I have amazing chemistry with this girl but she won't break up with her new boyfriend. Is she just leading me on?
Q. I met a girl on odd string of events. I went out on the porch of my friends house that i now have taken up residence to chill with him while he smoked. Well i looked across the street to the house directly across and saw this cute girl i had noticed ...
A. 1 August 2013: If it's been weeks and weeks, then she's with the other guy and is hedging her bets with you. You are second place. For her to spend intimate time with you (even emotionally) is disloyal to her boyfriend.
You should tell her that you can no l... (read in full...)
I would take my ex back if he'd give me an apology!
Q. I broke up with him about 5 weeks ago. After about 2 weeks of no contact he started talking to me last week. It was so nice, like when we first met. We spoke twice and sent a few txts. A few times he suggested we should catch up and asked when I'd ...
A. 1 August 2013: What is it exactly that you want? If you've decided to start talking to him, then you've gone beyond the apology stage. The "apology" should have been expected before contact was re-established, because by warming up to him now means you've ... (read in full...)
I've been saving for 9 months so that my boyfriend and I could move in together only to find that he has saved NOTHING at all. Is he subconsciously telling m he doesn't want to move to my area?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been in a long distance relationship for coming up to two years and for the past year we've been talking about moving in together. We ruled out me moving to him because it is so much more expensive to live in his area that...
A. 1 August 2013: I'm surprised to read that nobody's pointed out the obvious:
This isn't two people moving into a place, it's three. That can get awkward for even the closest of friends when two of the three are a romantic relationship, making the third person f... (read in full...)
Would it be an insult to get my wife an anniversary card after I cheated on her with a prostitute?
Q. I admitted to my wife just after Christmas that I'd cheated on her with a prostitute. I regret my behaviour very much and have no intention of ever repeating it. My wife is trying to forgive me and we're still together, but she doesn't wear her ...
A. 30 July 2013: *COURT* her. You remember what your dating life before marriage was like, right?
She's right...you destroyed your marriage. So court her as if you newly met. You would throw your affair in her face if you get her an anniversary gift. So, on y... (read in full...)
I am hurt that my boyfriend of 4 years is going on a 3-month music tour without consulting this with me!
Q. My boyfriend of 4 years is a music teacher, and I just found out he has agreed to go on a 3 month tour with his friend's band (their normal bassist can't do it) without thinking to discuss it with me. I am so hurt! Surely after 4 years this is so...
A. 30 July 2013: You live together?
That's different if his decision impacts you financially.
In this case, I'd tell him to not come back.... (read in full...)
I am hurt that my boyfriend of 4 years is going on a 3-month music tour without consulting this with me!
Q. My boyfriend of 4 years is a music teacher, and I just found out he has agreed to go on a 3 month tour with his friend's band (their normal bassist can't do it) without thinking to discuss it with me. I am so hurt! Surely after 4 years this is so...
A. 30 July 2013: Chigirl, I totally respect your opinion. Your point of view is one I think is sorely needed on here. And, as far as the OP's emotional response to this incident is, I agree with you!
You bring up the point I was making at the close of my post.... (read in full...)
I am hurt that my boyfriend of 4 years is going on a 3-month music tour without consulting this with me!
Q. My boyfriend of 4 years is a music teacher, and I just found out he has agreed to go on a 3 month tour with his friend's band (their normal bassist can't do it) without thinking to discuss it with me. I am so hurt! Surely after 4 years this is so...
A. 29 July 2013: Here's the thing, and as painful as it is, and as much as I understand you being hurt, you and he are not married.
You having a say in his decision, and even you having a right to be consulted in his decision, that is only when you're married.... (read in full...)
Bible-thumping dad's bully antics are driving my family apart! Help!
Q. Aunts and Uncles, I have a “Bible thumping” father. While I love him and recognize his strengths (type A, making money, engineering things, taking challenges head on, networking), I have been chased down and pestered to believe in God on his terms, ...
A. 29 July 2013: I totally knew that by the end of reading this, it would all boil down to money, because if you were truly self-sufficient, your dad's views wouldn't get to you.
You can't have it both ways. If you're wanting to take from his hand, then you need... (read in full...)
When do you tell a woman you have had a vasectomy?
Q. If a man has had a vasectomy, when is he obligated to tell the woman he is dating or interested in dating? What I am wondering is, if one decided to disclose this immediately, how would one bring this up on a first date? "So, what are your i...
A. 29 July 2013: I would talk about it before exclusivity and before sex, in the same conversation about goals regarding children. If she says she's wanting to be a mom or wants kids, then is the time to respond saying that you made a decision not to have them, and ... (read in full...)
I ruined my boyfriend's friendship without meaning to, how can I fix the situation?
Q. Hello all. As background:My boyfriend has always been concerned of whom I talk to. To the point where he feels my male friends or males that try to talk to me are all trying to get me into bed according to him. This triggered me drawing myself f...
A. 27 July 2013: Your boyfriend is very controlling, and you need to put a stop to his crap.
No, he's not the tyrannical type who abuses you or calls you names, but he's got you under his thumb using more subtle manipulation and emotional blackmail of the dirtiest... (read in full...)
Am I being clingy and obsessive ?
Q. We love each other we agreed to take things slow and refrain from making things official as of right now. I think this is a great idea considering our situation but here is where the problem lies. He told me that whenever we are not in conta...
A. 27 July 2013: The only reason people resist exclusivity is precisely because he wants to keep the options open. It surprises me that he's so concerned about your fidelity, yet won't become exclusive. If you two are now having sex, you are now one of two ... (read in full...)
How do I resolve my feelings about my sexuality? Should I wait until I have my first crush on a girl?
Q. I think im bi. Not completely positive, but i will see another girl sometimes and be totally turned on. Like girls my age. i KNOW i like boys though. but i dont know how to tell my parents or anything. its so wierd. I dont really know what im asking ...
A. 26 July 2013: Oh! You are at such a great point in your life. Your sexuality is coming alive, and hormones are changing you top to bottom. It's so overwhelming!
Here's the thing - right now, don't even worry about any labels now. I know you're trying t... (read in full...)
I can't trust my husband because he gambles and lies
Q. My husband and i have been married for almost two years. I know we are new and young but I am worried that we have problems that I can't fix. When we were engaged he gambled away $500 of our savings behind my back then confessed. Then after one ...
A. 26 July 2013: Okay, now you *really* need to wake up.
You equate your ability for yourself to open up a credit card account with everything being okay? Not a chance. That only means he hasn't yet defaulted.
Run the credit reports for each of the free... (read in full...)
Would love your opinion on what you think rational, logical men are like in love?
Q. Hi Would love your opinion on what you think rational, logical men are like in love? I'm very sensitive and emotional, whereas my partner is rational and logical. He said to me: with it not intending to be an arrogant sounding thing, that the grea...
A. 25 July 2013: Heh, I personally think he's full of crap and you should see right through him.
He's actually saying that drivel in order to give you the illusion that he's the one with the power to control the relationship, and the the seemingly less-int... (read in full...)
I can't trust my husband because he gambles and lies
Q. My husband and i have been married for almost two years. I know we are new and young but I am worried that we have problems that I can't fix. When we were engaged he gambled away $500 of our savings behind my back then confessed. Then after one ...
A. 25 July 2013: Listen, you really need to run a credit report on him, because it's WAY WAY WAY more than $500 or $650 that he's gambled. I wouldn't be surprised to find hidden credit cards, because once gambling has become a compulsive problem, it's usually ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend broke up with me for not having sex with him
Q. I am 21 years old and in college studying to be a registered nurse,recently I met a guy, he's very attractive and he asked me for my number, he texted me the same day asking me to come to his house.i told him no because it seems like he wanted sex ...
A. 24 July 2013: Don't be heartbroken. The guy is the scum of the earth. He's not worth your heart even having the slightest regard for him. He's a user who didn't care for you.
Don't give up your principles. And do go to guy's houses the first week you're d... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is withholding affection after argument
Q. My boyfriend and I are both in our late 20's and we've been living together for 3 years. Four days ago we got into a pretty bad argument where I suggested a break up in the heat of the moment (not something I want at all) and he agreed to. I then ...
A. 24 July 2013: There is a very fine line between a cooling-off period following a bad fight and emotionally punishing your partner for having the fight in the first place. Most people take time to cool down, some longer than others, and it's similar to a cat or ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend in my LDR is barely speaking to me anymore. Should I break up with her?
Q. I've been in a relationship for 3 years with this girl now. Last year, she moved to another city with her family. She used to call and message me all the time. After 3months,she joined a college for her further studies. She became friends with a guy ...
A. 24 July 2013: Yeah, she wants to break up with you, but is way too cowardly to do it herself directly. Her blowing off of you and talking about this other guy is to get you to break up with her so you can be the bad guy.
LDR's rarely work out, especial... (read in full...)
He rarely calls me and only texts me now and then.
Q. Hi everyone I'm in a relationship with a lovely guy. We are both in our late forties and have been dating for 8 months. When we are together, it is perfect. We laugh all the time, hug, kiss,share the same interests and have great sex. He...
A. 24 July 2013: Seeing each other 2-3 times a week? That's good!
As for calling and texting, you may be more comfortable with the regular use in texting technology than he is. And, many people hate using the phone, especially if they use it for business... (read in full...)
My wife is emotionally abusive and I don't love her anymore. How do I tell her I want a separation?
Q. Hello, and thanks for considering my question. My wife and I have been married for 5 years, and have a 2 year old daughter. We've been through some trying times, but my wife has always been very financially supportive as the main breadwinner of t...
A. 24 July 2013: I agree with the others in that no one should treat their spouse that way. No matter what, talking like that to a partner steps way over the line, and she owes you an apology for that.
That being said, I am sure there is more history than thi... (read in full...)
Why didn't he give me his number?
Q. Hi. Just wondering if anyone has any idea why he didn't ask for my number. In a quite busy night life area, I was with a friend and gave this very cute guy signals of interest. He came over and we chatted for about 10 minutes. As I enjoyed both h...
A. 23 July 2013: Heh, the other theory is that there's someone else who would answer that number, meaning a wife or a girlfriend. Cuddling and kissing a woman in a bar for 10 minutes is an ego boost for you and for him, but he wasn't interested in anything but ... (read in full...)
If you have cheated before, are you not worthy of any future relationships? Are cheaters really 'red flags'?
Q. I have read so many questions and responses on DC. The most common response or feedback is IF HE OR SHE HAS CHEATED ON HIS/HER GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND OR WIFE/HUSBAND BEFORE, YOU SHOULD NOT BE WITH HIM/HER BECAUSE HE/SHE WOULD DO THE SAME TO YOU! ...
A. 23 July 2013: Right. There's forgiveness and then there's intelligence.
To the cheater, there will always be a justification for cheating. It's the one they use to the person they're cheating with, and it's the one they use for themselves.
With respect ... (read in full...)
If you have cheated before, are you not worthy of any future relationships? Are cheaters really 'red flags'?
Q. I have read so many questions and responses on DC. The most common response or feedback is IF HE OR SHE HAS CHEATED ON HIS/HER GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND OR WIFE/HUSBAND BEFORE, YOU SHOULD NOT BE WITH HIM/HER BECAUSE HE/SHE WOULD DO THE SAME TO YOU! ...
A. 23 July 2013: Is this a question, or is this a rant??
Sorry, call me judgmental, but I don't date cheaters. There may be the possible exception to that rule, but I think someone who is a cheater, and especially a SERIAL cheater is a red flag.
I *especially... (read in full...)
It's not that she had sex, it's that she had sex with *him*
Q. Dear community, currently, I'm in a relationship with a girl (19. I'm really in love with her and I strongly believe that she's too. But there's this one thing that keeps bothering me the whole time. During the time her previous relation...
A. 21 July 2013: I personally would have s lot more of a problem with the fact that she cheated on her boyfriend with the guy. There's no such thing as a "relationship winding down" as an excuse to cheat. The relationship is on before it's off, and the fact that ... (read in full...)
Married a friend, not a soulmate. How do I tolerate his intense need for affection and attention when he returns?
Q. This is why I'm a jerk. My husband and I have been together for 8 years, married for 4. He's 31, I'm 27. For the first 4 years, he was a graphic designer. For the last 4 years, he's been a Marine. For the first 5ish years, he was a depres...
A. 21 July 2013: This post has me intrigued, to be honest.
You come across to me here that you talk about his cheating with 20-30+ people with the same feeling as a woman describing her husband's clipping toenails in front of her.
Yet what has you here bef... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has a bad temper, what should I do
Q. I'm 27 and my boyfriend is 26. We live together and most of the time we get along very well. However, my boyfriend is extremely touchy and if I say the "wrong" thing to him he gets very angry very fast. For example: Today my boyfriend and I ...
A. 21 July 2013: Your boyfriend will never change. An explosive, hair-trigger, rage fest is something that's cultivated and nurtured all the way to adulthood. The more you spend time together, especially if you marry him, the worse and more escalated it gets.
... (read in full...)
My American wife green eyes scare me during sex
Q. I'm Pakistan and two months back I came to US on fiance visa to marry my American Fiance whom I met through internet. We got married one month ago. I'm 33 and my wife is 34. She is beautiful, caring and loving. I have been confronting a very strange ...
A. 19 July 2013: Do not under any circumstances breathe a word about it to your wife. The eyes are the gateway to the soul, and if you say one word to her about it, you can kiss your sex life as it is goodbye, because it will her her like a personal rejection.
... (read in full...)
Went on a trip with my LDR and now he doesn't call
Q. Dear Cupid I am in LDR with my bf of 3 years for the past 6 months. We went for a trip few days back and had a very nice time. Few times he was cranky, but otherwise trip was a success. Its been a week, he hasnt called me once or returned by me...
A. 18 July 2013: Wow. So because anal sex caused you too much pain and you didn't want to continue doing it, he calls you bad in bed and pretty much puts YOU down??
I'm sorry, but your LDR is beyond disgusting, and he treated you horribly. He insults you beca... (read in full...)
He finishes so fast, before it even starts to feel good for me!
Q. So me and my boyfriend have been having sex for about two months now. I get him ready and he gets me ready and every time we go to do it he always cums so fast before it even starts to feel good for me. It's happened about 5 times now and it's so ...
A. 18 July 2013: He says he "just can't wait"? That's no reason not to attend to your needs first. You both need to get out of the mindset of the whole "simultaneous orgasm" nonsense of the movies where all it takes is some sweaty intercourse while the grandiose ... (read in full...)
I'm willing to give them a deposit on a home, but I want them to make some contribution too
Q. Following a divorce over 20 years ago I haven't lived with children who are now both in their mid twenties. Over that time I have maintained a good relationship with them and have always seen and spoken to them regularly. I am now in the position...
A. 17 July 2013: I think you haven't decided whether or not what you're giving is a gift or a lesson. As a mom, I totally get your reasoning behind it, but I fear it may have an opposite effect than you were intending it to have. Some kids are scared of owning a ... (read in full...)
I don't think I'm going to be the smartest any more, any tips?
Q. Im known as a super smart kid in mt school. next year im going to a charter school for eighth grade.its a brand new school just built. and all the kids there are super geniuses. like sheldon cooper smart.and im scared i wont be one of the smartest ...
A. 17 July 2013: First of all, congratulations on going to your new school! It sounds like your quality of education is going to be better than what you're getting now!
As for you not being the smartest anymore, I know it feels like a bad thing to you, but in r... (read in full...)
Break up after 12 years together, she's moved on and happy but I'm miserable!
Q. Hi there. I read someone elses story and mine relates a bit. I am really hurting bad and I need advice. My girlfriend recently left me. A bit more than a month ago. We were together for 12 years. We were always good together. No cheating, no ...
A. 17 July 2013: I'm guessing she was with him before your relationship ended, and she had already disconnected from you long before she actually broke up with you. I'm guessing that the moment you two had an issue with parenting, she stayed with you, but in her ... (read in full...)
Why would my lover ask his wife to pick me up?
Q. I have a really strange question to ask. Iv'e been involved with a married man for over 8yrs.and please i'm not here asking for comments regarding the long term affair.but today when i texted him and said i will not be home till later this afternoo...
A. 17 July 2013: Does he have an open relationship with his wife? Unless he was an idiot or looking from some inane filler-babble to say to you, if he meant it, that means that he has an arrangement with his wife, and she doesn't care whether you're with him or ... (read in full...)
What does no love lost between two people mean?
Q. Someone told me that there is no love lost between me and my son's mother-in-law. what does she mean? Has the mother-in-law badmouthed me?...
A. 17 July 2013: That usually means you both can't stand each other. It signifies a very strong dislike or hatred shared between two people.... (read in full...)
How do I handle my matron-of-honor duties at my sister's wedding? I'm on bed rest for my pregnancy!
Q. My sister is getting married this weekend. I am the matron of honor and therefore would have to give a speech. I am on strict bed rest for my pregnancy and can only attend the ceremony as it isn't long. Should I have one of the other bridesmaids ...
A. 17 July 2013: I like the idea of recording the speech.
I have a really good friend whose matron of honor was pregnant and on bed rest. Like you, she cleared the ceremony with her doctor, and at the receiving line and the reception, the bride and her family g... (read in full...)
Does getting oral still qualify you as a virgin?
Q. hey guys just a quick question does geting oral qualify as being a virgin some people say yes others no if you can help please do...
A. 17 July 2013: You're trying to catch flies?
;)... (read in full...)
Does getting oral still qualify you as a virgin?
Q. hey guys just a quick question does geting oral qualify as being a virgin some people say yes others no if you can help please do...
A. 16 July 2013: I agree. Virginity is a lack of sexual intercourse.
However, there is a difference between virginity and innocence. Today's society more than ever facilitates a loss of innocence without losing virginity.
You are a virgin. You are not inno... (read in full...)
Three months and he didn't mention he has kids?
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months. He is 28 and I am 25. The relationship moved really quickly and I absolutely fell in love with him and him with me. This past weekend, I found out that he has two children he neve...
A. 16 July 2013: Oh yeah, forgot one thing!
She has keys to his place. I doubt if she were an ex, he would have let her keep a copy of them, and if she were an ex, he would have threatened to call the police on her for breaking and entering.
She's *NOT* a... (read in full...)
Three months and he didn't mention he has kids?
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months. He is 28 and I am 25. The relationship moved really quickly and I absolutely fell in love with him and him with me. This past weekend, I found out that he has two children he neve...
A. 16 July 2013: I couldn't agree more with SVC. He denied his own family to you, and I'm guessing that her storming into his room means in fact that there's no "ex" about her, and that he's still with her with you on the side. She was NOT an ex.
How do I know t... (read in full...)
He broke up with my friend, I fell for him, and now he's talking to her again
Q. One of my friends broke up with her boyfriend... and her bf talked to me a lot and we used to text each other.... i really liked him and thought that now since my friend is out of the picture... it may happen that we two end up together... it may ...
A. 15 July 2013: I agree with WiseOwle on this one, provided that you didn't previously ask your friend if she would be alright if you dated her ex.
It sounds like you never had any sort of conversation with your friend about dating the ex. You may think that sin... (read in full...)
When you squirt does it smell like pee?
Q. I think I just learned how to squirt I empty my bladder nd I had the feeling of Peeing nd I let go so I squirted bt it still smells alittle like pee so I got up and went to the bathroom to see if I needed to pee more bt I don't so is that pee or is ...
A. 15 July 2013: Actually, it's not exactly from the same hole. We urinate through our vulva, and true female ejaculation is through our vagina via the Skene's gland. They help lubricate the vagina and seem to be triggered by sexual stimulation (i.e. the act of ... (read in full...)
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