A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: Im 14 and in the Past few months I have been masturbating and suddenly feel an attraction towards gays and orgasm more quickly. Yet at the same time I have never had a crush on a boy and have had many over girls and regularly get erections thinking about kissing girls. Also after having an orgasm over a man I feel physically sick. Also often after masturbating i feel completely sure I am gay. then the next day I feel assured I'm straight, I don't know whether I am gay, straight or bi please help
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (25 January 2013):
Many people have questions about their sexuality from time to time, and at age 14, you are still evolving. Not many people fit neatly into some label and stay there for the rest of their lives, so don't sweat it! Right now, at your age, your hormones just flipped the switch, and you're being flooding with new feelings, urges, and so on because of all the puberty chemicals colliding and coursing through your mind and body.
I didn't make this up, but I read about a test for guys confused about their sexuality and confused about being turned on by erotic images. This test is *not* foolproof, but it's a better indicator of your baseline sexuality than how you respond to sexual images.
So here goes:
After you read this, close your eyes. Imagine yourself deep kissing someone. The kiss is so passionate, mouths are open, tongues are dancing seductively. You are so into this kiss, and your hands are exploring the body of the one you're deep kissing on the mouth.
Don't think about this too hard, and don't overthink it, but when you're deep kissing that person, is it a man, or a girl?? Usually, the initial image indicates your stronger sexuality.
Are you deep kissing a man, or a woman when you do this?
A
female
reader, itcantjustbeme +, writes (25 January 2013):
I very much agree with So Very Confused... also sometimes at your age it's about how taboo something is sometimes that gets you excited over the idea. Not saying being gay is taboo, but what I'm saying is anything out of the normal can peak the interest of a developing sexuality. Self sexual exploration is great for your development but at this stage in your life it's more of a swimming lesson. You got to learn how the kitty pool works before you tread the waves of the ocean.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2013): Sorry mate, I've got some terrible news for you. You're totally normal just like the rest of us. Don't worry about the thoughts that pop into your head when you're having your alone time, the whole point of masturbating is to relax and have a little relief.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 January 2013):
well you may be straight or bi. but it's not much to worry about at this point. Teens are supposed to be confused about their sexuality. It's part of maturing.
Being turned on by thinking of gay things does not make you gay. It does not make you bi. It just is thoughts.
BTW if you like your anus stimulated that does not make you gay that makes you normal. Almost every man I've ever known wanted anal stimulation at one time or another. None of them gay or bi. All very straight.
Being turned on by erotic thoughts is not the same as being that orientation.
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