How can I help my friend? His girlfriend's family don't accept him!
Q. My friend's 19, and he's told me he's started dating this Indian girl who's lovely. I'm happy for him, however, it's the reaction of her parents that worries him (she's Muslim but not by choice). She does not want to be Muslim, she is not at al...
A. 6 September 2013: This one's really a tough one, but in truth, the real issue is what your friend's girlfriend is going to do. Your friend will never be accepted because of his religion, because it's a grave issue to leave Islam. Typically, to formally renounce ... (read in full...)
I sent a male friend a topless photo of myself and the guilt has been eating me up ever since
Q. hi.. so i'm stumped and feeling guilty. i've been with my boyfriend since i was 17 years old. i'm now about to be 22. he's my first real boyfriend and i love him to pieces. the reason why i came to this site, is because in early 2011, my best friend ...
A. 6 September 2013: Actually, I disagree with DKW. It *was* wrong to do what you did. You've been with your boyfriend for nearly 5 years, and while you were in the relationship, you sent a topless picture to another man.
That would be like a guy sending a picture ... (read in full...)
I finished a relationship with a divorcee because he is too tied to his family and I was a secret to his children. Why does he keep in contact with me?
Q. I had a mind blowing intense, although only 4 months in length relationship with a divorced man. I am also divorced. We both have kids from our previous marriages. There was a lot of chemistry and tenderness between us and we were both happy to have ...
A. 5 September 2013: There are two issues here that I want to address:
The first is about the ex. The fact that she has a pull on him in terms of manipulating him by getting depressed when he sees a new woman is too much baggage. They divorced 2 years ago, and whil... (read in full...)
Dating a man who treats me right but who I dont' find attractive enough. Help!
Q. I know this is shallow but I can only get myself to put in an effort with a guy if I find him good looking.. I'm in a relationship with this guy for 4 months,I don't find him all that attractive, he's a pretty decent looking guy but when women co...
A. 5 September 2013: I agree with the others -- it's a matter of personal chemistry. The kindest thing you can do to him now is to let him go free so that he can be with a woman who flat out adores everything about him.
Be gentle and make sure that you tell him that... (read in full...)
Happily married men: when did you know you wanted your wife to be your wife?
Q. Question for the happily married men out there : when did you know your wife was "the one?". Did she have to push you to take the next step - or did you ask her? (whether it be moving in, marriage, or baby) I brought up the "next step" (moving ...
A. 3 September 2013: While there are no rules to moving in together, a huge number of people agree on waiting until at least a year into a relationship before moving in together. Your asking at 7 months probably unnerved him because that's usually the timeframe when ... (read in full...)
Torn between the girl leaving for university, and the local one.
Q. I'm not sure what to do, I'm in a boat I've never been before. I've been getting close to a friend of mine all summer, we both knew she was moving away to university 200 miles away and I gave her the option of either making things a proper relatio...
A. 2 September 2013: You have only one choice here. If you are any kind of man, you'll break it off with the long distance girl because you've already destroyed your relationship with her by sleeping with the local girl behind her back.
Put yourself in the uni girl... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has cheated on me several times. Is it acceptable for me to have an affair of my own to show her that there are consequences to her behaviour?
Q. My 28yo GF has been with me for 5 years. This is the best relationship either of us have ever had. Its not perfect but we enjoy each other and we are good for each other most of the time. My GF openly says she used to be a huge cheater. Then...
A. 1 September 2013: One more thing to think about and chew on:
Here's another BIG reason why this isn't really about you wanting to have an affair and "have your cake and eat it too". Here's why:
If it was all about you chasing extracurricular tail and "evenin... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has cheated on me several times. Is it acceptable for me to have an affair of my own to show her that there are consequences to her behaviour?
Q. My 28yo GF has been with me for 5 years. This is the best relationship either of us have ever had. Its not perfect but we enjoy each other and we are good for each other most of the time. My GF openly says she used to be a huge cheater. Then...
A. 31 August 2013: Actually, you don't fool me for one single second. You aren't looking to have an affair and are using this to justify it. You are looking to *hurt* your girlfriend because you got hurt by her and want to punish her for it. That is why you say you ... (read in full...)
I snooped on her computer and don't like what I found!
Q. a couple of months ago i was visiting my LD girlfriend and i had lots of time alone at her place while she was at school. i snooped into her computer historial out of couriosity and i found she had visited some hook up site afew times for the last ...
A. 31 August 2013: Sorry, but *you* are the red flag in my opinion. Why would she be compelled to give you her Facebook password? Why would you waste a visit with her by snooping all over her computer internet history? If you were my boyfriend, LD or otherwise, I'd ... (read in full...)
He can't respect that I'm sensitive
Q. I'm posting here because I would appreciate someone's input on this. My boyfriend and I have been dating for several months now. I noticed this before but recently it's been bugging me a lot more. I'm pretty sensitive and emotional at tim...
A. 31 August 2013: I agree with the others. It's a compatibility issue. You should be with someone who can handle how you react to things and how you express emotions.
Some people have a problem with dealing with emotional people because they believe that their em... (read in full...)
I hate being part of a list,but all the boys of my age don't want more
Q. Hi guys. I have an issue i need some advice on! Over the weekend i was at a festival and kissed this guy. We spent e whole night together and he was really sweet. I kind of knew it would be a 'one night thing' (we didnt do anything more than ...
A. 31 August 2013: Of course it makes sense! I know exactly why you feel like you have made a mistake and why you can't stop thinking about this guy either. Here's why:
You are the type of person who is more suited for relationships than casual physical contact.... (read in full...)
I get jealous of his virtual game girlfriend!
Q. Dear Cupid, I've returned once again with a new relationship and I'm extremely happy with him. I met him the same way I met my last boyfriend on an online game, but we live in the same state so we can go out. However now on the game we ...
A. 22 August 2013: Listen, he shouldn't be doing that while he is dating you.
What he's doing isn't a "virtual game girlfriend". He's roleplaying virtually with a REAL other woman. That crosses a real, honest-to-goodness line of disloyalty.
If it were a true "... (read in full...)
My curvy LDR gets advice from her friends to lose weight. I like her just the way she is. Should she listen to her friends or me?
Q. I have been in LDR with an American girl for two years. We met once in South East Asia and spent two weeks together. I'm 32 and she is 34. She is curvy and always asks me whether, "should I lose weight or not?" Also, if she loses weight, he...
A. 19 August 2013: She should do what is healthy for her, naturally. Some people are more predisposed to curviness than others, so being "thin" or "heavy" is a threshold different for everyone. Her doctor and a dietitian are the best for telling her if there are any ... (read in full...)
Am I doing the right thing for my son?
Q. I got pregnant with my son at 18 by a guy who told me I was a whore and the baby wasn't his. He was my first. He didn't talk to me for four months after that. Then he decided to contact me at which point he basically used me for money and rides when ...
A. 18 August 2013: Yes, you definitely *are* protecting your son. His biological father had the only legal right to visit, and he's no longer alive. The others are all on drugs and living a life where violence and drugs are the norm.
The first 5 years of your son... (read in full...)
I thought our relationship was my business! Am I overreacting?
Q. I have been with this guy for a while now. I love him very much and thought he felt the same way. we use to share everything. He is the only guy friend I felt I needed. I don't talk to other guys on the phone or internet. I recently found out that ...
A. 18 August 2013: Seriously, you should count yourself the luckiest woman on the face of the earth right now. First of all, you are INTELLIGENT! You must have been feeling bad vibes in the first place if you felt compelled to check into him, and finding out that he ... (read in full...)
I've been mourning my dog for two years -- is that normal?
Q. Hello Aunts, It's really difficult to describe your feelings when they run deep, at least I really struggle with it. I honestly suck at expressing my deepest feelings in words and I am heartbroken to the core. So, I apologize in advance for my p...
A. 17 August 2013: I agree with the others - you are urgently in need of professional help, because this isn't actually about Gretchen, though you've chosen her as the focus for your clinical depression and other issues. So the real question is -
Do you want to ... (read in full...)
She wants space, how should I approach this?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. We both loved each other endlessly from almost the very beginning. For me, she is the love that I have searching for my whole life and from letters and notes from her I am her one and only. S...
A. 17 August 2013: That letter to her sounds like a good start. I'm glad you've got an open mind to see where you messed up.
I have long said that a future relationship partner must never be made to pay or make up for the baggage and issues from prior relation... (read in full...)
She wants space, how should I approach this?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. We both loved each other endlessly from almost the very beginning. For me, she is the love that I have searching for my whole life and from letters and notes from her I am her one and only. S...
A. 16 August 2013: My answer is going to be simple for you, because the reason why she's backing away from you is glaringly obvious:
You blew it BIG TIME.
You *know* that she had a very controlling spouse, and that he took it to an extreme.
So what do you ... (read in full...)
We've been friends for years, but I haven't heard from him since we slept together
Q. Ok so there is this guy we have been friends for about 8 years, he has always seemed to like me, then all of a sudden i started to have feelings for him, so we started talking more ect he said he liked me and i told him the same, then we slept ...
A. 15 August 2013: Hold on a second -- before we go straight to the "delete him out of your life", you didn't add some very important information here:
1. How long ago did you sleep together? Was it a couple of days ago, or haven't you spoken for 2 weeks? If this ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my girlfriend of 3 months...what do I do now? Tell her or not?
Q. Hi. I did a terrible thing and cheated on my girlfriend of 3 months. I was out with work mates having drinks (a lot) and on the way home I kissed one of the girls. I absolutely regret it. I am in so much guilt that its eating me inside out. I think ...
A. 15 August 2013: Male anon - if it were a girl who kissed another guy, my advice would be exactly the same - to come clean, because the relationship has already been damaged.
OP, you are a dirty cheater. You'll live with the guilt "for her happiness"? No, this... (read in full...)
I cheated on my girlfriend of 3 months...what do I do now? Tell her or not?
Q. Hi. I did a terrible thing and cheated on my girlfriend of 3 months. I was out with work mates having drinks (a lot) and on the way home I kissed one of the girls. I absolutely regret it. I am in so much guilt that its eating me inside out. I think ...
A. 14 August 2013: Yeah, you should come clean, because relationships are built on trust. She may get mad and break up with you, but like WiseOwlE said, sometimes the consequences of our actions, as painful as they may be, are what can permanently change us for the ... (read in full...)
How do I let my boyfriend know that I don't want a ring?
Q. This may be a bit of an odd question, but it's a subject I'd rather not bring up with women I know personally because so many of them are so materialistic. My boyfriend and I are not engaged, but we are getting serious and from comments he has ...
A. 14 August 2013: It's okay to be disgusted with a culture of excess. Many of us are.
However, using your own relationship as a way to vent that negative feeling is not a good idea. You are only 1/2 of the relationship, and if he wants to show his love by getti... (read in full...)
I feel I'm addicted to having this married man with me, even though he proved to be a liar and a cheater. How can I snap myself out of this?
Q. 2 years ago I met a man whom I fell in love with. We started seeing each other until I found out he was actually married with children (his wife read his messages and contacted me). I was devastated and things ended right there. Since we live ...
A. 14 August 2013: You already know the moral aspect of this, so what do you usually do when you are uncontrollably engaging in very self-destructive behavior?
You GET HELP! Talk to his wife and let her know he's still betraying her. You talk to a therapis... (read in full...)
Why did he wait for three months to tell me that he needs me? It's just too late now.
Q. Sorry,my story is a bit long.My ex and I broke up three months ago. We had a huge fight before we broke up. He asked for time and space but I didn't give it to him because he was distant(We were in LDR for two years)and the fight was about one of ...
A. 11 August 2013: Here's a really obvious tipoff:
You dated him for 4 years and were LDR for 2 of those 4 years. If you were truly clingy and insecure, it would have manifest very early on. The fact that he accused you of it only at the end of the relation... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's phone CONSTANTLY beeps and his friends won't take him off the group message. It's driving me insane!
Q. My boyfriend is a great guy who treats me well. The only issue I have is he recently got an iphone and his group of friends (3 girls and 4 guys) have him on a group message. Now, precious to his getting an iphone he wasn't on any similar group text ...
A. 9 August 2013: Right! Have him silence the phone! That should take care of things.
I'm guessing he's one of those guys who doesn't like to read owners manuals. heh :)... (read in full...)
Is there any way to love someone less?
Q. I love deeply my girlfriend of a year and a half, but I feel she does not love as much as I do. I know she loves me, just not as deeply as I woukd like. has anyone experienced the same thing? is there any way, method so I can love her less and be ...
A. 9 August 2013: The real question you should be asking yourself is
"Why do I feel insecure about my girlfriend's love for me?"
You can't dictate how someone else expresses love towards you. She may not be as gushy or demonstrative, but would you have your gi... (read in full...)
Can separation be good for a marriage? I am moving out but we both still want it to work.
Q. I've been asking for a lot of help lately, I certainly need it... I'm going through a separation right now. I'm moving out tomorrow after my marriage has seemed to have fallen apart. I'm devastated. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm all over the place. ...
A. 3 August 2013: My grandparents lived separately the entire time I knew them. They were happily married, though in separate houses. They'd live as if they were dating, but they were married. That's a very rare occurrence, but they were that way from the start ... (read in full...)
My ex will not allow his children to see me and I know how much it is hurting them
Q. Hi... Just a question I wanted to ask as I am so so angry and need clarity! I have broke up with my fella of 2 years, he took me for granted, used me as a money bank etc etc. I was unhappy for months and told him but he never tried... He ...
A. 3 August 2013: Wow, that's disgusting of this guy.
If you really care about those kids, especially if they're little, you will stop all contact with this guy. If you've broken up with him, it's not healthy to keep hanging around. If she's fine when you're n... (read in full...)
I asked my girlfriend to move in but she wants me to tell her what I plan for the future. I'm not sure what I want yet, what do I do?
Q. I am 25 and I recently asked my girlfriend of 4 years to move in with me. She is 28. She told me she needed to think about it for a few days, but when she came back she told me she couldn't decide until she knew for certain whether I want marriage ...
A. 3 August 2013: She's actually being smart, and if you're not wanting the same thing she wants, better to know that before you two move in together. I agree with the others, if you're still not sure after 4 years, then she's wasting her time and yours.
Liste... (read in full...)
Am I just supposed to drop our friendship because her girlfriend doesn't like it?
Q. hey everyone. i'm a 29 year old lesbian and my best friend was a 32 year old lesbian. we had been friends for years. just friends. she was the single most important friend i'd ever had. she got into a relationship about 8 months ago with a woman...
A. 3 August 2013: I have a few questions here, because this question has me a bit confused.
First of all, the break-in. Why wasn't your friend insured?? I have gone through a home invasion robbery where we got cleaned out, and we had most of the items replaced... (read in full...)
Can separation be good for a marriage? I am moving out but we both still want it to work.
Q. I've been asking for a lot of help lately, I certainly need it... I'm going through a separation right now. I'm moving out tomorrow after my marriage has seemed to have fallen apart. I'm devastated. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm all over the place. ...
A. 2 August 2013: I think that whether or not separation is a good thing depends on the reason why the marriage got to this point. It also depends on the personalities and goals of the married couple.
I can only speak for myself. I don't believe in the concept ... (read in full...)
I ended the relationship because she wasn't ready to have sex, now I feel that I was an idiot.
Q. I broke up with my girlfriend about a month ago. The reason for it was that she was a virgin and did not feel ready for sex. At first I did not think this was a problem but after four months I was starting to get frustrated, although I did not show ...
A. 2 August 2013: Heh, TasteofIndia, excellent story! I wasn't going to say it in this guy's post, but for me, the shoe was on the other foot. I was the one who waited for my boyfriend, who said he didn't want to lose his virginity until marriage. Even did some sort ... (read in full...)
I ended the relationship because she wasn't ready to have sex, now I feel that I was an idiot.
Q. I broke up with my girlfriend about a month ago. The reason for it was that she was a virgin and did not feel ready for sex. At first I did not think this was a problem but after four months I was starting to get frustrated, although I did not show ...
A. 2 August 2013: You said this:
"I never intended to make her feel that way, and I told her repeatedly if I made her uncomfortable to tell me to stop and I would"
Be honest. How many times did she tell you to stop?? It *is* pressuring her if every time you d... (read in full...)
We broke up but when met up again and had sex. I'm confused about what he wants
Q. I dumped my ex about three weeks ago. Let me tell you why, he started saying he doesn't know how much longer we would be together because he doesn't like being chained down all the time. I took that as him saying he wants to see other people. I ...
A. 1 August 2013: This is where it went wrong:
"So I dumped him and said we can still be friends."
No. That's the problem. When you dump him, that should be it. You don't stay friends with exes. That blocks you from moving on and is unhealthy, as yo... (read in full...)
Will I held liable for maintenance ?
Q. Hi please help. Does anyone know, if my husband gets retrenched will I be held liable for the maintenance for his child with his ex girlfriend? Thanks....
A. 1 August 2013: The answer should be no. If the ex holds the DNA, she is liable. That should be the case no matter what his marital status is to whoever.... (read in full...)
My ex was rotten to me so why do I only remember the good times?
Q. So it's been three months since my ex dumped me. He's quick-tempered and abusive and never respected me while we're with his friends. We had no contact after we broke up. But every month he would call or write me messages and asked me to call him ...
A. 1 August 2013: Block him. Block his number on your phone, and block his emails. That way he can't draw you back in.
The others are right. You haven't moved on. Your ego likes the vindication of the guy who dumped you wanting you back. You need to fill the... (read in full...)
Do I believe my current guy, who used to be a player, or my ex, who is a compulsve liar?
Q. Me and this guy have been friends for some time but we recently decided to take things a little further. We aren't officially dating or anything but we "talk". Anyway, He has a past of a cheater, but he has been 100% faithful to me. He gives me...
A. 1 August 2013: Your conversation went way longer than it should have. It should have been "Listen, don't call me again from any number." If he launches into "your boyfriend has a girlfriend" respond "It's none of your business" and hang up.
I stand by my earli... (read in full...)
Do I believe my current guy, who used to be a player, or my ex, who is a compulsve liar?
Q. Me and this guy have been friends for some time but we recently decided to take things a little further. We aren't officially dating or anything but we "talk". Anyway, He has a past of a cheater, but he has been 100% faithful to me. He gives me...
A. 1 August 2013: Actually, I question your character as much as the others.
You're being very disloyal to your current boyfriend if you're talking to your ex behind his back. If your ex was a compulsive liar, then what the hell are you doing talking to him in t... (read in full...)
Went against advice and lost my virginity to a FWB and I loved it. Has anyone else done this and not regretted their actions?
Q. Hi. I have a question concerning my first time. I lost my virginity about a month ago to my fwb. Many people advised me against it seeing as there is no emotional attachment or significance. However i loved it so much. It was such a thrilling and ...
A. 1 August 2013: You're lucky! Many women have awful first time sex even with a committed long-term relationship with someone they love. You're among the ranks of those that had a great first-time, and good for you!
I worry, though. Women tend to bond more wit... (read in full...)
I've known so many men who don't look at other women, so why have I been unable to find one for myself?
Q. I have a curiousity that's been on my mind for awhile now. I've heard it said many times and read on here and other websites all men look at other women even if they are happy with their partners, it's in their genes, they are visual. You name it. ...
A. 1 August 2013: Do you see the pattern?
All the guys you're NOT with you describe as not looking at other women.
All the guys you've BEEN with including your husband you describe as looking at other women.
The common denominator is you. No, I'm not say... (read in full...)
I have amazing chemistry with this girl but she won't break up with her new boyfriend. Is she just leading me on?
Q. I met a girl on odd string of events. I went out on the porch of my friends house that i now have taken up residence to chill with him while he smoked. Well i looked across the street to the house directly across and saw this cute girl i had noticed ...
A. 1 August 2013: If it's been weeks and weeks, then she's with the other guy and is hedging her bets with you. You are second place. For her to spend intimate time with you (even emotionally) is disloyal to her boyfriend.
You should tell her that you can no l... (read in full...)
| *ouWish's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ouWish has
added them and they have added *ouWish!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
