I'm in a relationship, but my high sex drive has caused me to have feelings for someone I shouldn't. What should I do?
Q. Hi everyone, Just a little background on my problem. I am in a LDR of two and a half years. I see my boyfriend several times a year, and we are completely and totally in love. I have a remarkably high sex drive, but our sexual relationship bar...
A. 1 December 2012: How would you feel if your LDR boyfriend cheated on you with another girl (made out, didn't have sex), and then kept her around as his supposed "best friend"? Would you be 100% happy that she's still in his life and he has urges to have sex with ... (read in full...)
Orgasms out of sync with ejaculation?
Q. I have a question about an issue I've been having. Basically, it seems like my ejaculation and orgasms have gotten out of sync. This has only happened in the past 5 years or so, previously they happened at exactly the same time. I'll try to ...
A. 29 November 2012: That is unusual. Is this only during sex, or do you have this issue during masturbation and oral sex as well?
This actually is more common when a guy starts taking specific medications like blood pressure medications, opiates (vicodin... (read in full...)
My boyfriend constantly brings up my past, how do I get him to see I've changed and help us move on together?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for 11 months. 16 months ago I split up from my husband and went a little crazy, craving attention from absolutely any guy I met. I slept with a few guys but would also get guys numbers and constantly text them and email ...
A. 27 November 2012: Why do you feel the need to "get him" to see anything?? Because he snooped and pilfered through your stuff to dig through your personal texts?? Frankly, I think he is the one who needs to prove to you that he treasures you as you are.
You h... (read in full...)
How do we bring back the fun in our sex life with 2 young children?
Q. How do I bring the fun back in my wife's and I sex life with two toddles ?...
A. 21 November 2012: Yep. Exactly. Schedule time away for her and you. Make it a regular thing. Otherwise, look for ways to simplify both of your lives. If you have some money, a house cleaning service is fantastic. Helping with busywork like cooking or laundry ... (read in full...)
My husband is terrible with money and blames me! I've tried talking to him but it doesn't work, what can I do next?
Q. My husband makes bad decisions when it comes to money. He will buy any thing from any body. We have a business in the city but he insisted on moving 1 1/2 hour away from work. We spent months driving to houses and land. Some of the were 2 hrs a...
A. 20 November 2012: Huh. This isn't really about money for either of you. This is about you not trusting him, and about his ego and fear that your dissent of him is emasculating him, causing the lashouts.
His blaming you and saying you "ruin his life" sounds s... (read in full...)
Gained weight since being in a relationship, it affects our sex life, and really want to lose it! Any tips?
Q. Hey guys, this isn't really a dating question, but it does effect my sex life with my boyfriend. I am currently 180lbs at 5f 6 inches, and this is the heaviest I have ever been! Before I moved in with my boyfriend I was around 140/150 a...
A. 20 November 2012: Listen to Cerberus!!! If you continue to do what you're doing, you will TRASH your metabolism! Your body will go into starvation mode, releasing cortisol, and will cause your body to freak out and try to horde fat. When you stop this ridiculous ... (read in full...)
Hooked up with friend... help!!!
Q. I may be completely outrageous here but this is my situation. a long time crush just broke up with her bf of 6 year (he cheated). i took the opportunity to comfort her but i definitely had feelings for her. we started hanging out as friends once a ...
A. 20 November 2012: You're single, so it isn't wrong to do what you did in terms of cheating on this girl you've been interested in. How do you know that she didn't also have a quick hookup as part of her healing process?
Right now, this girl you've been pursuing... (read in full...)
Are we boyfriend and girlfriend? We never had 'the talk'!
Q. Well this guy and I met online. We have been seeing each other for about a month now. He is a navy corpsman (doc) who is stationed with the marines. Everything has been great he texts me a few times through out the day but doesn't blow up my phone. ...
A. 20 November 2012: If you want to be his girlfriend, then you should ask him about what he said. It's smart that you don't want to assume anything. Becoming exclusive is an actual step in a relationship. A month to me might be a little soon, but not in the scary ... (read in full...)
Is it better to lose your virginity to another virgin?
Q. I have a couple different questions here. 1. Do you think it is better to lose your virginity to another virgin, or to someone who knows what they are doing in the bedroom? Why do you think either way is better? 2. Is it creepy for a 22 year ...
A. 16 November 2012: I think you should lose your virginity to someone you love with every fiber of your being, and that the person you lose it to should also love you back the same way, and enough time should have been put into the relationship where the whole issue of ... (read in full...)
I found email my b/f wrote to his ex before we met and now I can't believe anything he has ever told me!
Q. I've been in a relationship with my fiance for 3 years now and we have a 14 month old child together. When we met he'd not long come out of a relationship and told me he'd been with the girl for a couple of years and she'd manipulated him into ...
A. 16 November 2012: You are destroying your relationship if you haven't done irreparable damage already by what you've done. You shuffled through his emails, read his past love letters, and now you're trashing your relationship. He hasn't done anything wrong by ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants to remain a virgin until marriage, but what if she breaks up with me and has sex with the next guy?
Q. my girlfriend and i have been dating a year now, but she still a virgin at the age of 25. we fool around alot and i go down on her and give her alot of orgasms and my finger gets more sex than me and i havn't had sex for over a year. proble...
A. 12 November 2012: Why are you thinking about a "next guy"?? What is causing you to consider someone after you? Do you love her?
You just might be incompatible with her if you can't wait until marriage. There's no shame in that, because being celibate before m... (read in full...)
My 54 year old boyfriend ejaculates prematurely
Q. I've met a lovely gentleman. He is 54 and we have been seeing each other for a few months. We are both ready to take the relationship to the next step but when we get down to it he seems to ejaculate within seconds of me touching him. We have tried ...
A. 11 November 2012: Schrodinger is right. Until his control improves, you should have your orgasm before he ever enters you, so that you're completely fulfilled.
One thing he might want to do is have an insurance orgasm, meaning about an hour or a little more, he... (read in full...)
I got back with my ex and made a big mistake!
Q. I've made a big mistake getting back with my ex! We split up at the start of the yr over his bad attitude and his abusive behaviour. He moved out at got his own place, he had been in his place about 6 mths when he started to pursue a relationship ...
A. 10 November 2012: Hmm...not so fast, though I totally get AuntyBimBim's advice, and in the end, you most likely will need to go with it.
However, before you do, I saw something huge in what you wrote that actually exposes a grave weakness in your boyfrien... (read in full...)
Caught my boyfriend on dating sites, after calling me a slut and a stalker he then claims it was a virus!
Q. I have found out my boyfriend has been going on dating sites. When I asked him about it he went mad at me and started calling me a stalker, said I dont trust him because I myself am not to be trusted, called me a slut and then turned it around to ...
A. 9 November 2012: There's something called the Law of Disproportionate Response in play here.
You discovered that he's been on dating sites, and when you questioned him, he calls you names like slut and stalker and threw it back in your face. AFTER his disgusti... (read in full...)
Should I just give her space for a little while?
Q. Just want to make this question as short as possible (although I can just be biting my own tongue on this)Anyway I have reunited with my first girlfriend again after 7 years when we got together everything was cool, but she isn't the type to talk ...
A. 9 November 2012: It's slightly confusing, so I'll recap to see if I understood it correctly. Is this what happened?
After 7 years, you renewed a friendship with a woman who had a past relationship that resulted in a child, right? (interesting that you didn't m... (read in full...)
Do I have a chance of taking him away from his girlfriend?
Q. Me and a guy at my job has been having a secret relationship for about a year during this time the relationship is a secret everyone knows. He has a girlfriend and I had a boyfriend(me and my boyfriend broke up for un-related reasons) now im singlr ...
A. 9 November 2012: This guy is an a**hole! What if YOU were the girlfriend he was cheating on, sleeping with someone else 4 nights per week and wanting a key to her place? GROSS!
You are single now, but you are also a cheater. You can't just go do whatever... (read in full...)
How do you kiss a girl?
Q. There is this girl that I have been going out with for a while and I haven't kissed her yet. It's not that I don't want to kiss her, it's just that I have never kissed a girl before. People say that it just comes to you, but things like this don't ...
A. 8 November 2012: Much of this does come naturally, but there are a few things you can definitely keep in mind before kissing. These should be no-brainers, but you'd be surprised at how many people (guys AND girls) forget the basics!
1. Watch your breath! The gre... (read in full...)
My mother went through and cleaned my room without any warning. I feel violated, my dad says "get over it"!
Q. DearCupid Aunts, I need your opinion on something. I came home the other day to find that my mother had gone through my entire room, and cleaned it out. My drawers, all my laundry, several of my purses/backpacks, and private papers, had been...
A. 8 November 2012: Unfortunately, since your name isn't on the deed to the house or on the lease if it's a rental, even though you feel violated and understandably so, your mom can do whatever she wants, including take all of your stuff out of that room and pitch it ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's mom criticizes my natural/healthy lifestyle. Should I stand my ground? If so, how do I do it respectfully and graciously?
Q. Hello, Please excuse me in advance for the length of this message. I am in a 4 year relationship. I am 24 and my boyfriend is 29. We currently live separately, each with our parents. We plan to move in together as soon as I finish university t...
A. 8 November 2012: This is a common issue, and the way that you DO NOT want to approach this is to "stand your ground" or look at it as a confrontational issue.
First of all, did SHE say this to you directly, or did your boyfriend tell you that she said that? I... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend being lazy or am I just being insensitive?
Q. My boyfriend is 22 years old and still lives at home. He's the founder of a clothing company in which is continuing to grow although it has only been established for a few years. He makes enough money to continuously buy new clothes, sneakers, and ...
A. 5 November 2012: That's just it. Only 22? At what age is an able-bodied, non-student man require that he start making his own way in the world?? He works. He's an adult. He can drink, smoke, vote, sign contracts, and his mom can not claim him as a dependent and ... (read in full...)
I'd like my gay friends as bridesmaids but my boyfriend is against gays
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a while now, almost two years. We've had our fights, but never anything bad, we always make up, we know we love each other very much and would never intentionally try to hurt each other. He wants to get married after ...
A. 5 November 2012: OP,
The issue for me isn't that he tolerates homosexuality or not. The issue is that he sees you as going to hell.
I don't think you realize just what kind of statement that is. Sure, he may not be some whacko activist that crashes funerals... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend being lazy or am I just being insensitive?
Q. My boyfriend is 22 years old and still lives at home. He's the founder of a clothing company in which is continuing to grow although it has only been established for a few years. He makes enough money to continuously buy new clothes, sneakers, and ...
A. 4 November 2012: Here's the thing. If his living arrangements with his mom were goal oriented (i.e. he was living with her to take the money he'd normally use on rent/living costs to expand the business), then he would be living a very austere and borderline ... (read in full...)
I'd like my gay friends as bridesmaids but my boyfriend is against gays
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a while now, almost two years. We've had our fights, but never anything bad, we always make up, we know we love each other very much and would never intentionally try to hurt each other. He wants to get married after ...
A. 4 November 2012: Do you have any idea what kind of life you're about to have with him?? If you're worried that he won't accept your gay friends at your wedding, then wait until after you're married and he'll expect you to submit yourself to him "as unto the ... (read in full...)
I hate being a genius!
Q. I'm a gifted kid, but not what most gifted kids are. I'm different from other gifted kids like as an example. you would have to meet 1000 people to meet someone similar to me. Chances are they also wont be the same age as me too. Anyhow I hat...
A. 4 November 2012: Listen, I get it. I'm not going to put you down for coming off as arrogant, because truthfully, you're coming off to me as being terrified. This whole "genius", "brilliant", "gifted" is a smokescreen along with calling other people who make ... (read in full...)
I'm 24 and have never experienced sexual attraction in my life. Is there any treatment for this or anything I can do?
Q. I'm 24 and have never experienced sexual attraction in my life. I don't even get any enjoyment from hugging or kissing. I'm sure I'm asexual but I don't want to be. It feels like I'm missing out on a huge chunk of life. Quite a few people my age ...
A. 4 November 2012: What you should do fully depends on whether or not you are happy the way you are. It does, in fact, sound like you are asexual, because the very definition is a complete lack of sex drive or attraction to anyone.
If you feel in your heart th... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend being lazy or am I just being insensitive?
Q. My boyfriend is 22 years old and still lives at home. He's the founder of a clothing company in which is continuing to grow although it has only been established for a few years. He makes enough money to continuously buy new clothes, sneakers, and ...
A. 4 November 2012: Actually, he's being a freeloader on you and his parents. He is old enough to support himself, yet he spends on selfish pursuits for himself, short-changing his mom and you.
This is a RED FLAG. This does not change when a guy is this comforta... (read in full...)
Why do I remember our kiss so much? Why can't I forget him?
Q. Three years ago, I confided in someone. I told them I loved them, and while we were young, he had little to say on the matter. But, knowing how I felt about him, I watched him change over a single year. His friends pressured him into going out with...
A. 4 November 2012: There's something I don't get about this story.
1. Why exactly can't you two be together? Aren't you both single and available?
2. If you are both popular, why do you think your looks have anything whatsoever to do with whether or not y... (read in full...)
How do YOU handle an OCD boyfriend?
Q. When I met my boyfriend, he looked just fine to me, until some weeks later that I went to his house and found a Fluoxetine box in his nightstand, which is usually for depressive disorders, but can also be used for anxiety ones, like the one he told ...
A. 3 November 2012: Listen, you can *not* diagnose him. You don't have the doctor/patient relationship. You're too close, too biased, and being his girlfriend is a conflict of interest with being his doctor/therapist.
You have to consider what is healthy for *you... (read in full...)
My 19-year-old daughter who has learning difficulties and autism, is involved with a married man. How do I make her see sense?
Q. I'm concerned about my 19-year-old daughter who has learning difficulties as well as autism. She's in college studying hairdressing. She's got a new boyfriend, who's 25, and I've only recently found out he's been married for 2 weeks - and the man ...
A. 3 November 2012: Does your daughter have a documented medical history of learning disabilities and autism? Is she currently under professional care for these conditions? Do you have an arrangement with any governmental assistance related to her care?? Is she ... (read in full...)
Why can't I get a girl anymore?
Q. Before I was depressed people said I was cute and fun to be around. People would tell me I could get any girl I wanted. When I hit 15 I got acne and got depressed for NO reason. I think hormones screwed me up or something. Now I'm 18 and still no ...
A. 3 November 2012: I'm no therapist or psychologist, but you may, in fact, be dealing with adolescent depression. You should talk to your parents and maybe get some time with a therapist to see how to help you.
Also, you didn't say whether or not you're still in... (read in full...)
I hate being a genius!
Q. I'm a gifted kid, but not what most gifted kids are. I'm different from other gifted kids like as an example. you would have to meet 1000 people to meet someone similar to me. Chances are they also wont be the same age as me too. Anyhow I hat...
A. 3 November 2012: Gifted you may be, but the world of the mediocre and ordinary and failures in life are lined with people who were called "gifted", "talented", or "prodigy".
I tell you this from feelings of compassion and urgency and concern for where your lin... (read in full...)
What do I do about a B/f who is extremely physically abusive?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend four years now and all we do is fight. He get bad temper and beat me up. We have a child together and hit me in front of her. He has pushed me down the stairs slapped and punched me and kicked me on the side while i am ...
A. 3 November 2012: You call the police if he so much as touches you. Then you find your family and friends and any resources your community or government offers to shelter you and your child...like a battered women's shelter to help you get away.
The guy belongs ... (read in full...)
My wife has violent outbursts. Should I get out of the relationship?
Q. My wife and I have been married 5 years and have been trying to make it work for 4. She has put me in some tough positions, I have brought them up and feel no closure on them after the arguments that followed. During my bachelor party I didn't w...
A. 2 November 2012: Let's focus on the violence here first. If the situation was reversed, and it was a husband bashing his wife in the head and slapping all over her (violent guys often hit their wives where they know that bruises won't show), we'd talk about her ... (read in full...)
Met a guy with a huge porn collection and no history of relationships!
Q. I have met a guy a month ago of 37 who sounded good on paper (we met online). He seems like a decent person but is very introvert and has a close relationship with his sister and his mum but has lived alone for 10 years. We have been gradually ...
A. 2 November 2012: I agree with Cerberus. Sounds like a social anxiety disorder situation, though I'm neither a psychiatrist, nor am I qualified to make an official diagnosis.
I'm guessing he's had very little actual sexual experience. It's a question of whether ... (read in full...)
I'm with someone I love but after a few days together I need time alone!
Q. I'm with someone I really love but after we've spent a couple of really intimate days together, I feel like I have to get away and spend time alone. He doesn't understand and wants to spend all the time with me. It ends up causing a lot of arguments ...
A. 2 November 2012: That's normal! When someone spends tons of time with someone, getting away to recharge the battery is healthy! However, don't feel you need to start an argument to get away. That's not healthy.
He's acting clingy and smothering. That's n... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is being sarcastic to control me!
Q. My boyfriend is on the whole very loving and caring. He cooks lovely meals, always tells me I'm gorgeous etc etc and says I'm the love of his life BUT...he's sometimes sarcastic and I HATE it. He thinks he's being funny but it always seems like he's ...
A. 1 November 2012: Have you ever gone over to a friend's house and noticed that their family interacts differently with each other?? Example, let's say that your house is quiet and reserved, yet your friend's house is loud.
Or, let's say that your family was stro... (read in full...)
I can't have sex with my wife because it feels dirty. I cheat instead
Q. this is more of a question to guys. I believe there 2 types of women, 1 a woman who you love sincerely, and the other ones who you attend to sexually. The problem is I'm unable to have a sexual relationship with my wife who I love with all my hear...
A. 1 November 2012: I agree that you need more than we can give you here. You need extended, focused therapeutic time and counseling, because the issue is much deeper than your wife and your sex addiction.
I actually don't think this is a madonna/whore complex,... (read in full...)
Should I let her remarks undermine my trust in him? She claims I was second best, that he chose me because her friend didn't want him.
Q. Hi I found out my boyfriend cheated on me a few years ago Anyways we got back on track solved all the problems in our relationship, and everything was going great. We have a child our own home and I am madly in love with him. My problem is a ...
A. 31 October 2012: The stark truth of the matter was that she was used and discarded by your boyfriend. If what she had said was the truth, he would have left you for her.
A cheaters words are worthless. He may have said all of these sweet things to her while he... (read in full...)
Could my boyfriend be watching porn because he's depressed?
Q. My partner watches porn and says he does it because he feels depressed. So, to the men... Is this just an excuse or could he be telling the truth? Also, how could looking at pictures of naked women help him to feel better without masturbating...
A. 31 October 2012: It's very possible he's depressed and self-medicating through porn. He's telling you the truth. Now, that doesn't mean that he doesn't watch porn when he's NOT depressed. Guys do it just to do it...it's an outlet for excess sexual tension.
... (read in full...)
Once I ejaculate, I tend to never want to see them again. Is this normal???
Q. I'm 17 and I'm always making new friends on Omegle. I'm gay and tend to masturbate with the strangers on there. Once I ejaculate, I tend to never want to see them again. Is this normal? Or is it a psychological reaction? Also, do you think i...
A. 31 October 2012: You're masturbating online with other guys, right?? Omegle tends to cultivate an anonymous atmosphere because there are many like you who like to chat, masturbate, ejaculate, and go.
It's very common, gay and straight, for people to have anonymou... (read in full...)
Is this the sort of person I should date? He lied and now says I'm making a bid deal out of things
Q. I have been going out with my bf for a year. I won't call myself psychic but let us just say I have a very strong 6th sense that is never wrong: normally they come in the form of dreams which will be recurring. (Keep an open mind here please, don't ...
A. 31 October 2012: OH! One more thing,
Can you get ahold of the printouts of his communication of his STD?? You should keep that proof. ... (read in full...)
Is this the sort of person I should date? He lied and now says I'm making a bid deal out of things
Q. I have been going out with my bf for a year. I won't call myself psychic but let us just say I have a very strong 6th sense that is never wrong: normally they come in the form of dreams which will be recurring. (Keep an open mind here please, don't ...
A. 31 October 2012: You are not overreacting at all. This is a pretty serious lie he was covering up for ages. Not only that, but am I understanding you correctly? He has an STD he hid from you? Did he tell you he had it before the two of you became physical (i.e. ... (read in full...)
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