A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need help or someone to talk to... I'm still in love with my ex-boyfriend and I wish I wasn't. We've been broken up for 2 months but he is moving halfway across the country in a month, so we've been spending time with each other, acting like boyfriend and girlfriend, even though we're not. We go out to movies, dinner, etc. He tells me he loves me and even though he doesn't call me, he sends me a text almost everyday just to say hi. The problem is that even though I know we aren't back together and can't get back together, I still get anxious about when or if he will contact me and I feel bad not being able to see him as often as I used to. It's so bad to the point that I will wonder if he is seeing someone else on the side too or if he still wants to spend time with me or not, even when I know he is busy working. The last few days I've been feeling pretty sad and lonely and I think a lot of it has to do with knowing this is ending soon...
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (31 January 2013):
 You write: "...I'm still in love with my ex-boyfriend and I wish I wasn't..." AND, also: "...I do know that he loves me despite everything we've been through...", and, finally: "...It's just that I think I love him more than he was ever or is capable of loving me and that is messing with me...."
So you've offered a complete spectrum of how two people can interact.... but there's really no clear definition of how, or if, the two of you should be - and stay - together.
Much of what you write gives us a plethora of reasons why you and he are NOT compatible... and you even say you "wish (you) weren't in love with him..." The only one who can help you get to a conclusion of this matter is YOU... IF the balance of what is "right" versus what is "not right" with what goes on between the two of you points to your breaking up... then DO SO... Don't make a half-hearted break-up - with continuing contact - then lament that you are stuck in your rut....
Remember,... the opposite of "love" is NOT "hate".... it is "INDIFFERENCE".... IF you really want to break away from this guy... then learn to be INDIFFERENT to him... THEN, get on with your life....
Good luck....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe broke up because I couldn't deal with his porn habits anymore. I think he is addicted. He doesn't or at least would never admit it. We didn't start seeing each other again right away. For the first 2 weeks, we didn't see each other at all and then met up 3 times afterwards before we went another 3 weeks of not talking so we could let each other go. However, the reason we're hanging out now is because he is moving. We had lunch and we both decided to spend time together while he is still here. And yes, without living together like we were and without the title, we pretty much act like a couple... Hold hands, kiss, sex, say i love you, etc. We even have Valentine's Day plans. I do know that he loves me despite everything we've been through. We have a lot of history and we were best friends in our relationship. It's just that I think I love him more than he was ever or is capable of loving me and that is messing with me.
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (31 January 2013):
 Hi
As soon as he is gone then make that an end to it, no more contact,sooner if you can.
At the moment your providing all he needs girlfriend wise so he is just using your availability until he leaves.
I don't know why you broke up,but one of you must have ended it for some reason,except your STILL seeing him so you can't move forward,nothing much has changed,for you.
It has for him though.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (31 January 2013):
 Why did you two break up??
So, you officially broke up, but these past two months, you've still been spending time together and acting like a couple?? I'm guessing that you're both still sleeping together as well??
There's not much you can do until you *really* end it with him. Spending time with him, hanging out with him, you have no chance at moving on as long as...well...you're not.
I say enjoy the last month you have together, and when he moves away, then stop all contact. Because, going No Contact (as in Cold Turkey) is the only way to get him out of your system. Also, sounds like now, he's pretty much using you for sex and companionship until he's gotta go, and he's not in love with you if you're worried he's seeing other people on the side.
Think of it this way -- pining for him and wasting time with him keeps you from being able to find someone else or even move forward in life. That's absolutely plain and simple. So, enjoy the last month and then stop the contact. Don't stay long distance pen pals or keep up texting and calling, or you will still be stuck emotionally.
Seriously though, why did you two break up? Was it just because of this move, or was there a problem with the relationship?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (31 January 2013):
You have two options here: just give it more time, or wear a shock collar and press a button to shock yourself any time you think of him.
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