A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi...Just a question I wanted to ask as I am so so angry and need clarity! I have broke up with my fella of 2 years, he took me for granted, used me as a money bank etc etc. I was unhappy for months and told him but he never tried...He has 2 kids from a previous relationship who I love to bits...he has told his youngest who is 5 that they will never see me again, then put her on the phone to me just so I could hear how upset she was. She wants to see me, which I don't know what to do. I have told him that he shouldn't have said that to his little girl. She is heartbroken. I cheered her up within seconds but I feel he is using her to make me feel guilty, but the only reason why I left was because things where going so wrong and I was exhausted. Should I see his little girl or any other bits of advice? She never notices when I am not around previously, but as he told her, she got upset. I feel awful for her. Ps - I work with children and protect them, so he knows how this would make me feel. Thanks :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2013): Thank you all for your answers and words of advice. I have sought a lot of advice on this site and it is always appreciated.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2013): You may not be related by blood to this kid but she loves you and you care note about her than her own asshole father. I disagree with the other posters who say you should forget the kid. What if you are or were the only sane adult role model in her life?? Don't abandon her so easily just because there is no blood tie. At least put up a fight.Talk to your ex again not about the relationship but about what he is doing to his kid. It is not necessary to be family in order to have some sort of relationship with a kid who already knows and loves you. When I was growing up I loved our neighbors and friends of my parents. I would hang out at their house with their kids.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (3 August 2013):
 Wow, that's disgusting of this guy.
If you really care about those kids, especially if they're little, you will stop all contact with this guy. If you've broken up with him, it's not healthy to keep hanging around. If she's fine when you're not there, don't give this guy any ability to contact you. End everything to do with him, and you will do those kids a favor by not allowing him to hurt his kids in order to get to you.
Block him from every ability to access you. Go COMPLETE no-contact, and I mean COMPLETE, as in he's dead forever to you.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (3 August 2013):
 What an absolute failure of a father!
His children are not yours, and it seems he will have no compunction hurting them in order to hurt you. The best thing you can do for these kids is to withdraw completely from their lives.
Block him from all areas of your life, telephone, social networking, emails. If you see the kids when you are out and about I would not cut them dead, smile broadly and say hello, however keep the conversation brief but welcoming.
As somebody has already pointed out, kids are resilient, and they do remember.
I hope it works out well for you and then, good luck!
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A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (3 August 2013):
He is an A$$! Do not have ANY contact with him. He is abusing you and his kids with what he is doing.
Kids are resilient. They move on much quicker than us adults. With you not having contact with him he will learn that he can't use all of you.
Delete everything about him. If you run into his kids in the future, they will only have positive memories of you....they will remember what he is trying to pull. Kids are so smart. We just don't give them enough credit.
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 August 2013):
 STOP having contact with him, he is USING his kids to make YOU feel like crap and obviously it's working.
Relationship end and YEAH it sucks, specially for the kids. Make it a clean cut, the kids will get over it and move on a lot faster if you DO NOT try and stay in the picture. I think it's a LOT harder for you to deal with then it is for the kids.
And it's a SHITTY thing for your EX to do, not only to you, but to his kids.
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