14 and confused about my sexuality
Q. Im 14 and in the Past few months I have been masturbating and suddenly feel an attraction towards gays and orgasm more quickly. Yet at the same time I have never had a crush on a boy and have had many over girls and regularly get erections thinking ...
A. 25 January 2013: Many people have questions about their sexuality from time to time, and at age 14, you are still evolving. Not many people fit neatly into some label and stay there for the rest of their lives, so don't sweat it! Right now, at your age, your ... (read in full...)
I met one of my students at a bar and now I can't talk to her
Q. Hi i'm 24 years old and just got a job as a history teacher. Over the summer, I met this amazing girl. I met her in a bar so I just assumed that she was over 21 so I never bothered to ask for her age. She's beautiful, smart, funny. The most gorgeous ...
A. 25 January 2013: I think if you've made it from September to February, I think you can make it until May when she's done with your class. If she talks to you about it, tell her you didn't know she was a student, that you made a mistake, and that it's best for both ... (read in full...)
Who could care and have feelings for 3 year affair?
Q. Is it easy for a man to have a 3yr sex fling with a woman and care nothing for her? My husband has been sleeping with this hoe for 3yrs.I know its only sex. She now has feelings for him but he cares nothing for her. She can't get that through her ...
A. 25 January 2013: Do you have an open relationship? Have you given your husband permission to engage in extramarital sex??
If you have, then it's entirely possible that he's simply using her as a breathing sex toy that in the end means nothing to him. It's als... (read in full...)
My girlfriend overheard her parents conversation and found out she was not wanted and now she's freaked out and its ruining our relationship!
Q. my girlfriend and I are having a serious crisis!!! We've been going out for over 2 years now and for the most part it's been great. of course we have our little moments but we always have seen it through together. Well now she just found someth...
A. 25 January 2013: I think there will be many people who might disagree with what I'm about to say, but I feel pretty strongly about it.
Your girlfriend's life and emotional well-being is deteriorating. You said it yourself -- that you think she's already so damag... (read in full...)
Boyfriends sex drive has dwindled, but then I found out he's been watching porn. Should I be worried?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together almost 2 years but we don't live together. When we first got together, our sex life was amazing and we were having sex every day, which naturally has dwindled over time... however recently, it has become roughly ...
A. 24 January 2013: I wouldn't be surprised if he was watching porn throughout your entire relationship, but I'm sure that in this case, the long work hours are indeed tiring him out.
In his case, he may be rubbing one off because sex takes more exertion, time, an... (read in full...)
Is a man wearing a women's swimsuit really a 'sexual offense' especially as the man did it drunk at a party?
Q. I have recently found out my 24-year-old daughter is dating a convicted sex offender, she had inadvertently mentioned it when talking about her new boyfriend (he's 32). I feel sick and disgusted but at the sametime am powerless to stop her. She...
A. 24 January 2013: SVC is right. Records are public, and you should research them. Convicted sex offenders don't simply wear bathing suits.
Though, if what he said was true, it's possible that he could have worn a string bikini and was "hanging" out, meaning ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend overheard her parents conversation and found out she was not wanted and now she's freaked out and its ruining our relationship!
Q. my girlfriend and I are having a serious crisis!!! We've been going out for over 2 years now and for the most part it's been great. of course we have our little moments but we always have seen it through together. Well now she just found someth...
A. 24 January 2013: I'm going to say some tough things here, but being touchy feely about it won't do a bit of good in her case.
She needs to confront her parents about what she heard, and it's simple utter fear that keeps her from doing it. The problem with lis... (read in full...)
My fiance admitted that he was sexually assaulted as a child. He has been with a man twice. Can I trust him?
Q. i have been dating a man for 9 months now and became engaged a month ago, i found out he has been with a man once or twice and was currently talking sex stuff to multiple people women and men. i adressed him with this and he said he has stopped. i ...
A. 24 January 2013: I want to make one thing clear. You, OP, are *not* his therapist. You are not responsible for how he deals with his self-image. You do not have to excuse his actions during his quest for self-healing. It's not your job, and it's too much ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has no endurance to be on top during sex
Q. My boyfriend can't be on top during sex. He's about 220 lbs and he's around 6 feet tall, so he's a little overweight but not obese or anything, anyways he gets tired really easily and can't last on top at all. Like 5 to 10 minutes and he either has ...
A. 24 January 2013: Abella asked the question I wanted to ask. You didn't mention whether or not he was a smoker.
Regardless, he lacks cardiovascular fitness, which can even impact thin guys. A lot of men try and hide it by insisting on woman-on-top sex only whe... (read in full...)
Do these questions sound ok to ask a musician?
Q. I want to write to two musicians who are members of the same band. Do these questions sound ok ? I want to ask both of them if they have favourite songs by the previous bands that the drummer was in ( he's one of the members that i am writing to ), ...
A. 24 January 2013: I am a musician who has been in bands in my youth. The only question I would suggest holding off on is "i want to ask why one of the drummers previous bands split up "...it's possible the split was acrimonious, and just like you wouldn't ask a ... (read in full...)
Husband went to a massage parlour but said there was no sexual activity. I can't believe him and I'm a wreck.
Q. Here it goes. I have two children. One that is 2 and one that is 2 months. I just found out 3 weeks ago that my Husband went to three massage parlors through the past year. The first time he went was a month before I got pregnant. I confront...
A. 24 January 2013: Oh my... this guy, unknowingly, just totally gave himself away. He said he went three times and was asked TWICE?? No *way* that would ever happen at a reputable parlor to a new or infrequent customer. A licensed massage therapist can get into ... (read in full...)
Husband went to a massage parlour but said there was no sexual activity. I can't believe him and I'm a wreck.
Q. Here it goes. I have two children. One that is 2 and one that is 2 months. I just found out 3 weeks ago that my Husband went to three massage parlors through the past year. The first time he went was a month before I got pregnant. I confront...
A. 23 January 2013: This one's a tough one. However, if I were a betting person, I'd say he's easily getting a "happy ending" to every massage he's going there for. I doubt he's having sex with them, but many times if someone is a regular customer who tips well, the ... (read in full...)
My fiance admitted that he was sexually assaulted as a child. He has been with a man twice. Can I trust him?
Q. i have been dating a man for 9 months now and became engaged a month ago, i found out he has been with a man once or twice and was currently talking sex stuff to multiple people women and men. i adressed him with this and he said he has stopped. i ...
A. 23 January 2013: I think you should call off the engagement with him. His promise that he's "stopped" and his crying in front of you isn't enough to restore your trust, because let's say we do believe that his past trauma caused him to cheat repeatedly on you, he ... (read in full...)
Did I mean nothing to him the whole 7 months we were dating? He broke up with me because of his ex
Q. 5 weeks ago my boyfriend dumped me because he said he still has feelings for his ex girlfriend that he was with for 3.5 years. They broke up about 1 year ago. He was really honest about it, he cried too and said it will be hard for him letting me ...
A. 23 January 2013: I don't think you were just another girl he used for sex. I think his ex probably got nostalgic and contacted him and he realized he wasn't over her. I think he made the stupidest mistake of his life, but some people can't let things go.
I'm s... (read in full...)
I lightly slapped my ex once. Why did I do that?? I want to know!
Q. I love my exgrlfriend more than ever now.I have never been an abusive man ever in my life,I lightly slapped her before we broke up,only cause i have her father telling me to get out of her life,jobs are few and far to find,and she listens to her ...
A. 22 January 2013: You put your hands on her. That *is* abusive. Your reasons frankly are so ridiculous that I fear for your ability to have a healthy relationship with anyone in the future if you don't realize that YOU are the only one to blame for putting your ... (read in full...)
I think I am falling for him but I know he doesn't want a relationship, what should I do?
Q. In September I lost my virginity to a friend of a friend who'd recently broken up with a girlfriend. Since then we've slept together a few more times. My friend has informed me that he's 'enjoying being single' and doesn't want a serious ...
A. 21 January 2013: Yes, you have a bunch of "virginity loss bond hormone chemicals" coursing through your body and brain now that are turning you from an intelligent logical person into a dribbling mess ready and willing to be used and used and then discarded like ... (read in full...)
An affair that I never wanted to begin ended badly. I am shocked to the core at how he could do this to me!
Q. I understand that I will be judged for what I am about to ask, but please understand that nothing that can be said is comparable to the guilt and pain I am putting myself through. I had a male friend for about 2 years with whom I went to school. ...
A. 21 January 2013: I'm guessing his wife caught him and all hell broke loose, and the words he said to her over and over were "it didn't mean anything to me" or "It was just sex" or "I don't know what I was thinking".
You don't sleep with someone and then dump the... (read in full...)
An affair that I never wanted to begin ended badly. I am shocked to the core at how he could do this to me!
Q. I understand that I will be judged for what I am about to ask, but please understand that nothing that can be said is comparable to the guilt and pain I am putting myself through. I had a male friend for about 2 years with whom I went to school. ...
A. 21 January 2013: This happens terribly often in affairs. Remember, while he was with you, he had to concoct a ton of lies to tell his wife in order to be with you. Never be surprised that anyone who can live a lie with their spouse could also lie to you, and ... (read in full...)
How do I live the rest of my life married to someone I don't love and I can't marry again?
Q. Dear Cupid I am 30+ years old Indian (Asian) women with a great career. Married but not living with my husband (no kids, he is impotent), it was arranged marriage we never got along well. Trying for divorce, but my husband wants to give this ano...
A. 20 January 2013: I was going to say...you live here in the United States, right? There's no legal reason you can't remarry.
However, it sounds like you would be disowned by your traditional Indian (Asian) family by going against the normal protocol and family o... (read in full...)
Marriage has broken down. He won't talk about it, won't try to fix it but hasn't moved out of the house. The pain is overwhelming.
Q. I have been married for 10 yrs, a stay at home mom for 8yrs. Two months ago my husband told me he doesn't feel anything for me anymore and doesn't want to be with me. We still live together, I still cook and clean up after him. We still share th...
A. 20 January 2013: NO!!!!! Make *him* move out! You have the kids, and you moving out will put him in a favorable legal position to take the house from you AND get custody of your kids!
He is the initiator of the split. He needs to move. STAND your ground o... (read in full...)
I'm 18 and I want to move out & stop being grounded/have my possessions taken from me!
Q. Im 18 and I continually get my electronics taken away from me that I paid for and am continually grounded. I have a bedtime of 10 on school nights, and it varies on weekends. I have some money put away for savings and Im in school right now...
A. 19 January 2013: Yes, what are your medical issues? I understand taking medications, but are they receiving money from the government for your care? Are you a medical dependent of theirs?
I agree with CaringGuy. If they are talking about being in trouble ... (read in full...)
Help, I've pushed my husband away and don't know what to do!!
Q. I met my husband on a christian dating site. We hit it off right away and a year later got married. It was our second marriage for both of us. I Think he was more realistic when he married me, knowing that there may be some unresolved issues that ...
A. 19 January 2013: There are three really powerful words that can transform a marriage. It changes how people see each other, and helps to stop avoiding and to start working together:
It Takes Two.
This means that it's not just your fault this marriage is wher... (read in full...)
If I confront my husband, who cheated in the past, with these texts, he'll take issue with my snooping. What do I do?
Q. About 3 years ago I found out that my husband had been joining dating sites, and chatting and cheating on me with other women he had met on these sites. This had been going on behind my back for 5 years. I realise how good he is at keeping secrets ...
A. 17 January 2013: Here's the thing:
When a guy has already been caught cheating in the past, he's disqualified from taking issue with snooping, and if he tries, you take issue with his not telling you about the text, because the number one crucial ingredie... (read in full...)
Marriage has broken down. He won't talk about it, won't try to fix it but hasn't moved out of the house. The pain is overwhelming.
Q. I have been married for 10 yrs, a stay at home mom for 8yrs. Two months ago my husband told me he doesn't feel anything for me anymore and doesn't want to be with me. We still live together, I still cook and clean up after him. We still share th...
A. 17 January 2013: Yep. Your talking is OVER. Get a LAWYER and file and serve him. Your home is already broken, and your kids feel it a lot more now than they will when he gets out of your house.
He is using you now for financial security, for domestic care, an... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is too clingy. What can I do?
Q. What would you do if your significant other always clings on to you and wants to always touch you when you're in public places? It's slightly annoying but if I say anything he'd get upset. ...
A. 17 January 2013: Ooh, the other aunts have great points. I thought of something else too.
90% of the time, the overclinginess in public is due to extreme insecurity, and the other 10% of the time is ego, showing you off like someone shows off their Corvette... (read in full...)
What do most people consider as porn? Would looking at nude pics classify as watching porn?
Q. My ex and I were constantly getting in fights about him watching porn. In the end it wasn't so much that he was watching porn that bothered me but the fact that he disrespected how I felt about it and wouldn't stop. But before that, for a long time ...
A. 17 January 2013: BWAHAHAHAAAAA!
That is absolutely hysterical! I almost spit my water onto my monitor! This guy must be frightfully young if he tried the whole "looking at nude pics is not porn" thing on you. I guess Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler, and a massive ... (read in full...)
Why do I keep putting all my anger over things on my ex?
Q. Hi. Just to set the story, I have been in a very happy relationship for 2 years, I am settled and live with my partner. My relationship with my ex was mentally abusive, and ended 3 years ago, he put me down and made me feel like nothing, he wa...
A. 16 January 2013: Again I'll say this: Did you give him access to your money? That is a choice, you know. If he stole from you and charged things without your knowledge, you could have had him arrested and thrown in jail for theft. That's another choice.
Of co... (read in full...)
Why do I keep putting all my anger over things on my ex?
Q. Hi. Just to set the story, I have been in a very happy relationship for 2 years, I am settled and live with my partner. My relationship with my ex was mentally abusive, and ended 3 years ago, he put me down and made me feel like nothing, he wa...
A. 16 January 2013: I can answer your question for you. You haven't accepted your choices in life, and instead of learning lessons many of us have learned, you're choosing to blame someone else and be a victim. Yes, your boyfriend cheated on you, but who ran up the ... (read in full...)
My GF doesn't want to lose her virginity until we're married, but that won't be for 10 years! What can we do?
Q. I have been together with my girlfriend for nearly a year. We both never had sex, we only experimented with foreplay etc.(Basically everything but just the most vital part, sex) She told me she will only be willing to do that once we get m...
A. 12 January 2013: Why does it have to be 10 years? Is there a law against being married before the age of 28-31 years old? Who put the 10 year limit in place?? That seems pretty absurd unless you two have a medical degree to attain.
If it was her that did, the... (read in full...)
My Bf will be so hurt. I cheated over Christmas with a work colleague. What should I do now?
Q. Need some advice,I understand if you judge me, I hate myself for it..... Me and my boyfriend of 2 years went through a miserable period over Christmas, felt really down about it. I had my works Christmas party where I found myself really drunk, ...
A. 12 January 2013: You are screwed, OP. If there's one thing that I have absolutely seen for a certainty, it's that your boyfriend *will* find out. The guy you slept with has a girlfriend who's also going to find out, plus there are co-workers with consciences who ... (read in full...)
I feel like I need closure or something since our break up was so out of the blue.
Q. I broke up with a serious boyfriend about a month ago. I found out he had been lying and doing drugs. It happened so abruptly. There were some concerns, but overall I was happy and didn't see it coming. It was a mutual breakup once I found out who ...
A. 12 January 2013: I agree with Cindy on this one. You don't need closure. Stop pining for him, because now, that's masochistic. You take this time and mourn the end of the relationship, but you let him go and move on. You did the right thing by breaking up, ... (read in full...)
Truly, should I forgive her? She claims she still loves me despite all her actions?
Q. I've been in a relationship with my fiancee for 5 yrs. She moved into my apartment 2 years ago. l love her deeply and she means the world to me but am beginning to wonder if my love is not being reciprocated. August 2011,she asked some boy out on ...
A. 12 January 2013: Not a lot of people want to admit this, but simply put, some relationships have an expiration date. Yours happens to be one of them. That's the danger of indefinite engagements to be honest.
Your girlfriend is a low down dirty cheater who is n... (read in full...)
Should people accept me as I am? Or should I change my ways and start letting people in?
Q. I'm a very private person and rarely tell people the things that go on in my life. I've been called cold and even fake. I don't feel comfortable talking to people, but I also don't want them to think i am a cold person. Should i change my wa...
A. 12 January 2013: I have always lived by the creed: If you want to be someone who has friends, you must first be friendly.
Yes, you should be yourself, but if you want people to like you, you should be kind, open, interested in them. With some people, that com... (read in full...)
Am I unreasonable to dislike the fact that my B/f' 5 year old son crawls into bed with us every morning, then fidgets, talks, crawls all over us?
Q. A brief question to all you helpful people... I'm in a great new(er) relationship that is fairly serious, and I have just moved in with my boyfriend, although I've been unofficially living with him for three months. My lease just expired, my thin...
A. 10 January 2013: Your mom failed you if she allowed stepdad to kick you out of the bed. That was wrong, and you have a chance to rectify that by being better than your upbringing. That kid loves you.
I can give you a tip to calm him down if he's being overly r... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has female friend that he is entirely too close to
Q. So ill be honest, its a bit messed up, My boyfriend has a friend hes entirely too close to, She calls and texts him constantly, he makes plans to go places we didnt intend on because she gave him the invite. At first she wasnt a problem, then the ...
A. 10 January 2013: Your boyfriend is a weenie who likes the attention she gave him. It's a *huge" shot to the ego to have two women fight over him. The truth is, if he knew that she had this thing for him, he should have backed away from her. ANY TIME feelings get ... (read in full...)
How could he go from telling me he loved me to nothing?
Q. I am in my 3rd year of college and just broke up with my 2nd serious boyfriend. We met thru friends and felt like we'd known each other forever. We went on dates for only 8 days and decided to make it official. I had heard alot about him through ...
A. 10 January 2013: You may not feel this way right now, but you dodged a massive bullet with this guy. A drug user, skipping school, playing fast and loose with the truth. You're not in high school anymore, so going for the "bad boy" when you're a churchgoer is ... (read in full...)
Am I unreasonable to dislike the fact that my B/f' 5 year old son crawls into bed with us every morning, then fidgets, talks, crawls all over us?
Q. A brief question to all you helpful people... I'm in a great new(er) relationship that is fairly serious, and I have just moved in with my boyfriend, although I've been unofficially living with him for three months. My lease just expired, my thin...
A. 10 January 2013: Most little kids go through that phase. My son did it for years until he got into first grade, and even then, he did it on the weekends many times. We called them blanket parties, and I miss those days dearly. They're really special.
I understa... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is lying about doing dope. I tried to talk to a friend about it and wound up kissing him. Confused!
Q. So I found out a month ago that my boyfriends doing dope.. But I found out by going threw his texts because I knew something weird was going on and I was getting concerned, but I didn't know how to tackle the issue so I thought I put the issue to ...
A. 10 January 2013: Heh, well that's a creative excuse for being a cheater if I ever heard one!
You snoop through his texts, find out he's doing "dope" (insert any number of recreational drugs including catnip here), and instead of talking to him, confront... (read in full...)
Guy trying to steal my girl becoming a nuisance
Q. hi ladies and gents, i need a little help with my gfs/fiances problem friend. before i came onto the scene, they where dating and she gave him a little tail once in a while (from what i gather). but they never became bf/gf because he was too ...
A. 10 January 2013: She is being shockingly disloyal to you and profaning you and your relationship with her, even if she's not currently having sex with him. Here's why:
1. Any person who she's had sex with in the past or has had feelings for or vice versa is autom... (read in full...)
Housework and chore trouble with my boyfriend, do I move out?
Q. My boyfriend and I have lived for a few years now and the housework situation is getting out of control. He grew up with maids and is totally incompetent. Which would be OK I guess, but he won't listen to me or try to learn. I'll try to explain to ...
A. 9 January 2013: Well, you should move out. What are you waiting for? He is not going to change, and you two are completely incompatible.
It's not up to you to teach him how to do something. So what if he makes a mess while doing a chore, so long as he cleans u... (read in full...)
How do I keep from talking to much when I'm nervous around my date?
Q. I seem to talk a lot when I'm nervous. I think my new guy was a little annoyed the other night he was trying to leave but I kept talking to him. He was polite then said baby I have to go I'm so tired. I felt so silly did I blow things? I get so ...
A. 8 January 2013: AskEve is right! Especially about #2! Get him talking! Ask him about himself. Be interested in him.
I don't think you blew it. But next time, ask questions. Eve is right in that they shouldn't be closed-ended (yes or no) question... (read in full...)
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