How can I get past this doubt in my heart that she's being faithful?
Q. I've heard some rumors about my girlfriend from a friend of mines on campus. He says that someone he knows has been saying he and my girlfriend had a thing a few months back. We're weren't a couple back then so naturally this was something that ...
A. 18 February 2013: That would sure be something if we had the Insecurity Perfect Storm happening, and she thinks you being with someone will make you a target for other women to make sport of busting you up, sort of like a dog who digs a hole to hide its bone to keep ... (read in full...)
How can I get past this doubt in my heart that she's being faithful?
Q. I've heard some rumors about my girlfriend from a friend of mines on campus. He says that someone he knows has been saying he and my girlfriend had a thing a few months back. We're weren't a couple back then so naturally this was something that ...
A. 17 February 2013: Ooh, you should be extremely paranoid right now, but not of your girlfriend.
If there's someone to be paranoid of right now, it's your friend, because it sounds an awful lot like he's got designs for your girlfriend. What better way than to plant... (read in full...)
Did I mess up with my crush by this stupid "love calculator" ?
Q. Hello dear aunts and uncles. Unfortunately, like most of us here, I've made a huge mistake. There's this freshman (I'm a sophomore) girl in my High School that I think it pretty. I was looking at her instagram profile and then checked out one ...
A. 17 February 2013: Oh my! You're looking at this like it's a "huge mistake", when in reality, you could turn it into a huge opportunity if you have the courage to do so!
You're feeling embarrassed, which is absolutely normal and I would too. But if you have som... (read in full...)
The best friend? Or the long distance friend?
Q. I'm in a dilema between two women: the first is my best friend. I've been in love with her since the day we met. About a year ago, I tried to tell her how I felt, but I really couldn't get the words out the way I wanted to, and it ended up with her ...
A. 17 February 2013: I don't think you should choose either of them, to be honest.
The first woman turned you down a year ago, and even more important, there's no future if you're about to leave where she is.
The second online woman is also not smart due to the... (read in full...)
He's upset with the gift I gave him -- even complained on lack of gift wrap??? Explain it to me.
Q. Dear Cupids, I have a long distance friend that lives in Germany that I've known for almost 3 years. I'm 25 and he's 23.5. I feel we like each other a little more than friends but each have our own lives, etc. And I don't see them collidi...
A. 17 February 2013: This boyfriend of yours needs a serious reality check. It's one thing to be idealistic, have all of these strong ideas, stand up for a cause, but in many cases the overzealous idealist can inadvertently destroy relationships in the process.
His c... (read in full...)
My wife wants to have a child, I dont. What should we do?
Q. I’m 31 year old man and I’m having a trouble in my marriage. My wife ( she's 32) wants a child, I don’t. We are married for 4 years. We discussed this subject many times before our marriage. I told her I never want to have children and asked whether ...
A. 16 February 2013: Legally, a patient is protected under HIPPA law here in the states, and while some doctors request informing a spouse, many more will not even ask marital status, but simply perform the vasectomy. By law, spouses are not entitled to be informed. ... (read in full...)
I cheated after he lied, and then I found out he cheated first. He won't forgive me. Help!
Q. So long story as short as possible: Last month I found out (through snooping) that my boyfriend of three years was using cocaine last year, and I found a bag of prescription drugs in his belongings. When I found the cocaine he called me a nosy ...
A. 16 February 2013: Toxic! This relationship is unfixable and you know it, but I want to address *you* for a second because any future relationship you get into you will still bring 50% of the problem with you in how you handle things.
Having revenge sex is a horrib... (read in full...)
Why is he being so distant after having sex?
Q. So my best friend told me over the Christmas holidays that he has liked me for a long time but never had the courage which was fantastic because I really liked him too. We started hanging out more at school and going to the movies. I was still sort ...
A. 16 February 2013: Yeah, the moment he said "I want a relationship but not to be boyfriend/girlfriend" should have been the moment you left his bed and never let him touch you.
He wanted to use you for sex, which is no good. He's being distant because he doesn't ... (read in full...)
My wife wants to have a child, I dont. What should we do?
Q. I’m 31 year old man and I’m having a trouble in my marriage. My wife ( she's 32) wants a child, I don’t. We are married for 4 years. We discussed this subject many times before our marriage. I told her I never want to have children and asked whether ...
A. 16 February 2013: I actually don't think that this marriage is dead in the water! I'm serious and feel strongly about this! She's 31, right? In her case, assuming that she didn't lie to you from the start about kids, this is a classic mid-life crisis!
Mid-l... (read in full...)
Help, I need to air my concerns and seek your advice please? I've been sworn to secrecy about their relationship
Q. Hi everyone. I am a bit concerned about my best friend at the moment. I have known her for 23 years (we are both 27) and we have always been very close. About 9 months ago , she made a new friend and I stopped hearing from her as much. I was a bi...
A. 16 February 2013: Boy, that's a hard place for you to be in, knowing she's in a very controlling relationship.
I think you need to talk to her and be very caring and loving, but no longer subtle. You should tell her that she is in danger of losing her friends,... (read in full...)
My wife wants to have a child, I dont. What should we do?
Q. I’m 31 year old man and I’m having a trouble in my marriage. My wife ( she's 32) wants a child, I don’t. We are married for 4 years. We discussed this subject many times before our marriage. I told her I never want to have children and asked whether ...
A. 16 February 2013: I forgot to add here -- you getting a vasectomy simplifies everything. She changed her mind about wanting kids with you as she went into her 30's. Knowing that with you, not only do you CHOOSE not to, but you believe in that choice enough to make ... (read in full...)
Why did this guy take the time to block me on facebook? We had not spoken in years
Q. I have had a platonic friendship with this guy for over 15 years when he dated my friend and I dated his. We had stuff in common so we got on. It was a pretty good platonic friendship, we never liked each other in a romantic way. One day, out o...
A. 16 February 2013: Hmmm. I think there are things we're not hearing about in your post, so my advice, like your post, will most likely be incomplete.
The obvious question is -- since you were in contact with this friend of yours who dated the platonic friend g... (read in full...)
My wife wants to have a child, I dont. What should we do?
Q. I’m 31 year old man and I’m having a trouble in my marriage. My wife ( she's 32) wants a child, I don’t. We are married for 4 years. We discussed this subject many times before our marriage. I told her I never want to have children and asked whether ...
A. 15 February 2013: I need to repeat what R1 said -- if you are truly serious that you don't ever want a child with her or anyone else, why on earth have you not already gotten a vasectomy? That would solve any issue of your wife pulling the goalie, and would ensure ... (read in full...)
Married man at work bought me dozen roses after I told him I only liked him as friend!
Q. I've been workin at a place for about 4 years and in the past two years had a flirty relationship with a married man, nothing serious as he obviously loves his wife, but at the Xmas do he tried to make a pass at me I told him I wasn't interested in ...
A. 15 February 2013: I need to point out the obvious here -- you led on a married man. Flirting shows interest. There's no such thing as "harmless" when you're dealing with a married man.
Answer this one honestly -- before he made a pass at you, did you two ever com... (read in full...)
We've been married 5 years and my husband sends his ex wife a Valentine's Day greeting?
Q. My husband has been loving and generous towards both me and his daughters this Valentine's Day. However, he sent an e-mail greeting 'Happy Valentine's Day' to his ex wife. We have been married nearly five years. How should I feel? React? ...
A. 15 February 2013: I'm with SVC on this one -- what made you snoop? Usually, someone who gets bad vibes or outright suspects something snoops, and those who trust their husband and don't feel anything on the radar can't be bothered to go through the effort.
I thi... (read in full...)
My partner cheated on me 6 months ago and I cant get over it, will the pain ever go away?
Q. hi my partner of 20 years cheated on me with a woman he met on the internet, we live in Australia she lives in America. they used to play cards i would walk past and they would be chatting i would try and look at what they were saying but when i ...
A. 14 February 2013: His only words to you was that it was a "cheap thrill"? This means he's not sorry about it. It wasn't a cheap thrill. It was betrayal that devastated you, and he doesn't get it. How COULD you move on from that if he can just throw away your love ... (read in full...)
How do I let my wife know its ok for her to have a vibrator?
Q. I am a construction worker in Australia, which at the moment means working away from home. A lot. Recently i came home while my wife was out, and my curiosity got the better of me, and i looked in my wifes' bedside table top drawer where i found a ...
A. 14 February 2013: Heh, my husband is a lot like your wife and uses pet names for everything as well. The talking about that stuff makes some people feel...for a lack of a better word...oogy.
If you've already told her you're okay with it, then that's all you need... (read in full...)
Are all guys like this with their baby mamas? Or just my guy?
Q. I'm only 20 and in my first real relationship. We have been dating for 2 and a half years but he is 27 and has a kid. The thing is he always freaking calls his baby mama and what's worse anything she asks for she gets its horrible I don't know what ...
A. 14 February 2013: If you date a guy with a kid, then there will always be an association with his child's mom. This is baggage you either have to accept or leave him over.
He doesn't say no because he loves his child. If she's asking for things that have to do wi... (read in full...)
I snooped and confessed to my husband and now he doesn't trust me
Q. I have been married a while and things were good in the beginning. But I have always been insecure and get jealous and so that made out relationship rocky. He has more single lady friends then he has guy friends and he talks to a couple of theses ...
A. 14 February 2013: WHAT?!???!
He's cheating on you at least emotionally. I would bet that there has also been stuff in the past, but he's successfully cowed you into being more afraid of his reaction to your "snooping" than for you to actually confront him.
... (read in full...)
Will alcohol make you sick the first time you drink it even if it is just a small amount?
Q. My new boyfriend wants to bring over some champagne or wine for our romantic Valentine's dinner at my house. The problem is I have never drank alcohol in my life, just was never interested or associated with people who drink. Of course I would l...
A. 12 February 2013: Alcohol isn't like cigarettes let me assure you!
Beer is a good start, but I even more recommend a good wine cooler like Seagram's or Bartle's and James in various flavors. The taste of beer is an acquired taste, but wine coolers are very goo... (read in full...)
How can I move on now? I am still as miserable the day I discovered his cheating.
Q. I have gone though hell! Ater 23 years of marriage I found out my husband was secretly meeting a younger woman who was previously a lesbian for walks and hitting on her a year and a half later I feel like I've had no closure and am as miserable ...
A. 11 February 2013: Are you still with him? Did you divorce him? Have you gone through counselling? By "closure", do you mean you left him?
I think we could use more information before giving you the best advice, especially on the matter of whether you've left the... (read in full...)
I went on a few dates with a girl, but nothing panned out...however I really hit it off with her friend. Should I pursue this?
Q. A while ago I went on a few dates with a girl but before anything got started we both realized we weren't each other's types and so broke it off. She's now become romantically involved with a friend of mine - which is absolutely fine by me but it ...
A. 11 February 2013: In regards to the girl you're thinking of seeing again, is the "weird past" you're referring to just the way you met her (through dating her friend) or is there something about her past you found about about that she told you about?
You were kin... (read in full...)
I lost my virginity to him, but now it seems he's ready to move on. Do you think he is breaking up with me?
Q. My boyfriend and dated for two and half months. I loved him and thought he loved me and I lost my virginity to him the second month and three weeks later he sends me a message saying he hasn't been feeling hisself lately and that he is overwhelmed ...
A. 11 February 2013: Oh man, I'm sorry this happened to you. It's tough when you lose your virginity because your bonding chemicals are off the scale when it comes to your first guy. It's important to stay clear-minded and not freak out because this guy is flaking on ... (read in full...)
How can I convince her to give up her sex toys? And consider a real guy like me for sex?
Q. I a year a 25 year old male with a new girlfriend who is 21 years old. We have been going out for about three months. After the first week of dating the subject of sex came up She told me that she had bad sexual experiences with her last boyfrie...
A. 9 February 2013: You're 25, right? Is it safe to assume you've had a past relationship with other girls? Let me ask you something, when you were sexually active with whoever you were with, did you give up your hand as well? You're telling me that you didn't ... (read in full...)
How can I convince her to give up her sex toys? And consider a real guy like me for sex?
Q. I a year a 25 year old male with a new girlfriend who is 21 years old. We have been going out for about three months. After the first week of dating the subject of sex came up She told me that she had bad sexual experiences with her last boyfrie...
A. 9 February 2013: You're 25, right? Is it safe to assume you've had a past relationship with other girls? Let me ask you something, when you were sexually active with whoever you were with, did you give up your hand as well? You're telling me that you didn't ... (read in full...)
My parents aren't giving me the freedom I deserve
Q. Hi I'm 21 yrs old and I'm having some trouble issues with my family,especially my father.I'm the tybe of guy who doesn't have many friend maybe 2 or 3 friends(guys)and I think my parents cause this to me.I barely go out and have fun with friends ...
A. 7 February 2013: I'll try to be sensitive, because I remember I felt the same way when I was your age, and my every ambition outside of my college education was to get out of the house and be on my own, so keep in mind that I sympathize with how you feel.
That ... (read in full...)
My experience of an LDR has been flawed by his need for a FWB as well. I refused the latter. Can LDR partners stay faithful?
Q. can people mix up long distance friends with benefits relationship with a committed faithful long distance relationship meaning? I was in a long distance relationship and thought he was faithful for the year prior to my trip to meet him. He ke...
A. 6 February 2013: One more thing...
I strongly suggest changing **all** of your passwords on everything you do online. This guy has no right, and it's extremely dangerous for you to hand your info to a guy you primarily deal with online. Don't ever do that aga... (read in full...)
My experience of an LDR has been flawed by his need for a FWB as well. I refused the latter. Can LDR partners stay faithful?
Q. can people mix up long distance friends with benefits relationship with a committed faithful long distance relationship meaning? I was in a long distance relationship and thought he was faithful for the year prior to my trip to meet him. He ke...
A. 6 February 2013: I have to say, this is a weird one to me. I'm glad I read the whole thing through with the follow-up replies, because on the surface, it sounds like he was asking your opinion on whether or not HE could supplement his LDR with a FWB.
What ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant! How do I tell my parents who don't like the guy and don't even know we've been seeing one another?
Q. What is the best way to tell my parent's I'm pregnant and that the father is 7 years older then? My parent's are strict Christians and for the past year, I have kept my relationship a secret as they didn't approve of my boyfriend as a friend l...
A. 5 February 2013: GarciaDeLuise, you didn't know this, but as a mod, I have privy to the exact age of the OP, and the OP listed her age as 21. Sorry for any confusion. :)... (read in full...)
Was it appropriate for my Gf to start giving my (male) visitor a body massage while I was absent from the room?
Q. I was getting my phone the other night and it turned out to be a long call from my daughter. when I came back to the living room my girlfriend had my friend's shirt off and was giving him a thorough massage. my friend had told me earlier he gets...
A. 5 February 2013: She's got the gall to be miffed at you? Hah!
You're definitely in the right here. Your girlfriend is not a licensed massage therapist, and even if she were, she wasn't in a professional setting like a spa or a sports therapy situatio... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting to feel hurt, upset and objectified?
Q. I hope someone can help. I'm a black woman who's been dating a white guy for the past four years. Recently I found myself with his computer. I was surfing the net and ended up peeking at his Facebook messages, which I know I shouldn't have done. ...
A. 4 February 2013: Seriously, you shouldn't have been snooping through his Facebook messages, because now you can't un-see what you saw there.
He called you "Chocolate"? I don't think that was meant to slur you or be disrespectful to your race, however, it was very... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant! How do I tell my parents who don't like the guy and don't even know we've been seeing one another?
Q. What is the best way to tell my parent's I'm pregnant and that the father is 7 years older then? My parent's are strict Christians and for the past year, I have kept my relationship a secret as they didn't approve of my boyfriend as a friend l...
A. 4 February 2013: Hold on a second. This isn't a teen pregnancy if you're 21. You're not some little kid in 10th grade who got knocked up. You're a grownup now, so it's time to act like one. Who is this guy to you who pays your bills? Do you both live together? ... (read in full...)
I'm 16. Is it wrong for me to have unprotected sex, already had a miscarriage and want to get pregnant?
Q. ok so heres the deal...me and my bf have been dating for almost a year now...we stated having sex 5 months after we began dating...but we NEVER used condom...we are 2 highschool students and he is to graduate this year...i have suffered a miscarrage ...
A. 3 February 2013: Who is paying for this child, to feed it, clothe it, raise it, educate, take care of medical needs, and such??
You should not be making decisions that others have to foot the bill for. Not only that, but at 16, you are not mature enough to give ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lies to me about masturbating
Q. Well i will just hop into it. My boyfriend of 4 years likes to masturbate , which what guy and girl doesnt. I dont mind it, Im actually turned on by it. I dont like that he lies to me and says he never,not even once a year, does it. Idk why he lies ...
A. 3 February 2013: This isn't about losing interest in you or your sex life. This is simply about privacy. I don't like lying at all and your boyfriend needs to grow a spine and tell you that that aspect of his sexuality belongs to him alone rather than lie. He's ... (read in full...)
I was called a bad name by a stranger and it ruined my whole day. How do I stop caring about this kind of event?
Q. Hi guys, this may sound like a silly problem but it bothers me a lot, Basically while usually I'm a real tough cookie, sometimes small things people do or say bother me far more than they really should, I get really sad and insecure, For e...
A. 2 February 2013: Yep, go to the hairdressers and report his behavior if it's really bothering you. He called you a name because he is a fraction of a man who took out his frustration at not making a sale out on you in an immature and infantile fashion.
What ... (read in full...)
Why would anyone refuse a free trip to a tropical paradise? Why won't my boyfriend come to see my family with me?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for two years and we've been living together, with his family, for a long time. I got a big promotion at work and finally was able to buy plane tickets to see my little brother and mother in Florida. I've been so ...
A. 2 February 2013: You've learned a very important truth:
Domesticity does not equal commitment. You're living with him and his family, right? This means that he hasn't had to support himself, much less you? You're the one paying the bill and not him?
This tr... (read in full...)
Would you end a relationship because your partner is untidy?
Q. Would you end a relationship because your partner is untidy and unorganised ?. My boyfriend is lovely. He treats me very well, but one thing i don't like is that his house is a mess a lot of the time and unorganised. He doesnt have a bed. He has ...
A. 2 February 2013: There's a difference between clutter and nasty, and I think this guy is nasty. Not all guys live like pigs when they're single. My brother actually inherited the extreme neat freak-ness from our mom, and when he was single, his apartment was ... (read in full...)
Mothers out there. Do you feel overwhelmed by being a wife And Mom? How do I ensure I'm not swamped by it all?
Q. Hi, I need help to all Mothers out there. Do you feel overwhelmed by being a wife And Mom? I feel guilty to even say it aloud but some days I feel like I'm failing. I work full time come home cook, clean, play with my son listen to my husband ...
A. 2 February 2013: I'm a wife and mom, and my husband and I split chores, work, and responsibilities equally.
You are a full time worker, meaning why are you also doing all of the cooking, cleaning, and being the only one to take care of your son who has learning... (read in full...)
Was my room mate rude or am I over reacting?
Q. I moved in with one of my good friends a few months ago, around September/October. This is the first time either one of us has had a room mate. For New Years, we had other friends over and cooked dinner together. I brought 2 bottles of champagn...
A. 2 February 2013: There's a snag here -- you both bought and invested into a party. I take it she bought food that was consumed as well as you bought champagne that was and wasn't consumed?
Wouldn't that be considered a leftover pooled resource from a mutually... (read in full...)
How can people have sex with the same person and not get bored?
Q. I am still a virgin so I have no knowledge of such things, but it seems to me that If I had sex with the same girl all the time then things would get very boring, kind of like watching the same movie over and over and over again. Assuming that ...
A. 31 January 2013: People always change and evolve. If you're with the same person, sex isn't always the same. People change, mature, a relationship deepens, you get a bit more adventurous, etc.
By your same logic, having the mechanical act of sex should get bori... (read in full...)
My husband says he doesn't watch porn or masturbate ever. Is this possible?
Q. All I ever read on this site is how men use porn. If a guy says he isn't using porn then he is lying. I read a post just the other day for a woman who wanted a man who didn't cheat, watch porn, look at other women, etc. It got tons of replies all ...
A. 31 January 2013: Leave the guy alone! He stood by you when you were in the hospital. I assume he went out of his way to take care of you when you came home. This is how you repay him??
If there's one attitude that can help you in regards to porn/mas... (read in full...)
My husband bought a necklace for a random waitress. I find it inappropriate, he thinks it's charity. Thoughts please.
Q. Mod note: I added she was the waitress to make the question more clear. I found a receipt for a swarovski necklace in the sale in my husbands week day apartment. When I asked him about it, after a few laughs, he said that he goes to a chinese ...
A. 31 January 2013: If I were you, I'd find a way to end the whole "day apartment" arrangement, because I think he's being disloyal to you big time.... (read in full...)
My husband bought a necklace for a random waitress. I find it inappropriate, he thinks it's charity. Thoughts please.
Q. Mod note: I added she was the waitress to make the question more clear. I found a receipt for a swarovski necklace in the sale in my husbands week day apartment. When I asked him about it, after a few laughs, he said that he goes to a chinese ...
A. 30 January 2013: No way. Jewelry is a very intimate gift. He has no business buying random gifts for servers, and if it truly was innocent, he would have informed you of his intent to do it and not waited for you to find it in his weekday apartment.
And yes, why... (read in full...)
My husband says he doesn't watch porn or masturbate ever. Is this possible?
Q. All I ever read on this site is how men use porn. If a guy says he isn't using porn then he is lying. I read a post just the other day for a woman who wanted a man who didn't cheat, watch porn, look at other women, etc. It got tons of replies all ...
A. 30 January 2013: Not all men are porn hounds who masturbate constantly! His sex drive very well may be satisfied at the level it is now. There have been guys who have posted on here who found porn degrading and disgusting.
Seriously, not all guys need it, like... (read in full...)
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