A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with this guy for a while now. I love him very much and thought he felt the same way. we use to share everything. He is the only guy friend I felt I needed. I don't talk to other guys on the phone or internet. I recently found out that this man had been married 3 times he didn't disclose that in the beginning. but when we did talk about it he says the women was crazy and everything was their fault. I did want to eventually marry this man until I seen a posting on facebook. that he posted to his exwife. he said he missed her and was reminiscing on a picture and thinking how beautiful she was.. He has never complimented me... and they were saying some inappropriate things on there. although they are many states apart I felt very disrespected, and I brought it to his attention and he started yelling at me saying that I was lying and he never said those things, and I was pathetic and a loser..come to find out these women he talk to doesn't even know he is in a relationship.then he tells me to stay out of his business, but I thought our relationship was my business. I am tired fedup and wondering if I am overreacting for wanting to leave or just being jealous
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ex-wife, facebook, his ex, jealous Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (18 August 2013):
Time to move on. This guy isn't interested in a serious healthy relationship.
Love yourself enough, respect yourself to start a new! Life has it's ups and downs but you are in control of the ups!
Good Luck!
A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (18 August 2013):
 This is one of those situations where you RUN...don't walk away! I wouldn't even consider staying in a relationship with a man where he neglected to tell you that he had been married 3 times. What the heck else hasn't he told you that just sort of conveniently may have slipped his mind??? YUK..you dodged a bullet sweetie..consider yourself lucky that you found out these things now and not later. I love it how he says his ex wives were all crazy, so easy to put the blame on someone else, isn't it?? Leave this guy..sooner rather than later.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (18 August 2013):
 Seriously, you should count yourself the luckiest woman on the face of the earth right now. First of all, you are INTELLIGENT! You must have been feeling bad vibes in the first place if you felt compelled to check into him, and finding out that he has been married 3 times and didn't disclose is a VERY big deal that he should have told you. Becoming serious with someone means you should know if there was spousal support or children involved. In short, he had baggage that you had a right to decide to accept or not.
THEN, when you addressed it, you found a huge red flag -- his blaming them all for the marriages. Sorry, but once or twice, I could accept that someone married the wrong person and it didn't work out, but three or more times, and he has to be part of the equation here in regards to the multiple marriages, because that shows a pattern. So he doesn't accept responsibility.
Finally, if you haven't figured out that he's toxic, then you saw his Facebook crap and upon addressing his apparent disloyalty to YOU, his current relationship, he decides to attack you viciously. This is an ultimate red flag, and I've seen people like that, when they're called on their lies and bad behavior, turn it around on you and attack so viciously that they take all attention off of their own failings.
Get away from him now and fast. He is the loser, not you. You now know the real him underneath his slick con man veneer, and you're luckier than his last 3 marriages who didn't see him for what he was until it was too late.
RUN AWAY and never look back. You caught a toxic man. Time to cut him loose, because he is bad news and inside, you already knew it, or you wouldn't have started checking up on him.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (18 August 2013):
You should rethink your future to decide if this is a man you want to marry for the long term. I think something is too strange to be married three times and non of it was his fault. Even I can admit to some of my own faults. I also do not think his behaviour to his ex is appropriate. I think you should leave and consider having multiple friends who are guys who can give her certain perspective on things when you do meet a guy for yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2013): I think you're under-reacting.
When a man calls you a loser, after he failed three marriages; that he neglected to tell you about.
YOU SHOULD BE FURIOUS!!!
His bags should be packed and waiting for him at the door.
He is a liar, verbally abusive, technically a cheat, and there is nothing to be jealous over.
The other three women didn't over-react by kicking his
no-count ass to the curb.
So should you.
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