A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Sorry,my story is a bit long.My ex and I broke up three months ago. We had a huge fight before we broke up. He asked for time and space but I didn't give it to him because he was distant(We were in LDR for two years)and the fight was about one of his female friends who has a boyfriend but was always very touchy and tried to get between us. I've told him a lot of times that I didn't like it but he just didn't listen and said I was overreacted. so I initiated the breakup. All I got from his was "Sorry, move on." Apparently he chose his friend over me. A month after the breakup, I asked why he would throw away a 4-year-relationship without any reason. The answer he gave me was I was too clingy, insecure, and accused him dating the girl. All he said was how terrible a person I am. I cut no contact since then and completely accepted the fact that it's all over.I keep myself busy and remind myself that he told me to move on. I think about him sometimes, but I think I'm doing better and better. Two nights ago, a song reminded me of him and I started to read all the emails he wrote to me then I cried like hell. I was fine the next day, but I think God was joking around with me. My ex wrote me 2 emails and told me to pick up my phone when he called because it's SUPER IMPORTANT. After I picked up, he denied everything he said or did. He wanted me to fly to him because he can't finish school without me he needs me. I told him it's not my business. We broke up. He questioned me it's impossible to forget someone that I was with for 4 years so easily. I realized that I have no feelings for him the moment we started talking again and I have nothing to say to him. He's dead to me. Why did he wait for three months to tell me that he needs me? It's just too late now. What do I do if he calls or writes to me again? I don't want to be a bitch but I don't want to get myself into this shit again.
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (11 August 2013):
 Here's a really obvious tipoff:
You dated him for 4 years and were LDR for 2 of those 4 years. If you were truly clingy and insecure, it would have manifest very early on. The fact that he accused you of it only at the end of the relationship regarding one specific girl means he was looking for the excuse to break up with you and test the waters.
I am guessing he had "buyer's remorse" because his single life wasn't what he thought it would be and realized he made the dumbest mistake of his life. But there's a saying -- you can't unscramble an egg. Your breakup was a Nuclear Event, not some minor spat. He drove it home with a "Sorry, move on" and a month later when he could have had you back, he chose to insult you.
Too late now. Even his plea for you to drop everything and call HIM immediately followed by a "you need to fly up because I can't make it without you" may seem like he had a change of heart, but even that was ALL ABOUT HIM. It may have seemed like vindication for you, but he was merely demonstrating the same selfishness that made him mistreat and insult you three months ago. If he really wanted you back, he would have attempted to make up to you his mistreatment of you. Instead, he wants everything for HIM, including you paying to fly to him? Sorry, but you have your own life now.
You're not a bitch. If he wants you back, he needs to be where you are, trying to get YOU back. Otherwise, it's just the same thing. There are many other guys out there who know how to treat you like you are special.
A
female
reader, loony89 +, writes (10 August 2013):
Good for you. You knew as soon as it happened that the 4 years was just gone. Seems it took him a little longer and now he's realized what he's thrown away for some random girl with a bf. Since you have moved on and have no feelings for this guy anymore, I think it's best that you stand your ground and just do what you've been doing, getting better and stronger. After all he is the one that told you "sorry, move on." Well now you have taken his advise and done just that and you're loving life :) If he texts or call again, you can just ignore him totally and he will get the msg. I also recommend that you delete this e-mail, number, facebook, whatsapp, twitter, all that stuff, there's not point in having it around. If it makes you feel better, ask him to stop contacting you as you are him no longer have a life or future together.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2013): Block him on your phone and delete his emails without reading them.
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