in front of his girlfriend.
And you have a part to play here too. You can't be so insecure as to go looking for the slightest infraction to show some wandering eye and thus accuse him of cheating because he doesn't start acting like the female gender doesn't exist.
As for porn use, it's not quite so common to find a guy who outright disdains it, but it's more common to find a guy who uses it in moderation discreetly once in awhile.
As for criticizing your appearance, most guys don't do that...usually when they're with a girl, they love them as they are. It's usually the girls who start picking apart and amplifying their own flaws in front of their boyfriend in order to seek their validation. They end up asking entrapment questions like "I really need to work on my arm tone", and when a guy doesn't automatically say "Your arms are beautiful just the way they are", they take it as the guy doesn't approve.
Don't ever make a man responsible for assuaging insecurities. That's too much pressure on a relationship. No cheating is a no brainer, but to hold other people's stuff against him is no good, and if you're so insecure as to consider it cheating when he simply says a "she's pretty" comment about some passing celebrity on TV, then you need some work on yourself too.
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male
reader, Hennessy1989 +, writes (27 January 2013):
 You want a man you can completely control, you are a complete control freak. You may find a man that does most of these things, but it won't last. Just reading your question and your 'rules' would put 99% of men off
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female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (27 January 2013):
 I have a man like that, except for the female friends, but i know most of his female friends.
To be perfectly honest, I think it's slightly unreasonable to dictate how many female friends a guy has. Actually, dictate how many friends he has at all!!! I had an ex who 'disliked' some of my friends, so i stopped talking to them to not cause arguements and i lost contact with a lot of good people, i will ALWAYS hate him for that.
You need to broaden your horizons a little. Ok, so a guy who doesn't cheat is always a big bonus, and there are plenty of men out there who wouldn't dream of cheating on someone they love! As someone else has said, porn is fantasy based, and something that men don't really act on.
I feel that you are somewhat deluded. No-one is perfect, everyone has some flaws. Setting such high standards will leave you very lonely if you constantly look for something wrong in every guy who comes along. If you're expecting a knight in shining armour on his trusty steed to sweep you off your feet, I would have a healthy supply of tea and biscuits handy, as you may be waiting a while...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013): I agree completely with uncle PJ. There are some things you should not put up with (cheating, a man putting you down or constantly visiting strip clubs) but I fear you are being too controlling in a man from watching porn or having female friends. These are just normal things that even nice guys who won't cheat on you do do. Maybe you should try making friends with some nice men at work or join a club + get to know men who are nice guys non - romantically. Then you will see men from a different perspective not so much 'them' and 'us'. There are plenty of nice men, I have 3 lovely guy friends + am very close to my brother. None of them cheat or put women down but they all have female friends + I'm betting they all watch porn. You have obviously been hurt by a nasty man + for that I am sorry. Look out for the nice ones they are the fun, self aware guys who like women + enjoy life + they are everywhere, just avoid the a-holes + don't waste your time on them. X x x
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 January 2013):
 A guy who won't cheat or look at porn????? You might as well suggest, as well, that he will be riding a UNICORN!!!.... 'cuz then BOTH of them will be Fig Newtons of your imagination......
Good luck......
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013): Would you be ok if he expected the same of you?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013): So basically you want a man who will abide by your every rule, but he's not allowed to have a say on any aspect of your life whatsoever? Nah I doubt he exists, sorry to disappoint.
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (27 January 2013):
You can find a guy like that for the most part. Except instead of not watching porn he'll just lie to you about it.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 January 2013):
 That was my first husband.
My current husband is all of the above except for the porn.
Yep men like that do exist. I think with the advent of technology (smart phones and computers) that finding guys who do not engage in some porn use is going to be harder than when I was your age (stone age before computers and cell phones)
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female
reader, R1 +, writes (27 January 2013):
 I've never met a man who doesn't look at porn, only ones who don't tell their partners! Unfortunately relationships are about compromise so you'll probably have to give in on some of those things but its good to know what you want from a man and not to allow bad behaviour (like cheating). I hope your perfect man comes along soon... :)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013): "Seems amazing I bet someone has that somewhere!"
Has what? You have simply offered a laundry list of behaviors you find unacceptable. Your entire post is devoted to telling us what a man can't do in order to meet your lofty standards yet you give no indication of what you could do to meet what a mature, responsible, loving, male might consider reasonable expectations in a woman.
You're not describing the man you want, you're describing the habits you don't want, presumably previously encountered in past loser exes. Apparently you want a guy who will tell you what you want to hear and not do what you don't want him to do, fawning over and flattering and fluffing you while you contribute absolutely nothing to your relationship so your presence doesn't improve or elevate or in any way better his life.
I can see a self-absorbed yet insecure chick like you being taken in by a charming manipulative con artist who says and does what you consider all the right things as a way to lure you in so he can begin to manipulate and control you, bending your will and subjugating your personality to his. Lotsa luck.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013): Little female friends sounds as if you have insecurity issues. The rest wouldn't be a problem for a lot of guys but the friends thing would be. It's not for you to decide who your partner can or can't be friends with.
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male
reader, Uncle PJ  +, writes (27 January 2013):
 You may take this as a 'typical guy' answer, which I can assure you I am not. There may well be certain guys out there whom you are seeking but it will be extremely rare unless they are strictly religious or blind then you'll find plenty of eligible candidates.
You're description brings about many curiosities and I don't mean to cause any offence but you seem to an extremely controlling person and wish to be in charge in a relationship with a guy who will worship you wholly.
I can completely understand your need of not cheating as cheating shouldn't happen and no-one deserves to be cheated on. If you truly love someone then you won't even think of cheating on them. The same goes for not wanting your partner to visit strip clubs or say negative things about you. If he truly loves you then he should love everything about you and then wouldn't wish to change you and definitely not wish to pay to enter a seedy, disgusting establishment to see some cheap whore flash her assets in their face.
So on those terms, I think you're being extremely reasonable and yes there are plenty of guys like that who have no interest in strip clubs, will never cheat or talk you down. But here is where I struggle to understand certain problems in certain circumstances.
1. Little female friends. You come across extremely jealous and possessive. What difference should having many female friends make. As long as he is completely faithful, which he should be, and is always puts you first. Why does it matter how many female friends he has? They're called friends for a reason. He's not going to run off with a friend, your fears of this make you seem insecure and as I said jealous and possessive and these traits will drive plenty of men away. Do you have many male friends?
2. Are you classing cheating as porn? If so then your conceptions as to why most men watch it are extremely misguided. Whilst watching porn, we are not doing it because the girl involved is prettier or better than the woman we love. We're not doing it because we're bored of you or want something other than you. Men usually watch porn as A) a quick relief and B) being able to divulge in a fantasy or situation that they would never dream of acting out in real life. As long as the man is watching porn for those reasons alone and never chooses porn over you, always comes to you for pleasure and romance first, why should this cause a problem?
3. The same can be said for celebrity crushes. What difference does this make. They are crushes for a reason. The main one being because they'd never get a chance to be with them. But also because they are pretty or whatever. But usually the guy would still always pick you over the celebrity because it's only a fantasy. The guys that you must have come into contact with before now must have been obsessed with a certain celebrity and choose them over you. Those are the guys you must avoid and are the ones who are extremely stupid. But again as long as this 'fantasy' is minimal and he never compares the two of you or obsessively talks about her, why should this matter? And surely there must be a celebrity that you have a crush on?
As I said I don't wish to offend you but you sound like one of those hating all women type of woman. As long as the man always puts you first and treats you perfectly, I don't see the problem with some of your 'needs' and your scope for finding someone who ticks all of the boxes is extremely small.
I don't know if this will help but I want to tell you about myself and as I said I don't think I'm a 'typical guy'. When it comes to a relationship, my proposed girlfriend will always come first no matter. For any sexual needs or romantic needs or whatever I will always go to her first no matter what.
Cheating is out of the question, you just cannot cheat on a partner. I also have no desire to visit a strip club as I think it's a complete waste of money. I do have female friends, not many but I converse with them quite often. But I would never dream of doing anything romantic or sexual with them because I have no such feelings for them and all my love is for my proposed girlfriend.
As for celebrity crushes. Yes I think Myleene Klass is amazing or Katy Perry. But no to the point where I'll always go on about them. If they're on tv I'll probably say how good she looks or whatever but that's it. I'd never dream for my loved one to look or be anything like the celebrities and given the choice, the loved one would always win.
Now, maybe because it's my age or whatever, I masturbate at least once a day, usually more. It's not because I have to look at someone or anything, it's because it's become stupidly routine and my motivation to fight any urges is currently non-existent due to being single.
This means I watch porn at least once a day, this would not be the case in a relationship, and I flick onto Babestation daily. This is because they will give me a quick release. I would never dream of having any sexual or romantic relationship with a babestation girl because quite frankly they're whores. The same goes for the porn, I only watch it to visualise certain fantasies that again I'd never dream of acting out in real life.
But all of this is immaterial because my loved one will always come first and I'd tell her everyday how much I love her and how I'd never want her to change. Given all this, I don't see how that makes me an awful guy or even completely undesirable given your checklist. I hope this response doesn't upset or anger you or anything but I just thought it had to be said.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013): My husband doesn't look at porn or dirty magazines. He doesn't oogle other woman. If I comment on a pretty woman he just nods his head. He does masturbate and I recently discovered it was primarily fantasies of other woman. Soooo, that one hurt. But we are working with a sex therapist who shared that when you think about your partner during masturbation, it ultimately enhances closeness. Because once the man goes from fantasy about you to actually sexual intercourse the arousal is heightened. I gave you my personal experience because you sound like me. You want your man to be focused on you. It get it. But realize they were designed to keep the human race going. God designed the men to be visual creatures.So they plant their seed. There are plenty of men who stay focused on their woman. Mine just never had a good sex talk in his youth by his father...therefore, wasn't taught boundaries around focusing sexual thoughts on your own woman. He does now and our connection is so much more amazing. I'm lucky, I guess....that this is the only thing negative in the male sexual being department I had to deal with. I do disagree with the previous poster. If a man isn't desiring sex too much if at all, that's a problem. Keep your boundaries...communicate with prospective men once you gain trust. Men are scared to be honest about how they really think. So, you have to also be respectful of them. So, you don't get a man who hides stuff from you because he will do that out of shame or a desire to be "perfect" in the eyes of the woman he loves. Communicate, communicate, communicate with the man you want it builds trust and closeness.
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (27 January 2013):
Of course it’s possible, the generalisations about most men seem to me to be based on little substantial evidence but rather result from people applying their own experiences or the experiences of people close to them to form a view of all men. I’m sure men who’ve been treated badly by women may do exactly the same in forming a judgement about all women. The simple answer is that men and women are as varied in their behaviour, expectations and attitudes to relationships as each other. The main thing is that you know what you want out of a man so you know what you need to be looking out for.
I wish you all the very best.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013): By little female friends i mean not many lol
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female
reader, Staceily +, writes (27 January 2013):
 Well that's my husband so men like that do exist. He doesn't watch porn, has never talked dirty (funny to think about), no female friends little or big, hasn't been to a strip club since before he met me and it was for a bachelor thing for a friend. He won't say anything about a celebrity being attractive unless I ask or I mention how attractive one is, even then he will only say 'sure, she's pretty' at most, no gushing or ogling. So yeah, guys like that definitely exist. You need to find someone respectful, serious about a relationship, and who doesn't put a huge emphasis on sex or things of a sexual nature. I dated the porn obsessed guys too and the ones with half naked women on their walls or computers... I don't blame you for wanting something better.
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