Why does he suddenly seem distant?
Q. Why does he suddenly seem distant? I've been chatting with an old high school friend for about 4 months. We've been talking everyday (facebook, skype, phone, etc) and it was pretty intense-talking about the future, him telling me he misses me, al...
A. 14 October 2013: Be careful. "short and platonic" all of a sudden means his wife or girlfriend has discovered you. I'm guessing she caught him, but he's still wanting some sex, so he's sneaking communication with you to keep the link. Think about it - he's ... (read in full...)
Am I being insecure or should her lifestyle / attitude be a legitimate concern?
Q. My girlfriend and I (3 months together) got into a fight last week because she told me that if she goes out with her friends they would have a "contest" to see who could get the most numbers at a bar or club. I found this disrespectful and odd so I ...
A. 13 October 2013: I'm very much on your side.
She was being disloyal playing that game with her friend at the bar getting numbers. She let other men buy her drinks, solicit her, and it was for the ego boost. If she's that insecure, she can't be trusted.... (read in full...)
She says we don't have enough "quality time" together, even though we're living together
Q. Ok this is my first time writing on something like this, but I know my girlfriend has asked for online help before and said its really helpful so here I am. We have been together for around 5 years I think and we've just moved in together but eve...
A. 13 October 2013: I'll tell you this - the two of you have fallen into the trap that so many married people fall into without realizing it.
Here's the thing, before you moved in together, you had to shower and look your best to go see your girlfriend. You went to ... (read in full...)
Pregnant by current boyfriend but still have feelings for my ex. Should I keep the baby or give it up for adoption?
Q. So I was 14 and a freshman in highschool, and I had made really good friends with a guy (we'll call him Sam) while I was dating (Max). Max heard a rumor that I was a sleep around and just started to ignore me. I was hurt and ended it with him, and ...
A. 12 October 2013: First of all, you are WAY TOO YOUNG to be having sex, and being pregnant, you know why you are too young. Teenagers your age having sex like this is like handing a toddler a loaded gun or a chainsaw.
So leave guys alone altogether if you don't ha... (read in full...)
We have a 20 year old difference. Don't know if there is any point in starting things again.
Q. Hi, I was seeing a much younger guy casually for the last 8 months. We were really just sleeping together. I had just come out of a relationship and he was very inexperienced so we decided to try not to get too involved. He finished things ...
A. 12 October 2013: First of all, you go girl! 40 *is* the new 20! Who says age differences are only cool when the guy is older, right?
Second, if you're feeling like you could fall in love with him, best to leave things over and not try to continue with him. Yo... (read in full...)
I denied a guy orgasm and now I feel bad. What should I Do?
Q. I am an 18 year old girl with an intense foot fetish. I am aroused by other girl's feet, but I'm not a lesbian, as in I still enjoy sex with males. I also get extremely turned on when someone licks the soles of my feet. So recently I was out with ...
A. 12 October 2013: OMG, I would have broken his nose accidentally kicking him in the face because my feet are *very* ticklish. Orgasm via feet licking would be the safest sex around, except that your feet have been to some dirty places in shoes and the ground.
... (read in full...)
My friend has a perfect girlfriend yet cheated several times. He needs advice what to do now.
Q. One of my best friends is with a girl and has been since Feb. The girl went away travelling over the summer but they stayed together, despite only being together a few months at this point. Anyway my best mate fell for a girl at work, whilst his gf ...
A. 12 October 2013: So your best friend is on here reading these comments?
Alright, let me put it to him this way. What if his girlfriend were out sleeping with other men while she was away from him. Would he want to know about it? Would he want to know that she... (read in full...)
Him keeping his ex as a friend bothers me!
Q. How can I stop worrying and stop being upset about my boyfriend's friendship with his ex girlfriend? Even though they had a bad break up and things got pretty ugly with them (she cheated on him a lot and they fought a lot) they both decided to ...
A. 12 October 2013: I dated a guy who was friends with his ex, and he ended up cheating on me with her and eventually going back to her, which again, they separated. Last I checked, she's still busting up his relationships because he can't let go.
Not the kind of ... (read in full...)
Why would an ex say "we should have a relationship with love and compasion because we have history"?
Q. Why would an ex say "we should have a relationship with love and compasion because we have history." he left the marriage for another woman who he has been with for over 5 yrs. now. there were other women before her. He is extremely dishones...
A. 11 October 2013: Wait a second - did you say that he put everything into his girlfriend's name before you filed for divorce? Heh, you could notify the courts that he committed fraud, which will get him in serious trouble. You can't do that, nor can you hide assets ... (read in full...)
Emotional blackmail or these threats are real?
Q. Is this emotional blackmail? Been together 15 years. He does this exact scenario, exact words, exact demands each time. This is the third time in 5 years. Even in the exact same months, Sept/Oct. I will try and explain how this is on the exact same ...
A. 11 October 2013: You didn't get specific in what exactly he's demanding from you, but given he does it right before he leaves town for his second job, I'm guessing he'd intimidating you into not cheating on him or leaving him when he goes.
Seriously, what exactly ... (read in full...)
Why would an ex say "we should have a relationship with love and compasion because we have history"?
Q. Why would an ex say "we should have a relationship with love and compasion because we have history." he left the marriage for another woman who he has been with for over 5 yrs. now. there were other women before her. He is extremely dishones...
A. 11 October 2013: I'd tell the ex that his "history" with you is based on lies, abuse, and manipulation, so therefore no relationship is going to happen, as he is toxic and you have no friends who are abusive, lying, and manipulative. Relationships are based on ... (read in full...)
Am I a stalker for sharing my crush's pictures on facebook?
Q. I used to have a crush whose pics I shared on Facebook and that person got angry with me for that very reason. Am I a stalker for that? ...
A. 11 October 2013: It depends on the pictures. Did YOU take the pictures yourself, or did you copy them from hers or someone else's Facebook?
If you did take the pictures yourself, did you do it with her knowledge and permission, meaning are they pictures she full... (read in full...)
We broke up because of facebook! Who's right?
Q. So a few days ago my girlfriend randomly starts acting cold and won't tell me what's wrong initially. She then spills the beans and tells me that she saw me on Facebook liking photos and statuses of girls that she knows I used to talk to. We ...
A. 11 October 2013: The key is what you said here:
"that she knows I used to talk to."
What precisely does that mean? You dated them? You worked with them? You slept with them? You had a crush on them?
I'll tell you this straight up...if you had anything... (read in full...)
Abusive husband wants wife to move to Iraq with him when he's deported! How do we help her?
Q. My cousins husband is from iraq. He is a failed asylum seeker and is now in prison as he was violent and abusive towards her. my cousin has stood by him as he begged her not to leave him. The home office want to deport him and if they can deport him ...
A. 11 October 2013: Definitely have your cousin watch Not Without My Daughter. He really must have broken her down if he beats the crap out of her, yet she still wants to be with him.... (read in full...)
After two years, he doesn't want kids. This is a different kind of rejection--I am devastated.
Q. I've been in a serious relationship for two years now. The topic of kids has been a back and forth issue for us--it's a stereotype, but here we go- I want children, and always have--he doesn't. He recently made that abundantly clear. After two...
A. 11 October 2013: Actually, your boyfriend isn't guilty. He's made it clear from the start that he's not wanting kids. You want them, so you must understand that if you want to stay with him, you will *not* have kids. Never hope someone will change their mind ... (read in full...)
Married, open relationship, and now divorce?
Q. I need you guys opinions, please. Here's my situation: My wife and I knew each other since for about 8 years. We got married on 2011 so it would be almost 2 years of marriage. We both agreed on having an open relationship as long as in the end we w...
A. 10 October 2013: Not much more I can add to what the others are saying, especially in terms of "wife duties". Those are "household duties", not "wife" duties. She's working later than you, what did you expect? In my house, I usually work later. My husband cooked ... (read in full...)
Help I have pushed him away
Q. Help I am ruining my relationship! Okay my boyfriend is sweet and caring. All he thought about was me. Wanted to spend time with me. Always texting me. Holding me tight in bed. Was so good. But I became a nag constant. Always horrible. Never ...
A. 9 October 2013: First of all, why were you crying for days? That's not normal. What was going on in your life that you were constantly crying about? Some guys can't handle it, as crying unnerves many of them. Other guys for some weird reason consider a woman's ... (read in full...)
Said some nasty things while drunk and he won't accept my apology
Q. I met this guy a few weeks ago while I was away on a hen. We clicked instantly and he came to visit me in Ireland at the weekend..He is 32 and I am 37 The first few days were amazing. We got on brilliantly. On Saturday we went out all day drinking...
A. 9 October 2013: First of all, stop feeling bad *right* now.
Second, if his feelings were "so strong" for you, then why was he dancing with other girls right in front of you? Being jealous isn't a bad thing when you see evidence of his being a player right in... (read in full...)
I can just switch off my feelings. Does that mean I'm incapable of loving someone?
Q. I just want to know if it's normal to be able to emotionally detach myself from feelings and people like its nothing? I could care about you today, love you or even be IN love with you but tomorrow it could be as if you're a complete stranger. The ...
A. 9 October 2013: It doesn't mean you're incapable of loving someone. However, it's a defense mechanism. It's not that you can switch off your feelings, it's that you hold back even when you're in "on" mode. It's kinda like growing plants in rich soil, but an inch ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend about my personal life?
Q. Me and my friend who is a boy got drunk one night and ended up having sex, losing our virginities. We agreed to not tell anyone because if we ever told anyone about any of our other sexual encounters in the past it always ended up in fights. ...
A. 9 October 2013: I am confused. If you got drunk and both of you lost your virginity, then wouldn't that be your FIRST sexual encounter?
What does this mean? "if we ever told anyone about any of our other sexual encounters in the past it always ended up in fight... (read in full...)
I'm not speaking to him because he chose his hobby over me after being away for a weekend!
Q. Hello, I need a little advice from the neutral side. My boyfriend(we´ve been together for 2years) was away for a weekend because of work and I really missed him and was looking forward to see him on monday(we don´t live together). But on monday he ...
A. 8 October 2013: He was away for the weekend, but you said you and he were together a lot before that, right? I can understand why he'd want some time to himself after a busy work weekend and a lot of time with you. Hobbies help people recharge.
I think he shoul... (read in full...)
Cyber sex gone wrong!!
Q. dear users recently i made the stupid mistake of delving into the cyber sex cam world on skype. i had been talking to this girl for a while and it kind of got to what youd call online friends with benefits we ended up camming, and im sure yo...
A. 8 October 2013: Aunty Babbit has great advice, and I would suggest that you pursue legal and civil remedy for this. I'm in the US, so I can't relate directly to UK laws as she can, but in the news, that's becoming a big thing, and the country here as well as ... (read in full...)
Will I regret taking my daughter's dad off childsupport even though she is grown?
Q. Dear Cupid,I am caught up with two men that one took care of his child and then the next one disowned his children by me.Long story short I want your opinion on this the first man I have two children by him he never paid a dime? For the second guy ...
A. 8 October 2013: Child support is not punishment. It costs on average approximately $200,000 to raise a child until the age of 18. If one parent doesn't pay his or her share of support, it falls to the other one to pick up the slack. In the case of parents in ... (read in full...)
How do I get the drunk to leave?
Q. I Am DONE but he won't leave! He is rude and had a drinking problem! Mean to family and friends!! When sober totally different, I cannot take it anymore. How do I get him to leave?...
A. 8 October 2013: I know you're mad, but you left a bunch of crucial details out of your post:
1. "The drunk" - is he your husband, boyfriend, or fiance?
2. Do you own, jointly own, or rent?
It's important to say whether or not you're married to him. If you ... (read in full...)
How to give a married man the brush off without causing offence?
Q. To keep it brief, a married man who works in the same field as me has been flirting and inappropriate since an event a few months ago. I have no intention of doing anything untoward and keep steering things back to a professorial level in our ...
A. 8 October 2013: If you flirted back with him, which it sounds like you did until he started pressing the issue beyond flirting and making things uncomfortable, then you need to tell him this:
"Listen, I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I was interest... (read in full...)
Should I go to homecoming without a date?
Q. I've been single for a long time and now it's my senior year at homecoming should I go even if I don't have a date ?...
A. 8 October 2013: I agree with Tisha! You should do it, and if you have some friends to go with, all the more fun!
At my first homecoming, I broke up with my boyfriend of eight months after I caught him cheating on me a week and a half earlier. I had my dress an... (read in full...)
I've become the maid and babysitter in my house because of the way my wife now acts. What can I do?
Q. i am 35 and my wife is 30 we have been married a year but together almost 6 years. we have sex maybe 1-2 times ever other month. before that about 1 year ago it was 1-3 times amonth, we have a son together and her 8 yr old daughter whom believes im ...
A. 7 October 2013: It's time to stop hiding your feelings from her.
If you're not happy, you need to let her know this. You shouldn't have quit your job if it wasn't what you were wanting. There are other jobs that would have had different hours to accommod... (read in full...)
Help with oral sex
Q. I don't like giving blow jobs to my boyfriend. We have been together for some time now and we decides to hold on on sex and sexual favors. Now it's been a year or so we started doing oral. I love my boyfriend with everything I have and we are ...
A. 7 October 2013: Of course it is! And you can be sweet and loving, but still be a porn addict. He's experiencing physical side effects, and he's used it for education, which totally is bad. Amateur porn is very rarely amateur. It's a genre that's just as ... (read in full...)
Will I regret taking my daughter's dad off childsupport even though she is grown?
Q. Dear Cupid,I am caught up with two men that one took care of his child and then the next one disowned his children by me.Long story short I want your opinion on this the first man I have two children by him he never paid a dime? For the second guy ...
A. 7 October 2013: So, if your new guy was really awesome to your kids, why is he behind on payments for child support? And how much are we talking about exactly?
Also, you're from the United States, meaning that while many states cut off at age 18, many others d... (read in full...)
My g/f played strip poker till everyone was naked but says nothing happened?
Q. My girlfriend went away for the weekend to visit some friends. She told me that she had some drinks and ended up playing strip poker with 2 other guys and a girl. She told me nothing happened. just played until everyone was fully naked. What should ...
A. 7 October 2013: I think the only way strip poker should be played by a girl or a guy with a significant other (wife, fiance, girlfriend), is if BOTH people are there.
For her to go off out of down and disrobe in front of three other people, two of them guys, it... (read in full...)
Help with oral sex
Q. I don't like giving blow jobs to my boyfriend. We have been together for some time now and we decides to hold on on sex and sexual favors. Now it's been a year or so we started doing oral. I love my boyfriend with everything I have and we are ...
A. 7 October 2013: This isn't about oral sex, even though you spoke about it here.
If you have been dating for a year with no sexual contact, he has been relieving sexual tension through and solely through porn and masturbation. There are psychosomatic side eff... (read in full...)
Deletes all his texts from girls. Is he hiding something or am I crossing the line?
Q. My boyfriend deletes all the texts from other girls. Well he knows that I am jealous and I have confronted him for flirting with his colleague and knows that I sometimes go through his phone. (Please don't judge). Now he deletes all the texts with ...
A. 7 October 2013: People talk a lot about trust on here, but it's as much of a destruction of trust to dig through his privacy whenever you feel like it. That is why he's deleting his texts. You cross the line by rifling through his private stuff and then calling ... (read in full...)
I have a good boyfriend now but my ex lover contacted me again and I am confused.
Q. Hi there I am in a pickle at the moment. I am currently with a man whom I love dearly and have pictured having kids with him and also marriage he's a gem! Have had a tough relationship but we've lulled through a lot together, he also has autistic ...
A. 6 October 2013: You're missing the verbal and emotional abuse? Lovely.
I think you're bored in the relationship you're in. 3 years is enough time for the newness to wear off, and enough time to get comfortable and bored.
Going back to the ex would be like... (read in full...)
I have lost attraction to my wife since she gained a lot of weight.
Q. Hi i have a problem,my wife is fat she has put on weight,I requested, advised her to decrease her weight, but she not taking any step to do it,due to this i am annoyed how shall i tell her that i am not able to manage my sexual intercourse, i don't ...
A. 6 October 2013: People's metabolisms run at different rates. Medical issues can slow or speed that metabolism. Men's typically run much higher than women's, partially due to natural muscle mass. Thyroid issues, birth control, medication such as steroids or ... (read in full...)
I have lost attraction to my wife since she gained a lot of weight.
Q. Hi i have a problem,my wife is fat she has put on weight,I requested, advised her to decrease her weight, but she not taking any step to do it,due to this i am annoyed how shall i tell her that i am not able to manage my sexual intercourse, i don't ...
A. 6 October 2013: Let me ask you this - if your hairline started receding and a chronic illness like exczema messed up your skin, would you want her to coldly tell you that you're not attractive while making up reasons why she doesn't want to be in the same room with ... (read in full...)
I am beginning to think that my boyfriend either wants out of this relationship or is trying to emotionally abuse me as a form of control
Q. Hello Aunties/Uncles! Okay this may seem like an unusual problem, my boyfriend of 3 years has started to nit pick and in my opinion pick at problems that are simply not there. For example the current problem is, he accused me of being "too happ...
A. 6 October 2013: I think it's the former, that he's wanting out, because usually abuse and control manifest earlier than three years down, and as you said, it sounds like he's starting to lash out at you in this way.
The other option you didn't name is that he'... (read in full...)
What's the difference between dating and being "in a relationship"?
Q. I don't think I was ever told the difference between dating, exclusive dating, and being in a relationship with someone. I think I have an idea, but I would like some more opinions, so guys and gals answer away!...
A. 4 October 2013: These things are defined by two things -- intent and time.
Dating is the initial "getting to know you" phase of two people interested in a possible relationship. Someone may date more than one person at the same time, and some may not. Typicall... (read in full...)
Earned my degrees and now have to figure out how much my boyfriend influences where I work and live
Q. It was a few months into our relationship that my world got turned upside down, with the sudden death of both my parents in a car wreck. My boyfriend was the first person I called when I found out, and he came straight over to collect me from my ...
A. 3 October 2013: I fully agree with iAmHereToHelpYou. Your student life is over. I'm really sorry about your parents. I just lost my father as well, and I know that your boyfriend is your link to your past.
He's had it nice -- not having to forge his own way ... (read in full...)
How can I possibly get my ex to see what he is doing to our daughter, without causing more trouble?
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles. I have a problem that I am hoping you can help me resolve. I have a beautiful daughter with my ex. We had a messy split, 6 months ago. Although I am trying to communicate with my ex, regarding our girl, I feel I am hitt...
A. 3 October 2013: Thanks for responding. You are in charge of your daughter's environment then. When she's around, show a lot of love, and don't talk a lot about her dad or the fight or the courts.
As for your ex, if mediation went south, then you need to deal ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend still want to be friends with his ex...and could he still have feelings for her?
Q. Dear cupid, My boyfriend has told me that the break up with his ex girlfriend who cheated still hurts him a lot. (It's been a year since they broke up). Could this mean he's still not over his ex? or is it just that he's not over the hurt it caused ...
A. 3 October 2013: Let's be straight - if the breakup still hurts him, he's not over her. If he's still in contact with her, then he's not over her.
If he's not over her, then that is disloyal to you. If he's being disloyal to you, then you're wasting your tim... (read in full...)
Suffering erectile dysfunction. Would it be wrong to encourage my wife to take lovers?
Q. I become unable to perform with a full erection. My wife thinks that I no longer want her and am gay or at least bi-sexual.I get very excited thinking about and talking about her having a sexual encounter with another man. She is using topical ...
A. 3 October 2013: If you have ED, before using it to act out a fantasy regarding your wife and another man, have you gone to a doctor for medical help? And, are you able to masturbate with a full erection?
Otherwise, knowing you have ED, why is your wife using te... (read in full...)
How can I possibly get my ex to see what he is doing to our daughter, without causing more trouble?
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles. I have a problem that I am hoping you can help me resolve. I have a beautiful daughter with my ex. We had a messy split, 6 months ago. Although I am trying to communicate with my ex, regarding our girl, I feel I am hitt...
A. 3 October 2013: I'll give you my first impressions, but to be more accurate, I need a lot more information here to advise you. Here are some questions:
1. Who is your daughter living with, you or her father?
2. How old is she?
3. What caused the split? ... (read in full...)
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