Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2013): Well I tackled him in a non confrontational way and told him It was definitely inappropriate - what would he think if a man bought me a necklace - he just nodded slightly - what would I think - he was trying to pick me up - etc. He didn't say anything at all apart from say that he did not go shopping as the shop with the sale was right in front of him as he walked through the town, and he asked them for the cheapest necklace they had! Other than that he didn't say anything even when I told him I did not believe his story. Also that as he is away from home his behavior has to be impeccable etc. He did not try to defend his position or reassure me in any way whatsoever. Any thoughts?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2013): That is ridiculous. He laughed because he didn't know what to say in reply. Jewelry is a very special gift that married (or single) men don't randomly give to waitresses. If I were married and my husband did that, I'd probably get something special for a coworker or (distant) male friend he didn't really know. Then I'd leave the receipt somewhere were he would find it. When he asked I would say something similar to what he said to you. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (31 January 2013):
 NOT appropriate..
and probably a lie.
and I agree find a way to end the distance...
My husband is upset that I wear a ring (on my right hand) that was my mothers... his belief is that a woman only wears the jewelery her partner/husband gave her.
He would never give any jewelery to anyone else but me.
and a swarovski necklace is not a piece of cheap junk from the dollar store... THOUGHT was put into this
even if he's not sexually cheating on you it appears he may be emotionally cheating...
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A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (31 January 2013):
 I wouldn't believe him for a second!!! What a cheating bastard. It's funny the things men make up when they are caught red handed.
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (31 January 2013):
 Yea load of pony. Hes seeing here n laughs cos hes shocked he got caught.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (31 January 2013):
You guys need to move. I can't imagine why it makes sense to have this arrangement.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2013): You need to investigate the matter and get to the bottom of it. Giving jewelry to a random person is not appropriate and not heard off. You have the warnings signs so just dont be naive and nor confrontational as we woman can be very emottional. You need to have all the facts before you take him on again.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (31 January 2013):
 If I were you, I'd find a way to end the whole "day apartment" arrangement, because I think he's being disloyal to you big time.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2013): Thank you for all your answers - this is what I am thinking but don't want to be paranoid over it. He works away 4 days - too far to commute - and is home 3 days a week. I went to visit him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2013): Yes, what he did was innapropriate. Jewelry is an intimate gift. A man should not gift a woman other than his wife/family jewelry, and especially not a random waitress.
However, do you have proof that he did indeed give it to a random waitress? It could have been someone else. A woman of interest seems more likely. Look further into it. Ask him and communicate. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2013): You're right, it was inappropriate. Since when is giving another woman jewelry considered charity (regardless of the cost). If he felt sorry for her, I could see him leaving her a better tip, but not going out of his way shopping for a gift.
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (31 January 2013):
There is absolutely no excuse for it.
That doesn't mean he was cheating, but it was definitely inappropriate.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2013): wtf! the slimball is either cheating or is lusting in cloud cuckoo land after some cheap waitress, take control and put him in line!!!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (30 January 2013):
No way. Jewelry is a very intimate gift. He has no business buying random gifts for servers, and if it truly was innocent, he would have informed you of his intent to do it and not waited for you to find it in his weekday apartment.
And yes, why does he have a weekday apartment?
I'd be looking for more evidence of cheating if I were you.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (30 January 2013):
 I think he's lying about who he gave the necklace to. I could be wrong, but that's what I immediately think. I think he bought it for another woman he wants to have sex with or is having sex with and then when you caught him, he came up with the best excuse he could.
What do you mean weekday apartment?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 January 2013):
 I think it's very inappropriate for a married guy to give any one but their wife, mother/MIL or family member jeweler.
And honestly, I think there is more to it then "random" kindness. Specially since MANY women sees jeweler y as part of the wooing/courting phase, not as gifts to random women who serves him food on occasions. A gift card would have been WAY more appropriate, in my honest opinion.
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