How is it I enjoy having sex with him, but when ever he tries anything else, I can't seem to enjoy it?
Q. The first time my boyfriend tried pleasuring me, it was amazing, and I even had an orgasm. He continued after that point, and we both figured the irritation / discomfort I was feeling as he continued was because of over-stimulation. Ever since, ...
A. 26 March 2013: It's in your mind! Your clitoris is really sensitive after orgasm, but now your mind is trying to avoid that feeling, so now you're snxious about the entire stimulation. Just relax, enjoy the orgasm, and you have the power to remove his fingers ... (read in full...)
Did he scare himself off when he nearly said that he loved me?
Q. I have been dating a guy for 3 months. It has been an incredible journey, we can't get enough of each other and we have both been very open and expressive with our feelings so far, although we have not yet used the L word. This guy seems very ...
A. 26 March 2013: Just give him a little space! Yeah, he nearly said he loved you, and three months may be a little too soon for that. To a guy, the L word is a sign of commitment, a bringing a relationship to the next level. He feels that love, but he wants to be ... (read in full...)
My husband jacks off with other men!
Q. My husband jacks off with other men I just found out he has been doing this for years. I'm shocked to find this out. Even more shocking, are all the sites where married men communicate and set up times to jack off together. He says he will sto...
A. 26 March 2013: I think there's a lot more than meets the eye. Sounds like your husband is gay or bisexual. Either way, he's cheating online. How would he like it if you were webcam stripping for other men?? Cheating is cheating, gay or straight.
I agree wi... (read in full...)
How do I to stop feeling humiliated after being rejected by a friend?
Q. A year ago I had a thing for a friend. Everybody in our big circle of friends knew. People kept pushing us towards each other and a few people thought we were actually dating because we spent a lot of time together. For the longest time I thought he ...
A. 26 March 2013: Truthfully, the "cool people food chain" mentality died in middle school. You feel inferior because you choose to be, not because you are. No one is out of your league, and this whole "hanging out with cooler friends" is only your low self-esteem ... (read in full...)
Do I study something I love or do I study something more pragmatic?
Q. Hey, I have a question. I have been a bar manager for years and right now I am studying by correspondence for two qualifications in management, one of them is a BTS (French qualification equivalent to the first two years of a bachelor's degree) and ...
A. 26 March 2013: Though many people will suggest that you choose what you love, I'm not so quick to simply say that to you and be done with it. Here's why:
School is a means to an end. You are in college to learn, but what you are planning to do when you get ... (read in full...)
Will you let go of your cat you love if your mate has a terrifying phobia?
Q. I am interested in pursuing a relationship with a good friend of mine. We were once in a romantic relationship that ended because of the distance but now we realize we can't do without each other. He is planning to move down here with me so we ca...
A. 24 March 2013: Ugh. Don't pursue the relationship and keep the cat! The guy sounds like a raving nutball. I understand if a guy had an allergy or had been mauled when he was 2 and was terrified of them, but "his spirit and the cat spirit" stuff and the whole ... (read in full...)
I want to end this affair with a married man feeling strong and independent. How do I do this?
Q. Basically I have been having an affair with a married man for almost a year now, Despite being pretty attached by now i've finally found the strength to accept that things are never going to happen with us and want to re-gain my self-respect and end ...
A. 23 March 2013: You simply end it without caring what he thinks, without playing games, without contact, as if he's dead to you. Otherwise, it seems too much like game playing to try and get him jealous or to leave his wife or whatever.
You simply walk away, ne... (read in full...)
What should I do about my fiance lying about porn?
Q. when me and my boyfriend started dated we made it very clear what we expect from each other. Together we made the commitment to be a christian couple and live that kind of life. I just had a baby with him and he asked me to marry him, i said yes, ...
A. 23 March 2013: Heh, yeah, a couple living a Christian way of life wait to have sex until marriage. You can't pick and choose if you're calling your life Christian. That being said, porn has nothing to do with cheating. You have a right not to like it, and he ... (read in full...)
I cheated with a married family friend and now feel crushed that he has ended things
Q. I made the bad decision to cheat on my husband but I don't know what makes me feel worse... The fact that I cheated or that the other guy broke it off because he doesn't want to hurt his wife. We are all very close and have been friends for years. ...
A. 23 March 2013: Judgment and mercy should be married to each other. There should be no judgment for which the person being judged is pounded into oblivion with no hope, no name, and nothing but contempt. Likewise, there should be no mercy without truth, meaning ... (read in full...)
I can't accept that my husband was in prison for a sex crime but the families all give me a hard time!
Q. I've been married 20 years, my husband has been a troubled person for the majority of those years, we now have 2 adult children. 6 years ago my husband was sentenced to 6 years in jail shortly after his conviction, I learned that he was doing time ...
A. 21 March 2013: Why do people claim to be religious, yet I bet 95% of them have never cracked a bible in their lives?!
Rape/sexual assault/adultery is definitely grounds for divorce. You are under zero obligation to spend one more second with the guy. The trut... (read in full...)
I am very hurt and angry that my husband is looking at porn. Why does everyone think porn is ok?
Q. I have been married for 4 months and moved across the country leaving my family and everything behind to be with my husband. I have no one out here but him and his family. I miss my family so much and cry quite a bit. My mother was molested b...
A. 21 March 2013: You have a lot bigger issues than whether or not society should accept porn watching by its men, married or otherwise.
Quite frankly, you've gotta get help for yourself. Being depressed, crying constantly, being controlled by not being able to ... (read in full...)
She worshipped me and I treated her like dirt. I want to contact her. Should I try to do that?
Q. Some time ago I met a girl on a dating site and ended up hurting real bad and now she hates me. I can't very much blame her because she was always sincere with me and went out of her way to show a concern for me and interest in me. I was the exac...
A. 21 March 2013: I think you should forget about her. You hurt her, basically made her suffer because you were cheating on your husband, sleeping with a male boss, mentally abused her for 2 years. Anyone in the world would tell her that to take you back would be ... (read in full...)
"The one"???
Q. How do you know if someone is "the One"? Just generally....
A. 21 March 2013: I'm with Cerberus. I don't believe in stuff like "the one", and I've never liked the term "soulmate" either. However, it's not exclusively a term used by women. There are many guys who say stuff like that as well if the sappy love songs written ... (read in full...)
I cheated with a married family friend and now feel crushed that he has ended things
Q. I made the bad decision to cheat on my husband but I don't know what makes me feel worse... The fact that I cheated or that the other guy broke it off because he doesn't want to hurt his wife. We are all very close and have been friends for years. ...
A. 21 March 2013: It only takes once! It's still hanging in the air! You may have cheated once, but you're lying every single day now. Your marriage is a lie. Your vows broken.
I want to address the poster who said "it's no one's place to judge you". Actually... (read in full...)
I'd like a strictly FWB situation, he say's he doesn't want to hurt me. He said he wants to have sex, but doesn't want to hurt me. What does he want?
Q. I started talking to this boy I like who is in one of my university classes. I want to be FWB for now as we are both about to start a new program that is going to last almost two years and will be very busy for a real relationship. I'd love to be ...
A. 21 March 2013: You said:
"I'd love to be something more in the future..."
Stop right there. You cannot do an FWB with this guy if you want this. You will be really hurt, and the guy you want an FWB with knows it, which is why he said that to you. He does... (read in full...)
I found out I am his mistress and cannot let him go?
Q. Hi all, I am a newly divorced lady and I'm in a relationship with a man who is 8 years younger than me. Its a fairly new relationshi (3 months) and when I got involved with the man,he gave me the impression that his relationship with the baby ma...
A. 20 March 2013: "He categorically stated that his marriage has nothing to do with our relation(ship)" And when he gets caught, he'll tell his wife that you mean nothing to him, that it was just sex and that it has nothing to do with the marriage. He'... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my mother's anxiety about money, she'll essentially throw away money yet say spending it on my education is a problem, help!
Q. This isn't a relationship question, but I hope someone on here can give me some advice. My mom works like 24/7, no joke. She's always put work ahead of everything else in life. When she'd come home she'd spend hours paying bills, and saying how expe...
A. 20 March 2013: Yeah, get a student loan, go to college, and take control over your own life. You are an adult and your mom has the right to make paper airplanes out of her money if she chooses to. She had an obligation to support you until you turned 18. After ... (read in full...)
Is he playing with my emotions?
Q. I met this guy from a friend of mine a year ago, and I started developing feeling for him. He initiated the first meeting, and took me to the "City" and everything was fine for a couple of dates. One day he started being really obnoxious, telling ...
A. 20 March 2013: The guy's batshit insane! What a crazy wingnut. Different culture? Uhh, the culture of control and insanity and insecurity?
You're wasting your time with that moron. Don't stay friends, because he isn't your friend. Friends and lovers d... (read in full...)
I cheated with a married family friend and now feel crushed that he has ended things
Q. I made the bad decision to cheat on my husband but I don't know what makes me feel worse... The fact that I cheated or that the other guy broke it off because he doesn't want to hurt his wife. We are all very close and have been friends for years. ...
A. 20 March 2013: So what, exactly, do you want from us?? What, exactly, is the question?? Which is worse, rejection, or betrayal?? It would make you feel worse to betray your husband and to be an accessory to betraying the man's wife by alienating her husband's ... (read in full...)
I am 3 months pregnant but my boyfriend pulled that "I am scared" crap. What's the next step?
Q. I am confused wether I am being lied to or not by the guy Ive been seeing for 6 mnths and am now 3 mnths pregnant too. When i told him i was pregnant he was happy but we had an argument after being in each others company for too long as we have both ...
A. 19 March 2013: You should make the decision to have a baby or terminate the pregnancy separate from any threats or reaction from him. That is your decision, and you need to do what you feel is right. Don't threaten termination simply to get a reaction out of ... (read in full...)
I need to protect my child from the stranger that is her father. Advice?
Q. Had a one night stand with complete stranger five years ago. That night resulted in a baby. I informed the guy i was pregnant but he cut all contact with me. Now i knew his name, address, where he worked and stuff about his life because there was a ...
A. 19 March 2013: Anon female reader, you're missing the biggest component in this whole thing. Protection isn't the issue here. If the guy was a "perv", you think his response would be to cut contact and not be a father? You'd think that the guy would want to ... (read in full...)
Bad grades, ends relationship, and now I want her back
Q. Dear Cupid, So here's my story, My ex broke up with me last year. Our relationship only lasted for almost 1 month. The reason is that because our "relationship" is too distracting. She hardly focus on her studies and that she had many failing gra...
A. 18 March 2013: Your post here is definitely one of those "read between the lines" posts, where it's better for me to respond to the feel of what you said more than just the words and the events.
Listen -- no girl who truly is in wild crazy love to a guy will eve... (read in full...)
Spends his money on gifts for himself before my Birthday and then he is broke
Q. I know it is wrong to have expectations of one's spouse. I am a big believer in the philosophy that our expectations determine our own happiness. I am trying to work on myself when it comes to this concept and even my therapist agrees with me that ...
A. 18 March 2013: Yeah, let's cut the therapy speak for a second and talk plainly! There *is* no HIS money. Legally, everything, right down to his and your 401(k) is community property.
So, are you talking about a mutual spending allowance, or are you thinking... (read in full...)
Why does he lie to me? How can I marry this man in two months?
Q. I really need help. Its no secret to my fiance that I don't trust him. I have talked to him about being honest and earning my trust back. But he continues to lie to my fsce. I give him every chance to be honest. Why does he lie to me? How can I ...
A. 18 March 2013: If you marry this guy, you might as well officially open the marriage and be okay with his sleeping around. This guy just recently cheated on you. This wasn't a "in the past thing". It takes more than a couple of week's worth of talking and a ... (read in full...)
I need to protect my child from the stranger that is her father. Advice?
Q. Had a one night stand with complete stranger five years ago. That night resulted in a baby. I informed the guy i was pregnant but he cut all contact with me. Now i knew his name, address, where he worked and stuff about his life because there was a ...
A. 18 March 2013: Listen, I know what you're going through, and I'm not without sympathy. In everyone's life, there's one or two things that make us human, that give us emotional scars. I want to appeal to your humanity with what I say, so I will be as kind as I ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is a 38 year old virgin and won't finger me or go down on me
Q. My boyfriend is 38 and a virgin. I'm 35 and we've been dating for almost three years. I've been married once before and have 2 children. I don't expect my boyfriend to have sex with me but he won't finger me or go down on me. I pleasure him in ...
A. 17 March 2013: You giving him an orgasm *is* sex. He *is* selfish.
Don't touch him again until he can reciprocate. If he doesn't believe in premarital sex, why hasn't he married you yet? Many religions who preach against premarital sex often see quick ma... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to rent the living room at a female friend's and I don't trust her.
Q. My boyfriend and I have almost been together 3 years. We've had our ups and downs numerous times but we love each other very much. I will do anything to be with him for the rest of my life. But now, we have yet another problem that I'm having an ...
A. 17 March 2013: I'm with CindyCares on this one. It is probably emasculating that he has to be supported by your parents because of money problems. That's probably why, as llifton said, the guy isn't just borrowing the car rather than borrow the car and the ... (read in full...)
Things were getting serious -- until her ex FWB introduced himself
Q. Dear Cupid I have been dating a great women for three years and we are making plans to buy a house move in with each other and open joint savings and cheque accounts. We have been open with each other and neither of us have any skeletons in our ...
A. 16 March 2013: You got so mad that you assaulted someone and got thrown in jail because of a past love life?? What was the point of it? Why do you care about this past guy with old pictures? He was obviously getting his ego off by riling you up, meaning your ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend thought I only moved in with him to feel safe so he ended things
Q. Hi everyone sorry if this is long i moved in with my boyfriend who i really loved after i almost got attacked in my home i found out i was pregnant but miscarried at 8 weeks then 4 days later my boyfriend split up with me what should i do? He thinks ...
A. 16 March 2013: He said that?? Many guys who were in love would WANT to protect their girlfriends, and that would never be an issue of contention.
What was the argument about? Was it about the attack, or was it about something else, and he simply started ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend about my mother judging him based on his Facebook posts?
Q. Hi there I am really heartbroken by my mothers comments. I have been with a lovely guy now for the last 5 months he is four years younger than me. My mother does not approve of this but I am 31 it's not like we are teenagers. She has not even ...
A. 16 March 2013: Abella gives very good advice here. I offer some as well as a possible alternative. Which way you go is really whatever is a best fit for your situation, so you may well combine approaches and tailor your own.
Seems like no matter what age, a s... (read in full...)
He deleted my mom from his Facebook friends and she wants us to break up because of that and some other stuff!
Q. I started dating this guy a month ago everything was going great, we had a few problems but we got through them. My mom added him on Facebook and things was good until she started commenting on almost all his status's asking what they meant, who ...
A. 15 March 2013: I don't often disagree with CindyCares, but I do this time, at least in part.
Dating for one month doesn't make you exclusive with the guy, and I would be doing you a disservice if I didn't point out that ultimately, you chokeholded this relation... (read in full...)
What will happen next?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for about two and half month now. Earlier this week we have found out she is pregnant. We have become really close and are happy with it. Two days ago we had a bad argument which resulted in me taking her home but neit...
A. 15 March 2013: Let me grab your brain for a second.
The child. The baby. Your son or daughter.
All the other stuff is immature stupid high school crap. You're about to be a father, yet your mind is on "revenge contact" with an ex? Really??? You'r... (read in full...)
How to get over a cat which had to be put down?
Q. My cat died two days ago. I can't stop crying. How do i get through this?. My cat was 16 years old. I had her since she was two months old. She started becoming ill last week ( it may have even been longer than that, but that is when it got worse ) ...
A. 13 March 2013: Aww I'm so sorry. You lost a family member and a friend in your cat. You're not meant to get over it now. You're okay to grieve! Don't beat yourself up about not being in the room with her, because you did say goodbye to her, and she knew how ... (read in full...)
I cheated, got back together with boyfriend. Does he need to know if I had used condoms?
Q. I recently got back together with my ex-boyfriend. We both realized that we loved each other and after trying to date other people we decided to give it another shot. The first time we broke up was because I had cheated on him, so he has been trying ...
A. 13 March 2013: I don't see how that's anything that will help him. You have HPV, so what more needs to be said? Even if you did wear condoms, there's a chance of passing the virus. Abstinence is the only 100% way to avoid it. Before your test, you didn't ... (read in full...)
He let my family and I believe for 3 years that his parents were dead!
Q. I'm not at all sure what to think about this, and would like some opinions. Here it goes: I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. He's been studying hard and is aiming for his masters, I support him fully and I know he does the same for me. We ...
A. 13 March 2013: It sounds like he never outright lied and said "my parents are dead", right? He merely changed the subject and didn't talk about them. I have a different view on this situation. You mentioned one of the reasons he never talked about them were ... (read in full...)
Are his jokes showing that he doesn't want me in the future?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 7 months..we are in our late twenties and still living with parents due to us trying to save individually for the future..he is looking to purchase a house within the next few years. It is by far t...
A. 12 March 2013: It could be many possibilities. My guess is that this is his way of getting you to back off of serious/future plans. He might be fighting against his own feelings, or he might be feeling pressure from you, or he may indeed be not set on a future ... (read in full...)
I followed my husband and caught him at a brothel. He says he wanted to be caught??
Q. We have had huge financial issues, loss of business, things really stressful. all this definitely took a toll on our lives. Today I did something either brave or some would say stupid. When our business was going down there were allig...
A. 11 March 2013: You said this:
"We have had huge financial issues, loss of business, things really stressful. all this definitely took a toll on our lives."
Brothels and prostitutes are very expensive. If he's doing it for 5 years, I bet anything it was ... (read in full...)
After being together for years I find out something about my wife that has shaken my trust in her to the core! I don't know how to deal with this
Q. 13 years ago, I met a wonderful woman in University who has now been my wife for 8 years. We have kids (with another on the way) and are happy however recently, during a discussion she elaborated on a story of how she hooked with one of her past ...
A. 11 March 2013: I agree in the spirit of principle with the other aunts, but it's not that easy. I understand how you feel.
Though you two weren't exclusive when it happened, I'd be heartbroken to find out that something like that happened. You found out that... (read in full...)
I want to break up with him. How can I manage this situation when he's threatened to harm himself if I break up with him?
Q. so there is this guy that i dated for a few months and i honestly cant seem to get over my ex (before him) , the new guy doesnt realize i no longer wanna be with him i told him over and over again but he thinks im just messing around he doesnt ...
A. 11 March 2013: This one is very much easier than you think.
There are only two possibilities:
1. He's bluffing and he's saying this to manipulate you
and
2. He's not bluffing and he's in a very bad mental place.
Your response to him takes care of bo... (read in full...)
My grandma invited him and he didn't show up. Now he's angry that she didn't invite him this time. He got sarcastic. Does he even have the right to be mad?.
Q. Yesterday I casually told my boyfriend that today I was going to lunch at my grandma's place. He asked me why, so I told him she was going to cook one of my favorite dishes, so she had invited me. His answer: "Well, thank your grandma for th...
A. 10 March 2013: We're missing the all-important question here:
He didn't show up, right?
Did he call your grandma and apologize for missing the invitation, offer an explanation for his not showing up, and thank her for inviting him?
I'm guessing that he ... (read in full...)
He and I are quite close. Do you think he's telling me he's leaving his wife?
Q. Married man at work rang my mobile whilst I was at work an he at home; I didn't know he had my number, He was very drunk and told me he needed to hear my voice and he missed me then told me he needed to tell me something. So I asked what? He sai...
A. 10 March 2013: Normally, most guys are straightforward in what they say, but the words of a married man are a different thing entirely.
This guy wants you into bed with him. He'll *say* bad things about his wife. He'll talk about plans to leave her. He'll te... (read in full...)
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