A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How do you keep your girl from cheating? Please i am asking for a range of different answers, so please give me your opinion on whats the best way to keep a partner faithful, or atleast, what actions can a guy do, to keep her girl from seeking elsewhere... thanks in advance Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 January 2013):
 You can't "make" other people do or not do something. You can however DATE women who have the same attitude towards cheating as you do and who believes in having a monogamous relationship and well, having some morals.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2013): You can't keep anyone from cheating. If you really love someone, you have no interest in seeing what else is out there, your focus is on your partner only. There are never any justifications, excuses, or blaming others for cheating.
People who are more likely to cheat? People who cannot commit to one person, people who have low self-esteem, people who crave attention...need to be the center all the time, people who are weak individuals, people who are immature, people who don't have very many morals or values, people who blame everyone else for their problems, but rarely take responsibility for their own actions and choices, people who have a history of being dishonest, people who have too much time on their hands and spend way too much time on the computer, people who are impulsive and not a lot of self control.....etc, etc., etc....
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (30 January 2013):
How to "keep" your gf from cheating?
A - Be VERY VERY careful about who you have as a gf. Cheaters usually show themselves very quickly, on one way or another. The first thing I would tell you in selecting a woman is this, before you finish the first date, find out what type of relationship she has/had with her father. If its anything other than just peachy, run. Run fast and run far. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Pay the check and leave, delete her number from your phone, and do not answer he if she ever calls you. Just doing this I believe will cull out a large majority of women who will cheat.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (30 January 2013):
 you cant keep a girl from cheating on you if she is that type of girl. what i mean by that type of girl is: example "she may date you , & cheat see someone else. dates someone else for a while & gets bored of them & see's someone else."
a girl, or guy like that you are wasting your time with them. your trust is going to be low with them. you will always be wondering what they are doing when you are not with them, you may even drill them asking what they are doing all the time " driving them crazy & yourself ."
find a girl you know you can trust. that you can trust when you are with her, & when she is not with you. you can judge her by her character " good qualities, good traits, how she acts around you, your friends, ,your family, & her family."
" what actions can a guy do to keep a girl from seeking elsewhere.".... you can work on yourself by being the person a girl wants to be with. no girl wants to be neglected, she wants to have attention given to her " she wants to know you love her." she wants to feel special, the most important person in your life. she wants to be treated with respect. nothing wrong with opening a door for her, showing you value her even in small ways.telling her you love her.
sure you can have your buddies , but keep your priorities not to neglect her. it all comes down to making her feel loved, important ,& not neglected .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2013): It depends on the reason why it could be that they are unhappy or they fall in lost or love for someone else or just because they are selfish and they cheat because they want to. And If its down to the latter then their is nothing that you can do about it. But the most important things in a relationship is honesty,trust and good comunication and a good sex life.
Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (30 January 2013):
 There's no special remedy that will make your girlfriend not cheat. honestly, it's just the luck of the draw about the type of girl you wind up with. some women are just honest, good girlfriends who won't cheat no matter what. others will cheat, even if you give them everything they need. it just comes down to the integrity of the girl you're with. pick wisely! lol.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (30 January 2013):
 You can't keep a partner from cheating. You can trust that the one you fell in love with is loyal, honest, and loves you.
There are things you can do to raise the risk that she'll choose to cheat, but let me make one thing clear: It's not your fault that your partner would cheat. You can't cause her to cheat. Many cheaters try to justify that line of thinking by saying "if you were better in bed" or "if you hadn't gained weight" or "I thought you were cheating" or "you took me for granted" or "I was bored and our relationship was stale". Bottom line, a cheater who had those feelings could have CHOSEN to work on their relationship or break up instead of cheat.
Sometimes guys or girls are unlucky with partners who are cheaters because they're attracted to the type who leans towards dishonesty. Like a girl who is attracted to bad boys, or a guy who prefers a high-strung trophy who's a player rather than someone who might not be flashy, but is honest and loyal, like the Betty/Veronica syndrome.
One of the biggest ways to avoid dealing with cheating in a relationship is NOT to ever date a cheater! If a girl or a guy has a reputation for cheating on their partners or spouses, even if you're the one they cheated with and left their boyfriend for, you're at high risk she'll cheat again. Never date a married woman, just as a woman should never date a married man.
Find a woman also who isn't desperate for the attention of many men, whose self-worth isn't tied into how many guys are interested in her. This works both ways as well.
You can never foolproof a relationship, because that's the risk of trust, and the reward of trust is being with someone who you feel lucky to have, that you know could have any guy she wants, but she loves you.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (30 January 2013):
 Maintain attraction. Do this by teasing being playful maybe even a little rude sometimes not to mention little things like cards or a rose here and there. Dont go all soft on her but be a gentleman.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (30 January 2013):
 when a person cheats it is not 'caused' by the partner who has suffered a cheating partner.
You can be the most wonderful, amazing in every way partner, and if you are suffering a partner who is cheating then the problem is with the cheater, not the partner suffering a partner who thinks it's ok to cheat.
Some people are selfish, self focused, and it all about them. When they see an opportunity to cheat, especially if they think they'll never be caught then they will cheat.
Some are even more blatant and will cheat and not care if their partner finds out. Because cheats always have an excuse and a million reasons to explain that it's 'not how it looks'. When it really is cheating.
Best way to not suffer a cheater? Never choose a cheater in the first place. Or if you discover an instance then cut your losses there and then. Sure it's short term pain to break up. But every time a cheat gets away with cheating they become more bold. And they also become smarter over time about covering up their cheating. Sometimes even joining up with another cheater so they can 'cover' for each other.
Eg: Lucy says she going to a Day Spa with Linda for the whole afternoon. Linda will back her up on this. Except one of them, at least, is elsewhere. And Linda can fill in Lucy with any pertinent points so it sounds like she was there.
Guys do it too. So Bob says he and Rusty are going fishing for the weekend or golf for the day. Sure all the gear is loaded into the car. On the way back Bob might even meet Rusty to ensure he has some fish to take home. Or rub some grass and dirt on his golf clubs and his apparel.
At the start of a relationship you should not need to spell out that cheating is a deal-breaker.
But if a partner demonstrates some inconsistencies then ask some specific pertinent questions.
Don't rely on 'outraged and indignant' responses, because cheaters can become very adept at blustering their way out of a tight corner with lies.
And the partner suffering a cheating partner should NEVER have to resort to checking a partner's emails, peeking at their partner's phones or worse, engaging a private detective to check up on a partner. If a partner has reached the stage where they want to 'police' their partner's cheating (because they suspect a partner is cheating) - then the person trying to check up has gone too far.
If you suspect your partner is cheating then sit them down and ask for complete honesty and be honest back. explain your concerns and your expectations and what is a deal breaker.
If that's too difficult then talk it over with a counsellor present to keep it honest and the discussion fair.
A propensity to cheat is a part of who some people are. They justify it. They see it as their right. Sometimes they don't want to be caught. Though some keep on taking increasing risks, almost as if they get a thrill (for themselves) of cheating and getting away with, more so if they just escape from being caught.
Cheats cheat even is they have it all at home.
Cheats cheat even if their partner is exceptionally attractive.
Cheats cheat even if their partner cherishes and adores them.
Cheats will always find an excuse claimimg that is why they cheat or cheated.
But it all comes down to a lack of empathy and a selfishness by the cheat. The cheat is disrespecting their primary partner.
If they don't want to be with their primary partner, then break up.
If they do want to stay exclusive with their primary partner then they can either learn to say no to every sexual offer or sexual opportunity outside their primary relationship, or get some therapy maybe from a sex addiction counsellor or a sex therapist. And learn to commit to one partner during their committed primary relationship.
Cheating causes too much pain and is heart breaking. I have seen others suffer too much. Only once did a fairly new boyfriend (dating for 3 months) cheat on me. I made my mind up, in the face of very obvious evidence, that he and I were finished. I never regretted that decision. Yes I was hurt and felt betrayed. But I wasted no further time with him. And said no again to him when he broke up with her just three weeks later.
I saved myself so much more heartache by turning my back on him. And instead met someone who was so much more honorable.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (30 January 2013):
Keeping her satisfied in and out of the bedroom is a good place to start.
Don't give them the freedom to do whatever they want... What I mean by that is you shouldn't let her get into a situation where she might be tempted, such as studying at the house of a guy she goes to school with.
One thing to remember is that some people cheat no matter how much they love you and how happy they are with you for countless different reasons. And the truth is there is not much you can do about it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2013): "How do you keep your girl from cheating?"
Dump her so she's not "your girl" anymore, then when she's banging other guys it's not cheating.
Nothing a guy can do to "keep" a girl from cheating.
If "your girl" real or imagined wants to cheat, then she will and when caught she will always have a reason, excuse, justification or rationalization to defend her indefensible behavior, and it will usually be that it's somehow all your fault because your shortcoming(s) drove her into the arms and bed of another man.
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A
female
reader, babalou  +, writes (30 January 2013):
 If she doesn't plan to be faithful in the first place, she's no good. There shouldn't be anything that you have to do to keep her from cheating.
BUT I will recommend meeting her emotional and physical needs, spending time with her, etc. Just satisfying her as much as you can without putting yourself in an uncomfortable position. And you also have to be faithful yourself.
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