A
male
age
30-35,
*oviefan
writes:I met a girl on odd string of events. I went out on the porch of my friends house that i now have taken up residence to chill with him while he smoked. Well i looked across the street to the house directly across and saw this cute girl i had noticed around a few times. I said i found her incredibly attractive at a normal level voice and she almost instantly looked over at me and stared for a few and i looked back.She approached asking if i could give her a ride up to the local convenience store and i agreed. We talked and hit it off very well, and i asked for her number which she replied she had just started dating a guy this week. But she said she would definitely be interested in seeing where this could go. While this was happening she started shaking slightly and she began to sweat. She texted me till 3 in the morning that night, and she texts me all the time still weeks later. At first she was a bit nervous, but quickly warmed up to me. She began giving me deep intimate hugs, touching me in a flirty manner, checking me out whenever i am not wearing a shirt, offering to put lotion on my sunburn every time she can, going off with me at all hours, talking about sex and her past in very intimate ways and showing interest in the same from me. I blatantly came out the first week and said i was into her and wanted to be with her. And asked how she felt about me. She responded saying she was beginning to wish she was single still because i seem like a loving and caring individual who has a respect for women. But that she did not want to break things off with the other guy because they have only been together for a short time and he is super into her and she would feel like a bitch and a whore if she did. Whenever we hang out and have alone time there is a severe sexual tension that forms, my friend walked in on it unexpectedly and walked right back out because he could just feel he had walked in on something, but nothing physically was happening. He advised me to make a move, since the relationship is new, and likely not that serious. Basically, she is not married, so go for it. As of this post i have not, but i may try very soon when the moment is right and go in 90% and see if she reciprocates. The other night we sat in my car after a short drive for nearly 4 hours from 11PM to 3AM. Talking about sex, our pasts, our wants, our needs, our dislikes, and anything in between. Yet she seems to not have any interest in breaking things off. I live within mere seconds from her house and this other guy lives over an hour away via car. She spends a massive amount of time with me daily, most days nearly the entire day. I had a girl friend of mine want to hear about this and she said it sounded like the girl was confused, needed to wake up, woman up, and break up with her ex and anything else is leading me on.Is my friend correct in feeling she is leading me on? And if so what can i do about this?
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flirt, her ex, her past, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (1 August 2013):
 Dude she just wants some guilt free sex and excitement at this point in her life. That's why she let you know about him. She isn't breaking up with him any time soon.
So make a decision. Do you want sex with no strings attached (which she does), or do you want more??
She isn't being satisfied in her current relationship. Don't waste time trying to convince her to leave him coz it ain't gonna happen!!
If you decide to let her go, she'll just find some other guy to satisfy her carnal urges.
Make a decision. Good luck!!
A
female
reader, peapod +, writes (1 August 2013):
She is confused and you are letting her lead you on. She told you upfront she hada boyfriend and now you need to tell her upfront you want a relationship from her. If she stays with her boyfriend then you move on.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 August 2013):
 This is what happens when you "chase" after a girl who is already in a relationship - you get burned.
Look for single ladies and you won't have to deal with being used and strung along.
And bro, you are LETTING her lead you on.
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A
male
reader, Moviefan +, writes (1 August 2013):
Moviefan is verified as being by the original poster of the question I have never really been lead on before so this is new to me. Thanks for the help.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (1 August 2013):
 If it's been weeks and weeks, then she's with the other guy and is hedging her bets with you. You are second place. For her to spend intimate time with you (even emotionally) is disloyal to her boyfriend.
You should tell her that you can no longer accept this, and that if she chooses him, then wish her well and walk away. Don't respond to her requests for rides or "neighborly" favors.
She is leading you on, and you're letting it happen. As long as you continue on like this with her, there is no reason for her to change anything. And, it's not healthy for you to keep things as they are either.
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A
female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (1 August 2013):
 I think the better question is why are you pursuing someone who told you that she has a boyfriend? That's a little disrespectful, don't you think? I mean, imagine that it was you who was the boyfriend and this other guy in your position. How would you feel about this girl and the other guy in that scenario?
To answer your question, I think your best course of action is to pull away. Don't contact her and stop trying to see her. If she is persistent about reaching out to you, you know that she likes having you in her life (whether this is because she genuinely likes you or because she simply likes male attention is yet to be seen).
In the meantime quit throwing all your eggs in one basket, and keep your eyes and heart open to other potential mates.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 August 2013):
 Are things rather confined in that back pocket Buddy? Cause that's exactly where she has you.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (1 August 2013):
 If she wont break up with her new boyfriend she isn't feeling the same chemistry as you feel.
I'd suggest asking her outright if she sees any future for the two of you together, and if she wont, or can't answer yes, then put on your walking shoes and walk away.
Its possible she could keep you on tenterhooks for years without you getting any further than you are now. Don't sit around waiting for her, time's a moving and so should you.
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